


A Starstruck Romance

by violetnyte



Category: Starfighter (Comic)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack Treated Seriously, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, Online Romance, accidental feels, not so accidental feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-11 22:18:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 99,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetnyte/pseuds/violetnyte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Aleks is busy with grad school but still finds time to maintain his art blog for his favorite old sci-fi book series. Under the artist name of Deimos, he strikes up a friendship with a fan named Praxis, who might be just about the only other guy into his favorite OTP. As things between them start to get more serious, what's shy Aleks going to do when Praxis wants to meet in person?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my tumblr pals for volunteering to play cameos roles in the story!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Raven/kruk-zestaw for being my reference assistant so I could fake like I know anything about art.

Anonymous asked you: Your latest portrait of the Prince looked so realistic! What’s your technique?

myshonok-deimos: Good question, anon. I actually do most of my linework in pencil first and then scan it. I do the clean up, inking, and coloring in Sai, with some touch-ups in Photoshop when I get lazy. I use a lot of layers of treat each one like I could only have one layer. It’s really important to keep track of the details on each layer, especially when I’m trying for a more realistic approach. For the Prince portrait, I used a lot of blending. For his skintone, I went crazy with the airbrush tool. He’s so creamy-skinned that I wanted a good contrast with the red soil, like, almost making him glow with it. I’m glad you liked it! Thanks for the question.

#my art #anonymous

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myshonok-deimos: Just something I’ve been thinking about.

Read More -->

#my dumb headcanon #text post spam #why am I still awake at 3am?

turn-0f-mind said: I agree entirely with your thoughts regarding Pelgrad’s reaction to the ruins of the Red Palace, especially in light of all that happens between him in the Prince in the second book.  
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myshonok-deimos: Another WIP. Slightly NSFW, Pelgrad/Prince

#star struck chronicles #captain pelgrad #the martian prince #my art

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elisetales reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: OMFG this is soooo pretty! I’m so excited to see…  
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maddogcain said: gaaaaaaaaay  
asktastytahno said: WOW! omg yesssss  
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the-nerd-word reblogged this from royalphantom and added: ouilkyfjtdfsd I LOVE THIS!  
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myshonok-deimos: Just some sketches I did yesterday instead of my actual homework

#my art #star struck chronicles #the martian prince #captain pelgrad #felix phillips

glassstrawberries likes this  
starstruckwonder said: is the Prince wearing a hoodie?! So presh I can’t  
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the-nerd-word said: pppffffttttt cute  
kurenai-tenka likes this

 

 

starstruckwonder asked you: What do you think of Felix/the Prince?

myshonok-deimos: I don’t see them as being anything more than friends to be honest. I did some sketches a while back of them together but, I don’t know, anymore I just see Pelgrad and the Prince so much more easily. I think that Felix’s playful energy and flippant sarcasm is better suited to a friendship/support role. I don’t see him taking the Prince seriously enough. Someone with his kind of traumatic past and angst needs someone more like Pel, who can really care take of him and be the strength that he needs. I see Felix as being too superficial for any kind of lasting relationship with the Prince.

#star struck chronicles #felix phillips #the martian prince #my dumb headcanon

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elisetales said: so many OTP feels right now  
felixity likes this  
felixity said: We will forever agree to disagree

 

 

myshonok-deimos <=> turn-0f-mind:

| turn-0f-mind: Chapter 14 of Ghosts of Mars (finally! penultimate chapter!) Sorry for the delay, midterms kicked my ass

I am so excited that I scared my cat up on to the refrigerator with my undignified shrieking – and what do you mean the end is near?! Someone hold me, I can’t.

#sadfeels #so many feels #drowning in feels

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starstruckwonder reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: omfg your cat sounds so adorable!  
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kurenai-tenka reblogged this from turn-0f-mind and added: I'm going to run out of gifs soon!

 

 

Anonymous asked: Do you have any pictures of your cat?

myshonok-deimos:  She’s not very photogenic and hates the camera. I had to wait until she was napping on a pile of sketchbooks.

#gpoy #omg when did my room get this messy #ignore the clutter #I am a photoninja

elisetales reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: KITTY! Oh she is soooo cute… and your room…  
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glassstrawberries said: your cat is so adorable  
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maddogcain said: is that my shirt?  
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myshonok-deimos: Finished the Pelgrad/Prince piece, but I don’t know if I’m entirely happy with the way Pel’s left eye looks. Hmm. (Oh, slightly NSFW)

#star struck chronicles #captain pelgrad #the martian prince #my art

asktastytahno likes this  
turn-0f-mind reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: ughhhh so perfect HOW DO YOU ART?!  
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ships-that-never-sink reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: <3!  
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elisetales reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: forever in love with the way you draw these two  
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the-nerd-word reblogged this from myshonok-deimos an added: AAAHHHHHHH  
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myshonok-deimos:

Read More -->

#my life #text post spam #why did I think graduate school was a good idea? #go to bed deimos you’re drunk

glassstrawberries likes this  
starstruckwonder said: aww bb you’ll be fine! We believe in you!  
the-nerd-word said: punch it in the face  
kurenai-tenka said: <3 

 

 

myshonok-deimos: Among the Ruins of Home (watercolor)

#shitty scanner is shitty #my art #the martian prince #star struck chronicles

asktasytahno likes this  
turn-0f-mind said: OMG PERFECT this is sooo sssaaaaaaaaaddd  
starstruckwonder reblogged this from myshonok-deimos  
elisetales reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: I’m about to cry this is so beautiful  
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royalphantom reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: wwoooooooaaaahh!  
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Anonymous asked you:  Do you ever take commissions? Your art is really great!

myshonok-deimos: The horrible conundrum of being in graduate school is that I’m both desperate for money (a true starving artist!) and devoid of time. I’m not really taking commissions at this time because I’d feel bad about never being able to complete them. I would feel bad about selling fanart of something that’s copyrighted, but Louis Grenarde died, what, ten years ago? And as much as we’d all loooooove to see that Star Struck Chronicles live-action movie they keep promising us, I highly doubt it’ll happen anytime soon. But thank you for the compliment! I’m glad you like my art.

#my art #anonymous

felixity said: this amazingly wasn’t my ask despite how much I’ve tried to bribe you to draw felix/the prince  
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myshonok-deimos <=> turn-0f-mind

| turn-0f-mind: Chapter 15 of Ghosts of Mars (final chapter!)

ohhhmmyyyyggoddd I made the mistake of reading this on my phone at Starbucks and now I am literally sobbing in the bathroom like a total crazy person.

#all my tears take them #buckets of feels #I have lost all ability to can #my heart is breaking

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kurenai-tenka reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: the saddest of gifs!  
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myshonok-deimos: This is how I feel about Ghosts of Mars ending after eight months of glorious fic.

#my art #turn-0f-mind #the martian prince #captain pelgrad #I will never not ship these two

elisetales likes this  
elisetales said: uuggghhh my feels!  
royalphantom reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: well now I have to read this  
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turn-0f-mind reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: *chu* you are the best deimos!  
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Hello! Sorry for the random fanmail, but I wanted to say that I’m a big fan of your work. You have such passion when you draw the scenes on Mars especially. I was the anon who asked about commissions. It’s too bad you’re so busy. Oh, but you shouldn’t feel bad about being busy or anything. Graduate school must be hard I imagine. Are you studying art, I guess? I’m not artistic myself.  
\- practically-praxis

 

 

Hello as well. Thank you for the compliment. I’m glad you like my art. The Prince of Mars is my favorite character of anything pretty much ever. Yeah, I’m really busy with school right now and wouldn’t feel comfortable taking people’s money for something I just do for fun anyway. I’m in my first year of graduate school and I have no idea why I ever thought this was a good idea to be honest.  
-myshonok-deimos

 

 

Hello again! Then we’re well-matched because I’ve always been partial to Captain Pelgrad myself, but there’s honestly not many characters I dislike from the series (the books I mean. I don’t there’s anyone who is honestly a fan of Kit Carson from the made-for-TV movie – apologies in advance if you are). I’m sure you’ll do great in school! Graduate school for art, right? You’re so talented, I can’t imagine what your actual art looks like. Do you ever post any of it?  
\- practically-praxis

 

 

Oh, yeah, Pel’s great too! I love him just as much, but the Prince is my favorite character. I like to draw them both, obviously. And, ahahaha, I guess you’re right about Kit Carson. I’ve only seen the movie in pieces online and those gif sets that pop up every so often. I don’t think there’s a full stream or torrent of it anywhere, which is a shame, because I’ve always wanted to see the Martian sequence. I heard the animation for it was half the budget. As for my original art (like the stuff I do for school) I don’t really post it on here because, I don’t know, it seems rather boring unless I sketch Pel/Pri all over the margins. Which is usually what happens at odd hours after midnight when I can’t sleep and should be finishing projects – like right now, for example.  
\- myshonok-deimos

 

 

myshonok-deimos: Ignore my lecture notes and focus on the cute

#my art #my dumb sketches #why am I still awake at 3am?

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I do like how you draw the captain, but then again I just like the way you draw everyone. And, really, you’ve never seen the TV movie? I taped it when they re-aired it back in the 90s. I keep having to lug my VCR around every time I move just so I have a means to watch it. When did you get into the books? My dad had the full set from when they first came out – the ones with the hokey 70s illustrations? Anyway I kind of grew up reading them, but I think the resurgence in interest is really great. I think eventually we’ll get that live-action movie with enough perseverance! Anyway it’s early in the morning here, hopefully you’ve gotten both studying and sleeping accomplished. :)  
\- practically-praxis

 

 

Oh. My. GOD. You have a copy on VHS?! asdfghj; I am seething with jealousy! Aha, then again, I don’t have a VCR. I admire your dedication. I only started reading them when I was in college. My roommate freshman year owned the first three books  -- in the twentieth anniversary release editions, with the redrawn illustrations. I’m honestly conflicted over which set of illustrations I like better, but have you ever seen the French versions? They are these gorgeous watercolors, and the Prince is drawn with such delicacy but still so strong, and the line of his nose is so presh. Oh, oh, and the Martian landscapes, when they revisit the ruins of the Red Palace, I just want to rub my face all over the pages – ugh, sorry, I did get a little sleep last night/this morning but mostly I’m subsiding on coffee and adrenaline at this point. I’m sitting in the library cafe between classes. Once I turn in my portfolio I am DONE at least until after Fall Break. I have a Halloween piece I plan on putting together but I still need a costume idea for Pel…  
\- myshonok-deimos

 

 

I may have just outed myself as being older than digital, but I guess that’s the great thing about the SSC fandom in that everyone comes into it at different ages. Although my dad would certainly roll over in his grave if he saw some of the Pel/Pri art you draw! Oh, not that’s a bad thing, my dad was just – well a dad! I’m sure you understand. Oh, and, I’m a guy. Hope that doesn’t weird you out or anything, I know the fandom is mostly girls. Or ladies, I should say – I know turn-0f-mind is married. I have not seen any of the international editions, but I just found the photoset of the French ones that you reblogged a while back and – wow! You’re right, they’re certainly beautiful looking. I’ve never thought to see what the international editions look like. And for Halloween – you should have Pel go as a Martian nobleman! lol well okay this is why I’m not an artist, that’s the only idea I could come up with. Have fun on your break, you deserve it! Any plans otherwise?  
\- practically-praxis

 

 

My only other plan is to get drunk and clean my apartment. Maybe not in that order, unless I make it a drinking game where after each cleaning chore I take a shot. I better start with the more complicated chores and work my way down to safe, basic things like folding laundry. Oh, and I promised a friend of mine I’d help him break into this abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town and steal some fire exit signs. Oh, uh, I’ve gotten an early start on the whole ‘get drunk and clean my apartment’ endeavor (you should see my fridge – spotless! Also empty unless you count the sixer of hard lemonade) so honestly that kind of minor pillaging makes entirely more sense when you spend all your time around artists. He does big 3D installation pieces. I’m not just a random hooligan (anymore, haha) You should check out the Russian illustrations, seriously. They are just gorgeous, utterly dark and sinister. Pri looks positively ethereal and Pel is just dead gothic sexy in a way that’s soooo hot I can’t stand it. (Ahaha, great, now I’m drunk AND horny with nothing to do except cleeeeeeaaaaannn ugh I need a boyfriend) Although they switched artists for the fifth book, so it’s slightly different. I’ve always always always wanted to own them. Like, the French ones are so pretty and cute and all, but I think those are my favorites. And I actually like your idea for Pel’s costume. The Prince could be giving him sexy eyes about it. Rooowwwwrrrr (idk are those sexy eye noises? Use your imagination) Oh and I’m pretty sure the entire fandom thinks I’m a girl, but, I’m not – I’m a boy.  
\- myshonok-deimos

 

 

myshonok-deimos:

Read More -->

#my life #text post spam #to be filed under do you want cheese with your whine? #go to bed deimos you’re drunk

glassstrawberries likes this  
turn-0f-mind said: awww gurrrrl don’t even worry about boys, they’re dumb! You don’t need one. Uh, don’t tell hubs I said that, haha! You little lush – GO TO BED!  
starstruckwonder said: pffft you are so cute! You’ll find someone eventually  
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myshonok-deimos <=> fer-souris:  звезда поразила хроники

#praxis look i foumd them for youuuuu #teh terrible things i would do to pel

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fuckyeahrussianshit reblogged this from maddogcain  
turn-0f-mind said: these are so cool!  
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maddogcain reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: oхуительно!  
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myshonok-deimos: re-reading The Dunes of Saturn for the millionth time and…

Read More -->

#my dumb headcanon #text post spam #the martian prince #all my tears take them

starstruckwonder said: ugh, so perfect, I agree with everything  
elisetales likes this  
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ships-that-never-sink reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: I will never get over the scene between him and the captain after coming back from…  
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myshonok-deimos: Look I made an art (Happy Halloween everyone!)

#star struck chronicles #captain pelgrad #the martian prince #felix phillips #olivera #thom reed #lt seberu #kit carson #halloween #my art

glassstrawberries likes this  
turn-0f-mind reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: omfg kit carson why do you hate us  
elisetales likes this  
elisetales rebogged this from myshonok-deimos  
starstruckwonder said: PFFFFTTTT KIT CARSON?!  
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the-nerd-word reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: why are you trolling me with kit carson … we were bros but I see… no this is great!  
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myshonok-deimos <=> starstruckwonder

| starstruckwonder: 8 views of Mars

#my homeworld #spaaaaace

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practically-praxis answered you:  
( _Hey, I didn’t weird you out or anything with my last message, did I? I hate that you can’t see fanmail after you’ve sent it. I vaguely recall answering you when I was drunk last weekend but, uh, can’t remember what I sent… Hope I didn’t say anything weird. Sorry. – myshonok-deimos_ )

Oh, no! Sorry that I haven’t replied. I just got unexpectently busy and, uh, went to the hospital and stuff. I’ll send my other reply ASAP. You didn’t say anything weird at all. I could barely even tell you’d been drinking :)

 

 

Hi Deimos! Sorry for the late reply. I saw your finished Halloween drawing – looks great! Pel looks great in his martian gear, and the Prince looks pretty interested! (Not that I blame him, although I think the Prince’s doublet is just about the cutest thing) I can’t believe you put Kit Carson in as a ghost. I guess he’s dead from fandom hate? Haha! Did you end up successful in your mission to pilfer/loot abandoned safety signs into art? Hopefully you’re not reading this from jail (joking!) Did you do anything fun for Halloween? I took my sister’s kids trick-or-treating around her neighborhood so she could stay home and pass out candy. Nothing very exciting I guess. I saw the Russian illustrations that you reblogged for me, you’re right that they’re so much darker in tone than the US ones, or at least the ones in my versions. I’ve begun re-reading the whole series from the beginning (again).  I see you’re on fourth book already, or did you just start there at random? And the fanmail system isn’t that great of a way to message, you’re right, sorry again this is such a late reply.  
\- practically-praxis

 

 

Well don’t apologize for being in the hospital, shit, that sounds pretty awful? Or is it not? I hope you’re all right, in either case. That’s a legitimate excuse for being late on a reply. I’m glad you liked the Halloween art. It’s so popular, 200 notes so far! I didn’t even know there were that many people who’d read SSC to be honest, wow. I’m not sure when I’ll get around to another fanart besides silly sketches since I just got slammed to the wall in actual art assignments. I have to do an acrylic portrait of myself, that’s the worst, I’d try faking it but I guess my professor probably knows what I look like by now. Stupid face. And I only added Kit Carson because we’d been talking about the made-for-TV movie, not going to lie, haha. Did you dress up for Halloween? I was a mouse. I went to a party, got trashed, pretty sure I lost my ears somewhere. Guess that can be considered a trick and a treat all in one. Your sister has a kid? That’s cool. Is she younger or older than you? Your sister, I mean. Uh, okay, running to class now. Bye  
\- myshonok-deimos

 

 

Oh, I’m fine, it was just an accident at work. I’m glad the Halloween one was so popular, you really did a great job on it! Take your time and focus on school if you need to, don’t worry about the fandom. A self-portrait? I bet it’ll look great! I wish I could see when you finish it. I did dress up for Halloween, nothing elaborate. I went as a pirate, yarrr! Figured I might as well the best of it… Sounds like you had an exciting night if you lost your ears. I hope a cat didn’t take them or anything. I’m actually the oldest of five children, all girls except me, but the sister with the kid is the same age as me, we’re twins. Not identical, obviously. So I guess that makes her 25 since that’s how old I am :) Not too old I hope? Ah, well -- have fun in class (or if not fun, at least learn a lot!)  
\- practically-praxis

 

 

That’s so cool you have a twin and, wow, that’s a lot of sisters. I’m an only child, I guess, unless you count some stepsiblings but, I don’t know, never really met them so I don’t think it counts. And, wow, 25, okay I feel dumb I don’t know why but I thought for a minute you were going to be a lot older than me. (And not because you have the TV movie on VHS/still own a VCR, although that’s a contributing factor) I’m 23, so, yay. I was thinking since we both dislike the fanmail system, why don’t you just email me? I’m just myshonok-deimos at umail. If you want, that is. I’m going to be pulling an allnight at the studio tonight so if you don’t hear from me right away that’s why. Or you might hear too much from me, if you’re still around to email once it hits 2am. I always do my worst text post spamming then… Uh, okay, bye!  
\- myshonok-deimos


	2. Chapter 2

A harsh rapping came from the corner window of the studio, and Aleks knew who it was even without looking up to see Sacha’s middle finger pressed up against the glass. He set aside the palette knife before going over to see the rest of Sacha, half-hanging out of the tall elm that grew alongside the arts building. Aleks hurried fumbled the window lock. He barely got it started when Sacha shoved the window the rest of the way clear.

“Fucking freezing,” said Sacha. The blustering November air leaking into the studio agreed with his announcement. Aleks stepped back enough to let his friend drop off the sill and into the room.

 “Can’t believe they lock the doors after midnight.” Sacha shucked his leather jacket up around his neck in an attempt to huddle warmth. Together he and Alek wedged the window shut once more.

Aleks frowned at Sacha and then glanced back to where his phone sat on the table next to his canvas, safely clear of the paints to avoid a mess, but still near at hand. He would have heard had Sacha tried to call.

“Battery’s dead,” Sacha explained. He held up his blank-screened phone. “You have your charger, right?”

Aleks nodded and pointed at his backpack. As Sacha hunted up the charger, Aleks tapped his phone briefly to light up the display. No new messages, and it was late enough now that he probably wouldn’t get any. He returned to his work, slathering the wet acrylic around with the knife on the flat surface of the palatte.

Charger successfully found, Sacha set it into the socket and hooked his phone up to it. For the next few minutes he fiddled at the screen, checking his messages no doubt, probably seeing the one from Aleks asking for a latte, pretty please. “Ha, sorry,” said Sacha, sounding not the least bit sorry about it.

Aleks shrugged. It wasn’t important, even the late-night student cafe in the union would be closed by now. He’d sent the text hours ago and honestly hadn’t expected much to come of it. He idly wondered where Sacha had been for so long to let his phone battery drain out completely. Then again, knowing Sacha, Aleks was wondering a rather stupid sort of thing.

Sacha set his phone aside to charge and came over to inspect the mostly-blank canvas. Aleks had down the rough lines in pencil and was just beginning to throw the background together with paint. “Pfft.” Sacha touched at the sketched wisps of bangs. “Is this supposed to be you?”

Aleks nodded and shifted a slight glare up at his friend, daring him to comment.

Shoulders rolling away the perceived slight, Sacha tapped the blank section of canvas again. “Bullshit kind of assignment, right?” He barely looked to catch Aleks’ agreeable nod before drifting through the studio to where some metallurgy equipment lay. Some underclassmen from jewelry metal had been up working with Aleks for a while but left some hours ago for either coffee or cigarettes, probably both.

Sacha jerked open some supply drawers and began pulling out bits of wire and small clasps. Aleks pretending like he didn’t notice the pilfering, as always on nights when Sacha snuck into the studio to visit him. Sacha knew better than to mess with anything anyone was actively using for a project, so, it was fine. Just the unwitting and continual tax the college paid for having booted Sacha out on a disciplinary charge three years ago; Aleks felt both apathetic and sympathetic enough about it to point Sacha toward a blue plastic tub under the table.

“Oh, fuck yeah,” said Sacha. He knelt at the tub, dragging his hand through a bounty of copper coils. “Anyone using these?”

Aleks shook his head and stepped back from the canvas to survey the color mixture so far. Loathed as he felt about this project, he wanted to at least make a pleasing composition, even if the subject matter was a crock of shit.

The warped metal of the studio door popped open with a jolting protest. Aleks swiveled around to look as one of the jewelry metal students came in holding a thermos, pink-cheeked from the cold and the effort of hiking upstairs in her heavy but fashionable snow boots. She stopped at the sight of Aleks, still working, and Sacha, pawing through the supply tub.

“Hello,” she offered.

Sacha rose to his feet and nudged the tub back under the table. Ignoring the girl, he walked back over to Aleks and dumped fistfuls of copper into the open backpack. “Carry these for me, will you?”

Aleks shrugged slightly.

Sacha hoisted himself on to the counter next to his phone. His combat boots kicked against the metal with a resounding hollow clang, and he kept swinging them into the cabinets below with idle annoyance. Aleks snapped a look at his friend but said nothing.

The girl, however, seated herself back at the worktable and frowned. “Do you mind?” she asked.

“Nope,” said Sacha. He favored her with a wolfish grin, picked up his phone, and begun to type a text message while still kicking at the cabinets.

For a while that seemed like the end of it, Sacha texting, Aleks painting, the girl soldering at the worktable. Eventually she set down her work with another disgusted sound and came over to investigate. “Hey. Your name’s Aleks, right? Who’s your friend?”

Shoulders hunched against her presence, Aleks kept his eyes on his project, his hands busy over the paints.

Sacha’s head came up off his phone quickly, and he slid from the cabinets with a thump of boot and creak of leather. He tossed a hand through his scraggly black hair, so that the teal highlights streaking his bangs flashed under the bright studio lights. “Mind your own fucking business,” he sneered.

The girl shot back, “I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to him.”

“Well, he’s not talking to you, so fuck off.” Sacha turned and snagged his phone and the charger both. Separating them, he stuffed the charger back into Aleks’ backpack. He snapped a harsh enough glare at the girl that she sulked back over to the worktable and bent back over her work with a soft, huffy sigh.

Tension slid from his shoulders as Aleks glanced first toward the girl and then at his friend.

Sacha plucked a granola bar – Aleks’ intended breakfast – out of the backpack. “All right, kiddo, see you later.”

Aleks nodded absently, not minding the thievery of his food anymore than he minded anything else. He glanced at the girl again, worried she might try to approach him again with Sacha’s departure, but she stayed bent over her work with the earnestness of it being due later that day. Aleks returned his canvas with the same eagerness, even though his was nowhere near as urgent – acrylic was not a medium to be attempted the night before.

The girl either finished or bailed sometime just before sunrise, when Aleks began putting away his things and giving the work area a modest cleaning. Thanks to Sacha’s coils he was now responsible for carrying home, his backpack pulled heavily at his shoulders as Aleks trudged down the stairs out of the studio. He kept an idle hand on the rail, phone in his face to check his blog. Fourteen new notes on the Halloween art, but no new asks or fanmails, no new emails – Aleks tried not to feel disappointed.

He tried equally not to feel overly excited when, later, back at his apartment and collapsed face-first in bed, his phone trilled out the notification for a new email to his myshonok-deimos account, the one he kept around solely for his blog. A new email from Praxis, which he grabbed up his phone to read at once. 


	3. Chapter 3

subject: Good Morning!                                                                                                         
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

Hello! I’m writing this just quick before I go to work. I hope you had a productive night in the studio but hopefully not a long night or anything, gets lots of rest! My sister teases me that I’m something of an old man and have been since I was in high school, haha, so I don’t blame you for thinking I was older… I guess? Honestly not sure if that’s a compliment or not, but I’ll take it as one. :) It certainly is a lot of sisters but don’t let them hear you say that, or rather, don’t tell them I said that.  
Well, okay, I guess that’s all I can think of to say for the moment. Do you have class today? Oh, I reblogged something I think you might like, so, check it out!  
\- Praxis

 

 

myshokok-deimos <=> practically-praxis  
| fer-souris:  России телевизионной рекламы

Okay this is really, really cool! Whoever they got to do Pel’s voice is, wow! Like I’m not sure I can handle myself listening to this. How old is this, do you think? I’m guess older than digital ;)

#AAHHHHH #this is so cool #deimos is derp

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starstruckwonder reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: I wish I understood Russian!  
maddogcain said: это странно  
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myshonok-deimos reblogged this from practically-praxis and added: Okay this is really, really cool! Whoever… old is this, do you think? …  
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subject: re: Good Morning!                                                                                                    
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Good afternoon! I read your email when I got in this morning but decided to take your advice and sleep first before replying. How was work? No more accidents, I hope. Whatever you do sounds just as dangerous as being an art student. I don’t think I ever answered you on the planned trespassing/looting over Fall break. It went fine, by the way, I didn’t end up in jail or anything. My friend actually stepped on a nail – it stuck the board right to his boot! Fortunately it didn’t go through into his skin or anything, that would have been awful. I feel bad that I kind of laughed a little… It was kind of funny (ugh, don’t judge me!) Oh, and, as for your other question about re-reading the series – I just picked up Dunes at random. I wanted to look up one of the illustrations for a reference and, well, there’s that Pel/Pri scene in chapter 12 that I wanted to glance at… two hours later…   
I wasn’t trying to say you that you sound old or anything! Or that, idk, 25 is a bad age, or if you were older that’d be bad. asdfgfhgjkl clearly I still need more sleep, or at least coffee. Ahaha. Um, anyway. I saw the Russian TV commercial you reblogged – that is so cool! I don’t know if you understood any of it or not (I mean, probably not?) Anyway it was really awesome and kind of trashy/low-budget which I have a major soft-spot for, the scratchier quality the better (does that make me a hipster? I hope not! Does hoping I’m not a hipster make me a hipster??) Ummm okay, I’m out of stuff to ramble about. I’m really just procrastinating a paper I need to write for art history. Like I didn’t learn enough about people better and more successful than me in my undergrad… Heh!  
~ Deimos

 

 

myshonok-deimos: Withdrawal is beginning to set in now that Ghosts of Mars is truly finished… The only new story I’ve been able to find this Olivera/Pelgrad and, uh, yeeeeeah. Not a ship I sail.

#I mean not that there’s anything wrong with it #except by that I mean everything #oh snap #sassy deimos #sassy deimos is a tag I need to use more often

turn-0f-mind said: Are you ready for my epic Pelgrad/Kit Carson smutfest? Just for you bb  
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felixity said: this winter break…. Felix/the Prince everywhere!  
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elisetales said: I miss theeeemmmm  
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myshonok-deimos:

turn-0f-mind replied to your post: _Withdrawal is beginning to set in now that Ghosts…_  
| Are you ready for my epic Pelgrad/Kit Carson smutfest? Just for you bb  
felixity replied to your  post: _Withdrawal is beginning to set in now that Ghosts…_  
| this winter break…. Felix/the Prince everywhere!  
  
Why are you trolling me like this? Just look at what you’re doing to the Prince’s delicate sensibilities!

#my art #the martian prince #I hate all of you #chibify my rage #sassy deimos

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royalphantom reblogged this from starstruckwonder and added: pfft! So cute!  
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the-nerd-word said: why would you joke about Kit Carson. WHY.  
starstruckwonder reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: bwaaahaha! This is great!

 

 

subject: re: Good Morning!                                                                                                    
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

We’re back to it being morning again, I see. Work was fine, no more accidents, I’m being safe I promise. You sound like my sister – or, I guess in this case, brother? Hmmm okay perhaps not. I just woke up. Coffee seems like a good idea.  Your poor friend but, oh, that is a rather funny story I suppose! I understand what you mean about ages, it’s so hard to tell a lot of the time when interacting with people online. I’m kind of quiet in the fandom, I guess because I don’t want out myself as “the guy” or anything. You understand, I’m sure.  
I know what you mean about picking up one of the books at random and getting sucked in. I don’t have a lot of time to read, I’ve just barely gotten into first book still. I’m just getting to the point where the comet clips the tail end of the ship. The Prince gets introduced next chapter! I’m having a hard time un-seeing some of your art of him, though. I think it’d be great to a have a version of the book illustrated by you! Oh, and I don’t understand a word of Russian. I just thought of you because you mentioned liking the illustrations. Did you understand what they were saying?  
Good luck on your paper!  
-Praxis

 

 

myshonok-deimos: WIP Felix Phillips/The Prince, for felixity (plus bonus lazy cat sleeping)

#my art #felix phillips #star struck chronicles #don’t say I never did anything nice for you #I am a photoninja

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commandervimescigar reblogged this from starstruckwonder and added: so fab! I love your  … in the background!  
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felixity reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: dying death dying help so much love right now I just …. ILU ILU ILU  
felixity said: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
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subject: re: Good Morning!                                                                                                    
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com> 

Good evening! I, uh, this is rather perplexing to admit, but, when did I admit to being a boy? Or did you just figure it out? I only mention it because I’ve always just let the fandom assume I’m a girl. It seems a bit weird to be drawing all this smutty slash art as a guy… But I guess you don’t mind? Well, I mean, I guess if you ship them as well? Or you just like my non-slash art? Uh, this is a rather strange thing to be asking I guess, sorry! Don’t feel like you have to respond.  
Um, here, yeah, I do understand Russian, so, this is my best translation for you:  
(Voice Over) “Now available, fantastic space chronicles of a brave captain and his loyal crew – struck down by the stars and stranded in a hostile oasis*!” (the actual word here is paradise, but, like, not quite? Translating this is harder than I thought)  
(Pel’s voice) “When you fear things are dark* just remember the other side of the Moon” (I think this is actually ‘in shadow’ but again I don’t think that’s what they wanted to convey… I had to look up the actual line from the book they’re paraphrasing)  
(V.O.) “They face impossible odds!” (he is like really enthusiastic about the crew nearly dying… just saying)  
(Olivera’s voice) “Captain, our life support systems are failing!”  
(V.O.) “And encounter strange allies” (strange or mysterious, more like … enigmatic?)  
(The Prince’s voice) “All have gone, but I remain” (I don’t know if I can really translate this, but that’s basically what he’s saying… blublub Pri-feels!)  
And then the rest is just really fast information on release dates and stuff that I won’t both translating because unless you have a time machine, you’re not making it to the book signing. I guess they had the illustrator in Moscow for it… ah man. Now I need to build a time machine!  
Well, um, okay. Bye!  
~ Deimos

 

 

myshonok-deimos:

Read More -->

#my life #deimos is derp #I am moving to mars now okay

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felixiity said: aww cheer up! get that sassy deimos tag back out again!

 

 

turn-0f-mind asked you:  
Hey, is everything all right? Sorry you’re having a rough day! *chu chu* Just think, not much longer until Winter Break! I’ll write you that Pel/Pri snowball fight one-shot I’ve been promising forever just as soon as I can (arrrgghh why did I ever thinking going back to school was a good idea!?) We can commiserate over school stuff together <3

 

 

Are you sure you want to delete this post?  
[Cancel]  --> [Yes]

 

 

myshonok-deimos: dumb pictures of my cat!

#because reasons #this is not the post you’re looking for #gpoy

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subject: re: Good Morning!                                                                                                    
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

Deimos, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable with my comments. Your secret is safe with me. You told me in that fanmail when you were cleaning your apartment (I’ve pasted it below. It was still in my Inbox) But I wouldn’t tell anyone. I mean, I haven’t told anyone. We can mutually assume female identities to better assimilate into the fandom :) Although I think you’d be surprised how much people wouldn’t care if you told them you were a boy instead of a girl. And as for your art – yes, I like all of it, even the smutty stuff. I hope that’s all right?  
Thanks for the translation! You know I actually have some experience in engineering – maybe I’ll try to make us both a time machine so we can attend that book signing ;)  
\- Praxis

 


	4. Chapter 4

Aleks lay in his bed staring at the ceiling with his phone clutched to his chest in both hands. From the kitchen came the distinctive sound of Tatiana eating something in the sink. He could hear her little paws clattering around the dishes to get her fat face lapped into something, probably the half-eaten bowl of cereal. He ought to get up and shoo her away, or at least start clapping in the vain hope of scaring her off without moving from the bed.

He pulled his hands off his chest long enough to stare at his phone, at the empty reply he still needed to send. Aleks set his phone down and started to clap, loud and quick, until he heard the cat scurrying to the floor. Before long she appeared at the foot of the bed to perch like a gargoyle on the corner of the mattress. Her tongue moved over her lips as if to get rid of the evidence or maybe deny she was the one just eating out of the sink.

Aleks nudged at her with his foot, smiling as he did so. Eventually she grew tired of his toe against her pudgy round belly and began to pick a delicate path over the rumpled covers toward his face. Once she got close enough, Aleks ran his hand across the dense blue-grey gloss of her fur.

Her face reached his, black wet nose poking into his cheek and nose before she arched her back, turned a bit, submitted to being petted. Aleks rolled on his side to better get his hand over her, ruffling her soft fur first one way and then the other.

Feeling this anxious and stupid over something this petty and stupid – yeah, Aleks knew he was being ridiculous, but he’d felt pretty miserable ever since realizing he’d good as outed himself via a stupid drunk fanmail. Complaining about wanting a boyfriend on his blog seemed so much more valid when everyone assumed he was a girl – they were all girls, squealing over two guys together, and he just fed right into that, drawing his silly stupid worthless fanart as if he was just another silly stupid worthless—

Tatiana meowed a loud protest as he brought his palm across her spine a bit too frantic. He patted at her with apology and then made an effort to dig the small curve of his nails under her collar, up against the dense fur of her ruff. It made her purr, everything forgiven. Cats were simple like that.

His phone beeped. Aleks brought it up to his face to check his messages.

 _Sacha_  
( what r u doing? )  
 _Me  
_ _( Homework )_

Because Aleks had learned in their friendship never tell Sacha that he was doing nothing on a Saturday night, even if that was the truth.

 _Sacha_  
( i need ur help w/a project )  
Me  
( Does it involve breaking and entering and/or trespassing? )  
 _Sacha_  
 _( not this time. u home? )_  
 _Me  
_ _( Yeah, it’s unlocked. Come on over. )_

Aleks lay there petting Tatiana until she tired of the attention and hopped down to the floor. He rolled upright and dug his laptop out of the bedding. Dragging it into his lap, Aleks flipped up the screen to check his blog. As if things may have changed between the last time he checked on his phone. He still owed Praxis a reply on their latest email chain but – Aleks closed the laptop again and set it aside.

It wasn’t like Sacha would care about the laundry scattered over the floor, but Aleks tossed it into the hamper anyway. He likewise dumped the half-eaten cereal into the sink and ran the dish scrubber around the bowl and spoon for a bit until they seemed passably clean. After a cursory rinse, Aleks set them into the overflowing wire rack to dry along with the rest of his dishes. Maybe he’d get drunk again and clean, write a stupid fanmail where he admitted to being a—

The thin walls easily let through the sound of Sacha’s boots against the steps leading up to the apartment. “Aleks!” The summons was punctuated by the rhythmic thud of his boot into the door. “Hurry the fuck up! My hands are full.”

No small amount of trepidation carried Aleks across the tiny confines of his efficiency to the flimsy door. Tatiana followed, curious as always, as Aleks opened the door to reveal Sacha with his arms full of paper grocery bags. Aleks hastily reached to take the middle of the trio, which seemed the most likely to bail on the precarious arrangement. Tell-tale round coldness pressed against the brown paper.

Sacha pushed the cat’s face out the way so she couldn’t make a run down the stairs. “Aleks, your fucking cat’s trying to escape again.”

Quickly he set down the bag and grabbed Tatiana, hoisting her eagerly twitching tail and swiveling ears away from potential adventure. Aleks leaned his hip into the door to wedge it shut before letting Tatiana drop to the floor. She immediately trotted over to investigate the grocery bag, her round face poking inside to look for food.

Sacha dropped the other two bags to the floor. One made the distinct shattering rattle of broken glass but, judging by Sacha’s expression, that was intentional. “Get away from there, chunky.” Sacha put his hand against the cat’s chest and pushed her back from the grocery bag, fingers lingering to scratch under her collar. “Cat’s a lush,” he told Aleks.

Aleks pulled the two six-packs of beer from the bag by the plastic rings. It left the glass bottle of vodka still in the bag, but Sacha claimed that for himself promptly enough. Judging by the lowered line of liquid, he’d already gotten started on it. He followed Aleks into the kitchen, or rather the small indent in the tiny apartment that served as a kitchen. “You still have that big hot glue gun, right? Not one those shitty old-lady after school craft guns, but, like, the Uzi of hot glue.”

Aleks nodded and set the beer into his fridge. Straightening, he pointed to the bed. Sacha set the vodka next to the sink before going over to the bed. He got on his knees and then dragged one of the flat plastic storage tubs out from underneath. The lid came free with a resounding pop that sent Tatiana up into the bookcase. A gaming controller toppled to the carpet under duress from the cat’s escape route.

As Sacha raided the tub for the glue gun, Aleks investigated the other two paper bags. Seemingly useless junk filled them both, which was a typical thing for Sacha to be carrying around collecting. Toward the top of one he found a smaller paper bag, the perfect size to have once held a bottle of vodka. The top of the bag was crumpled a bit to keep it closed. It proved to be the source of the broken-glass noise, as he discovered when he picked it up. Since Sacha hadn’t yet shooed him away for being curious, Aleks opened the bag and looked inside. A glittering array of mirror shards gleamed up at him.

“You only have two sticks?” Sacha held up the mostly-empty plastic bag containing the glue in question.

Aleks shrugged. If there were two in the bag then he only had two.

“Son of a bitch.” Sacha snapped the lid back over the tub and pushed it into place under the bed. “All right, let’s go. You’re still sober enough to drive right?”

Aleks nodded. He helped Sacha get everything up where Tatiana wouldn’t be a nuisance. She watched from her awkward perch inside the half-empty section of bookcase. He checked her food and water before leaving, just in case the night took any unexpected detours.

Sacha wrapped the thick red wool scarf back around his neck. “Get your coat, it might snow later.”

It took Aleks a minute to hunt his gloves up out of the clutter of his apartment. Tatiana must have dragged one under her cat bed, or maybe that was just where it ended up. Properly bundled, he grabbed his keys and followed Sacha down the stairs and outside. His car sat hulking in one corner of the tiny gravel lot between the ramshackle houses converted into apartments for desperately poor students. Tiny, shabby, cheap, and within easy walking distance to the campus, so Aleks didn’t mind the comparative squalor.

Once inside the car, he leaned over to unlock the passenger side for Sacha. “Fuck it’s cold,” announced Sacha. He thumbed open the vents. Sacha brought his shoulders up, hunched for warmth, fingerless motorcycle gloves extended toward vents as if to summon heat before Aleks even had a chance to get the key into the ignition.

Aleks maneuvered the car through the little dirt side road that was more like a suburban alley in order to reach the actual street. Obedient gusts of heat poured from the vents, the one good thing about his rusted up car – handy in winter, pain in the ass when summer rolled around. Sacha sank back into the seat with a satisfied sort of growl.

Away from the college, the sleepy town streets were dark and quiet. Aleks cut a yellow light maybe a bit more reckless than he should and instinctively checked his mirror for a police car. One time he had the bad luck to get pulled over with Sacha in the car. It wasn’t even for anything his fault, just a busted headlight, but the experience had been miserable enough that he was loathed to repeat it.

Safely at the store, Aleks circled around to get close to the doors and then parked. He waited for Sacha to get out before leaning over to the lock the door. He piled out as well, locking his own door behind him, and hurried after Sacha through the brightly lit lot. The automatic doors whisked open for them to provide a momentary blast of cold air before settling into the more neutral warmth of the actual store.

Sacha unwound his scarf as they walked. “You need anything?”

Aleks shook his head and began to tug off his gloves. He followed Sacha to the crafts department in the back of the store. It didn’t take long to find the craft sticks, but Sacha wandered around for a bit in the floral section hunting through plastic strands of ivy. He held up a length for Aleks’ inspection. “Does this look Grecian to you?”

Aleks frowned.

“Bacchanalian,” Sacha corrected.

Aleks shook his head. He found a different design and showed it to Sacha, who grunted approval before checking the price tag.

“Never mind,” said Sacha. He started for the registers, but Aleks caught his sleeve at the elbow. When faced against his friend’s annoyed look, Aleks pointed toward the grocery side of the store.

“I already asked if you needed anything,” grumbled Sacha. They trudged in that direction anyway so Aleks could get them a frozen pizza. It stopped Sacha’s complaining, at least. Glue sticks and pizza in hand, they started for the front of the store.

A feminine voice from behind stopped them. “Sacha!”

He turned around slow, eyebrows and guard equally up. “Oh, hey,” said Sacha. Apparently he recognized the person.

Only then did Aleks turn around as well. He flicked his gaze up quickly, taking in a girl with long dirty blonde hair tinted a streaky pinkish color and a freckled brunette boy with a nose ring. He recognized neither of them, except the girl did look vaguely familiar. Aleks couldn’t decide if he’d seen her before, or if she just looked like the type of person who’d know Sacha.

“I’m Christy, remember? We met at Jake’s Halloween party.” She shifted her weight around to best array the bulk of her coat against the curve of her chest.

“Yeah, whatever,” said Sacha. He was staring at the freckled kid with the nose ring, because, Aleks realized with some small alarm, the boy was looking at him. Aleks put his eyes to the floor and edged up nearer to Sacha.

“You were the mouse, right?” the boy said suddenly.

“Oh, yeah!” The girl, Christy, chimed in with unnecessary enthusiasm. “Your costume was really cute.”

Aleks could hear the boy’s sneakers against the linoleum. Getting closer. “Hey, I think your mouse ears are at our place.”

Sacha backed up into Aleks, bumping him out of the way with the movement. “Weren’t you dressed as some kids cartoon character?” There was no longer anything approaching friendliness in the way Sacha spoke. “Princess Butterball or something? Sucks your hair’s stuck that shit color for a while. Well. Nice seeing you.”

Sacha turned his back to them and shoved Aleks forward, palm pressed against his shoulder. Aleks gladly jumped into motion, cheeks and ears burning, eager to stride for the registers with quick, frantic steps. Sacha dogged right after him in a thundercloud, anger rolling off him thick enough that Aleks became nervous and flubbed getting the barcode across the self-checkout scanner. It meant the attendant had to come over and clear out the screen for him.

Aleks paid the glue sticks as well, scanned them through without letting Sacha protest about it. Not that he tried, naturally. Their two items bagged up and paid for, Aleks kept his head down for the march out to the car. It seemed twice as cold outside now as when they’d gone in, and Aleks chucked their purchases into the backseat before hastily unlocking the door for Sacha.

Sacha said nothing the entire drive back. Even though it was freezing outside, he cracked the window enough to smoke a cigarette, the dark glow of the cherry illuminating against the glass. Aleks watched from the corner of his eye until it became a liability, made him too distracted, because it was a mesmerizing sort of composition with the matte dark of Sacha’s hair and the gloss dark of his jacket sleeve, the bright blue of his highlights, the brilliant red of his scarf, the smoky wisps of hazy smoke.

“What?” snapped Sacha. So he’d caught the staring after all.

Aleks hastily fixed his gaze on the road and kept it there. He brought his shoulders into a shrug and then let them fall.

“Tch.” Sacha flicked the cigarette butt out of the window and rolled it up just as Aleks turned into the dirt alley once more.

Sacha was already halfway up the steps by the time Aleks got the shopping bags from the car, locked everything, and followed him up. He had to squeeze past Sacha on the landing to reach the door. The cat greeted him, twinning around his ankles and meowing at the crinkle of the plastic bags. Her ears and tail twitched toward the open door.

“No escaping,” Sacha said. He nudged at her with the toe of his boot as he came in and got the door shut behind him. The red scarf fell away from his neck in long unraveling lengths.

Aleks handed Sacha the bag with the craft sticks and then took the pizza into the kitchen. He set it into the freezer for later. From the other room came the sound of Sacha getting down his supplies from where they’d been stashed into the closet away from Tatiana’s curiosity. Now she meowed at him, poking her head into everything.

“Fat ass, there’s nothing edible in here.” Sacha ran his palm down her back, so that she flicked her tail and back up into his hand.

Aleks came to collect his cat. He sat cross-legged on the bed with her, watching as Sacha set a Styrofoam mannequin head on the carpet. Realizing what Sacha intended to do, Aleks found the ratty bed sheet he used a drop cloth and spread it out as a workspace near the open electric outlet. He had to unplug his phone charger to make room for the hot glue gun.

Sacha dumped the broken pieces of the mirror out on the sheet. “I can’t decide if I like these better dirty or if I should clean them,” he said. “Ah, fuck it. I’ll clean them first. Where’s your toothbrush?”

Wary of the sharp ends and his cat’s little pink paws, Aleks took her with him to get Sacha an empty and already paint-stained cottage cheese tub full of water and a toothbrush. Not his, of course, the one he used to clean Tatiana’s teeth, and he silently promised to get her a new one. While he busied around getting the supplies, Sacha fetched two beers. He set one on the nightstand for Aleks and sat on the floor to work with the other.

Holding them gingerly to avoid getting cut, Sacha started to clean his mirror fragments. Aleks lured Tatiana into staying clear of the project by scratching under her collar, so that she purred and eventually curled into a round, tubby nap beside him. He pulled his laptop over and started checking his email and blogroll, but there wasn’t anything much of interest. He still needed to write the reply to Praxis.

Feeling slightly sick to his stomach at the idea of it, Aleks set his laptop side and grabbed up the beer instead. He tapped his nails into the aluminum to get Sacha’s attention and then, once he had it, nodded toward the mannequin head.

“Oh, yeah.” Sacha showed him the ratty thing. “I’m thinking like a Saturnalia frat party, this guy in the center with all the broken mirror pieces shoved in. And save your can, too. I need them. We have to get through both six-packs tonight.”

Aleks put his eyebrows up but obediently tipped the can again, chugging until Sacha snorted a laugh. He didn’t quite manage the whole beer in one go, but it didn’t take long to accomplish it all the same. He got up to get a new one and offered to take Sacha’s on the way, forcing the other boy to chug quick or miss the opportunity.

“Just set them in the sink,” Sacha called. “I’ll need to clean them.”

Aleks did it for him, or at least a cursory effort. He grabbed two more beers, one for himself and one for Sacha. Since Sacha’s hands were full, Aleks set it beside him on the floor. Glancing at Tatiana still curled up asleep, Aleks settled himself next to Sacha for a closer look at the mirror pieces. The backing glass had a sickly green sort of sheen to it.

“Don’t cut yourself,” said Sacha. He slapped lightly at the back of Aleks’ hand. “Don’t you have more gay space dick adventures to draw or something?”

Aleks rolled his eyes and shoved his shoulder into Sacha’s. He picked up his beer and took it with him over to the television and beanbag chair in the corner by the door. He powered on the game system and fetched the controller from where Tatiana’s earlier escapades had sent it tumbling.

“Play that fighting game you’re shit at and drink whenever you lose,” said Sacha. “That’ll get us through this booze faster.”

Aleks ignored him and picked up his save file where he’d left off, stuck in the middle of a dungeon without the right key. He’d almost forgotten about that. After an hour of wandering around aimlessly smashing ceramic, Aleks gave up and fetched his laptop to look up the solution. They’d each moved on to a new beer, and Sacha was beginning to glue the fragments to the Styrofoam with great deal of swearing as he burned his fingertips. The cat watched from the bed, tail lashing, pupils massive in a way that suggested she might pounce.

Internet solution in hand, Aleks beat the dungeon and then went back to town to play the stupid archery mini-game, because at four beers in, that was where his concentration level hovered. He started when Sacha appeared at his shoulder, breath hot against his ear as he leaned over to observe.

“You suck at this,” said Sacha. The slurred words tickled.

Aleks offered him the controller.

“Didn’t say I’d be any better.” Sacha eased on his ankles and then sat heavily on his ass. He picked up Aleks’ mostly-full can and frowned. “Hurry up. I already did my six. You’re behind.”

Aleks glanced over to where the mirror shard-studded mannequin head sat drying on the bed sheet. He spotted Tatiana just nearby eyeing the thing with big eyes and flat ears, the hot glue gun still plugged in, and his brain put everything together very slowly.

The cat pounced as Aleks scrambled off the beanbag chair, crawled over Sacha, and smashed forward to snatch at her before she could create a small disaster. He created one instead, the back of his hand catching the metal tip of the heavy-duty glue gun. Aleks yelped, recoiling from the burn. Tatiana spooked all the way across the room, up into the bookcase again, tail whipping furiously into the air as she peered down at them with huge eyes.

Sacha set the toppled beer can upright. “Fucking cat!”

Tatiana set her ears down and lashed her tail at him in retaliation.

Aleks grabbed the cord on the glue gun and yanked it from the wall. A red triangular crescent glistened across the back of his hand with lingering threads from the heated nozzle. Aleks shook his hand to ease away the sting.

“Did you fucking burn yourself?” Sacha crawled over to investigate and brought the beer can along. “Here, give me your stupid hand” He set the metal with its cold condensation against the burn.

Aleks hissed in his breath.

“Yeah, I bet it fucking hurts. You have let the stupid cat burn her fat face on it. Teach her not to be so fucking fat.” Sacha sat close to Aleks and kept the can pressed against his hand.

Aleks shrugged slightly and glanced back at Sacha’s art project in progress.

“Tch. Fine, hold this.”

Aleks took the beer from Sacha and watched as his friend gingerly picked the sharp-edged mannequin head up from the floor. Aleks pointed, a bit awkward given the burden in his hands, so Sacha knew to set it on the very top of the refrigerator where the cat wouldn’t be able to get to it. He grabbed another beer on the way back over and a towel. Sacha threw the towel over the spilled puddle of beer next to the beanbag without actually cleaning at it.

Sacha came to stand over him, looming and a bit swayed. “Do you have a nasty fucking blister?”

Aleks held up his hand to show Sacha the little red mark.

“Get up, get out of the way.” Sacha kicked his boot into Aleks thigh, just hard enough to push him off the bed sheet and across the floor a ways. Sacha set the beer aside and knelt to gather up the supplies, cleaning the area and grumbling under his breath the whole time.

Aleks sipped his beer and watched.

Sacha threw some stuff away, wadded together the bed sheet to stick back in the closet where Aleks pulled it from. “Where’s this stupid plastic bowl thing go?” Sacha held it and the toothbrush up for Aleks’ inspection. He pointed at the sink, which was full of empty beer cans, so Sacha just chucked the tub and toothbrush on to the counter near the drying rack.

Everything finally put away, Sacha inspected the burn again, which really wasn’t much of a burn at that point, and declared Aleks an idiot once more. Aleks just shrugged and looked up at where Tatiana sat grooming herself as if nothing were the matter.

Sacha tried his hand at the archery mini-game and proved atrocious at it. He threw the controller down in disgust and bullied Aleks into finishing the last of the beer. Sacha staggered into the kitchen to start cleaning the cans, which involved a lot of cursing and wedging the toothbrush down into the open mouth.

Aleks watched from the bed, sprawled out on his stomach with his laptop idle at hand. He scrolled lazily and blearily through the pages of his blog, liking some new photosets, commenting on his friends’ posts, not doing anything productive like writing that email. A half-started essay still sat in his documents, too. He still had Sunday to finish it. Aleks closed his laptop and crawled around to set it on the nightstand. He draped heavily against the edge of the mattress with an arm dangling down to flick his fingers over Tatiana’s fur. She poked her wet nose into him.

“Don’t go to fucking sleep,” said Sacha.

Aleks lifted his feet up and then let them drop. It wasn’t that he was tired so much as everything was spinning.

“I’m serious. I still have to clean these stupid things for tomorrow.”

Aleks nodded against the pillow. He wasn’t sleepy, just tired, and very drunk. It wasn’t like he was really asleep later when Sacha rolled into bed. The action displaced the cat, who’d been curled next to him, and she shoved the heavy delicacy of her paws along Aleks’ back as she stalked away in search of a better sleeping place. Sacha punched at the extra pillow, boxing it up under his head, and the combine disturbance stirred Aleks enough to lift his mouth from the mattress where he still lay sprawled face-down and inelegantly drooling despite his mouth feeling dry.

Aleks made a soft sound, curious and drowsy, flopping from his belly to his back and finding Sacha in the way.

“Oh, so now you’re awake?” Sacha slurred it at him, thick and heavy. He shoved Aleks limbs off him. “Go back to sleep, lush.”

Aleks nodded somewhat and dragged his pillow under his cheek.

He wasn’t really awake when he heard Sacha snort a low laugh and say, “At least you know where yours ears went now.”

Because he’d gone sniveling to Sacha afterward, plastered and stumbling, the eyeliner-drawn whiskers messily smeared, hair a mess and ears to his costume missing. Sacha offered to go kick someone’s ass, got nothing but hiccupping drunk silence, and then finally just carried Aleks back to his place for the night. Not one of his better Halloweens or, really, better nights at all, but he’d been just embarrassed about it in the morning. Just like he was embarrassed now, little human ears burning, and Aleks fell asleep listening to the soft, almost harsh quiet snore of Sacha’s breath.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (PS - Thanks to Eli and Artemis for some ideas I'm shamelessly using and my continued gratitude to my real tumblr pals for volunteering to populate my fake tumblr)

 

myshonok-deimos <=> starstruckwonder  
starstruckwonder:  
|           felixity:   
|           | New Pel/Pri story up at the archive! “Until I Met You” by Tiberius  
|           | Warning for teeth-rotting AU sweetness (omfg the Prince runs a bakery! AAH)  
| Something within my chest just exploded. It may have been my cold, dead heart.

This was so perfect that I threw up

#no sorry that was just because I’m hung over #don’t judge me #I said don’t judge me #okay you should probably judge me #ssc fic rec

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myshonok-deimos: For maddogcain with love, “Gay Space Dick Adventures” (india ink and charcoal, to lend a sense of gravity to the subject)

#my art #not tagging this to the main SSC tag #my shame is your glory #the sassiest of deimos #I’m too hung over to feel remorse

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practically-praxis asked you:  
Seems like you had an exciting Saturday night! Hope you feel better soon :)

 

  

myshonok-deimos:

Read More -->

#my dumb headcanon #text post spam #why am I still awake at 3am? #ohgod so much homework

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subject: Thought of you!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

Just quick before I rush to work, have you seen the new German illustrations? For the 40th anniversary edition of Star Struck. I just saw a small blurb about it here: http://www.bookfeed.com/2012/11/14/news/science_fiction_series_gets_redrawn_by  
The only pictures they have are really small and just of the dust jacket though.  
\- Praxis

 

 

myshonok-deimos <=> kitteringx

| muntean:  
| Zeichnungen sind wunderschön

#star struck chronicles #shut up and take my money

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practically-praxis asked you:  
You found a photoset for it! I guess they’re only releasing the first book, not the full series. The style is so dramatic, it looks like something out of Brother Grimm almost. I bet you know the official art vocab word for it, though, not just etchy sketchy blocky printy style, which is what I would call it :)

 

  

myshonok-deimos <=> starstruckwonder

| starstruckwonder:  
| Guys guys guys guys GUYS LOOK THERE’S A SECOND CHAPTER  
|  “Until I Met You” by Tiberius, Chapter 2!  
What… what happened to the fluff?

#the sweetness has betrayed us #bring on the pain #I love this so much

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myshonok-deimos:

Read More -->

#my life #text post spam #go to bed deimos you’re drunk

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starstruckwonder reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: lesbian love colony, it’s the only solution. I’ll bring the corgis and you….  
practically-praxis said: feel better soon  
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Anonymous asked you:  I think you are great!

myshonok-deimos: Thank you, anon

#to be filed under do you want cheese with your whine? #sorry everyone

starstruckwonder said: you’re so cuuuute of course we’ll feed you cheese!  
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myshonok-deimos: Finished the Felix/The Prince piece for felixity. We can hang it on the wall of our love commune. 

#the bathroom wall that is #sassy deimos #star struck chronicles #felix phillips #the martian prince #my art

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elisetales said: aww! They look so happpyyy!  
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subject: Sorry  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com> 

Hi, Praxis. Sorry for not getting back to you earlier or answering any of your asks. I’ve been busy with school but, honestly, I guess I was also ignoring you. Well, avoiding you. Also I’m sorry in advance if this goes a little all over the place. I am so nervous about writing this that I’m stealing nips from the bottle of vodka my friend abandoned a while ago. I guess he’s probably forgotten about it by now though…. So, yeah, I did forget entirely about, oh, pretty much everything in that fanmail I sent. Sorry for being a drunk spazz on you. (And I should put the vodka down before I get so anxious I make the same mistake twice!)  
Anyway, I guess you’ve figured me out and, well, I guess it’s embarrassing? I’m not out or anything, you know? I mean I know it’s just the internet and it’s just a silly art blog that I keep, but I would seriously just roll over and over and over with utter humiliation if it came out to the fandom that I am a boy. Who draws boys. Together. And. You know. Complains about wanting a bf. So that makes me. Uh. Gay.  
asdfghjlkgjfgh  
WELL OKAY I SAID IT. Ahh. (aaahhhhhhh!) I should admit that I did not, in fact, put away the vodka when I said that I would. Okay so there you have it, I’ve said it, I’m sending this email before I just delete everything. If you need me I will be under my bed with the cat hiding from the world.  
~Deimos

 

 

subject: re: Sorry  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

Hi Deimos,  
I don’t think you should feel like you have anything to feel sorry about. Honestly I guess I was afraid that I’d offended you, or maybe made you upset, since I hadn’t heard back from you. I don’t want to be a nuisance either or someone who’s bothering you. I just like talking to you, so, thanks for emailing me back to explain things. And I don’t want you feeling anxious or nervous or, well, anything like that, okay? If it helps, I’m gay too. I’ve shipped Captain Pelgrad with the Martian Prince since I was, gosh, I don’t know – 13? 14? Probably before I even realized what I was doing, you know? It was always something that was there even if I didn’t know how to put it into words. I don’t think it’s anything that you should stress about. I mean clearly if I like all your art then we have to agree on that :) Oh, but, I don’t want you to think that I’m invalidating your concerns or anything either, so, thank you for being honest. Just, really, Deimos, please don’t feel like you have to apologize for anything or be nervous or, just, whatever else. Anytime you’d like to talk about it, I’m more than happy to. I’m pretty much out to everyone who actually knows me – my family, some of my friends. It isn’t like I carry around a sign or anything. Well, I guess this has turned into a rather serious discussion. I just want to say again that I don’t want you feeling bad or anything or that you have to apologize for being yourself. If you don’t want the fandom (or anyone IRL!) to know, I mean – it’s just what you’re comfortable with. Thanks for telling me. For trusting me, you know? Okay, well, I should turn the computer off and go to bed. Have a good night :)  
\- Praxis

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos:

#gpoy #my fat silly kitty #ignore the clutter #I am a photoninja

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subject: re: Sorry  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com> 

Well I read your email a bit bleary-eyed but not too grossly hung over in this morning (once I crawled out from under the bed where I’ve been hiding with my cat, of course) Sorry it’s taken me until just now to actually reply. I had class and then my friend snagged me out for dinner and… hijinks. Well. That makes more sense if you know my friend. Anyway I’m just now back at my apartment for the night and able to reply, so, that’s what I’m doing.  
Thanks for all your kindness – means a lot to me. Still embarrassing and everything but, hey, I’m like seventy-five percent sober for this email so, progress! I really appreciate all the supportive stuff and everything. Do you mind if I ask what your family thinks about it? Like does your dad know you ship Pel/Pri?? Okay, sorry, that’s the twenty-five percent drunk talking, but I just remember you mentioning your dad has all the books and everything, so. Well okay I guess that’s rude so don’t answer if you don’t want to. If it helps soften the blow, my dad doesn’t have anything to do with me, so, well. I guess that’s just depressing, good job Deimos.  
On an unrelated note of terrible conversation tangents, do you have any plans for Thanksgiving? I’ll probably send the whole break scrambling to finish that self-portrait in acrylic I was telling you about. Also I don’t know about where you live, but we’re expecting snow that weekend so it might be best I stay close and off the highways.  
Ummm okay, good night for me and good morning for you because I bet you won’t see this until you’re heading out the door for work.  
~Deimos

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos <=> starstruckwonder  
| starstruckwonder:  
| Potential wallpaper for the love commune  
Okay, but I only agree to this plan if we can get those glow-in-the-dark stars to stick all over the ceilings

#because reasons #unfulfilled childhood dreams #spaaaaace

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subject: New Email Title! (Same Email Conversation)  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

Good morning, Deimos! Yes you’re absolutely correct in that I wasn’t awake to get your email. I think I’ve figured out that we’re actually in the same time zone, I just clearly keep a different schedule than you do. Go easy on yourself and be sure to actually get sleep some nights! Maybe lay on top your bed rather than under it. :) But I’m glad that you were able to stop hiding under the bed with your cat. Judging by the pictures you’ve posted, there couldn’t be much room left under the bed once your cat fit underneath! Joking, of course, I’m sure your cat is just well-fed. I mean. Well-loved. (Hehe) All joking aside, I was relieved to get your email and know that things were okay between us again. I’d hate to think I’d offended you somehow or that you’d feel uncomfortable discussing this. It isn’t something I feel any reluctance talking about, especially not with you, so don’t worry about coming across as rude or anything. I guess I’m pretty much an open book!  
As for my dad, he actually passed away about ten years ago so, no, he doesn’t know what ships I sail. I never got to find out if that would bother him or not. My mom knows (not that I imagine x-rated things between the nice characters in those silly books I read) but she knows about the rest. My sisters do, too. My whole family, actually, except for I guess my cousins overseas who I haven’t seen in years. And I don’t care if they know, I just don’t think it’s worth the long distance charges to tell them. I came out just after I graduated high school, but of course my sister (the one with the kid, my twin) knew before that. She’s an obnoxious know-it-all like that anyway so she claims to have known before I did. We're close enough that she’s at least tolerated my enthusiasm for SSC – my dad tried to get her involved in it way back. There’s a picture somewhere of the three of us (my dad, my sister, and me) dressed as SSC characters for Halloween. My dad already had dibs on Pelgrad, so I’ll let you guess who I ended up being! (Obviously my sister was Olivera)  
I do have plans for Thanksgiving. We’re all going to my grandma’s house. It’ll be a bit chaotic as always, especially once they all drag me out for the Black Friday sales so I can chauffer and help them bully through crowds. Plus I’m tall, so they’ve used me as a locator beacon before. I usually end up carrying half the bags by the end of it anyway. I’m not looking forward to it, if you can’t tell. Are you not going to see your family at all? I’d invite you to come crash ours (it’d be nice to have another man around besides me!) but if you’ve got that project due then maybe that’s for the best. I bet it’ll look great when you’re done!  
Enjoy your day and take care  
\- Praxis

 

 

subject: re: New Email Title! (Same Email Conversation)  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com> 

Good evening, Praxis, we’re once again mirroring each other. For all you know I actually live on Mars, that’s why I’m always awake at 2am your Earth time. And, hey! Are you calling my cat fat?? I’m going to tell her you said that. You’re going to wake up with her curled on your chest as you sleep, and then the slow suffocation from extreme feline chubbiness begins. It’ll be a cute death, don’t worry. (And, on the same serious note, yeah, me too – I’m sorry again for ignoring you like that. It just isn’t a subject I’m comfortable with. Sorry again. Oh! Not that we can’t talk about it! Just, I got so anxious. You’ve been really nice, though, so, you don’t make me nervous or anything.)  
Waaaaugghhh. I totally remember you mentioning your dad rolling over in his grave at the sight of my Pel/Pri art – really sorry for the nosy/rude/horrible question then. I’m so sorry, Praxis. That must be tough. But, um, you know that you have to go find that picture now and scan it or something so I can see. I’m almost terrified to ask who you were dressed as if your dad was Pelgrad and your sister was Olivera. You weren’t the Prince, were you? No. No. Oh my God. You were Kit Carson. I can feel the cosmic disturbance that tells me I’m right. This means that Kit Carson cosplay exists. You are responsible for that. I hope you’re happy with yourself.  
Your Thanksgiving plans sound eventful, that’s for sure. I’m glad you’re close to your family, that’s really great. I still have a lot of work to do for that acrylic project plus a whole lot of other stuff I procrastinated. Actual day-of Thanksgiving I’ll probably eat with a friend of mine, he doesn’t usually go home either. We’ve kind of made a tradition out of it at this point. It won’t be anything fancy, although we will have turkey… Wild Turkey, that is. Uh, like I said, it’s kind of tradition.  
Okay, well, until next time!  
~ Deimos  
 

 

 

myshonok-deimos: No of course I am not just camping the archive for updates (okay I totally am) – “Until I Met You” Chapter 3 by Tiberius

#star struck chronicles #captain pelgrad #the martian prince #I love this so much

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subject: re: New Email Title! (Same Email Conversation)  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

Good morning, Deimos! How is the weather on Mars? Must be lovely this time of year. This will just be a short email since I’m rolling out of the door for the drive to my mom’s house (Her place first, that’s where I’ll be staying, and then just over to my grandma’s the actual day-of) I promise to look for that Halloween picture while I’m there. I’m sure it’ll be in one of the photo albums. And, yes, you guessed correctly. I will try to hold my head high against the shame and dubious honor and being the fandom’s first and only Kit Carson cosplayer. I actually always meant to put together a Captain Pelgrad costume for Halloween or something but that never happened and I guess now it probably won’t. Barring some strange AU I guess. Pirate AU? Oh, that could be cool, although I don’t see Pelgrad as the pirate type, he’s too noble for that. Felix, I could see Felix as a pirate. This conversation got out of control, sorry! Haha.  
Well I better go. There’s a front moving in and I want to get on the road before it starts risking snow. Good luck on your project and have fun (and be safe! Don’t drink and draw, I’m not sure the fandom can handle another Gay Space Dick Adventures masterpiece!)  
\- Praxis

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos: For practically-praxis, SSC Pirates!

#my art #star struck chronicles #captain pelgrad #the martian prince #felix phillips #praxis my darling look what you’ve made me do #yaarrrrr!

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subject: happy thnkgiving!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com> 

hi praxis happy thanksgiivng yayayayayyay go be total boss at those sales! shop all the things! ahaha I nearly wrote that as ‘ship’ all teh  things pffftt  
<3 <3 <3 <3 Deimos <3 <3 <3 <3

 

 

subject: re: happy thnkgiving!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

haha, hi Deimos! I see you’ve been enjoying your turkey :)

 

 

 

subject: re: happy thnkgiving!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

WAIT WHEN DID YOU GET ON MARS did you switcj time zones or somrthing?

 

 

subject: re: happy thnkgiving!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

No, no, it’s still 4am here. I’m just standing in line outside a department store with my sisters. I’m on my phone.

 

 

subject: re: happy thnkgiving!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com> 

OH well that amaks ea lot more sense. hey did you sesr the drawing I made for youuuuuuuuu

 

 

subject: re: happy thnkgiving!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

Oh! No, I'm sorry, I haven’t been online to see. I don’t have internet on my phone, just email. I’ll try to get on my mom’s computer later today once this awful shopping adventure is over. How was your Thanksgiving? Be sure to drink some water so you don’t feel wretched in the morning.

 

 

subject: re: happy thnkgiving!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com> 

black friday hangover is part of the tradition  
#sassy deimos

 

 

 

subject: re: happy thnkgiving!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

Haha! Yes, you certainly are :) At least put a glass of water near the bed for yourself in the morning. You can pretend I put it there for you. (Sorry, I’m a worrier!)

 

 

subject: re: happy thnkgiving!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Ugghhh. (lol 7 hours later… actually awake…) Oh, thanks for the glass of water! ;)

 

 

subject: re: happy thnkgiving!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

You’re welcome! I hope you’re feeling okay.

 

 

 

subject: re: happy thnkgiving!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com> 

Oh my God, you poor thing you’re still here! Are you still shopping??

 

 

 

subject: re: happy thnkgiving!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

Sort of. I’m collapsed in a booth at the food court guarding a mountain of shopping bags and purses. I think after lunch we’ll go home, though. I’ll probably take a nap before trying to get online to see what lovely new art you’ve posted.

 

 

 

subject: re: happy thnkgiving!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com> 

Pffft. It’s nothing all that lovely or special, trust me. I’m heading over to the studio now to finish up that painting, so, we’ll have to talk more later. (And don’t forget to find that Halloween picture!)

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos <=> practically-praxis

| practically-praxis:  
|           myshonok-deimos:  
|           | For practically-praxis, SSC Pirates!  
| This is so great! I’m going to print this out to put on my desk at work :)

#WELL IN THAT CASE #I should have drawn more dick #gay space dick adventures AU edition #don’t judge me

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	6. Chapter 6

Aleks put his forehead against the steering wheel. Once more with vain hope, his hand turned the key into the ignition. Nothing more than a dull clicking sound emitted from the bowels of the car, and Aleks knew only enough about cars to understand that meant he was fucked. He took out the keys and sat holding them in his lap for a moment, debating what to do. The white puff of his breath was just faintly visible under the grimy yellow light of the parking lot. Clumps of snow continued to drift across his windshield to slowly bury the vehicle.  

His backpack sat on the seat next to him, and Aleks pulled his phone out from the exterior pocket. He tugged off one glove with his teeth and tapped at the cold screen to pull up his messages.

 

_(Sacha)_  
 _lol im dyeing some fabric and my neighbor came over to see if i was smoking pot_  
 _(Me)_  
 _Pfft. Were you?_  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _no and good thing. bitch seems uptight enough to call the cops if i had been. what r u doin?_  
 _(Me)_  
 _I’m at the studio_  
 _(Sacha)_   
_well im bored come over_  
 _(Me)_  
 _I can’t, I have to finish this painting tonight._  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _lame_  
 _(Me)_  
 _Well, you can come visit me here? If you do, bring me a latte. Pleeeeeeease!_  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _maybe_  
 _(Me)_  
 _I’m going on an emergency snack run, so if you get to studio and I’m not there that’s why. I wedged a rock in the door so you could get in. I’ll be back soon._  
 _(Me)_  
 _Did you know they make frozen pizzas that also contain frozen cookie dough? Seems excessive and specifically targeted to the profoundly high or the profoundly obese. I am neither and yet sorely tempted._  
 _(Me)_  
 _Hey did you still need fake ivy for that one thing? There’s some in the bargain bin I could grab for you._  
 _(Me)_  
 _I’m not getting you the ivy then?_  
 _(Me)_  
 _3…. 2 … 1! Putting it back._  
 _(Me)_  
 _Uhhhh hey… my car won’t start. This sucks. Are you busy?_  
 _(Me)_  
 _Soooo. Car still won’t start. Can you come get me?_  
 _(Me)_  
 _SOS! I need you to come get me. It’s snowing! Where are you?_

With a cloudy sigh, Aleks thumbed over to his blog and checked the outpouring of sympathy and offers of hot chocolate, blankets, and rides home… from people who were nowhere around to actually offer them. Aleks gave the car one final chance at starting, which it failed, before entirely surrendering the effort. He shoved the shopping bag into his backpack and worked his hand back into his glove.        

Thick clumps of snow toppled into the gap between the door and the roof as Aleks wedged it open. He recoiled from them as if it mattered before shoving the door the rest of the way open. The fresh snow crunched beneath his sneakers as Aleks stepped out of his car. He shouldered his backpack and reluctantly stared across the dark edges of the parking lot, toward the skinny sliver of sidewalk that lined the street.

The few first steps proved a little tricky as a patch of slush threatened to slip him off balance. Aleks gripped his phone tight in his coat pocket. He wanted to be sure to feel the little vibration if Sacha finally texted him back. Cold wind bit at his nose and ears, making him shiver. He could almost feel the snow sticking into his hair and melting along his cheeks. Aleks wished he’d thought to grab a scarf or hat before walking to the studio, or at least before walking back to his apartment to get his car.

It was a bit easier once he reached the sidewalk, which had at least been salted in anticipation of the snow. Aleks stamped his feet a bit to knock the clumps of snow off his sneakers. He started walking in the direction of the campus. Before long his phone vibrated, just once but too long for it to be a text. Aleks pulled his phone out and kept one hand cupped around it carefully to shield away the worst of the snow.

 

 

subject: Car Trouble  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

Hi Deimos! There was a nasty wreck on the highway, which was annoying but I hope no one was hurt. The delay means I’ve just now gotten home, hence why I’m responding yet again on Martian time. I’ll have to owe you a better, longer response later, but – Deimos, are you still stuck in that parking lot?? It’s snowing here as well actually but just tiny flurries. Do you have jumper cables? Are you going to call for a tow? I hope everything works out okay for you. When you can, let me know what happened.

 

 

subject: re: Car Trouble  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com> 

I gave up on my car. I’m walking back to campus now

 

  
subject: re: Car Trouble  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

Oh, no! How far do you have to walk?

 

 

subject: re: Car Trouble  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com> 

No idea.

 

 

subject: re: Car Trouble  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

I hope it’s not far! Is it still snowing there?

 

 

subject: re: Car Trouble  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com> 

Yeah

 

 

subject: re: Car Trouble  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

Oh, Deimos! I hate to think of you walking around in the snow at this hour. Why don’t you find someplace warm to sit for a bit and call a cab?

 

 

subject: re: Car Trouble  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com> 

Starving artist, remember? Also, tiny college town. Not even sure we have a taxi service.

 

 

subject: re: Car Trouble  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com> 

Do you have any friends you could try calling for a ride?

 

  

subject: re: Car Trouble  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com> 

It’s fine

 

 

Aleks pocketed the phone again and trudged up next to the crosswalk. He leaned to press the button without stepping into a deep sweep of snow. The opposing streetlight remained green despite the complete absence of cars at the intersection. Aleks waited a few seconds longer before giving up and going anyway. He hurried a little at the end when a car finally turned on to the street.

Aleks tucked his head down against the wind. He felt the little vibrate of his phone again but didn’t bother to check. The bright swell headlights fell over his back, and Aleks felt tension run along his shoulders as the car crept up beside him. He slowed as the car did, wary and alert once he realized they were keeping close, pacing him. He didn’t recognize the car, which was sleek and red with a low top and sporty shape.

The passenger window rolled down to reveal a pretty face framed by long hair, someone who Aleks recognized vaguely from class by the distinct sweep of the loose, pale braid. Despite the vague familiarity of the young man, Aleks kept walking, eyes lowered. The car stalked alongside him at a crawling pace.

The passenger leaned further out the window. “Hello!” he called, almost laughing it. “Lovely weather for a walk!”

After a short pause and seemingly undeterred by the answering silence, he persisted by asking, “Would you like a ride?”

Aleks glanced sideways and stopped walking. He didn’t recognize the driver at all, a dark, dangerous-looking young man with a buzzed mohawk.

The long-haired one smiled with easy, sloppy kindness. Drunk, Aleks would bet, and it made him take a small step in retreat. The car stopped and the passenger got out to fold back to the seat for him to squeeze into the back of the two-door coupe. Aleks remained on the sidewalk, tense and anxious about the situation.

“You look a bit familiar.” The young man leaned close. “Yeah. I recognize you. We have the same graduate seminar, I think!”

Aleks eyed the car, the inebriated flush across the vaguely familiar face, the impatient but accommodating glare on the driver’s face. It couldn’t be more than a mile back to the campus at this point. He weighed all that against the cold, the wind, the damp chill of melted snow in his hair. When Aleks put his head down again and started walking, the young man protested, idly shouting after him with same laughing kind of tone. Aleks turned off the main road to take an impromptu shortcut through backyards and little side paths that were more like alleys. He walked fast, not quite running, but with his heart racing all the same.

A few blocks shy of the studio, Aleks’ phone hummed with a new text message, just a short vibration. He hastily pulled out the phone to huddle over it with his gloves and face, desperate to spare the device from the snow. The snow, which over the last five minutes, had grown thick and doubly obnoxious.

 

_(Sacha)_  
 _lol u still stuck?_  
 _(Me)_  
 _Hey! Yeah. Sorry to bother you. I decided to walk._  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _still need a ride? im pretty drunk but fuck the police_  
 _(Me)_  
 _No, I’m almost there. Thanks anyway._  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _k_

  

Aleks pocketed his phone again without checking his most recent email. By the time he did finally reach the studio, he wasted most his time stamping around frigid and wet from the snow, fingers and face too numb to resume painting. He slung his backpack into the empty chair beside the worktable and glared at the almost-finished canvas. All he felt like doing was smearing the entire palette over the brushing shadow of his bangs on the stupid self-portrait. 

Once his fingers thawed back out, Aleks hurriedly worked to finish the painting. He didn’t care about making it super polished anymore, he just wanted it done. He just wanted to go curl under the covers in bed and sleep. He just wanted a lot of things he couldn’t have, so tough fucking luck.

Thanks to the long delay from his stupid car, the sun crested up over the horizon as Aleks was still working. It made him yawn and rub his eyes into the back of his wrist. Finally satisfied, or at least willing to give up and declare it done, Aleks started cleaning up his space.

Everything took on the bleary kind of unreality like always from sheer exhaustion, and Aleks found himself rubbing his thumb over the brush tips with idle fascination as he cleaned them. He’d spent all Saturday doing homework as well, in fits and spurts to let the paint dry, spending the breaks in between typing his essay. Aleks put the brushes aside to dry and put the paints away as well. He yawned and turned his attention to his backpack, getting his phone and everything else rearranged. He still had the one unread email from Praxis. He decided to read it later.

Aleks was just turning to leave the studio when the bent metal of the door popped open. It startled him some, but all sense of unease vanished when he saw Sacha shoulder his way into the studio with a paper coffee cup in each hand. The snow dusted across his leather jacket and dark hair was already starting to melt.

Sacha blew across one of the lids and offered the second out for Aleks. “Hurry up while it’s still hot,” he said.

Aleks crossed the room like being pulled along on strings. His fingers brushed the back of Sacha’s hand as he took the coffee from him. Warmth bled through the cardboard sleeve and the damp knit of his gloves. He stared at his friend with the same idle, bleary fascination as he’d washed the paintbrushes.

“What?” snapped Sacha. He lifted his own coffee up his lips and drank. “What’s that look for?”

Aleks shook his head slowly and then carefully lowered his face to study the white plastic lid. He toggled the little tab open and shut for a bit before leaving it open. He went slow about it, careful, not wanting to burn his tongue, but the latte wasn’t scorching hot anymore, just pleasantly hot. It tasted like warmth all the way through.

“You going home before class?” Sacha asked.

Aleks pulled his phone from his pocket to check the time. Sorely tempted as he was to just skip the lecture, he still needed to turn in his essay and stick around for attendance. Might as well sit through the whole thing in that case. There was still enough time for him to walk home to check on Tatiana and change into dry socks.  He nodded in response to Sacha’s question.

Sacha led the way back downstairs and out into the bright, cold morning. It’d stopped snowing, at least, the wind just pushing the existing snow off the roof to create a small dusted flurry outside the door. Sacha’s combat boots proved sturdier on the slick surfaces than Aleks’ sneakers, and he snagged at Aleks’ arm to keep him from slipping on the frozen-over slush.

“What are you going to do about your car?” Sacha asked.

Aleks shrugged and then put his shoulders up again as the bitter cold bit at his ears and neck.

“Could try jumping it after you get out of class.” Sacha unwound his thick red scarf and then dumped it over Aleks’ head.

Aleks curled his fingers into the warm wool and then gratefully put it around himself. He nodded at Sacha’s suggestion without actually thinking about it. He still felt tired, but the coffee was helping. He drained it entirely but hung on to the empty cup until they reached his apartment. They passed Sacha’s car parked in the street, a bit crooked but mostly aligned with the curb.

Tatiana greeted him at the door, plaintively meowing reproach for him having been out all night. Aleks stopped long enough to pat her before stripping his damp gloves, wet coat, everything soaked from the melted snow. Sacha unlaced his boots and set them near the door to avoid tramping mud and muck across the floor, which made Aleks realize he intended on staying.

Aleks slung his backpack down, prompting the cat poke her face all over it with curiosity. Sacha dumped his jacket on top of her, so Tatiana became just a flashing tip of blue-grey tail before freeing herself. Sacha moved to the fridge and opened it to survey the contents. He pulled out the half-gallon of milk and drank straight from the jug before setting it on the counter. Aleks glanced over but didn’t say anything as Sacha fixed himself a bowl of cereal.

Aleks pulled his sweater and undershirt off and tossed them toward the hamper. The sweater made it but the shirt fell shy. It fluttered against the side before ending up on the floor. Tatiana came over to investigate, and Aleks didn’t see her in time to avoid chucking his jeans at the hamper. The wet denim slapped against the plastic gridding and spooked her up into the bookcase.

Sacha leaned against the fridge to munch at his cereal. “You should have come over last night. I figured out if you mix cherry vodka with coke it tastes pretty much exactly like you think it should.”

Aleks shrugged as he slid on a new pair of jeans. He found a clean shirt, or at least a shirt that smelled clean. Dry, warm clothes helped him feel better, more awake even though he hadn’t slept. Aleks washed his face with hot water and was almost in a good mood after he finished.

When he came out from the bathroom, Sacha sat in the beanbag chair playing a fighting game. “Take my jacket,” he said without looking away from the screen. “And scarf.”

Aleks felt at his coat, evaluating the damp hem of his sleeves and the patches of wet across the shoulders. He picked up the heavy leather jacket from the floor, but rather than put it on he simply set it across the foot of the bed. He found a hooded sweatshirt in his closet to wear underneath his coat, so the damp wouldn’t bother him.  He did take the red scarf, however, partially because he didn’t have the time to find his in all the clutter, but mostly because it was still warm and smelled faintly like Sacha’s cigarettes.

“Chunky, stop it.” Sacha pushed the cat away with his forearm. “The controller isn’t made of food.”

Aleks shouldered on his backpack and tapped his fingers into the door to get Sacha’s attention. Once he had it, he waved a little to say goodbye.

“Yeah, whatever. See ya” Sacha looked back at the television, and Aleks went to class. 


	7. Chapter 7

subject: re: Car Trouble  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

I’m so worried about you now! I hope everything works out. I’d be there in an instant with jumper cables and coffee if I could. It’s so late for me and I have work in the morning, so I’m crawling into bed now. I’ll check my email before work, so let me know when you get home safe?

 

 

 

subject: Earth to Mars!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi Deimos. Did you get home okay last night? I found that Halloween picture we were talking about. I’ll scan it tonight when I get home from work. I’m rushing out the door right now with a thermos of coffee (I got so little sleep!) but I wanted to see how you were doing.

 

 

subject: re: Earth to Mars!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Hi Praxis, sorry for the late reply/making you worry. I didn’t answer last night because right after your email my friend called, so I was able to get a ride home easy enough. I’ve just been busy since, rushing around the studio and class and such.  
I tried to jump my car earlier, but I think it’s just completely kaput. I don’t know much about cars at all. I’m so tired right now – haven’t slept yet. I finished my painting at least. I’m falling into bed right now so I’ll deal with my car when I wake up.

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos:

Read More -->

#my life #text post spam

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maddogcain said: dibs on your car’s corpse  
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subject: re: Earth to Mars!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

I’m glad to hear you didn’t have to walk all that way in the snow! Sorry to bug you about it. Being the big brother to 4 sisters made me into something of a worrier, especially for someone I care about. It’s good your friend was able to help you out like that. Is this the same friend who stepped on the nail/had you over for Thanksgiving? Sounds like you guys are close, that’s great.  
I scanned the photo for you, let me know if the attachment doesn’t send for whatever reason. I thought about posting it to my blog but, haha, I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of attention. I saw your post about your car, that’s too bad! Have you already taken it to a mechanic? It could be the alternator from the sound of it, especially if jumping the battery didn’t work. I hope that all works out for you. Do you have to walk far to get to the campus from where you live  
I know I’ve been rushed the last few emails, so I went back to the last email you sent me before Thanksgiving to see if I’d dropped any conversation points. It looks like I’ve ended up pretty much covering everything, but I guess a little more on my family since it came up. Don’t feel bad for asking about my dad or anything, I don’t mind. It was tough for my mom and everyone after he died, but we’ve all kind of adjusted to it by now. I like to think he’d be pretty okay with everything, like how me and the girls turned out, how my mom’s doing, etc. I bet he’d even like your art, like some of the Prince portraits and Martian landscapes that you do. Maybe not the Pel/Pri stuff – I’d probably have to spare him that. Not that I think he’d disapprove of me or even necessarily the subject matter, just – he’s my dad, it’d be a little weird! Anyway that got a little rambly, sorry. I bet we’re both pretty tired and in need of a good rest. Take care and talk to you soon!  
\- Praxis

Attachment: halloweenssc.jpg   
613K       View       Download

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos:

Read More -->

#my life #text post spam #you only thought this was an art blog

royalphantom likes this  
the-nerd-word said: stress is dumb  
starstruckwonder said: shh… come into my arms bb I will soothe away your troubles

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos <=> turn-0f-mind

| turn-0f-mind:  
| “Until I Met You” by Tiberius, Chapter 4  
| I think this is the last chapter! Commence shameless stalking to enable shameless begging for the author to write more!

#insert clever tags here #mopey deimos has no energy to squeal #just pretend I did

ships-that-never-sink likes this  
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kurenai-tenka reblogged this from starstruckwonder  
starstruckwonder reblogged this from turn-0f-mind and added: yesssss! But serious stalking needs to happen or I’m going to start accusing random…  
elisetales said: I am so sad this is over but what a sweet story with such a good ending for the two of them. I love AUs and they are so so rare!  
elisetales likes this  
royalphantom likes this

 

 

subject: re: Earth to Mars!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Ahaha, aw, the Halloween picture is so cute. Thanks for sending it to me. Sorry in advance this is going to be a short email. I’m not feeling all that great because of stress. I’m done with major art projects for the moment, but I have all this other school-related stuff plus that art history final to study for. And then my car and, just, ugh. I’m starting to regret grad school a lot. I honestly only applied because I didn’t know what else to do with myself.  
In response to your questions:  
Yes, the same friend I spent Thanksgiving with and who drags me along on trespassing adventures. I just found out he’s going home for two weeks at Christmas, so that means it’ll just be me and Tatiana.  
I did get my car to the mechanic. You were right about the alternator. There is so much wrong with my poor car. I can’t afford to fix any of it. I live really close to campus so that’s fine for now I guess.    
I’m going to lie down and sleep until it’s summer.  
~ Deimos

 

 

 

subject: re: Earth to Mars!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Aw, Deimos, I’m so sad to hear you’re stressed out. I never went to college, so I’m a bit clueless of what to offer other than platitudes. Go easy on yourself, though. I’m sure you’ll be able to figure things out. You seem to like art, so I bet you’re learning a lot. It probably doesn’t seem worth it now, but I’m sure it’ll seem worth it once you’re done.  Don’t study so hard it makes you miserable, okay? I hope you really did go to sleep after sending that last email, and I hope you’re still asleep as I’m sending this one.  
Is Tatiana a relative of yours? Sorry if you’ve already told me who she is and I’ve forgotten. I’m glad you’ll have someone to spend Christmas with, though, if your friend is leaving town. You should spend the break getting caught up on rest and relaxation :)  
Good luck with your car. Maybe start saving up? I wish there was more I could do to help…  
\- Praxis

 

 

myshonok-deimos <=> practically-praxis

| practically-praxis:  
| The Prince appreciation post! (featuring art by the incredibly talented and lovely Deimos)

#your shameless flattery will get you nowhere #and by nowhere I mean blublublub

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myshonok-deimos likes this

 

 

myshonok-deimos: This is what happens when I try to study.

#my art #star struck chronicles #captain pelgrad #the martian prince #felix phillips

starstruckwonder likes this  
felixity said: You need to study more often if this is the result  
practically-praxis likes this  
kurenai-tenka said: I like when you study  
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elisetales likes this  
maddogcain said: did you get my text?  
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myshonok-deimos: For maddogcain with love, “Bon Voyage!” (crayola and pencil because I’m classy that way)

#my art #gay space dick adventures #sassy deimos #I am too hung over to feel remorse

commandervimescigar likes this  
felixity said: my love for you exceeds known quantities of love  
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eiisetales reblogged this from the-nerd-word and added: ngl this might be new favorite thing  
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the-nerd-word reblogged this from myshonok-deimos and added: wat  
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subject: Winter Break!!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Hi Praxis, sorry my last email was so mopey, and sorry this one’s so late. BUT! I am dooooooone. I had my final today, I’ve turned in everything, I have nothing left to do for this semester just 3 weeks of glorious break, aaahhhh yeah! I’m feeling better than I was last time we talked or possibly just drunk I will let you be the judge of that, bwaha.  
Um, okay. Thanks for being sweet about my depressing life choices. You’re really nice. I don’t know why you waste so much time emailing a silly whiney artist like me, but, yaaay.  
Tatiana is my cat. I’m staying here for winter break. Can’t go anywhere with my car still busted, but even if it was working I would still just stay here. My friend will be back right after Christmas so we’ll probably do New Year’s stuff together, he usually knows of a party or something to go to. I like the really big parties where it’s too loud to talk to anyone. I’m not like a social butterfly or anything, hahaha. I think I’m going to draw a bunch over winter break and save it all to post later so my blog won’t become nothing but stupid sketches in the margins of my notes again. Or text post spam. Blah blah blah more conversation goes here but I can’t think of what to say.  
~ Deimos

 

 

 

Deimos: BOOOOOO I see youuuuuu  
 _Sent at 9:47 PM on Thursday_

Praxis: Oh! Hello!

Deimos: oh wow you’re actually there!

Praxis: Well, yes? At least, I think so?

Deimos: ppfffftt, have you ever used the chat before?

Praxis: No? I’m so confused! Haha. I don’t use this email much

Deimos: oh sorry, lol  
didn’t mean to surprise you with it  
I’ve just never actually seen you online

Praxis: Oh, yeah  
I was going to email you back before going to bed :)

Deimos: beeeeeeeeeeeeed!  
yeah I guess you have work tomorrow  
suckkkeerrrr

Praxis: Haha, no class for you I take it

Deimos: noooope! I’m done <3

Praxis: Good, I’m glad!  
You were having such a rough end of your semester, huh?

Deimos: go big or go home  
/sassy deimos

Praxis: How much have you had to drink? Haha.

Deimos: NOT ENOUGH APPARENTLY  
perhaps too much  
i am walking the fine line between the two

Praxis: Okay :)  
 _Sent at 10:24 PM on Thursday_

Deimos: um, sorry

Praxis: What for?

Deimos: being obnoxious?

Praxis: You’re not being obnoxious!  
I was just writing my response to your email

Deimos: well thats silly! tell me here

Praxis: oh. Yeah! Haha, I guess I could do that.  
Here’s what I have so far -  
“Don’t worry about it, Deimos! I could see from your blog posts that you were busy. I’m glad that everything’s wrapped up finally. When will you find out your grades? I bet you aced everything. Good to hear that you’re in a better mood, too, I was worried for you. Stress is awful! I think that you’re”  
 _Sent at 10:33 PM on Thursday_

Deimos: don’t leave my hanging! Think that I’m what? :D

Praxis: Well I was going to say that I think you’re nice too :)  
I like talking to you.

Deimos: Aw  
<3 yay

Praxis: Haha. Also, your cat has a cute name! How’d you come up with Tatiana?

Deimos: oh that was the name she had when I adopted her  
I was too lazy to change it

Praxis: No, it’s a nice name! how long have you had her?

Deimos: Umm, 3 years?  
Yeah, like 3 and a half

Praxis: Well, she’s pretty

Deimos: pretty fat you mean ;p

Praxis: Yes, that too!

Deimos: I keep thinking I should put her on a diet but it just make sher so cuddddllyyy  
makes her*

Praxis: Oh, I bet! And, are you not going to see your family at all for Christmas?

Deimos: uuuuuuhh  
no…

Praxis: Do you mind if I ask why?

Deimos: uh  
car busted, remember?

Praxis: Oh… That’s awful  
Do they live far away?

Deimos: um… like… 2 hours I guess

Praxis: Well, that’s not so far!  
Have you asked if someone could give you a ride?  
Or maybe a bus!  
 _Sent at 10:51 PM on Thursday_  
Praxis: Hello?

Deimos: hi

Praxis: Oh, I wasn’t sure if you’d signed out

Deimos: no, I’m here. Just thinking about my response… don’t want to be a downer

Praxis: Aw… Deimos, it’s okay. I don’t think you’re a downer

Deimos: we dont have to get into my drama  
nevermind, forget about it

Praxis: I don’t mind  
Hey…  
It’s more than just your car’s busted, huh?

Deimos: yeah…

Praxis: Aw, Deimos. I’m sorry.

Deimos: waaah. Pity party for one…

Praxis: I’ll bring the cheese if you want to whine :)

Deimos: aww yeah, cheese! :D  
My cat heard you. She’s got her fat face against the screen

Praxis: Hi Tatiana!

Deimos: she seems unimpressed with you  
probably figured out the cheese isn’t real

Praxis: No, I guess not.  
But the offer to listen is, if you want to talk about it

Deimos: adfhgjk  
uh okay but I need another drink or two  
brb

Praxis: Sure :)  
I’ll wait here with Tatiana  
 _Sent at 11:19 PM on Thursday_

Deimos: Back!

Praxis: wb!

Deimos: thanks

Praxis: What are you drinking?

Deimos: cherry vodka mixed with coke  
it tastes just like you imagine it would

Praxis: Sound yummy

Deimos: yeah it is  
my silly lush of a cat just drank some

Praxis: Did she like it?

Deimos: nope  
you should see her face right now

Praxis: I can imagine!

Deimos: ugh  
okay  
so  
my dumb life

Praxis: Yeah?  
 _Sent at 11:39 PM on Thursday_

Deimos: okay so its nothing horribly dramatic I guess, it’s just that my dad doesnt want anything to do with me and my stepmom is like this evil stepmother cliche of not wanting anything to do with me either, so… I dont have anything to do with them  
and that’s why I’m not going home for Christmas

Praxis: Because you feel unwanted?

Deimos: because I am unwanted, trust me  
my dad and I have this deal, more or less. He pays my tuition and sends me money, and I dont bother him with my existence

Praxis I’m sorry about your family. That must be rough.

Deimos: its fine

Praxis: Really? :C

Deimos: sure  
but that’s why I went to grad school anyway, I didnt have a job and I knew my dad would pay for it, so...

Praxis: What about your mom?

Deimos: yeah she’s somewhere I guess  
she ran off when I was eight, used to send me blank birthday cards without return addresses  
but then we moved when I was fourteen so, idk

Praxis: Have you thought about trying to find her?

Deimos: nope  
she wasn’t all that great of a mom tbh

Praxis: I’m sorry

Deimos: its not really that big of a deal  
like you’re close to your family and that’s great, but I’m not close to mine and that’s fine

Praxis: Aw, Deimos :C

Deimos: told you I’d be a downer

Praxis: You’re fine, don’t worry about it  
I’m happy to talk about whatever’s bothering you

Deimos: you are so nice  
wait let me get sloppy drunk and lavish more senseless praise at you

Praxis: Haha, okay :)

Deimos: ugh so like the worst part is that I have to ask my dad to help with my car now

Praxis: Oh, will he pay for the repairs?

Deimos: yeah or just buy me a new one  
I’ve had this one since high school

Praxis: You should call him then

Deimos: yeah I guess

Praxis: A new car would be a nice Christmas present

Deimos: yeah… hey I dont want to come across as poor little rich kid, you know?  
I mean yeah my dad has money, but I really am a starving artist

Praxis: I don’t think of you like that

Deimos: it isn’t like he’d get me a new new car  
he’d just stick the money in my account so I could get another rust bucket  
and what he sends me to live on, like, its enough but not really

Praxis: But I bet you’d rather be able to go home for Christmas than get a check in the mail, huh?

Deimos: no, not really  
I dont know  
its been long enough at this point that I’m really happier living on my own  
I just wish Sacha was here  
 _Sent at 12:07 AM on Thursday_

Praxis: Ah, is Sacha your friend from Thanksgiving and all?  
(sorry, I’d stepped away for a bit)

Deimos: oh yeah  
I shouldnt be surprised since he usually goes home for christmas  
but still it sucks

Praxis: Did your other friends go home on break as well? That must be the tough part about being a student.  
I mean, besides how busy it keeps you.

Deimos: uh yeah  
enough about my sad life though  
tell me something about you!

Praxis: Me?

Deimos: yeah! Uhhh like… how old are your sisters?  
besides your twin obvs

Praxis: Oh. Well, okay. They are 15, 17, and 20

Deimos: so do they all live with your mom?

Praxis: No, just the two youngest. Stef’s finishing up nursing school and my twin lives like 15 minutes away from me. And she has two kids, both girls – it’s a family of girls, seriously.

Deimos: lol  
you poor thing

Praxis: It’s not so bad

Deimos: so do you live by yourself

Praxis: No I have a roommate, but we rarely see each other. He works the night shift.

Deimos: any pets?

Praxis: No, but my sister has a guinea pig. Her oldest is 4 and decided to name it ‘Squeaky’

Deimos: lol seriously?

Praxis: Yeah. It’s certainly a Squeaky though, the name fits.

Deimos: wait is it a girl or a boy?

Praxis: Honestly I’m not sure. Some days my niece calls Squeaky ‘he’ and other times ‘she’ and my sister just rolls with whatever pronoun that gets thrown out there.

Deimos: ahaha, that’s hilarious

Praxis: The youngest, she’s just barely 2. I’m not sure she’s learned what a guinea pig really is yet, because half the time she calls it ‘kitty’ or ‘bunny’

Deimos: that sounds like one identity-challenged guinea pig

Praxis: Yeah I think so :)

Deimos: So what are you getting your nieces for christmas? any surprises?

Praxis: I haven’t even begun my shopping. I’ll probably do what I always do and start to panic at the last minute, and then when I call my sister to ask what the girls want she tells me there’s already presents under the tree from Uncle Praxis.  
Oh, but then I covertly sneak presents under the tree on Christmas Eve from Santa.

Deimos: aw man thats sickeningly precious

Praxis: Is it?

Deimos: yes entirely  
you’re too cute  
asdfgh  
look at im at the part of the evening i promised

Praxis: The part where you lavish senseless praise at me?

Deimos: yussss

Praxis: Oh, good! I was hoping we’d get to this part. Does this mean I get to lavish praise back at you?

Deimos: no its like a oneway street

Praxis: Aw, really? I wanted a good excuse to call you adorable (because I think you are)

Deimos: beep beep youre going the wrong way!

Praxis: Oh, no!

Deimos: ahahaha  
hey dont you have work tomorrow??

Praxis: Yeah, I do

Deimos: its martian time! you should be asleep

Praxis: Well we were in the middle of talking, I didn’t want to be rud

Deimos: pssshhhh. sorry, I’ll chat your ear off all night

Praxis: I don’t mind :)

Deimos: for real, go to bed!

Praxis: Okay, okay. What are your plans for tomorrow?

Deimos: drawing? idk nothing

Praxis: Okay. Well. Be sure to put a glass of water by the bed

Deimos: the one that you'll put there for me?

Praxis: Yeah :)

Deimos: i bet tatiana will knock it over

Praxis: I’ll tell her not to

Deimos: goodluck with that

Praxis: Haha. Good night, Deimos

Deimos: niiiiight <3

_Praxis is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Praxis comes online._

 

 

 

subject: re Winter Break!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi Deimos! Good morning and hopefully you’re not too hung over or anything. I enjoyed chatting with you last night. This is just a short email because I guess you I got most of my reply out of me already. You know, I find it a little hard to believe you aren’t just the life of the party whenever you go out – you have such an open and friendly personality! Your New Year’s plans certainly sound exciting. I’m not much for loud parties myself. I think I’m a bit of a stick in the mud. Ho-hum! You’d be bored to tears at my New Year’s thing, trust me. It’s just letting the girls stay up until midnight (they never manage, although last year the oldest made it all the way to eleven o’clock before we faked the countdown and sent her to bed) Anyway. I’m looking forward to seeing what you draw!  
All the best,   
-Praxis

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos: WIP, Pelgrad/the Prince (based on Tiberius’ Until I Met You because the Prince in an apron surrounding by cakes is a thing I need)

#my art #star struck chronicles #captain pelgrad #the martian prince

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Praxis: Hello!  
 _Sent at 8:39 PM on Saturday_  
Ah, maybe you aren’t online after all?  
Figures for a Saturday night :)

 

 

 

hey asshole check your fucking phone  
-maddogcain

 

 

 

Sorry! I was really involved in my drawing.  
-myshonok-deimos

 

 

 

subject: re: Winter Break!!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Pah! I emerge from a drawathon to seek human interaction! Heh. Sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I’ve been lazing around my apartment somewhere between overly productive and entirely useless. I beat my video game, cleaned, drew a bunch, ordered a pizza because I didn’t feel like walking to the store… Pretty good weekend, I guess! I think you’ll like what I’m drawing. Do you read any of the fanfiction stuff? There’s a really cute AU where the Prince runs a bakery on Earth, and I’m doing this pastel-themed decadent fluff piece based on that. I also started some super secret Christmas themed ones but I’m not going to put WIP ups for those because they are a surprise! So don’t tell anyone!  
<3 Deimos

 

 

 

Deimos: Caught you!  
 _Sent at 9:22 PM on Monday_

Praxis: So you did!  
 _Sent at 9:44 PM on Monday  
_

Deimos: Hooray! How are you?

Praxis: Just doing my online check before bed, sadly

Deimos: I need you to quit your job and just stay online constantly to entertain me

Praxis: Haha, okay. I’ll get right on that :)

Deimos: Well, I won’t keep you up in that case

Praxis: No, it’s fine! I wasn’t saying that to get rid of you or anything  
I’m excited about your secret Christmas art

Deimos: As you should be!  
I think you’ll really like it

Praxis: I can’t wait in that case

Deimos: No peeking! I’m saving these

Praxis: Okay :)

Deimos: How early do you have to get up, anyway?

Praxis: Oh, around 5:30 I guess. Sometimes I cheat and sleep in until 5:45 or almost 6, but then I really have to rush out the doo

Deimos: no way  
D:  
That’s terrible!

Praxis: It’s not that bad! Haha. I’m a morning person I guess

Deimos: Oh man not me

Praxis: No of course not, you run on Martian time

Deimos: Pfft, yeah, I do!

Praxis: I better get to bed though, sorry

Deimos: Don’t apologize! When do you get home? I’ll try to catch you at a decent hour

Praxis: Oh, tomorrow? I have to do some stuff after work, but I should be on… 8? I could chat for a bit then

Deimos: Okay, I’ll be here

Praxis:  Oh, great!  
Then it’s a date :)

Deimos: Okay, sure!  
(asdfghjk)

Praxis: Night, sleep well (when you eventually do sleep)

Deimos: You too! Night <3

_Praxis is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Praxis comes online._


	8. Chapter 8

subject: Car Repair  
Aleks <aleks.koval@battenarts.edu>  
to: Dad <mkoval@hesserskoval.com

Sir,   
My car has broken down and is in need of either repair or replacement. Please find attached estimate invoice for the necessary repairs. I have also included information on a potential purchase if you choose to replace the car entirely.   
Sincerely,   
Aleks

2 Attachments:   
invoiceforcar_repairs.pdf  
67K       View       Download  
invoiceforcar_purchase.pdf  
92K       View       Download

 

 

 

 

subject: re: Car Repair  
Sheila Fitzhugh<sfitzhugh@hesserskoval.com>  
to: Aleks <aleks.koval@battenarts.edu>

Dear Aleks,  
Your father has asked me to forward you the funds to buy a new car. I’ve issued the wire transfer directly to your bank account (confirmation #B590224) Please let me know if you need further assistance in this matter.

Best,  
Sheila Fitzhugh  
 _Executive Assistant  
Hessers, Koval  & Associatiates_

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos: bling bling, new wheels

#shameless gpoy #even though I’m not in the shot #because someone had to take the picture #I tried to get the cat to cooperate but she lacks thumbs #my fat silly kitty

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subject: Shiny new wheels  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Your new car looks nice! I’m so glad that ended up working out for you. I’ll be online again tonight if you want to talk about anything. (I don’t know how you felt about reaching out to your dad…) Anyway you’re probably asleep now since it’s snooze-o-clock Martian time. Have a nice day!  
-Praxis

 

 

 

 

_(Sacha)_  
what r u doin with ur old car?  
 _(Me)_  
Um, I’m not sure  
 _(Sacha)_  
give u 200 for it  
 _(Me)_  
Really? Why do you want my old car?  
 _(Sacha)_  
need a centerpiece for my show  
 _(Me)_  
Oh! Did you get in??? I’m so excited for you!  
 _(Sacha)_  
yeah thx but srsly can i have the car  
 _(Me)_  
Sure, but you have to figure out a way to move it  
 _(Sacha)_  
not a problem  
    _(Me)_  
Your confidence is mildly alarming

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos <=> practically-praxis

| practically-praxis:  
| Read More \-->

These are all good points, but…  
Read More -->

#my dumb headcanon #practically-praxis #is the best #at being wrong

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myshonok-deimos <=> turn-0f-mind

| turn-0f-mind:  
| Senseless Pel/Pri fluff for Deimos as promised: “The Fight”

You are a goddess of the keyboard! <3

#ssc fic rec #I am so drawing the Prince in those earmuffs #more scarves please

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subject: Sorry!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi Deimos! Sorry I missed you last night. I ended up staying over at my sister’s place because it got so late (thanks sis, no, I don’t mind watching your glitter-coated demon children for three hours later than you promised me you’d be out…  it isn’t like I work in the morning or anything…)  Haha, but! I should be online tonight at the usual time. I was thinking if you wanted you could always text me during the day. I usually check my phone during breaks and stuff. Anyway my number is 555- 870-3110 so message me anytime! Talk to you tonight  
\- Praxis

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos: Snowball Fight!!

#my art #inspired by turn-0f-mind’s wonderful fic #the martian prince #captain pelgrad

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            _(Me)_  
Testing testing, Mars to Earth, testing  
 _(Praxis)_  
Hi Deimos! I’ll save your number  
       _(Me)_  
Oh, hi! Are you eating lunch I guess?  
 _(Praxis)_  
Yes I am  
 _(Me)_  
What’cha having?  
 _(Praxis)_  
Some sort of casserole my sister made that has entirely too many peas in it  
   _(Me)_  
Trade you? I’m eating ramen  
 _(Praxis)  
_ That’s a little cliche of you  
    _(Me)_  
I know, right? And I’m wearing the same shirt for the third day in a row  
 _(Praxis)_  
Nice to see you’re adapting well to no classes or homework  
 _(Me)_  
I could get spoiled that’s for sure!  
 _(Praxis)_  
Will you be online tonight?  
 _(Me)_  
Yeah, I got your email. No worries about skipping out, I just did more work on the super secret drawing  
 _(Praxis)_  
Very excited for that  
      _(Me)_  
Only 4 more days until Christmas!  
 _(Praxis)_  
Also exciting!  I better get back to work though  
 _(Me)_  
Okay, ttyl! <3

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos: Finished the candy-color sugar sweetness that is my beloved Prince, patisserier extraordinary, from the fabulous fic by Tiberius, “Until I Met You”

#my art #star struck chronicles #the martian prince #captain pelgrad #why yes I started drinking at 5pm #don’t judge me #okay you should probably judge me

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Praxis: Hello!

Deimos: hhhiiiiiii

Praxis: I saw you finished the bakery drawing  
It’s so cute!

Deimos: NO YOU  
what?  
OH  
thanks :D

Praxis: Haha, enjoying your Friday night I see?

Deimos: somthing like that

Praxis: I’ll join you. Cracking open a beer right now

Deimos: kkssshhh!  
thats the sound it makes

Praxis: You’re uncannily accurate

Deimos: im also a muscian

Praxis: Really?

Deimos: no

Praxis: Oh, I was going to say.   
_Sent at 7:54 PM on Friday  
_ Actually my sister plays the trumpet

Deimos: which one?

Praxis: Bridget

Deimos: is she any good?

Praxis: I think I’m contractually obligated as her brother to say yes

Deimos: pfft

Praxis: Any special occasion to be drinking?

Deimos: not really  
lonely and bored I guess

Praxis: Aw  
Well!   
I’m here now

Deimos: yaaaaay

Praxis: And I have a surprise for you.

Deimos: really??

Praxis: Yeah, I was looking through my sister’s photo albums and found something for you  
Here, check your email  
 _Sent at 8:17 PM on Friday_

 

  

subject: Something to cheer you up  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

I would tell you not to laugh, but I guess that’s entirely the point

princesspartypic.jpg  
234K       View       Download

 

 

Deimos: OH MY GOD  
AHAHAHAHAHA  
SERIOULSLY?

Praxis: Haha, yup

Deimos: ohmygod  
nice… nice tiara, handsome

Praxis: Thanks  
This is what happens in a family full of girls

Deimos: are those your nieces?

Praxis: Yeah, it was Emily’s birthday

Deimos: when was this taken?

Praxis: In May, so, pretty recently

Deimos: you make a lovely princess

Praxis: I thought so

Deimos: ppffftttt

Praxis: Are you laughing at me? :)

Deimos: YES  
YES I AM

Praxis: Aaah. Haha. Fair enough!

Deimos: you’re a good sport to put up with it  
especially since pink isn’t your color

Praxis: She was very insistent  
I kept finding feathers and glitter from that boa for hours after I left

Deimos: woe to those who cross a 4 year old

Praxis: You have no idea  
 _Sent at 8:34 PM on Friday  
_ Hey so anyway, I wanted to ask you something

Deimos: sure!   
go for it

Praxis: Would you like to come spend Christmas with me?  
I’ve just been worrying about you spending it all by yourself :C  
I’d hate to think of you being lonely on Christmas, you know?

Deimos: uhhhh  
wait  
for real?

Praxis: Er, yeah?  
I mean.  
If you want to?  
 _Sent at 8:46 PM on Friday_

Deimos: um  
thats really nice of you to offer

Praxis: I was thinking you could maybe come up early and stay through? I don’t have to go back to work until Thursday  
 _Sent at 8: 57 PM on Friday  
_ My roommate won’t be here, so you can sleep in his room (I already asked, he said it was fine)   
Oh! And we can watch my copy of the SSC movie while you’re here!  
 _Sent at 9:03 PM on Friday_

Deimos: umm

Praxis: Oh, but, you don’t have to?  
I just thought I would offer

Deimos: umm  
oh, i cant leave tatiana for that long

Praxis: You could bring her, that’s fine. I like cats.

Deimos: um  
idk what to say  
 _Sent at 9:11 PM on Friday_

Praxis: I know it’s a bit weird to offer since we kind of just met/don’t exactly know each other IRL, but I’ve really enjoyed talking to you and getting to know you. You don’t feel like someone I’ve only known a short amount of time. And, you had such a rough semester and have been feeling out of sorts lately, and Christmas is an awful time to be all alone.   
I’m not even 3 hours away so, I wanted to offer.  
And I would like to meet you and get to spend time with you.   
Plus no one else will watch that silly movie with me

Deimos: aahhh   
what if you take my kidneys

Praxis: I promise I won’t take your kidneys

Deimos: asdfghjk  
 _Sent at 9:27 PM on Friday_

Praxis: If you don’t want to, that’s totally fine by the way. It won’t hurt my feelings at all.

Deimos: no I want to  
imean  
i really want to  
i just… cant  
sorry

Praxis: Why not? Is it your car again? I could come pick you up.

Deimos: no  
oh this is  
this is really awful

Praxis: What’s wrong?  
I didn’t mean to make you upset

Deimos: nnrrrrggg  
yay drunk

Praxis: Oh! I didn’t think about that  
We don’t have to talk about this now  
Oops

Deimos: no  
its fine  
aaahhhh  
so i think you’re really nice and everything  
and I like talking to you online  
 _Sent at 9:41 PM on Friday_

Praxis: There’s a ‘but’ coming up, isn’t there?

Deimos: so idk aaahhh  
blublublub im just typing gibberisj at this point

Praxis: A little bit :)  
Look, if you can’t, that’s okay. I just thought I would offer. I didn’t mean to make you so nervous.  
But whatever’s bothering you, you know you can tell me  
I won’t get mad or anything

Deimos: uummmm

Praxis: Tell you what, just think about it  
Don’t feel like you have to decide now, okay?  
We can talk about something else

Deimos: NO ILL DO IT  
there  
said it  
locked in place  
NO GOING BACK

Praxis: Haha, aw, it’s okay  
If you change your mind tomorrow when awake and sober, I won’t hold it against you or anything  

Deimos: no  
i will be there

Praxis: Really?

Deimos: yes

Praxis: I’m excited to meet you (again) IRL!

Deimos: yeah

Praxis: I’ll email you my address with directions and everything  
Oh, I guess there’s one thing I should tell you, just so it isn’t a surprise

Deimos: um ok?

Praxis: Okay, check your email  
 _Sent at 10:08 PM on Friday_

  

 

subject: Yaarrrr?  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

I will ask you not to laugh this time, please :)

thanksgiving2012.jpg  
427K       View       Download

 

  

Deimos: ???

Praxis: That’s the most recent photo of me I have

Deimos: oh

Praxis: Yeah  
Um, it happened back in October, that accident I had at work?  
My niece kept trying to tell me that Halloween was over and I didn’t have to be a pirate anymore

Deimos: oh

Praxis: It’s not a big deal or anything, I just didn’t want you to show up and not recognize me or, I don’t know, start shrieking in horror  
Not that I think you would  
I just haven’t shown you any pictures of me since the accident   
Sorry. I wasn’t trying to keep it from you  
I guess it’s kind of a weird thing I’m still adjusting to  
You’ve been so honest with me I figured I should do the same back to you  
My sister claims it makes me look tough? Haha.

Deimos: brb

Praxis: Oh, sure!  
 _Sent at 10:19 PM on Friday  
_ Everything all right?  
 _Sent at 10:58 PM on Friday_

Deimos: hi again

Praxis: Hey! I nearly texted you.  
Everything okay?

Deimos: yeah  
sorry

Praxis: It’s all right! Don’t apologize.

Deimos: bleh  
sorry  
got freaked out

Praxis: Oh  
About my eye? Sorry

Deimos: also very drunk  
what?  
no!  
no i dont care about your eye  
i mean i care you got hurt  
not  
asdfghjk

Praxis: Oh, okay :)  
I understand  
Are you drinking water? Have you eaten dinner?

Deimos: uhhhhh yeah moot point  
lots of blleeeehhhh-ing

Praxis: Oh, no!  
Take it easy on yourself :C  
I worry about you drinking so much  
Is something bothering you?

Deimos: everyyyythinnggg

Praxis: Aww  
Hey, why don’t you lie down?   
Maybe try to sleep  
I’ll be here tomorrow if you want to talk again.

Deimos: k  
niiiigiht <#

Praxis: Good night

 

 

 

subject: Christmas  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>   
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Hi. Good afternoon?  
Um, okay, sorry about last night for multiple reason. I was deplorably drunk before we even started talking and, yeah, I drank way too much last night and I know it. Consider me properly chastised and really really embarrassed, too. I’m so sorry. I had to look up our chat log in my email this morning just to see what the hell I even said.   
Which brings me to the main reason I need to apologize: I really can’t come see you this weekend for Christmas. I don’t know why I agreed and, ugh, I’m so ashamed that you guessed correct that I’d wake up sober and take it back. I will at least explain why here in a second because it ties into my next apology, which is dropping off like that so suddenly when we were talking. Especially after you told me about your injury and showed me the picture, etc. It honestly had nothing to do with how you look, I really don’t care – your sister’s right, it does make you look tough, in a very dashing kind of way. You’re still handsome and good looking and all that, so don’t be weirded out by it or think that I’m weirded out either. I’m not, really, that’s not why I spazzed and disappeared.   
What happened was that I had a terrible panic attack and, because I was so drunk, that meant a lot of kneeling on my bathroom floor. Very undignified, I’ll spare you the messy details. Not one of my better evenings. My memory’s in a lot of pieces, but I’ve got enough to know I just didn’t handle myself right. I’m really sorry, especially because now I have to go back on my promise and cancel on our plans.  
I mean it when I say that I want to come see you. Yeah, I’ve always wanted to see the made-for-TV movie and you’re probably about the only person ever to own a copy, but it’s more than that obviously. I’ve liked getting to know you, and I like talking to you. I’m grateful that you’d offer to spend Christmas with me because, you’re right, it does suck to be alone. No one’s ever online, and with Sacha gone I don’t have anyone IRL. I don’t have anyone else. I don’t have other friends, it’s just Sacha. (And my cat.) And you, obviously, because I goof around and send drunk asks to some of the girls, I even chat with a few of them, but you’re – well, you’re really amazing. You’re nice and funny, I like talking to you about SSC because we agree on nearly everything but still disagree just enough that it’s interesting. I like hearing about your life and I want to keep getting to know you better. Actually, I really like you. I really want to come visit you.   
I just can’t, and I’m sorry. Believe me, I’m sorry. It’s not fair of you to say I’ve been honest because I haven’t, I’m not like what you think. I’m nothing like what you think of me. I’m not a friendly or outgoing person. I don’t like talking to people. If we met IRL you’d hate me, so I’d rather just not. I can’t. Even now I’m shaky again at the idea of it. You’re someone I like, so I want to keep it that way. Or at least I hope we can still be friends.  
Sorry again,  
~ Deimos

 

 

 

subject: re: Christmas  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi Deimos, how are you feeling? I hope your hangover isn’t too severe. I’ve thought a lot about what you said in your email, and honestly I’m still confused. First let me say that if your answer is no then that’s fine, but please think about my offer, because I really hate the idea of you spending Christmas by yourself. I’ll be honest that I worry about you. I get the sense that you’re unhappy, and I think you’re someone who deserves to be happy so that’s distressing. I’m not sure what’s bothering you, but I’d like to help. I just want you to know that I’m here for you and want the best for you. You deserve it.   
So I’m reading back over your email and it seems like your reasoning is that I’ll start to dislike you if we meet? So I do want to address your concerns about that, because I don’t think that would be the case. I’m a bit at a loss as to what to say other than I think you’re wrong. Every interaction I’ve had with you has been the exact opposite of what you claim. You are a very open and friendly person, anyone can see that by reading your blog, and I’ve enjoyed all our conversations. I agree that it feels like we’ve known each other longer than what it’s really been. I look forward to getting your emails quite a bit. I don’t see how us meeting face-to-face would make a difference, but you could always bring your laptop so we can chat online from opposite ends of the house :)  
Maybe you feel nervous because you think that you don’t know me well enough, or that I don’t know you well enough. I mean, I think we know a lot about each other, but, okay. Hi, nice to meet you again, my name is Marcus. I’m 25 years old and work as an electrical supervisor at a shipyard. My interests include science fiction books and films, tinkering with electronics, and spending time with my family. I’ve been told that I have an old soul, but I like to think of myself as a classic. Someday I would to travel as I’ve never strayed very far from home. I’m bad at taking care of my yard, but I like to cook. I don’t like raw tomatoes but I like to eat tomato-y things like pizza and spaghetti. I’m a fan of seafood since I live near the water. Somehow I’m a bad swimmer. I think I’m naturally just not very buoyant. What else? Oh, I like to go for walks when I’ve got a problem I can’t solve, and I have a bad habit of doodling nonsense when I’m on the phone – like, I have a hard problem following the conversation otherwise. I like thunderstorms but hate when it’s raining and I have to go somewhere. I’m most comfortable at home and don’t like going out to bars or anything, which makes it hard to meet people sometimes. Oh, and, you already know this, but my favorite book is Beyond the Red Wastes, book 3 in the Star Struck Chronicles. I wanted to be an astronaut when I grew up, or a fireman. I think I just wanted to ride around on the truck all day with a dalmatian.   
So I guess that’s me in a nutshell, more or less. I think ultimately I’m just someone who wants to get to know you better, all the sides of you, if you’re really so different in person. No matter what happens with this weekend, if you come visit or you don’t, of course we’ll still be friends.  
\- Marcus (aka Praxis)

PS: I’m including my address and directions below if you change your mind again.

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos: Teaser of what I’ve been working on lately

#my dumb sketches #the martian prince #captain pelgrad #felix phillips #olivera #thom reed #lt seberu #no kit carson because secretly I love you

elisetales likes this  
glassstrawberries likes this  
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turn-0f-mind said: I’m hoping for gratuitous mistletoe action  
practically-praxis likes this

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos:

turn-0f-mind replied to your post:  _Teaser of what I’ve been working…_  
| I’m hoping for gratuitous mistletoe action

Hey, get out of my sketchbooks!

#my art #is predictable #deimos is derp

ships-that-never-sink likes this  
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turn-0f-mind likes this

 

 

 

_(Me)_  
Are you awake?  
 _(Praxis)_  
Yes, I am :)  
 _(Me)_  
So... Sorry again for being a spazz  
 _(Praxis)_  
I don’t think you’re a spazz. You don’t have to apologize.  
 _(Me)_  
Can you get online? I wanted to talk  
 _(Praxis)_  
I can’t, I’m sorry. I’m at my sister’s house. I’m watching the girls for her while she’s at a christmas party  
 _(Me)_  
Oh, okay.  
 _(Praxis)_  
I’ve already put them into bed though, so why don’t I just call you?  
         _(Me)_  
No, that’s okay. I’ll catch you when you get home?  
 _(Praxis)_  
Well, I planned to stay over. It’ll be late when she gets in I bet  
 _(Me)_  
Oh  
 _(Me)_  
Okay  
 _(Praxis)_  
Why? What’s up? _  
__(Me)  
_ Nothing, never mind  
 _(Praxis)  
_ Hmmm! Pardon my skepticism that it’s really nothing :)   
 _(Me)  
_ I was just thinking of changing my answer again about this weekend  
 _(Praxis)_  
Oh?  
 _(Me)_  
Would that be okay?  
 _(Praxis)_  
Of course!  
 _(Me)  
_ But you should know a little more about me first  
 _(Praxis)_  
Sure, go ahead?  
 _(Me)_  
So I’m pretty quiet IRL. If I don’t say anything, please don’t take it personally  
 _(Praxis)_  
Okay, I won’t. That’s easy enough :) Anything else?  
 _(Me)_  
I guess that’s it  
 _(Praxis)_  
Really? You’re shy IRL, that’s it?  
 _(Praxis)_  
No offense! I was worried there was more to it than that based on your email  
 _(Me)_  
Well it’s a big deal to me  
 _(Praxis)_  
No! I’m sure it is! I didn’t mean to sound flippant, sorry. I’m just relieved.   
 _(Praxis)_  
And excited that you’ve decided to come after all. It’ll be fun  
 _(Me)_  
Is it still okay if I bring Tatiana?   
 _(Praxis)_  
Sure, I’ll try and cat-proof the house tomorrow. When did you plan to get here?  
 _(Me)  
_ Um I don’t know, when do you want me to show up?  
 _(Praxis)_  
Anytime you like. Tomorrow or Monday, either’s fine just let me know  
 _(Me)_  
I’ll probably leave here just after I get up and around/ready tomorrow?  
 _(Praxis)_  
Sure that’s fine. Just call me when you get close or if you get lost  
 _(Me)_  
Okay I will  
 _(Praxis)_  
I’m glad you’re coming. I’m looking forward to it a lot  
 _(Me)_  
Me too but I’m still nervous  
 _(Praxis)_  
Aw, don’t be! :C  
 _(Me)_  
Well I’m not drunk this time, so hopefully I won’t change my mind again  
 _(Praxis)_  
I won’t hold it against you if you do  
 _(Me)_  
I’m going to try getting more drawing done tonight  
 _(Praxis)_  
I’ll probably head to bed soon anyway  
      _(Me)_  
Okay, good night <3  
 _(Praxis)_  
Night! Hey you’re still in my phone as Deimos by the way  
 _(Me)_  
Oh yeah you’re in mine as Praxis  
 _(Praxis)_  
It’s actually Marcus  
 _(Me)_  
I’m Aleks  
 _(Praxis)_  
Aleks! That’s a nice name :) Well then I will see you tomorrow, Aleks  
 _(Me)_  
See you tomorrow <3

 


	9. Chapter 9

After fifteen minutes of sitting in his car, Aleks finally texted Marcus to let him know he’d arrived. He might have sat out there longer if not for Tatiana, who had moved from soft growling snarls into plaintive meowing the longer she sat in her carrier with the car’s engine turned off. He peered anxiously at the white house as if the slightly faded paint and cement front steps could tell him anything. It was just a plain little home in a plain little neighborhood, quiet curved streets with sloped driveways, pretty much exactly like he imagined and nothing at all like his messy efficiency.

The front door opened to reveal Marcus, instantly recognizable from all the photos he’d sent, right down to the eye patch. He looked taller, that was about it, hard to judge height since he’d been seated in the pictures. Marcus waved to Aleks’ car, which was parked in the street, probably recognizing it from pictures as well. It made Aleks realize that when he did get out of the car, he’d be the unrecognizable one. His stupid cat was about the only thing recognizable about him, minus the sketchbook he’d brought, if you could even count that. Aleks tightened his hands over his phone and tried not to feel so panicked.

Marcus came down the porch steps in flip flops – flip flops in the middle of winter, although it’d been colder and snow still coated most everything where Aleks lived. There was no snow here, just a scraggly yard with frost-dead grass and a patch of stubborn ferns littering the bed beneath the lip of the porch. Aleks slipped his phone into his pocket, grabbed his keys from the ignition, and slowly got out the car.

He’d just gotten the cat carrier out of the passenger seat when Marcus caught up with him. “Hi, Aleks!” He had something of a low voice, bright on all the right notes while still seeming soft. “Wow, I’m so glad you’re here!”

Aleks looked down at domed plastic top of the carrier. Always on the small size for his age, Aleks felt ridiculous for only coming up Marcus’ shoulder. He knew he’d be nervous, he just didn’t expect to feel this terrified. He stood there for a moment debating whether Marcus would try to stop him if he hurled Tatiana back into the car and drove home instead.

“Oh, Is this Tatiana?”

Obviously, since she’d gotten curious and started to meow again, sounding chipper this time rather than sullen. Aleks turned the carrier around and lifted it some so Marcus could see the cat.

Marcus poked a finger through the grate. “You’re not so fat. The camera must add ten pounds.”

Aleks ducked his head more and felt grateful for the sweep of his bangs over his face. He lowered the carrier by the handle and reached into the car to get his backpack lifted by one strap.

“Need me to carry anything?”

Aleks nodded slightly and pointed to the backseat of the car where a paper grocery bag held all the things his cat would need for the next few days.  As Marcus got the bag out of the backseat, Aleks slung the backpack on to his shoulder. He locked the car and then waited for Marcus to start back toward the house so he could follow after him.

Marcus started to explain as they crossed the yard, “Aidan’s already left so you can just set up in his room. I thought you could put the cat box and her food or whatever in my office.” He took the steps easily, with Aleks a bit slower since he didn’t want to jostle the carrier too much. Tatiana’s gold-grey eyes peered at him with silent begging as she pushed her fat face against the grate.  He poked at her nose while Marcus held the screen door for them. “Go on in,” he said.

Aleks squeezed past him into the house. An impressive entertainment center took up almost one entire wall of the living room, just to his right, with a leather couch and armchair arranged around the coffee table. To his left was the dining table and kitchen with the counters clean and uncluttered, the table spotless. Aleks wondered if the neat order of things was typical or devised for his benefit. When he noticed Marcus kicking his flip-flops to the side, Aleks hastily slipped off his sneakers as well.

“I’ll show you where to put everything,” said Marcus. He started for the hallway that led off from between the two rooms. “Bathroom’s here, that’s my room at the end with the office just across – here, this is Aidan’s room.”

Aleks peered around the doorway at the bedroom. The clean and order of the house persisted her as well, with the bed neatly made and everything in the room put away. Everything except the desk, in which empty cups, scraps of paper, and assorted other bits of clutter crowded around a dual-monitored computer station. A bare patch in the middle and the lack of a tower indicated that the roommate, at least, owned a laptop. Aleks set his backpack down just inside the door and juggled Tatiana’s carrier around to get free of his heavy coat as well. He set the coat over the bed.

“Aidan said it’d be fine if you sleep in the bed, just don’t mess through his stuff or anything. I told him you wouldn’t.” Marcus tipped his head toward the end of the hall. “Did you want to get your cat settled, I guess?”

Aleks nodded and followed him to the office. His eyes lingered over the desktop computer and swivel chair. That was where Marcus sat to update his blog or talk online, and it seemed a little strange to be there seeing it. All of a sudden, the moment struck him as very surreal. Aleks hastily set the pet carrier down and kneeled to poke at Tatiana’s face through the grate. He looked and gestured some for Marcus to close the door.

Rather than just close the door like Aleks intended, however, Marcus set the grocery bag on the floor and said, “Okay. Whenever you’re ready,” before leaving. He closed the door after him at least, but Aleks hadn’t meant the gesture to shoo him away. He just didn’t want to risk Tatiana bolting out into the rest of the house right away.

Tatiana rubbed at his fingers and meowed, eager and maybe sounding a bit nervous. He quickly popped the wire clasp on the grate and pulled it open. The cat slid herself from the carrier slowly, cautious, ears and tail alert. She stretched to her toes, back arching, and then began to sniff at the carpet.

As his cat began a cautious exploration of the room, Aleks set up the food and water bowls that he’d brought and her litter pan. At the sound of dry food hitting the metal bowl, Tatiana abandoned her investigation of the desk to come eat. He petted at her while she did so, brushing long strokes over her back and making her tail whisk into the air. It made him smile a bit to see her so perfectly content so long as she had food, and Aleks to pet her while she ate.

Eventually she ate her fill, or at least enough to resume her curiosity about the room. He sat there and watched her poke around at the bookcase, the wastebasket, and the slumping pile of file folders. When she crouched beside the desk and stared up at it, Aleks realized what she meant to so. He got over to her just as she made a neat and graceful leap up to the computer.

When he picked up Tatiana, her momentary struggling kicked the wired mouse. The wide-screen monitor obediently switched from energy-saving black to the active desktop. Aleks paused for a moment as he recognized the background wallpaper as one of his own drawings, a Martian landscape he’d done in watercolor.

Aleks set Tatiana’s front paws over his shoulder and held her against him with one arm. It would keep her from further trouble as he carefully opened the office door. He could feel the tickle of her whiskers and fur against his neck as she shifted, eager to look around and take in all the newness. She remained docile, however, not fighting him to get put down. He carried her with him down the hall again, moving slow like he expected Marcus to jump out behind the furniture or something.

He found his host in the kitchen instead, getting a glass of water. Aleks hadn’t meant to sneak up on him, but evidently he had judging by the startled way Marcus spotted him and said, “Oh!”

Aleks stopped just in front of the fridge. The tip of Tatiana’s tail flicked over his ribs as she at last began to insist on being let down to explore. He dumped her to the tile and watched as she sniffed experimentally at the fridge. She rubbed herself up against it before seeming to notice Marcus and go after him, chirping slightly as she butted into his ankles.

“Oh, she’s so friendly,” said Marcus. He knelt down to pet her.

Aleks wanted to point out that it was just she suspected all people in kitchens to have food. True enough, Tatiana immediately tried to shove her face into the glass of water. Marcus pulled it away from her with a slight laugh. He looked up at Aleks. “Can I get you anything to drink? Are you hungry?”

He would like something to drink, but he wasn’t especially hungry. Aleks shook his head and watched Tatiana strain for the glass of water. He usually let her poke into all his cups just to confirm there wasn’t anything more exciting than water in them. He could hardly expect Marcus to offer the same silly sort of indulgence. Aleks snapped his fingers at her, so Tatiana swiveled her round face to him and then abandoned her efforts. She arched her back into Marcus’ hand instead.

Marcus seemed to frown slightly before giving the cat a final pat and then standing. “How was your drive? I guess you found the place okay?”

Aleks nodded. Tatiana wedged her head into the sliver of space between the cabinets and the tile, likely after some stray crumb or maybe a dead bug. He went over to her and nudged at her with his feet, pushing the toe of his sock between her face and whatever unknown prize she’d found. He kept looking down at her, watching her prod at the cabinets and rub against them, all the while painfully aware of Marcus watching him.

“Well,” said Marcus at last. “I thought we’d go out to eat for dinner – my treat – since I kind of forgot to get much in the way of groceries. What do you want to do until then? Anything in particular?”

Aleks shrugged. He nudged at Tatiana again, pushing her away from the pantry door before she could pry it open with her paw. He leaned a hand into the door to latch it closed.

“Uhm.” Marcus drawled it out a bit. The silence strained awkwardly between them for a moment. “Well, I got a new game with co-op mode. We can try to beat through it this weekend if you want. You play video games, right?”

Aleks looked up from the cat’s swishing tail and nodded. Marcus smiled warmly in return before heading for the entertainment center. Aleks picked up Tatiana and took her with him, even though he suspected she’d be unlikely to stay put once they started playing. He sat on one end of the couch and arranged her into his lap. Her ears flattened and rotated to express her crankiness. She immediately used his jean-clad thigh as a launch pad to get on to the coffee table.

Marcus dug at the plastic wrap around the game case, struggling for a moment before getting enough of a slit started to tear off the film. Marcus popped the game disc into the player and came to join him on the couch. He handed one of the controllers to Aleks.

“I’m not very good at this,” he warned. “The game system is actually Aidan’s.”

Aleks nodded without taking his eyes off the screen as he quickly scrolled through the system options to create a new player account using the name Deimos. The other accounts were Praxis and Ethos, the latter one assumedly the roommate’s. He logged in to the new account and then waited for Marcus to slowly log into his.

“You seem to know what you’re doing,” said Marcus. He smiled about it and lifted his hand up, tugging the string on his eye patch into a more comfortable position. Aleks tried not to stare. He pulled his eyes back to the screen to watch the intro.

 “I guess we’re fighting zombies?” Marcus arranged his fingers over the controller. “Sounds gruesome.”

Aleks quickly tapped up a new save file and assigned himself to the player one position. He thumbed through the available characters and chose the girl without thinking; her stats emphasized agility and speed, plus he liked the optional frying pan melee weapon. It was too late to back out of the selection screen, since Marcus was taking his turn picking a character. He thought maybe Marcus might comment on the fact Aleks had picked the girl to play, but he didn’t. Marcus chose the hero-looking average type with basic stats, which was probably for the best if he wasn’t adept at this.

Marcus started talking after the opening cut scene ended. “Do you like horror movies?”

Aleks shrugged and smashed the frying pan back and forth just to hear the dull _thunk_ sound effect. He ran after Marcus’ character to trigger the next fight sequence, and the sound effect changed into wet thuds as he started mowing down zombie foes with the frying pan.

“I never got to watch all that many growing up, on account of my sisters. My mom thought it’d be too scary for the girls. But can you believe Bridget is a horror movie nut? She loves them, the scarier and gorier the better. Oh, dang, I think I’m about to— Did you pick up that medkit? Can I have it?”

Aleks nodded and pulled up his inventory screen.

“Which button is that?” Marcus tilted the controller like maybe instructions were written underneath.

Aleks leaned across the empty cushion between them to show Marcus the right bumper. He tapped his finger at it, opening and closing the inventory.

“Oh, thanks. Okay, all patched up.” Marcus smiled. “You haven’t taken any damage yet, have you?”

Aleks shook his head and kept focused on the screen.

“Do you play a lot of video games?”

Aleks shrugged.

“You seem pretty good at it. Aidan plays a lot of games. There’s a racing game of his we could play later, if you’re not liking this. I mean, I’m having fun – watch out! Aha, that scared me.” Marcus laughed as enemies crashed through a boarded up building. Aleks’s character made short work of the ambush with her frying pan, however, circling around into the flank.

Marcus paused the game right before the mini-boss fight. He pushed up from the sofa. “I’m getting some more water, did you want anything?”

Aleks shrugged. His answer depended on what was available. He wouldn’t say no to just plain water, however. He followed Marcus into the kitchen, and Tatiana appeared soon after at a trotting kind of hurry with her furry belly trembling. She made a beeline to Marcus and worked herself around his ankles when he opened the fridge.

“I have…” Marcus surveyed the shelves. “Well, water. I think the milk’s still good, too. I wouldn’t trust the cranberry juice; I think Aidan drinks from the bottle since I don’t care for it. Uh, oh, hey. I have beer. Do you want a beer?”

Aleks nodded and accepted the glass bottle. He almost tore his palm on the cap before realizing it wasn’t a twist off, and that Marcus was already hunting an opener out of the drawer for him. Feeling a bit silly, he took the opener and pried off the cap. He offered it out to Marcus, thinking he might want a beer as well.

“Oh, none for me.” Marcus refilled his water glass. “I still need to drive later if we’re getting dinner. What do you think, leave once we get through the first level?”

Aleks shrugged. He looked at the front of the fridge and found a pizza delivery magnet. He tapped at it a few times until he had Marcus’ attention. By the pulled together line of his brow, Marcus clearly didn’t understand what Aleks was suggesting. He came over to look, and Aleks pointed at the magnet again.

“Oh. But, you don’t want to go out?”

Aleks shrugged again. It didn’t especially matter to him, but he did have a slight preference to staying in rather than going out to eat. He couldn’t imagine it being very enjoyable to sit in silence over the table together anyway.

“Are you sure?”

Aleks turned his chin into his shoulder, sort of shrugging and sort of nodding. He took a swig of his beer and then crouched to pet Tatiana as she stalked past. She had her tail up, clearly disappointed that no one was feeding her, that she’d come all the way into the kitchen only to leave unfed. He scratched behind her collar until she forgave him.

Marcus pulled his cell phone from his pocket. “Well, sure. Pizza’s fine with me. Any preference on toppings, or is just pepperoni okay?”

Aleks nodded without looking up from the contented look on his cat’s round face as he rubbed her scruff. She lifted her chin into his hand and began to purr. As Marcus called in their order, Aleks opened the fridge and gestured with the beer bottle. Marcus flashed him a quick thumbs up and kept speaking into his phone. Aleks snagged another beer for him and broke it open. He waited until Marcus hung up before giving it to him.

They went back into the living room to keep playing the video game while waiting for the pizza. Aleks set his bottle on the coffee table’s wood surface but noticing Marcus using a coaster prompted him to quickly snag one out of the pronged holder in the center of the table. He hastily rubbed the small bit of condensation off the polished wood with the side of his thumb. Aleks glanced sideways at Marcus to see if he noticed, but his attention was focused on the small cut scene that followed the mini-boss fight.

Marcus glanced down at his hands as if to check their position against the buttons before the cut scene ended. They played for a bit in focused silence before he started talking again. “Hey, this is pretty fun,” he said. “I’m really glad you decided to come, Aleks.”

Aleks nodded and hastily tapped the attack button to beat back an onslaught of enemies. The sound effect from the frying pan smacking into zombies made him bite his lip around a smile. 


	10. Chapter 10

Deimos: hey  
is tatiana in there with you?  
 _Sent at 11:03 PM on Sunday_

Praxis: Oh, hello! Yes, she is. She’s looking at me right now actually.

Deimos: really? ok thanks

Praxis: Is everything okay?

Deimos: yeah I just didnt know where she was  
 _Sent at 11:11 PM on Sunday_

Praxis: Hey, Aleks?

Deimos: yeah?

Praxis: Are you glad you came here?

Deimos: sure  
thanks for having me  
…that sounded way less sincere than I meant it!

Praxis: Haha, well, good. I’m glad you’ve had fun so far :)  
 _Sent at 11:38 PM on Sunday  
_ You know I’m not actually that tired, hence why I’m on the computer… Did you want to play more of that video game?

Deimos: nah im working on some drawings for xmas  
thanks though

Praxis: So do you mind if I ask?

Deimos: ask what?

Praxis: Well, you know.

Deimos: how delightfully vague

Praxis: Guilty as charged :)  
 _Sent at 11:46 PM on Sunday_

Deimos: okay okay putting the tablet down and giving you my full typing attention  
whats up?

Praxis: Oh, nothing. It’s all right. I’m feeling tired after all. I’m just working on one last thing before going to bed :)

Deimos: I bet I can guess what you wanted to ask

Praxis: Oh, yeah?

Deimos yup  
you want to know why i didnt say anything today

Praxis: Guilty twice as charged. Sorry if that’s rude? :C

Deimos: no its ok  
i dont blame you for being curious

Praxis: I’ve just been sitting here wondering if I did anything wrong. Like if you’re giving me the IRL silent treatment on purpose? 

Deimos: no! course not

Praxis: Nothing like you plan to wait until I’m asleep and then sneak out in the middle of the night or something, is it?

Deimos: no!  
I just …  
dont talk, ok?  
its not you 

Praxis: Oh, okay :D

Deimos: i still think you’re great  
not going to swipe all your shit in the night and flee  
promise

Praxis: Haha, well, that’s a relief! I like my stuff ;)  
And I still think you’re great. I’m glad you’ve been having fun so far.

Deimos: aw yay <3  
 _Sent at 12:02 AM on Monday_

Praxis: Hey, Aleks?  
  
Deimos: yeah?  
  
Praxis: Do you want to watch the SSC movie tomorrow night?

Deimos: i thought you were going to your sisters for christmas eve?  
to sneak the presents from santa under the tree or whatever

Praxis: Believe it or not I actually did my Christmas shopping already. Uncle Marcus picked out his own presents this year.

Deimos: yeah thatd be great! watching the movie I mean  
heh, you still pop up as praxis on my uchat

Praxis: I still have you as Deimos :)  
Oh, I just checked my blog. You uploaded another drawing!

Deimos: yup  
aw thanks for the like and reblog

Praxis: Is this what you were working on just now? I feel partway responsible for this.

Deimos: lol kinda  
well okay its officially martian time now  
that makes it way past your bedtime 

Praxis: I know. I’ll go crawl into bed.  
Will I see you for breakfast?

Deimos: will there be coffee?

Praxis: Yes, I can make you coffee :)

Deimos: then I will be there  
lured by the precious nectar of the caffeine gods

Praxis: Haha, okay, good. Well I’ll try not to wake you at unholy Earthling hours  
Goodnight, my Martian Prince  
  
Deimos: pffffft  
shameless flattery will get you nothing

Praxis: And by nothing you mean everything? I know you love shameless flattery ;D

Deimos: its true i totally do  
night! <3 <3 

_Praxis is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Praxis comes online._

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos: Some sketches! I promise I’m still working on Christmas stuff too and not just this zombie-fighting AU crack 

#my art #deadliest frying pan ever #the martian prince #captain pelgrad

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_(Me)_  
 _Hey are you awake?_  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _what the fuck do u think_  
 _(Me)_  
 _So I’ll take that as a yes. How is it at your sister’s?_  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _bitch still cant drink me under the table but doesnt stop her trying_  
 _(Me)_  
 _Are you texting me from under the table? lol_  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _no im in bed_  
 _(Me)_  
 _It’s not even one and you’re in bed? Color me shocked_  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _haha fuck u_  
 _(Me)_  
 _Anytime darling <3_  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _u drunk?_  
 _(Me)_  
 _Not really. I had some beer earlier but not enough to get shitfaced. I could probably drive if I had to_  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _fuck the police_  
 _(Me)_  
 _Something like that. What are your plans for tomorrow?_  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _the fuck u care_  
 _(Me)_  
 _Just making conversation? I’m bored and can’t sleep_  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _play with chunky_  
 _(Me)_  
 _Tatiana? She’s in the other room still I think…_  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _what other room ur apartment is tiny as shit_  
 _(Me)_  
 _Oh, nothing_  
 _(Me)_  
 _Are you going to sleep then?_  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _yeah_  
 _(Me)  
_ _Oh, okay. Goodnight._

 

Aleks flopped a hand into the warm, purring lump that Tatiana made where she curled beside his pillow. He scratched softly at her furry belly as he woke. It took a bit of laying there in drowsy confusion before Aleks could piece together why he wasn’t in his own bed. Aleks stopped petting Tatiana and sat upright. She protested with a stretching yawn, pushing at his hand with her paws as if to restart the caresses. He smiled a little and ruffled her tummy until it pissed her off enough to take a swipe at him. 

Aleks dug his phone out from the bedding to check the time and winced at seeing it was nearly noon. There was a new text message from his host, a single ‘Good morning?’ sent just after nine. Aleks set his phone aside with a guilty bite of his lip. So much for his promise to Marcus that he’d be awake for breakfast.

Tatiana watched from the bed as he set about getting dressed in whatever the fuck first things he grabbed out of his backpack. He snatched her up to carry out from the bedroom with him.  The door was gaped open a Tatiana-sized amount, and his cheeks felt warm at the idea that Marcus may have come peeking in through when his text-message alarm failed.

Carrying Tatiana, Aleks went out into the living room and found it empty. He checked the kitchen as well before heading down the hall toward Marcus’s office. The door was closed, so he knocked softly.

“Come in!” Marcus called.

Aleks pushed the door open a little. Tatiana meowed loudly and wiggled free of his hold. She landed with a soft thump and scurried to her food dish. She started up plaintive meowing at discovering it empty, and Aleks rolled his eyes at her for it before remembering Marcus. He shot a guilty look over at him and waved a little.

Marcus smiled. “Hey, good morning! Well, sort of. You still have ten minutes left of morning.”

Aleks winced and shrugged apologetically. He went over to get Tatiana’s breakfast scooped out for her.

Marcus just laughed a little and rose up from his computer chair. “It’s okay. Did you still want coffee? I can make you some.” 

Aleks nodded eagerly and gave Tatiana’s tail a final, whisking stroke before getting to his feet. She continued to purr, pleased beyond all comprehension as ever at having a bowl full of food and Aleks to pet her while she ate it 

Marcus motioned Aleks out of the office and back toward the kitchen. “Did you sleep okay?” he asked. 

Aleks shrugged. He hadn’t, but it’d be rude to answer with that and then not explain what he meant. He stood in the kitchen watching as Marcus dumped the cold coffee and set about brewing a fresh pot. Had he known there was coffee already made, even cold coffee, he wouldn’t have bothered Marcus with starting over. It was his fault for sleeping in so late. Well, not late for him really…

“You know,” Marcus said. “I was thinking, for tonight, maybe we should get more beer? I only have a couple left in the fridge. If you wanted, after you’ve had a chance to wake up a bit more, we could go to the store? “

Aleks tried to nod his agreement, but Marcus was turned away to mess with the coffee maker. He waited for him to turn around.

“Oh, but, if you don’t want to go…? You can stay here and I’ll go. Doesn’t matter. I can pick up something for dinner at the same time. Which did you want to do?” Marcus pulled a mug down from the cabinet and gave it a careful, frowning lookover before putting it back. The next mug he pulled down passed inspection, evidently, since he set it beside the coffee maker. Finally he turned enough to look at Aleks, who was staring at him with a bit of exasperation.

“Oh,” Marcus said. An awkwardness passed between them. “Right. Sorry. Did you want to go to—“

Aleks started nodding before he finished the question. Marcus eased a grimacing smile at him. Aleks looked away as if fascinated by the stupid fridge magnets and a half-filled grocery list. Behind him came the sound of the coffee brewing, and he only turned around again once it stopped.

Marcus offered him the mug full of coffee with another small smile. “Here you go. One nectar of the caffeine gods for you.”

The corner of Aleks’s mouth half-lifted with a matching smile. He took hold of the fridge handle with a bit of a questioning look, so that Marcus told him to go ahead. Aleks found a pint of half-and-half and splashed a little into his coffee. While he did that, Marcus brought over the sugar and a spoon. Aleks glanced at him with a bit of surprise. He wanted to ask if Marcus just assumed he’d want sugar, or if he’d mentioned during one of their chats that was the way he took his coffee. Or maybe it was the way that Marcus took his coffee, and he just assumed Aleks did the same? Aleks hardly knew what to do with so many questions.

“Is the coffee okay?” Marcus asked. His brow furrowed as if concerned, and it made Aleks realize he was just staring down at the creamy-beige surface of his coffee. He startled up a small smile at Marcus and nodded. He sipped at the coffee and nodded again to reassure Marcus that it tasted heavenly.

“If we’re going to the store, I better get presentable,” Marcus said. 

Aleks ran a quick look over him and put a brow up as If to point out that he looked fine for a store run. Aleks often pushed a cart around the grocery store at odd hours in odd manners of sloppily dressed. Marcus wore lounge pants, white socks, and a plain t-shirt. That was nearly two more garments than the typical shopper on some occasions.

“I’ve got a shower in my room, it’s the master bedroom, but you can use the one in the hall if you want,” Marcus suggested.

Aleks sipped at his coffee again. Apparently showering was required for going to the store. Marcus smiled some and reached up to adjust his eye patch, so that Aleks hastily looked elsewhere lest he come across as rude. He stood in the kitchen to finish his first coffee and then drank another cup as well. He rinsed the mug out in the sink before setting it aside.

Tatiana met him back in his borrowed bedroom and wound herself around his ankles with a chipper meow. Aleks bent down to scratch behind her collar with a smile. He’d been worried she would be too stressed from the car trip or perhaps skittish of the new surroundings, but he was relieved that didn’t seem the case.

With a final pat on her chubby little tummy, Aleks rose back to his feet and scrounged through his backpack for the ziploc bag of toiletries he’d brought. Why the hell had he brought tiny shampoo? Did he think Marcus wouldn’t let him swipe some out of the shower? Aleks tossed the bag back in disgust. Awkward didn’t even begin to cover this trip so far. At least Tatiana seemed to be enjoying herself. Maybe Marcus had fed her bits of breakfast on the sly.

Aleks went across the hall to the bathroom and set about getting the shower started. He found towels piled up in a cubby of shelves beneath the narrow, frost-glass window. Tatiana tried to follow him into the bathroom, but he pushed her into the hall and closed the door on her indigent, whisker-twitching face. It was a mistake, and one Aleks ad cause to regret as he stood in the shower later lathering his hair.

The cat’s plaintive meows started slow and then rose in a crescendo into full-out sulky yowls. She dug at the bottom of the door with the vain attempt at catching it open, and Aleks began to fear she would damage the wood if he let her keep it up. He tried snapping and then clapping, but she ignored him. Aleks frowned and swiped the shower curtain aside to step dripping on to the bath mat. He remembered to snag the towel and had it kind of held up against himself with one hand as he jerked open the door to glare at his stupid, whiney cat.

He glared at Marcus instead, who had arrived out from his own shower to see about the fuss. His towel was wrapped around his waist properly, unlike Aleks’s lazy clutched-together modesty. Marcus was still mostly wet, golden-tanned skin above and below the white stripe of concealment. Worst of all, as Aleks’s horrified gaze unwittingly skipped up the length of his host, Marcus was bereft of his eye patch, which he’d obviously taken off to shower. Aleks tried not to stare. It was fucking impossible not to.

Oh, God.

“Oh,” said Marcus. He took a swift step back from where he’d been about to kneel beside the cat. “Oh, sorry, I’d heard Tatiana—“

Tatiana, the entire source of the mess, stalked off as if nothing had ever happened. She was bailing, plain and simple, leaving Aleks standing there in scarlet-faced shame. He jerked back and slammed the door between them without thinking.

“Aleks?” Marcus called from the other side, after a slight delay.

Heart-pounding, Aleks stayed leaned up against the door. He brought the hem of the towel up higher and then pressed his face into it. With any luck the heat from his face wouldn’t set the cloth on fire. Or maybe it would, and the fire could serve as a distraction from the utter ruin of the moment. Oh, God. Oh, God.

“Hey, Aleks? … Sorry about that. I didn’t… see anything. Uh. Well, Tatiana seems okay now out here so I’ll just… finish getting dressed.”

Only when reasonably sure Marcus didn’t intend to invade the bathroom did Aleks throw the towel down and hurry back into the shower. He rinsed the lather out from his hair and sloppily slicked conditioner through it as well. It probably met some record for fastest last half of a shower ever. He shucked back into his same jeans and hooded sweatshirt as before and then just stood there shamelessly hiding for a very long time.

Aleks finally pulled the door open and crept out of his hiding place. He found Tatiana curled up on the bed napping, a furry lump of traitorous innocence. Of Marcus there was no sign, but he could hear the television in the front part of the house. Aleks rushed the bed and woke Tatiana up by virtue of burying his face into her belly. She tolerated it for a few minutes before fussing away from him and seeking out his hand to pet her. She butted demandingly against where his fingers knotted the sheets, so that reluctantly Aleks had to relax his hold and give her a little scratch behind the collar.

He puttered around the room and then crept across the hall into the bathroom again. He stood there pretending like there was anything left for him to do besides brush his teeth and run his fingers through his long bangs a little to help fluff them dry. Aleks stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. Maybe he ought to swap out his sweatshirt for something else. He hadn’t really brought anything else except some shirts. He didn’t even like this sweatshirt, it was just that it fit and was warm. Aleks pulled his away from his scrawny chest and then let go so that it engulfed him again in a shapeless slouch of fabric.

“Hey, Aleks?” called Marcus from the hall.

Aleks popped out of the bathroom to catch Marcus hovering around the guest bedroom door. He startled him on accident, judging by the slight jolt Marcus made as he turned. He needed to turn a bit further than usual, given the eye patch, and Aleks recalled with a slight flash of horror that he’d just so recently seen the wrinkled scar of skin beneath.

“Oh. Hey. ….Are you ready to go?” Marcus asked. “Or, I mean, I can just go. By myself. To the store, that is.”

Aleks hastily dropped his eyes down and shrugged. To make his answer more clear, he edged forward and slipped around Marcus to head toward the front door. After a slight delay, Marcus grabbed his keys and wallet off the table to follow him. Aleks glanced down to see Marcus had on sneakers, rather than flip-flops, even though it seemed a few degrees warmer than it had yesterday. A bright blue stretch of cloudless sky seemed to go on forever above them.

“Guess the girls won’t be having a white Christmas,” Marcus commented.

Aleks shrugged a little at that. It was probably snowing back at his apartment. Good thing he remembered the leave the kitchen faucet dripping a little. One winter he’d gone off with Sacha and forgot about it, so by the time he returned two days later the pipes had burst. He turned his head some from the window, suddenly aware of Marcus looking at him. Precisely caught in the act, Marcus hastily turned the ignition over to start the car.

The short drive to the store passed in intermittent silence. Marcus pointed out a few landmarks, none of them spectacularly exciting, but Aleks pretended to care about the highway ramp Marcus took to work or the building that had once been his first apartment.

Once they reached the store, Marcus pointed Aleks toward the back wall. “Did you want to pick out the beer? Get whatever your favorite is, and I’ll grab some groceries real quick.”

Aleks nodded and took off in the indicated direction. He looked over the selection only briefly before snagging a case of something cheap. On his way up to the front, Aleks stopped to detour through the school supplies. Sometimes even big chain stores like this carried his preferred type of ink pen. Aleks set the case of beer between the shelf and his hip for balance as he rifled through the packages. No luck. He scooped the beer back under his arm and walked the rest of the way to the front.

Did Marcus mean for him to buy the beer, or just pick it out? Aleks couldn’t remember. He did have a little bit of cash on him, but he’d been hoping to stretch it until after New Year’s, and there was no way in hell Sacha would be picking up the tab for their party supplies.

 

 

_(Me)_  
Hey, should I check out? I have the beer and I’m at the registers.  
 _(Marcus)_  
 _I’m in frozen foods. Do you like ice cream?_  
 _(Me)  
_ _You ask that as if the answer could possibly be no. Okay, heading your way._

 

 

Aleks pocketed his phone and lugged the case of beer across the store again. He dumped it into the cart before joining Marcus at staring through the glass case at carton labels.

“How’s just vanilla?” Marcus asked. “Or we could get French vanilla. Do you know what the difference is between that and vanilla bean, besides the color?”

Aleks gave him an incredulous look and pulled open the freezer case. He snagged a pint of double-fudge chunk and then dropped it into the cart.

Marcus laughed some. “Point taken. I’m not a huge chocolate fan…” He leaned past Aleks to grab a different pint for himself, but at least it was strawberry swirl and not plain fucking vanilla. He smiled at Aleks and then started shoving the cart toward the front.

Aleks pulled his phone out again when they were standing in line.

 

 

_(Me)_  
 _Misters Ben and Jerry are officially rolling in their graves that you suggested vanilla for a drinkathon sleepover party. What, are you 25 or 250?_

 

 

Aleks fired off the text and then stood there watching Marcus from the corner of his eye. He fiddled at his phone as if sending another text to someone else when he was in fact just waiting.

After a little delay, Marcus dug his phone from his front pocket and opened it. A smile broke over his face as he read the message. “I don’t think Ben and Jerry are dead. Actually, are they even real people?” he asked Aleks.

_(Me)  
_ _Probably. They’re probably super fat too. Oh hey look they’re on the back of the carton_

 

 

Marcus took the pint from Aleks and turned it around so he could see. “Oh, you’re right.”

 

 

_(Me)  
_ _What’d you get for dinner?_

 

 

“I was thinking of just making spaghetti and meatballs? I mean, it’d just be sauce from a jar and some frozen meatballs… I’m not the best cook. Family full of girls ended up getting me pretty helpless in the kitchen.”

 

 

_(Me)  
_ _I live on a diet of frozen pizza and ramen. You are like a god of cooking to me_

 

 

Marcus laughed and closed his phone. He stuck it back in his pocket to start loading up the conveyer belt with their groceries. Aleks jumped to help and pushed the cart down to the end to wait while Marcus paid.

_(Me)_  
 _Cashier’s eyefucking me. Probably thinks I’m your underage brother you’re buying beer for. I always get my ID checked_  
 _(Me)_  
 _He just took once glance at you and typed in some bullshit date. How many people do you think were born on 1-1-1900 according to registers_  
 _(Me)_  
 _And porn sites_  
 _(Me)_  
 _Not that I’d know anything about those_  
 _(Me)_  
 _Someday I’m going to learn to unsend messages_  
 _(Me)  
_ _Suppose I could ram this cart into as hard as I could and tackle you for your phone and delete the messages before you see them_

 

 

Aleks had to wait until they were walking out to the car for Marcus to thumb through his messages. He laughed as he read them and then set the phone aside for the moment to load up the trunk with their bags. Aleks started to write out another message but held shy. Marcus needed to drive. He helped sling the case of beer into the trunk and then went around to the side so he could climb into the passenger seat.  The drive back to Marcus’s house passed in pleasant quiet punctuated by the quick tap-tap-tap of Aleks’s phone.

 


	11. Chapter 11

myshonok-deimos: VHS, check. VCR, check. Beer, check. Ready your feels. It’s SSC movie time.

#my life #text post spam #gpoy #you can tell this isn’t my house by the lack of clutter

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myshonok-deimos: Oh, my God. This is glorious. The intro credits alone are inducing catatonic feels.

#SSC movie night #I need this song like now

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turn-0f-mind said: Is it everything you dreamed it would be?

 

 

myshonok-deimos:

turn-0f-mind replied to your post: Oh, my God. This is glorious. The intro…  
| Is it everything you dreamed it would be?

Words cannot describe how much this meets and exceeds my dreams

#SSC movie night

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myshonok-deimos: This would make a great drinking game.

#SSC movie night  #no seriously this is a good idea #or really bad one #yolo

felixity said: your christmas eve is way more exciting than mine  
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myshonok-deimos: Rule number three is drink when Kit Carson says anything remotely useful besides “Oh my gosh!” and “Gee whiz, captain!”

#SSC movie night #kit is kinda gay #in other news I guilty ship pelgrad/kit in like five years

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felixity said: I am never letting you live that last tag down

 

 

myshonok-deimos:

felixity replied to your post: Rule number three is drink when Kit Carson…  
| I am never letting you live that last tag down

Bring it!

#SSC movie night #chibify my rage #I doodle so well on a touch screen

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turn-0f-mind said: oh my god deimos pfffft this is great!  
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myshonok-deimos: OHGOD THE MARTIAN SEQUENCE IS SO BREATHTAKING AND TRAGIC AND FEEEEEEEEEELS asdfhgjhkjl;

#SSC movie night #so many feels #drowning in feels #blublublub

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turn-0f-mind said: meanwhile on planet Deimos…  
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myshonok-deimos: DRINKING GAME RULE DRINK IF FEELS PRINCE MARS FEELS BLUUUUUB

#SSC movie night #FEEEEEEEELS

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starstruckwonder said: are you going to survive the night, my lovely??

 

 

myshonok-deimos:

starstruckwonder replied to your post: DRINKING GAME RULE DRINK IF FEELS PRINCE…  
| are you going to survive the night, my lovely??

cHALLENGE ACCEPTED

#I SUSPECT MY CAPSLOCK BROKE #CHECK THESE EMPTIES #fpoy #my fat silly kitty #tATIANA GET OUT OF THe oh theres my capslock off

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Aleks knew he was too many beers in for what they were attempting, that wasn’t about to make him call quits. Marcus swept the video game controllers and both their coasters off the table’s surface to clear it before plunking down the frost-coated bottle of rum he’d dug out from the back of his freezer. Aleks sunk bonelessly off the couch cushions to kneel on the floor next to him.

“Okay,” Marcus declared. “What’d we decide were the rules again?”

Aleks leaned over and slapped at the couch cushion to bounce and drag his phone within grabbing distance. He pulled up his recent text messages and then thrust the phone out toward Marcus.

Marcus took it from him. “Okay,” he said. He peered at the screen and then read aloud, “’Drink when there are prince feels’ – Aleks, we’ll die if we do that one.”

Aleks shook his head and pushed at Marcus’s shoulder.

“I’m not the lightweight! You are,” he protested.

Aleks put a silent scoff at him for the way the words slurred.

It made Marcus laugh. “Okay. Fine. We’ll say it’s a drink for _overwhelming_ prince feels. Next rule, ‘drink if Kit Carson says something useful.’ That seems doable. ‘Drink if Olivera cleavage’ – because that’s something we’re going to notice. I had a rule, too, about the Captain? Oh, right. Drink when he does something heroic.”

Aleks nodded. He grabbed for the VCR remote and punched the rewind button. They’d paused at the end of the movie to scrounge for materials to make it a drinking game. Marcus opened the rum and poured the two shot glasses with a half-measure in each.

Marcus read the rest of Aleks’s suggestions from the one-sided text message conversation and then got up to grab a pad of paper and pen. By the time he finished writing the rules out for them, Aleks had the movie set back to the opening credits.

Aleks pushed up from the floor and went into the kitchen to get another beer.

“None for me,” Marcus called after him.

Aleks ignored him and came back with two cans anyway. He dropped one on to Marcus’s lap as he sat.

“Enabler,” Marcus accused. “Tomorrow my nieces are going to be shrieking over presents and poor Uncle Marcus will be laid up in the corner nursing a hangover. They always make me tear open all those impossible plastic security devices, too.”

Aleks grabbed for his phone but realized Marcus still had it. He threw a hand on to Marcus’s knee for balance as he leaned over to snatch it. Once he had it reclaimed, Aleks peered down at the screen and typed quickly.

 

_(Me)  
What’d you get them forFEELSFEELSDRINK!_

 

Aleks abandoned his phone and snatched up his shot glass.

Marcus reached to stop him with a short laugh. “I said overwhelming feels!” Marcus protested.

Aleks made a mock swoon and pointed at the television.

“It’s just the opening credits. Just because – oh, all right, all right.” Marcus let go of Aleks’s arm and then picked up his glass as well. “I guess the point of a drinking game is to drink.”

The rim of Aleks’s shot glass chimed off from Marcus’s as he forced them into a cheery toast. He downed his with aplomb, but Marcus choked into startled coughing that made Aleks hide a grin behind his beer bottle. He leaned over to elbow him playfully.

“No, I just – swallowed wrong,” Marcs protested. Aleks rolled his eyes at the excuse. Marcus laughed and refilled their glasses.

Aleks shook his head and put his attention back at the movie. He searched for his phone and then started typing messages to Marcus again.

“Oh, wait, where’s my …?” Marcus twisted to search between the couch cushions as he looked for his phone. After a moment’s delay, Aleks realized that Marcus really couldn’t find his phone. He messaged it again and then called as well.

“I really don’t know where it could be,” Marcus said. “Sorry.”

Aleks shrugged and handed Marcus his phone so he could see the latest message. He pointed excitedly at the television as Olivera made her first appearance, with gratuitous cleavage, and they both downed another shot. Marcus managed better but still laughed his way through a cough.

“Aidan’s going to wonder where all his rum went. I’ll owe him a bottle after this.”

Aleks snorted a laugh and typed his response. He leaned heavily against Marcus to show him the screen. _You’ll owe him half a bottle. Dibs on helping you clear the first half!_

“You little lush,” Marcus accused.

Aleks put up a brow and made an overly exaggerated seduction with the beer bottle as he drank from it, so that Marcus laughed and pushed at his shoulder to get him to stop. They joked and continued to drink like that through the first act of the movie. When it reached the scenes on Mars, though, Aleks quieted down to watch in a bit of awe.

 _It’s really beautiful_ , he texted to Marcus. _And the Prince looks so…_

“Yeah,” Marcus agreed quietly. He handed the phone back to Aleks. “You really like the Prince, huh?”

Aleks nodded without taking his eyes from the screen. It was the part of the movie where the Prince told the story of the fallen Martian world as he led Captain Pelgrad on a tour of the palace ruins. It was one of Aleks’s favorite scenes in the books. He’d noticed they’d given the Prince a little theme song as well, something softly sad featuring a lot of long, wavering strings.

Marcus leaned in close all of a sudden, or so it seemed to Aleks. He startled back a little. “Are you _crying_?” Marcus asked.

Aleks hastily touched at his damp cheeks. He fumbled his phone up and tapped out, _FEEEEEELS_ , before spinning the screen up so Marcus could see.

Marcus stared at the message for a moment before starting to laugh. “Aleks!” he said, almost like chiding him. “I told you making that a drinking game rule would be entirely too much.”

Aleks smiled some and scrunched up his face as if to laugh as well, except he was silent.

Marcus reached to cup Aleks’s face and started brushing at the tears with his thumbs. “Stop!” he said around another laugh. “You’re not a mopey drunk, are you? Get hold of your feels! Stop having feels!”

Aleks shook his head a little and then did laugh, an actual noise, just a short self-deprecating chuckle. The noise made Marcus’s expression change out of laughter and into surprise, although it was nothing compared to the shocked look when Aleks suddenly surged forward to kiss him. Their lips had been quite close, and Marcus’s warm, slightly-callused palms were still cradling his face.

For a half-second, neither of them moved. Aleks popped his eyes open to stare into the Marcus’s patched-over, wide-eyed astonishment. Aleks started to jerk his face away with a soft, breathless gasp, but Marcus caught him with a gentle insistence. His eye moved over Aleks with a bit of rapid searching before he leaned in again. Aleks tipped back into the kiss with a fluttery sigh.

Marcus’s large hands ran along Aleks’s thin arms and then gripped his shoulders. Aleks bent willingly under the caress. His head spun with the tipsy-whirling of being way too drunk and being oh-so-thoroughly – wow, could Marcus kiss. Aleks’s breath came a bit quicker and strained his ability to breathe and kiss at the same time.

“Is this…?” Marcus started to ask. “Mmn…?” The rest of his question faded into a humming moan as Aleks pushed his fingers through Marcus’s glossy dark hair.  It was thick, like it looked, and delightful like velvet beneath his exploring hands.

A delightful play of muscles flexed against Aleks’s hand as he felt along Marcus’s shoulders and back. He pushed at the fabric of his shirt and teased his touch around his waist while they continued to kiss. Marcus felt so… good. That was as far as Aleks’s drunk logic went. It just felt _good_ to touch and kiss him.

Marcus parted from him enough to pull Aleks to his feet. Aleks snatched his phone before following Marcus to an upright position. He swayed into Marcus and leaned heavily against his chest, up on his tiptoes to see about kissing him further.

“Do you want…?” Marcus started to ask. The savoring press of Aleks’s lips against his muffled the rest of the question and served to give an answer. Marcus groaned softly and gathered Aleks close.

“Mmn.” Marcus tried to speak again despite the eager flurry of kisses from Aleks. “I couldn’t believe – how cute you were when you got out of your car yesterday. I thought you were cute online, I mean, the way you – but – mmn – wow.” Marcus chuckled softly and nuzzled his nose against Aleks’s in a way that made him stop kissing to smile. Cute? Marcus thought he was _cute_? He latched his arms around Marcus’s neck and squeezed tight.

Empty beer bottles scattered underfoot as they stumbled out from between the coffee table and the couch. Walking would have been easier had neither of them been so drunk, or maybe easier still if they weren’t tripping over each other.

Tatiana darted out from the kitchen – so that’s where she’d gone to hide – and ran with her chubby belly swaying toward the back of the house. Aleks started to follow her, as best he could at least, but Marcus caught him in a gentle press against the hallway wall. Aleks melted into him at once but then pushed back a little to get them moving.

“Um, wait, not my room… Aidan’s, he’s got—“ Marcus fumbled to reach the door around Aleks, but it was already open a Tatiana-sized gap from earlier. They rather clumsily tumbled in over each other with another burst of drunk laughter. Marcus’s was loud and mostly snickering while Aleks’s laugh was entirely gone entirely to breathless giggles.

Marcus recovered from the stumble first and then continued to steer them into the room. Aleks’s knees hit up against the edge of the bed and buckled. He grabbed Marcus’s shoulders for balance and dragged him down on to the mattress hard enough to make it squeak.

Aleks felt his phone press up against the back pocket of his jeans, and he squirmed a little to try digging it out so he could say something first. He soon was thoroughly distracted by the searing press of Marcus’s mouth against his, however, and forgot to do anything with the phone once he had it out.

They indulged in long, languorous kissing before Marcus lifted up from Aleks back some. “Hold on, let me get… okay,” Marcus said. “Somewhere in here…” He pulled open the nightstand drawer and rifled through it.

Aleks used the break to pull his phone up close in order to poke at the blurry keyboard. He glanced up to track Marcus’s search efforts with a slightly confused frown. What could he be…? Oh. Aleks drew in a breath as Marcus pushed aside a tangle of charger cord to find condoms and lube. Oh. Oh. _Oh_.

Marcus flashed him a rather goofy, apologetic grin as he set the items on the nightstand. “We don’t, uh, have to – I just, like to be prepared.”

Aleks stared at him and then looked hastily back at his phone screen. He tried to keep typing, but he was thoroughly distracted by Marcus’s hands on him once more.

“What’re you writing?” Marcus asked. Now that Aleks was shocked somewhat sober, he could marvel at the soft burr of Marcus’s drunken slur. The spice of rum mingled into the taste of their kisses in a whole that wasn’t wholly unpleasant, especially since Aleks could recall first kiss ever, which had tasted like cheap beer and cigarettes. Marcus smiled down at him and pulled his fingers through Aleks’s bangs to draw them up and off from his face. “Let me see,” he coaxed.

Aleks glanced down at his phone.

 

 _(Me)_  
 _It’s really beautiful_. _And the Prince looks so…  
_ _(Me)_  
 _FEEEEEELS  
_ _(Me)_  
 _Wait I’m a virg_

 

Aleks shrugged and dropped his phone off the side of the bed. He heard it bounce against the carpet and hopefully land somewhere far away to be forgotten.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to MeiranNataku for some very spur of the moment research/formatting help. Chu chu my darling!

subject: Where are you?  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

I’m having to send an email because I can’t find my phone. You get emails to your cell, right? Let me know when you get this.

 

 

 _(Marcus)_  
 _Disaster averted! My cell phone ended up in the fridge. I must have put it there last night somehow. Amazingly it still works. Let me know when you get this?_  
 _(Marcus)  
Aleks? I’m actually really worried about you. All your stuff and your car is gone, and I’m not so stupid I can’t figure out what that means._ _At least let me know you made it home safe._

 

 

subject: re: Where are you?  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Well I found your phone under Aidan’s bed. There’s one mystery down about why you won’t text me back. Maybe you’re on the road still? I looked a bit more but didn’t see if you’d left a note for me anywhere… I’m heading over to my mom’s for Christmas now, but I have my phone so if you send an email I’ll get it.  
\- Marcus

 

 

_(Sacha_  
 _hey can u pick me up tomorow at the airport_  
 _(Me)_  
 _Hello, Aleks lost his phone and won’t be able to receive this message_  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _the fuck are you?_

_(Me)_  
 _A friend of his_  
 _(Sacha)_  
 _the fuck you are_  
 _(Me)_  
 _I’m sorry?_

 

 

myshonok-deimos: Merry Christmas!! <3 Deimos

#my art #star struck chronicles #captain pelgrad #the martian prince #felix phillips #olivera #thom reed #merry christmas #queue

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turn-0f-mind said: Merry Christmas Deimos!!  
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myshonok-deimos: Merry Christmas, extra special, to all the Pel/Pri shippers! <3 Deimos

#my art #star struck chronicles #captain pelgrad #the martian prince #this is my otp #blublublub #queue

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turn-0f-mind asked you:  
Merry Christmas Deimos!!! Your latest two pieces are just amazing (as always!) and I hope you had a really great holiday! I was actually working on a christmas gift juuuust for you! I’ll post it to the archive (later today I swear!!) *chu* sweetie you have the best day ever okay?

 

 

starstruckwonder asked you:  
MERRY CHRISTMAS DEIMOS!! <3 <3 ilu bby

 

 

felixity asked you:  
Darliiiiing! Merry Christmas. I hope you got everything you wanted, including some Pel/Pri love! I know that last one’s happening for sure since I wrote a smutfic for you lol

 

 

maddogcain asked you:  
who the fuck has your phone and why

 

 

subject: merry christmas  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Here, I didn’t put this one in my blog queue because it’s for you. Sorry it’s late.  
Merry Christmas  
-Deimos

pelgradforpraxis.png  
673K   View    Download

 

 

Praxis: Hello?  
 _Sent at 11:24 PM on Thursday_  
Praxis: Hey I have your phone. You kind of have to talk to me if you want it back.

Deimos: uh  
hi  
yeah

Praxis: Yeah  
Hi

Deimos: so…  
i do need my phone back from you i guess

Praxis: Yeah I guess you do

Deimos: aaaaaaand… you seem pissed

Praxis: Really? You think?  
 _Sent at 11:42 PM on Thursday_

Deimos: um

Praxis: Fine, whatever. Your phone. I don’t know where you live or I’d just mail the damn thing

Deimos: well i can email you my address

Praxis: Great

Deimos: did you get the last email i sent?  
with your christmas present  
the pelgrad portrait

Praxis: Yeah I got it

Deimos: oh okay  
wasnt sure  
um did you like it?

Praxis: Aleks, I’m not in the mood to talk to you. Just email me your address so I can send out your phone tomorrow on my lunch break

Deimos: oh  
um  
okay  
 _Sent at 11:53 PM on Thursday_

Praxis: Bye

Deimos: wait  
let me explain

_Praxis is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Praxis comes online._

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

Aleks lay across his bed to watch the ceiling spin. Across the room came the sound of Sacha cursing at the game console followed by an aluminium crunch.

“Getting another beer,” Sacha said. “D’you want one?”

Aleks rolled his head to look at the nightstand and then rolled the rest of his body as well. He hoisted upright and grabbed at his empty glass. He rattled the ice at Sacha and got a loud, derisive snort in return. Sacha took the glass on his way to the kitchen, though.

Sacha nudged open the fridge and snagged another can of beer along with a cherry coke for Aleks. He dumped the cola into the empty glass along with another grubby handful of ice from the ripped-open bag in the sink.

“If you get puking drunk I’m not cleaning it up,” Sacha said. His hand pressed a clear print into the frosted glass as he got the bottle of vodka and eyeballed the refill on Aleks’ drink. “And if you start bawling again I’m leaving.”

A scowl tightened over Aleks’ face as he dragged his laptop open. He heard Sacha chuckle as he brought over the drink.

“Here, lush. This’ll teach me to leave you alone on Christmas. Cheer the fuck up already, or get so drunk you forget to be sad. Hey -- did I tell you I scored us a bitching invite for Monday night? One of that dumb bitch Christy’s friends-of-friends is throwing a huge black-light party in the warehouse.”

Condensation dripped over Aleks’ fingers as he took the drink from Sacha. He nodded without looking up from the screen. No new emails, no new chats, either. Terrible and miserable things twisted his stomach if he tried to pull up the last conversation with Marcus, so he didn’t.

The laptop lid closed with a too-loud click as he tossed it aside. Aleks lifted the glass and chugged half of it before setting it back on to the overlapping wet rings on the nightstand. He flopped back in the bed to watch the ceiling spin again. A small weight jostled the bed as Tatiana came poking over to check on him, and he nestled his fingers into her soft, dense fur.

The thin walls let through the sound of someone on the stairs as a warning before the knock came.

“D’we order pizza?” Sacha asked. He paused the video game to stare over his shoulder at the door just as the knock came again.

Aleks sat up and shrugged. Sometimes people knocked on his door when they wanted the unit across the narrow landing, and often he’d just ignore them until his neighbor popped out to grab the visitor.

Sacha lurched his feet holding the can of beer. Aleks pulled Tatiana into his lap so she wouldn’t go for the door as it opened.

“Yo, the fuck you want?” Sacha asked, even before opening the door.

From the bed Aleks couldn’t see, but he could hear a startled, “Oh, hello,” easily enough, and he knew that voice.

A rush of cherry coke and vodka rose in his throat, so that Aleks had to panickedly and rapidly swallow. He let go of Tatiana as she meowed and squirmed wanting to go say hello. She rushed to the door to twist around Sacha’s ankles, and when Marcus crouched to pet her Aleks could see his hand whisking over her tail.

“Who the fuck are you?” Sacha asked. He grabbed Tatiana out from under Marcus’ hand.

“A friend of Aleks’ -- is he home?”

_No. No, please._

Aleks abruptly scrambled for the other side of the bed and fell off it, right to the floor with a soft thud. It put the bed between him and the door. Oh, my God, was this his plan -- to hide? Yes. Yes, he was drunk enough that seemed an excellent plan. He hid behind the bed.

“Nope,” said Sacha. “Just me and chunky.”

And Aleks could kiss him for it, that Sacha knew what to say, but then he heard Marcus sigh. Aleks thought of his car, parked out in the gravel lot like a beacon, and then considered as well that it was after midnight. That Marcus drove here, when he said he’d just mail the phone back, and that it was Martian time -- after midnight -- when Marcus must have gone to work that day. It was a three hour drive back, too.

“Okay,” he heard Marcus say. “Well, I brought his phone. Will you give it to him for me?”

“You’re the asshole who took his phone. You have some nerve showing up here.”

Aleks knew that tone of voice. He popped up from his hiding place to look across the bed at the doorway. He saw Sacha’s glaring profile and slight chin tilt. Oh, Marcus was taller than Sacha.

Aleks grabbed at the sheets and nearly pulled them from the bed as he staggered to his feet. He stumbled around to the kitchen wall and then grabbed at the closet door next. Sacha glanced over at the noise.

“...Aleks?” Marcus started forward a step to look into the apartment, but Sacha stopped him with a shove. Marcus grabbed at the doorway to catch himself.

“Get lost,” Sacha sneered. “I know who you are. I ought to --”

Fistfuls of cotton and muscle fell under Aleks’ hand as he reached them at last and snagged into Sacha for balance. He pressed into his friend, and Sacha’s arm went over his shoulders. Aleks couldn’t bring himself to look at Marcus’ face, so he stared down at the man’s sneakers instead.

“You must be Sacha,” Marcus said quietly.

Heat and panic rolled through Aleks in the thick, awful silence that followed. At last Sacha shifted to hold out his hand.

“Phone,” Sacha growled. “Now.”

Marcus set the phone into Sacha’s hand, and Aleks grabbed for it. His hands were shaking as he clutched the phone and stared down at the screen. After a moment he remembered to tap it awake, and it should have bothered him that the battery was full. Email and blog roll notifications poured down from the top as he checked. There were texts from Sacha -- Marcus had replied to one, Aleks saw with sudden horror.

A noise strangled in Aleks’ throat. He swiped through his messages and saw the one he never sent stacked underneath fresh ones from Marcus asking where he’d gone.

And then a new one appeared.

 

 _(Marcus)  
_ _Can we go talk somewhere? He looks ready to murder me._

 

Aleks looked up in time to see Marcus standing there holding his own phone. A hesitant, tentative smile ran over the man’s face beneath the patched over gaze. “Hey, I’m sorry for yesterday. I was still pretty upset,” Marcus said.

Sacha replied for him. “Cute apology, cyclops. Thanks for the phone, now get lost.”

Aleks stared down at his phone, but the words were starting to blur together on him. He tapped at the keys without seeing them, his fingers trembling so much it wouldn’t matter if he could see the letters. A sniffle broke free, followed by a whine.  

“Shit,” muttered Sacha. He pulled Aleks behind him, nudged Tatiana out of the way with his foot, and then slammed the door right in Marcus’ face.

“Hey --” came Marcus’ indignant voice through the cheap wood.

“Never fucking leaving you alone on Christmas again, Aleks,” Sacha snapped. “What the hell did  you get yourself into? You told him where you _live_?”

Aleks hunched his shoulders and clutched at his phone as the tears started in earnest.

“You little shit, don’t just stand there bawling.”

Sacha’s arms assaulted him and dragged Aleks against his chest. Aleks pressed his face there to indulge in drunk, messy tears only as long as it took for Marcus to get the courage together to start knocking again.

“Hey, Aleks?” he called.

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Sacha growled. He bullied Aleks toward the bed. “Come on, lay down, you’ll feel better in the morning when you’re less vodka and more your regular mopey self. I’ll make him get lost or see he gets lost.”

When Marcus dared to knock again, Aleks decided to go answer the door himself this time. His tears vanished into sudden, eerie calm. He pushed Sacha off him and shook his head. Maybe not quite so calm, so he grabbed the glass from the nightstand and drained what was left. His stomach grumbled and twisted like it wouldn’t stay down, but Aleks marched over to the door and threw it open.

Without waiting for either Sacha to stop him or Marcus to say anything, Aleks pushed his way to the stairs and half-fell, half-walked down them.

“Oh,” he heard behind him. Marcus descended down the narrow stairs after him. “Aleks? Wait --”

“Don’t come crying home to me about then, dumbshit,” Sacha called after him. “Come on, chunky, let’s --” the door closed on whatever else he said to Tatiana. It didn’t matter, since Aleks was stepping outside into the gravel lot between the rental properties.

His breath fogged into white clouds. Aleks hunched his shoulders and crossed his arms against the cold. He hadn’t grabbed a coat or anything. There was snow on the ground still, and it melted against Aleks’ socks as he staggered toward his car.

“You are not driving,” Marcus said with sudden alarm. Gravel and ice crunched beneath his sneakers as Marcus followed him. “Aleks? How much have you had to drink?”

Not enough, clearly. Aleks fell against his car and crawled up on to the hood to escape the wet gravel. The frozen metal pressed painfully into his bare hands and knees. Aleks flopped into a sprawl as if the top of his car was his bed and shivered. It wasn’t very comfortable, but at least his socks would stay dry this way.

“You’re half-dressed, Aleks, you can’t be out here.” Marcus stood in front of the car to stare at him.

Aleks pulled his phone out and held it up to see the screen. He peered blearily at the letters and then rolled to his back. He pulled the phone closer, but it was shaking. Oh, he was shaking.

“You need to go back inside,” said Marcus. “Here, I’ll help you --”

His hand closed over Aleks’ arm. Aleks jerked away and kicked against the icy-slick surface of the car hood to push himself further from Marcus. He slid off the car instead and made a squeaked yelp as he landed in a tangle of boxers, baggy sweatshirt, and socks.

“Oh,” Marcus said with a nervous laugh. “You’re really wasted. I guess I should have expected that for this late on a Friday night, but…”

His sneakers stopped in front of Aleks’ face, and the more of him crouched down into view. Aleks tucked his knees under the warm hem of his sweatshirt and curled to his side around his phone. He managed to tap the backspace key enough times that a blank slate awaited him to stab out a fresh start with Marcus.

 

 _(Me)  
_ _srry_

 

Aleks listened to the beep from Marcus’ pocket and glanced up from his huddle against the gravel to make sure. He saw Marcus shift to get his phone from his pocket.

Clouds of icy breath fogged over the phone screen as Aleks curled tighter around it to wait.

He heard a sigh from above him. “I know I said I wanted to talk, but I don’t think this is a good time for this conversation. Can I reschedule this without losing my chance? I want you sober for once before I try to figure out why you ran out on me without saying goodbye.”

 

 _(Me)  
_ _kk_

 

“Thanks,” Marcus said quietly. “And, I really do love that Captain Pelgrad piece you sent. I’m sorry I was a jerk about it. It was sweet of you to draw me him with an eye patch, canon or not.”

 

 _(Me)  
_ _omrtell;yssry_

 

Aleks frowned at his phone and hit his index finger against the backspace key, but accidentally hit send with the message still gibberish. He hit at the backspace key again and then let his phone rest into his palm. He just stared at it, breath fogging the glass.

“I’m sorry, too, for driving here without asking. God, if you remember this in the morning you’re going to think I’m a stalker. I guess Sacha’s going to tell you, if you do forget -- that is Sacha I met up in your apartment, right? He…”

Marcus’ voice drifted into silence.

Cotton-mouthed and fuzzy-headed, Aleks wondered for a moment if he hadn’t passed out instead. But no, he could see the glow of his phone within the sheltering hood of his sweatshirt.

“You don’t live with Sacha, do you?” Marcus asked suddenly. He sounded like someone was strangling him, and Aleks fought out of his sweatshirt to look.

Marcus stared at him with a sickened expression. “Oh, my God, Aleks -- did you cheat on him with me? Is Sacha your boyfriend?”

Oh, he was going to puke. A lot of coke and vodka and not a lot else was about to leave his body. Aleks felt the spinny-sick certainty of nausea in a moment of eerie calm like when he decided to answer the door. He pushed up from the gravel but saw the glow of his phone lying there in the way. Aleks slapped it aside but missed. He slapped at it again with a wretched whine, desperate to save his phone -- he’d just gotten it back, he couldn’t lose his phone again. He’d never be able to apologize to Marcus if he lost his phone again.

Marcus jumped back from him as Aleks finally hit the phone aside to clear a patch of gravel. “Oh,” he said, sounding disappointed. After that it was just cherry coke and vodka.


	14. Chapter 14

_(Me)_  
_Oh God oh god oh god please tell me last night either didn’t happen or happened differently than I remember_  
_(Sacha)_  
_finally up? thought u died_  
_(Me)_  
_Please Sacha I’m serious tell me last night didn’t happen_  
_(Sacha)_  
_what with the cyclops?_  
_(Me)_  
_Yes_  
_(Sacha)_  
_no that happened_  
_(Me)_  
_What happened though? What happened?_  
_(Sacha)_  
_no idea u shitface slut y u asking me?_  
_(Me)_  
_Because you were there and remember it, I don’t. Please Sacha please just tell me what happened._  
_(Sacha)_  
_u left and got carried back up puking drunk_  
_(Sacha)_  
_told him to get lost and he did so u owe me_  
_(Me)_  
_Why are you so unhelpful_  
_(Sacha)_  
_reasons_

 

subject: Morning                                                                                                   
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Aleks,   
This email is hard to write. I guess it’s probably going to be hard for you to read as well, but please read it. I had a lot of time to think during the drive home, and I still haven’t gone to bed yet so I’m going to sit in my office with a cup of coffee trying to think of what to write. It might not make perfect sense, but I feel like if I don’t say it I’ll explode.   
First off, I want to apologize. I didn’t invite you to my house with any ulterior motives or anything like that. I feel like saying you kissed me first is a cheap excuse since we’d both been drinking, so I won’t say it, except -- you did kiss me first. I guess I have to say it. I don’t know what to think otherwise, especially after meeting Sacha tonight. But I didn’t invite you to my house for that reason. I didn’t even know what you looked like until I saw you get out of the car. I don’t want you to think I’m the sort of person who meets men on the internet and invites them to his house to have sex. My last boyfriend I met through my roommate, before we were roommates, which should tell you how long ago it was I dated anyone. To be honest I don’t even have that much experience picking up guys. Can you imagine me at a bar or club trying to cruise? God, it’d just be too awkward. I’m too much of a nerd for that, so I guess this is the part where I’ll admit that, yeah, I maybe I thought you and I could hit it off. Right age, right orientation, but I didn’t invite you to my house because of that, and I wouldn’t have kissed you back or done anything else if I’d known it was going to be like this afterward because now I can’t be friends with you. I can't. I don’t want you to email me back after this. I think I might delete your number out of my phone. I’m sorry, Aleks. Please keep reading.  
You seem like a nice kid. I get that grad school is tough and you’re going through alot right now, but I also don’t think what you did is very fair to me. You weren’t honest and that hurts. I tried to be honest with you. I’m going to be honest with you now and say that what you did really changes my perception of you, of just who you are entirely and everything you’ve ever told me. I don’t know exactly what I think. I don't know what you thought you were doing. I don’t want to hurt you with this, or maybe I do because you hurt me. This email is getting too long. I should delete it and go to bed. I’m going to send it and maybe delete my blog instead. I don’t know. Guess you’ll find out when you wake up and finish reading this email. Maybe try to drink less in the future, and don’t meet anymore men on the internet for sex when you have one at home waiting.

 

myshonok-deimos:

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#text post spam #my life #I’m going to mars now ok #I'm going to mars and never coming back

prismatic-cannon likes this  
felixity said: deimos bby what’s wrong?  
mamamyshka likes this  
turn-0f-mind said: <3 <3 <3 but we love you  
starstruckwonder likes this

 

felixity asked you:  
Deimos! Perfect precious angel-face bby, I forbid you from running away where I can’t follow you! What’s wrong, school got you down again?

 

myshonok-deimos: I just want to lay here and re-read Ghosts of Mars and sob ok it is the best

#text post spam #my life #I can’t even drunk this away #doesn’t stop me from trying #blubublubub #sassy deimos #using that tag even tho this is more mopey than sassy

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turn-0f-mind reblogged this from  myshonok-deimos and added: Guys I think I broke Deimos on accident  
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myshonok-deimos <=> starstruckwonder

| starstruckwonder: The Martian Prince official art appreciation post!

#I just want to be him #I don’t want to be me I just want to be him #I’m going to mars now ok

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Deimos: Hi please don’t just close this immediately  
_Sent at 9:04 PM on Sunday_

Praxis: Okay

Deimos: yay omg  
omg ok -- I read your entire email, I know what you said  
just please please please tell me what happened Friday night because i dont remember and Sacha won’t tell me, just that I know you showed up here and then you left, and my phone just has this gibberish on the screen  
so like if I said something that made you send that email I guess because I don't understand how I lied  
And I am so so so so a million times sorry  
_Sent at 9:08 PM on Sunday_

Praxis: You don’t know when to quit, do you?

Deimos: no probably not  
I’m really sorry  
really  
million times sorry

Praxis: Shouldn’t you be apologizing to Sacha?

Deimos: ???

Praxis: You know, your boyfriend? The one you cheated on?  
_Sent at 9:13 PM on Sunday_

Deimos: wat  
um ok well Sacha’s not my boyfriend  
I don’t have a boyfriend  
haha yet winky face winky face  
_Sent at 9:15 PM on Sunday_  
Deimos: okay not the time for that joke I understand  
sorry might have started drinking before this conversation

Praxis: Are you ever sober?

Deimos: like all the time but not tonight or right now  
I really don’t have a boyfriend  
Sacha’s not my boyfriend

Praxis: He told me he was  
_Sent at 9:19 PM on Sunday_

 

 _(Me)_  
_I am going to fucking murder your face_  
_(Sacha)_  
_huh_  
_(Me)_  
_I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU_  
_(Me)_  
_LEGITIMATELY NEXT TIME I SEE YOU YOU ARE DEAD_

 

Deimos: okay, well, he’s not  
he’s not my boyfriend  
100% swear up and down sideways whatever you need me to swear  
he is NOT my boyfriend and just said that to you because  
_Sent at 9:25 PM on Sunday  
_ because he’s a dick I don’t know, but I’m super angry with him right now for it

Praxis: Does he live with you?

Deimos: no! why would you think that?  
I told you I live with my cat, in this tiny apartment  
did you see it? It’s a room with a kitchenette and bathroom  
super tiny  
not the kind of place you could share  
I havent lied about anything I swear

Praxis: And he’s not your boyfriend?

Deimos: not my boyfriend  
totally boyfriend-less

Praxis: When I was at your place Friday, he was there like he owned the place and owned you. It sure looked like he was your boyfriend

Deimos: I’ve never had one

Praxis: huh?

Deimos: I’ve never had a boyfriend  
no boyfriends, none, no boyfriends ever  
never been with anyone  
I don’t go hooking up all over the internet with strange men or anything  
thats not me at all

Praxis: I shouldn’t have said that  
I was really upset when I wrote that email

Deimos: can we start over?  
can we pretend it’s still the part in the movie where pel/pri are being cuties in the ruins?  
I promise I won’t kiss you this time  
_Sent at 9:42 PM on Sunday  
_ please

Praxis: I wish we were having this conversation face to face

Deimos: well i dont  
itd be face to screen instead of screen to screen

Praxis: I didn’t mean it like that

Deimos: no, I know  
sorry nervous

Praxis: Me too :)  
I feel awful for that email now

Deimos: its ok  
if you thought Sacha was my boyfriend and I lied about it  
I mean yeah I see why you’d be pissed  
makes sense

Praxis: It actually doesn’t make sense, but it’s nice of you to give me an out like that  
So now I have to ask why you bolted out of the house Christmas morning  
And didn’t return any of my emails  
If you hadn’t left your phone at my place, would I ever have heard from you again?  
_Sent at 9:58 PM on Sunday  
_ Aleks?

Deimos: sorry here  
frozen fingers  
imagine me just staring at my laptop not sure what to say  
actually so yeah I guess that’s the best explanation I have for bolting, just that I’m a total awful horrible spazz  
I mean I woke up and you were there in the bed and I panicked  
totally panicked  
what was i going to do when you woke up? all I could think was, I didnt know what to say or do or just  
I was like halfway home before realizing it  
autopilot panic  
I had to pull over on the side of the highway I thought I was going to die  
thisissoembarrassingpleasedonthateme

Praxis: I don’t hate you  
I’m ridiculously confused  
But I don’t hate you, Aleks

Deimos: still like me?

Praxis: Still like you :)

Deimos: still think im cute?

Praxis: Yeah  
Still think you’re really cute :)

Deimos: can we start over? pel/pri being cuties at the ruins, too many feels, promise I won’t kiss you this time please can we start over?

Praxis: Yeah, let’s start over  
But you can kiss me during the movie still if you want. I liked that part

Deimos: me too

Praxis: Going to bolt on me again?

Deimos: definitely  
you’re lucky this laptop didn’t end up across the room just now

Praxis: haha :)

Deimos: um  
ahaha  
so funny story  
totally don’t really remember much after that drinking game  
I remember too many prince feels and kissing you, and then I kiiiiind of remember some stuff after that like in general, the general concept of what happened is in there with all the booze  
I um was going to text you to stop, but drunk  
so we had sex  
yup  
that happened  
was I any good at it?

Praxis: oh my god

Deimos: no!  
not like  
omg no not like I was going to text stop as in stop-stop just like I wrote this text to tell you I’d never done anything before so like hey maybe not or something not but then I definitely remember being like oh fuck it at the time  
but then later I woke up and spazzed because hey that happened, tada! ahah nervous

Praxis: Oh, my God, Aleks  
I am a jerk

Deimos: nonononono  
honestly probably best way for it to happen, just get it over with

Praxis: :/

Deimos: no but like in a great way  
i think  
omg stop  
dont tell anyone I was a virgin at 23 this is way too embarrassing  
i mean I’ve done some stuff  
did some stuff  
before  
with people  
non-specific people  
pleasedonthatemeomg

Praxis: I am such a jerk  
Aleks, is that why you bailed? You have told me sooner, I never would have written that nasty email

Deimos: omg please no make this conversation stop I’m sorry I asked please kill me I am going to crawl under my bed and hide forever  
bolting now

Praxis: Aw, come back  
We won’t talk about it  
Starting over  
Okay I lied really quick -- I was way too drunk that night anyway. I’m not that kind of guy. I feel awful I lured this poor starving artist into my home on Christmas to bang on not even the first date. I'm so sorry. Definitely more of a Felix move than a Pelgrad one. It’s like something out of one of felixity’s crackfics. 

Deimos: omg dont say it that way it sounds even more awful  
(but funny, im laughing now instead of crying)

Praxis: Were you crying earlier??

Deimos: NO MAYBE  
I DONT KNOW  
um hey do you have work tomorrow?

Praxis: I do, and then I have the first off and go back Wednesday

Deimos: oh okay  
any cool plans for New Year’s Eve?

Praxis: Just watching the girls try to stay awake I guess

Deimos: well would you want to suffer another long drive to come crash the party I’m going to?  
maybe? please? give me another shot?  
you can stay at my place so you wont have to drive back

Praxis: I’m not really into parties though  
But okay :)

Deimos: really???

Praxis: Yeah!

Deimos: yaaaaay  
it’ll be fun!  
fun fun fun fun yay  
yay you don’t hate me!

Praxis: Definitely don’t hate you :)

Deimos: is this going to be a second crack-fic date or are we back to just friends btw?  
just curious dont have to answer  
ahaha bolting

Praxis: Don’t bolt!  
You type faster than me!  
Definitely a second date. Maybe call it a first date actually, since we’re starting over

Deimos: definitely starting over, let’s forget this ever happened  
all in your mind  
you never saw me  
no proof yet myshonok-deimos actually exists  
could be I’m turn-0f-mind trying to hype her own fics

Praxis: I have a myshonok-deimos original to hang on my wall that says otherwise

Deimos: ???

Praxis: The Pelgrad art you drew me! I really like it. I told you that Friday, but I guess you don’t remember

Deimos: if you’re going to hang it I’ll get you a good print of it  
promise I’ll be sober next time you see me  
well  
yes I’ll start sober but its NYE you cant expect me to stay sober!  
and I’m gonna get you trashed, it’ll be so much fun  
Sacha always knows the best parties for new years

Praxis: Oh  
Yeah, sounds fun :)

Deimos: it’ll be so much fun!  
yayayayayay

Praxis: haha okay, well, it’s past my bedtime  
I'll see you... tomorrow then!

Deimos niiiiiiiiiiiight!!! <3 <3 <3  
do you still have my number?

Praxis: I didn’t delete you out of my phone. I was really upset when I wrote that email, I’m sorry

Deimos: nope  
totally fine  
thanks again for not hating me lol

Praxis: Even when I sent that email I didn’t hate you, Deimos  
Oops, Aleks*

Deimos: lol either works  
ok entering martian time, you go sleep

Praxis: Will do :)  
Good night

Deimos: night! <3 <3 <3

_Praxis is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Praxis comes online._

 

myshonok-deimos: THIS POST IS USELESS IM JUST MAKING IT BECAUSE I CAN  
DISREGARD ALL PREVIOUS TEXT POST SPAM ALL HAIL THIS POST  
ALSO A CERTAIN SOMEONE IRL IS GONNA DIE TONIGHT  
(but like not really please don’t call the cops on me I’m pretty harmless)

#text post spam #my life #go to bed deimos you’re drunk #omg like seriously tho #best day ever #might still kill him #can tags be used against you in a court of sass?

maddogcain said: wtf  
starstruckwonder likes this  
felixity said: omg bby you are a rollercoaster and I love you  
felixity likes this  
mamamyshka likes this


	15. Chapter 15

_(Me)_  
_Hey before I forget my wifi network is fuckyourface and the password is dumbass123_  
_(Me)_  
_please don’t ask me about it_  
_(Me)_  
_Okay the answer is Sacha did it for an april fools joke and then we were both too lazy to fix it. I’m actually not sure I know how_  
_(Me)_  
_Is exchanging wifi passwords like nerd second base?_  
_(Me)_  
_And then there are those people who exchange email and blog passwords, but those people are crazy. I would murder you first_  
_(Me)_  
_Okay upon reflection thats kind of a horrible thing to say, but in my defense I think it says a lot more about my own crippling insecurity than your dishonesty_  
_(Me)_  
_But like in a good way about you_  
_(Me)_  
_jfc someday I am going to learn to unsend messages_  
_(Me)_  
_Maybe I can scroll everything off the screen in time cause I know you’re not reading these while driving_  
_(Me)_  
_Oh but what if you stop for gas or something_  
_(Me)_  
_Nope never mind see you_  
_(Me)_  
_No I’m not watching for your car from my kitchen window that would be crazy nor am I composing this text while walking down the fuck these stairs_  
_(Me)_  
_omg no_  
_(Me)  
Put your phone back in your pocket!_

 

“Maybe I want to see what you’ve been blowing up my phone with for the last hour,” Marcus said. He laughed and nudged a hip into the car door to shut it.

Aleks felt a smile tug at his face as he crossed the gravel lot, but the smile soon vanished as he got nearer and things became terribly awkward. Marcus moved toward him at the same time, and then clearly neither of them knew whether hugging was to happen or not. Aleks wove around an oddly lifted arm and pretended like he’d come over to help take Marcus’ backpack, even though he didn’t need any help.

“Oh, thanks,” Marcus said.

And then he let Aleks take the bag, which didn’t make any sense. Cheeks and ears burning, Aleks turned and bolted across the gravel to the door. Even his light, rapid footsteps rattled over the thin walls as he raced for the safety of his apartment and fat stupid cat. He tossed Marcus’ backpack down and grabbed Tatiana before she could run for the stairs.

Dumb, so dumb, because of course Marcus followed him up to the narrow landing. Aleks turned quickly. He shoved his back into the door to hold it open and forced a smile, gesturing Marcus into the tiny cut of space his unit made in the upstairs corner of the converted house.

“I didn’t get to see that much of your place last time. It really is small,” Marcus said. He was looking around the apartment more intently than it took to take in the clutter of Aleks’ life.

Aleks eased off the door and then hastily closed it. He set his cat down and then pulled out his phone.

 

 _(Me)  
_ _Grand tour starts now_

 

Marcus turned his head down at the beep in his pocket and then dug out his phone. Aleks waited for him to read and look up expectantly before shuffling forward. He swept his hand to gesture at the beanbag, television, and game console. Next he patted at the bookcase and then hastily grabbed a sketchbook before it could tumble. He shoved it back in with the others.

“Nice,” Marcus said. “You have a lot of games. No wonder you were so good at beating up zombies.”

Aleks went over to the bed and then dug his laptop and tablet out of the rumpled blankets. He held them up briefly before setting both back down.

“Ah, this must be the Martian homeworld of myshonok-deimos. Looks cozier than my office.”

Cheeks and ears burning again, Aleks snuck a quick glance at the smile Marcus was giving him before moving into the kitchenette. He pulled open the fridge and gestured that Marcus could help himself to the contents, which was a couple plastic-wrapped slices of cheese, a stick of margarine, some condiments, and a case of beer. He’d dumped anything moldy, expired, experimental, or unknown. Aleks likewise opened the cabinet to show Marcus where his cups and plates lived next to a couple packs of ramen.

“You weren’t joking when you said you weren’t much of a cook,” Marcus said. “You don’t even have an oven.”

Aleks shrugged and gestured at the hot plate sitting unplugged on top the microwave. He wiggled his fingers as if about to conjure a rabbit from a hat and then whisked open one of the drawers.

Marcus laughed. “That’s a lot of takeout menus.”

With a smile, Aleks spread out a couple and then motioned Marcus to come pick one. They settled on pizza, and Marcus called in the order while Aleks dug through his stack of sketchbooks. By the time Marcus hung up, Aleks had found the one he wanted and sat on the edge of the bed with it.

He patted the empty space next to him, since it was that, the floor, or the beanbag. Marcus settled next to him, but Aleks tapped into his phone before turning over the sketchbook.

 

 _(Me)_  
_Two summers ago I reread the whole series and did a bunch of sketches_  
_(Me)  
Primo unpublished myshonok-deimos originals_

 

“Really? You’re spoiling me,” Marcus said. He set his phone aside to take the book from Aleks. He barely glanced through it before gushing, “Wow, these are great! I’d buy myself yet another copy of the series if it was illustrated by you. I love your art.”

Marcus turned the page and paused, staring down at a furious tangle of scribbles covering up about a half dozen different angles of the same boy’s face framed by wispy jaw-length hair. Heat crawled up Aleks’ neck. He should have looked through this better before deciding to show it to Marcus.

“Practice for a new look on the Prince?” Marcus guessed.

Aleks couldn’t decide if he was being polite or honestly thought that was the explanation. Aleks fiddled with his phone as he watched Marcus flip past more of the same quick studies -- only without the scribbles -- and then was relieved to see the Star Struck sketches resume.

Marcus was still going through the sketchbook when the pizza arrived. Aleks gestured at him to keep at it and bounced up from the bed. He forged a scribble for the signature since Marcus had insisted in giving his card for the order. Aleks traded the signed receipt for the flat, warm box containing their dinner and then waved bye to the delivery girl, who called, “Bye Aleks,” over her shoulder as she stomped back down the stairs.  

“Guess you order a lot from them, huh?” Marcus asked.

Also the girl knew Sacha and mingled in some of the same circles, as his tiny college town contained a lot of students and not a lot else. But Aleks didn’t bother to explain that. He just shrugged and brought the pizza over to the bed.

Soon as he set the pizza down, Tatiana hopped up to go poking. Aleks snagged her and dumped her indignant furry butt to the floor before she could get cat hair all over Marcus’ food.

“Oh, I don’t want to get anything on your art,” Marcus said. He set the sketchbook aside and snagged one of the slices even though it was steaming hot still. “God, I’m hungry. I thought about stopping at a gas station for something, but I was making such good time.”

While he chewed, Marcus picked his phone up from the blankets. After a few minutes of reading he snorted softly and then swallowed. “I can help you fix the SSID on your wifi, but I didn’t bring anything I need to connect. I have a desktop, remember? Aidan -- my roommate -- keeps trying to convince me to buy his laptop so he can justify getting a new one. Maybe I’ll take him up on it.”

Aleks nodded and fiddled again with his phone to swipe through notifications from his blog. He tilted the screen to show Marcus one of the new posts to the main tag.

“Cute drawing of the Prince,” he agreed. “But not as good as when you draw him.”

Aleks caught a smile between his teeth and ducked his head. He grabbed a piece of pizza out of the open box and then chased down the clingy stretch of cheese with his mouth. With his free hand, he swiped over to his messages and saw a fresh anon ask that was obviously felixity’s doing. He showed this to Marcus as well.

“I can’t tell if she loves you or just loves to harass you. You said you don’t really talk to anyone else in the fandom much outside of blog stuff though, right?”

Aleks nodded and kept scrolling through the tag.

“Any particular reason?”

He shrugged and tapped at the heart with his thumb to like a new photoset. From the corner of his eye he saw Marcus pick up another slice of pizza but then just sat there with it, watching him. Finally Aleks glanced up from his phone. Marcus flushed as if caught at something and hastily looked elsewhere.

A frown twitched over Aleks’ face as he slowly lowered his phone.

“So,” said Marcus. He shoved pizza into his mouth before finishing his sentence.

Aleks waited, eyes off the screen in his lap.

“About Sacha. He’s coming to this party tonight, you said?” Marcus waited for him to nod before grimacing some and then asking, “How’d you two meet?”

Aleks shrugged and looked back down at his phone.

 

 _(Me)  
_ _Assigned as roommates freshman year_

 

He tapped the answer quickly and then checked on his queue to make sure the New Year’s piece he’d drawn would go up right at midnight. Over on the archive he skimmed the latest fic, but it both wasn’t very good and didn’t feature the Prince. He scrolled back up to look at the tags. Olivera and Pelgrad. He frowned and tapped away without leaving kudos, with a silent apology to whoever starry67twinkle was.  

“Aleks?”

He glanced up to find Marcus watching him again. A smile spread over Marcus’ face once he had Aleks’ attention, and without conscious thought Aleks felt his own lips curl in answer. His phone went into his lap.

Marcus ran back his hair. Strands pulled free of the eyepatch band and then whisked back into place. Aleks’ gaze followed the motion.

“Hey…” Marcus smiled again and shifted some, to better face Aleks. Abruptly he realized that, without meaning to, he’d sat on the dark-patched side of Marcus.  

“What if we didn’t go to the party? I had to work all week, so I’m kind of tired anyway. I’m not sure I can do a party justice for you. I mean, I know it’s New Year’s Eve, but it could be fun to stay in and watch the ball drop just on the television. I heard on the radio coming down you guys might get snow again, so we could --”

Thumping footsteps up the narrow stairs provided the only warning against the front door to Aleks’ apartment opening. Sacha appeared, red-cheeked from the cold and bundled into his scarf, leather jacket, dark-wash jeans, and combat boots. He clutched a paper bag with an obvious liquor bottle inside and kicked the door closed a boot heel.

“Fuck it’s cold,” he announced. “Good thing there’s gonna be a fuck-off huge bonfire tonight. Let’s get to drinking and go, I need to toss another can of gas over the fucker before lighting it.”

Aleks glanced only briefly at his phone. A warning text would have been nice, even though he had told Sacha to come over anytime after nine, and it happened to be nine exact. Just, Sacha never showed up anywhere on time.

From beside him on the bed came an odd sound, almost like choking. It occurred at the same time Sacha noticed Marcus sitting on the bed with him and sneered, so Aleks didn’t know which one of them to stare at first. He inched his hand toward his phone.

“‘Sup,” Sacha said. He flicked them a sharp, feral grin and then headed for the kitchen to set down the bottle of vodka he brought.

 

 _(Me)  
_ _I mentioned Sacha was coming over to pre-game with us, right?_

 

Aleks fiddled his fingers over the edge of his phone and watched Marcus from beneath his bangs. He ducked his head lower when he saw Marcus slowly turn his head away from Sacha and toward the sound of the small beep. At first he just stared at Aleks before eventually looking down at where his phone lay within the bedding.  

Across the apartment, Sacha banged through the cabinets to get down three glasses. “Aleks, come on, shot-o-clock. I’m serious. No way am I letting Vicks light that fucker without me. And you’re going to want to see it especially, promise.”

Sacha turned holding one of the squat tumblers and bolted down the clear measure of plain plastic-jugged vodka. He leaned into the countertop and crossed his boots. “What?” he demanded. “Did I interrupt you fags playing gay space dick adventures?”

Marcus stiffened. “What did you just say?”

Normally such a low, rolling kind of growl coming from Marcus might strike him as sexy, but Aleks just felt a jolt of pure panic. His fingers flew over his phone’s screen.

 

 _(Me)  
_ _he means star struck cjronicles its a joke_

 

The beep sounded, but Marcus ignored it. He’d turned all the way around to stare at Sacha. Aleks whipped into a new conversation on his phone and typed quickly.

 

 _(Me)  
_ _hey be fucking nice you promised_

 

Sacha’s pocket buzzed. “I hear ya,” he said, without even pulling his phone out to look. “Fine, claws in. Don’t get all offended, I’ve read those dumb books. They’re pretty good.”

Since Marcus wouldn’t pick up his phone, Aleks scooted over on the bed and shoved his own screen into the man’s face.

 

 _(Me)  
_ _he follows my blog, remember the bon voyage drawing? its a joke he’s joking_

 

Marcus brushed the phone out of his face, maybe without even reading it, and gave Aleks a decidedly unhappy look. It made him pause and scoot back some. Aleks then scooted back further before just slipping off the bed entirely. Still staring at Marcus’ expression, he shuffled toward the kitchenette to get their drinks.

He glared at Sacha as he turned to pick up the mismatched squat drinking glasses. Sacha seemed unconcerned as he leaned around Aleks to snag the cheap jug by the handle. He poured himself a refilled and then downed it.

Aleks just stood there holding the two drinking glasses. He’d managed to turn around, but Marcus had that same conflicted expression that was equal parts bewildered and angry. Aleks couldn’t move. He just stood there.

“Chug and let’s go,” Sacha said. He nudged his boot out to kick at Aleks’ sneaker.

Mechanically, Aleks lifted the glass and gulped. Alcoholic burn slid down his throat. He turned and set the empty glass in the sink and then drank Marcus’ share without asking. He set that empty glass beside the other and then turned back around.

That same expression, made all the worse by the severe cut of the patch across Marcus’ brow. Not focused on Sacha, either, but aimed directly at Aleks. Equal parts bewildered and angry.

“We can drink the rest there,” Sacha said. He swung the vodka off the counter and used the same momentum to club Aleks around the shoulder with it. Caught under Sacha’s arm, Aleks found himself being dragged across the apartment.  

Marcus rose from the bed. Aleks fully expected him to say he wasn’t going, or maybe to throw something at Sacha’s head, or maybe announce how much he hated everything about Aleks in that moment. Instead he followed them to the door without saying a word, and the three of them pounded down the narrow staircase.  

Sacha headed immediately for where his beaten-down old car sat hulking crookedly against the curb along the street, but Marcus called out, “I’ll drive,” and Sacha turned around. The jug of vodka swung at his side.

“I’ll be the D.D.,” Marcus said. “We can take my car.”

Aleks crept over and stood by the passenger door. It earned him a glance from Marcus that was less hostile than the ones he’d been shooting upstairs in the apartment.

Marcus unlocked the car, and Aleks was first to scramble inside. He immediately pulled out his phone and started to type. Sacha slouched across the entirety of the backseat and lifted the jug of vodka to his lips.

“You can’t drink in the car,” Marcus snapped. He glared through the rearview mirror at Sacha.

Sacha raised a brow at him. From his pocket came a buzz. A beep echoed from Marcus’ pocket. Neither of them pulled out their phones, and Aleks turned around his seat to glare at his friend until he saw Sacha’s mouth twitch into a sneering grin.

“Fine,” said Sacha. He recapped the liquor and rolled it to the floorboard.

Aleks righted in his seat and looked back down at his phone. He pulled up his email and then showed the screen to Marcus, who barely glanced at the directions before saying, “Sure.”

Since he didn’t know what else to do, Aleks slipped his phone into the cup holder so Marcus could look at the directions again when he needed them.

“Aleks, put on the radio,” Sacha said. Without waiting he leaned forward over the middle console to reach the radio controls himself and flipped up the volume. The local news and weather poured from the speakers at first before Sacha snagged the tuner and ran through the stations. Static, pop music, static, commercial, static -- and then the college radio station, currently playing a fast-tempoed rock song that met Sacha’s huffed approval.

“Not so loud,” Marcus said. “You’ll blow out your eardrums.” He nudged the volume back down and hopefully missed the incredulous _what the fuck_ expression on Sacha’s face. Aleks didn’t miss it, considering he was still glaring at Sacha.

“What?” Sacha mouthed at him.

Aleks shook his head.

Sachs slumped down and threw his boot into the back of Aleks’ seat. “Fine,” he snarled. “Fucking point taken.”

And then he said nothing else for the rest of the drive, although neither did Marcus. Aleks bit the cuticle from his thumbnail as he stared out the window at the increasingly dark and desolate streets. Even though it was early, a small hoard of cars crowded into the stretch of parking lot in front of the low, hulking outline of the warehouse. Aleks gestured vaguely to try conveying where Marcus should park even though it didn’t matter that much. He knew from experience that further back was safest though, in case beer bottles started flying.

Soon as they were free of the car, Sacha lit up a cigarette. Aleks threw his shoulder into Sacha to thank him for waiting -- he was pretty sure Marcus wouldn’t have liked smoking in his car. Sacha swung his jug of vodka into Aleks’ hip and said, “No problem.”

Aleks smiled and turned to look at Marcus, who was sitting in the driver’s seat still with his phone out. The glow of the screen cast shadows over his expression, that same terrible mix of looking too confused to be truly angry. He glanced up to see Aleks watching and then smiled, though it wasn’t the sort of smile that made Aleks smile back.

They shed their coats to shove into the car for safe-keeping and Marcus made sure to lock the doors. “We’re not trespassing here, are we?” he asked.

Sacha shrugged and blew a thin stream of smoke to the side. “Maybe. Dunno. Aleks, come on. You have to see this.” He grinned and almost bounced across the parking lot. Whatever the surprise was, Aleks felt almost afraid to go look.

From around the closed doors of the warehouse came a thudding pulse of technicolor music to match the technicolor interior. Marcus’ hand found his to squeeze as they entered the blacklight-soaked party on Sacha’s heels. Intentionally Aleks had worn all-black clothes without a spot of white or color, which was opposite of the dress code but suited him nicely. He pulled his hand from Marcus so he could hold out his sleeves and better look at the way he disappeared into the violet-black UV light. It put a big smile on his face, and he glanced to see Marcus staring at him. The light-grey thermal Marcus had on under his plain blue shirt glowed in the light, and Aleks pointed at it with another smile.

“Neat!” Marcus shouted. It didn’t sound very sincere though.

Sacha snagged his hand and jerked Aleks forward. The white skull on the back of Sacha’s black shirt glowed as a beacon under the blacklights, and the teal in his hair glowed as well. Aleks stared at the effect and wished for his sketchbook and some pastels all of a sudden. He glanced back to see Marcus following them and flashed him an excited smile.

The open interior was only sparsely filled with people as they cut through to the back exit. Aleks saw a handful of people he recognized. Sacha shouted at them to get an acknowledging wave, but any actual conversation would need to happen at closer range and with screaming to be heard over the loud music. Aleks loved the way the beat sunk into his chest and throbbed vibration over his ribs. He glanced back at Marcus with another excited smile, and this time actually got Marcus to smile as well. It looked a bit more like a grimace though.

They hit the back exit and squeeze through into the dirt and beaten grass empty lot that stretched all the way out to the high-tension power lines in the distance. Immediately Aleks saw the surprise Sacha had for him. It was impossible to miss.

Stacked on a pyre of wooden skids and filled with kindling sat Aleks’ old car, the centerpiece for the bonfire. The popped open hood revealed the gutted engine, and the interior upholstery featured several burst-open long rips. Shiny slicks of oil gleamed from the exposed cushions.

“Oh, my God,” said Marcus. With walls between them and the music, he didn’t have to shout to be heard -- and he stood right at Aleks’ shoulder.

A boy with shaggy auburn hair wearing a neon-blue tracksuit with white striping came hurrying over to them. “Sacha! Just in time, I was about to --”

“You better the fuck not have been about to light this bitch without me,” Sacha said. He thrust the jug of vodka at Aleks and stalked over to meet his friend Vicks, who Aleks knew more by name than anything else.

“They’re going to burn your _car_?”

Aleks looked up at Marcus with a shrug. He held up the vodka and smiled before tipping his head toward the warehouse. They’d probably be able to find cups and mixers inside.

“No, I’m driving,” said Marcus. He spoke as strangely as he looked, and Aleks felt the smile fade from his face as he took in that same stupid expression where Marcus looked too confused to know just how angry he should be.

Aleks set the vodka down between his sneakers and pulled out his phone.

He heard a long, hard sigh. “Aleks…”

His fingers froze over the keys. Slowly, Aleks tucked his phone away and then picked back up the vodka. He stood there holding it and stared forward at Sacha, who had snagged a canister of gasoline and was dumping it around the funeral pyre for Aleks’ poor dumb old car.

From beside him Marcus shouted over, “Did you remove the gas tank first?”

“Not fucking stupid, cyclops!” Sacha called back. “But thanks for the artistic input!”

Aleks’ fingers twitched. He wanted to grab his phone and explain that Sacha had bought the car from him fair and square, and that Sacha probably knew enough about what he was doing to make this relatively safe. Safe as any giant bonfire in the middle of nowhere next to a building full of drunk college students could possibly be, at least. He wanted to explain as well about Sacha, about… about …

But Aleks had never tried to explain Sacha before. Never had to, everyone he knew already knew Sacha. So how could he explain? It never even occurred to him that he'd need to explain Sacha, not until he saw all that angry bewilderment on Marcus' face. His fingers twitched, and he clenched them around the cheap plastic bottle in his hands.

The sudden whoosh of flame and heat in front of them seemed appropriate. Marcus took a wary step in retreat against the oppressive wash of hot air, but Aleks stood firm. He twisted off the cap on the vodka and lifted it to his lips. Might as well drink up, if his life was literally on fire.

 


	16. Chapter 16

myshonok-deimos: Happy New Year!!! I hope this is exactly what I’m doing at midnight, making kissy faces at a handsome hunk!!

#my art #star struck chronicles #captain pelgrad #the martian prince #this is my otp #queue

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subject: Happy New Year!                                                                                                  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Hi! Thanks for driving up last night to crash the party with me -- I hope maybe you had fun? I was totally not all that awake when you left this morning (haha mostly hung over too!) but I get that you wanted to be home early enough to probably nap and regain some sanity before going to work tomorrow. And also thanks for the glass of water and the coffee too, that was really sweet of you.  
Anyway I’m not doing anything this afternoon except nursing my hangover and maybe playing some video games with Tatiana so hit me up when you get this? I can pop open my laptop to chat or whatever. And I have my phone of course so you can text me, but I know you’re faster at typing than you are texting so anyway. Okay guess that’s it. Just that I had a lot of fun and hope you did too. Also I know I got super trash drunk but I feel like I did warn you I was going to do that since it’s New Year’s Eve and I mean that’s totally just what you do right? At least that’s what we Martians do <3  
Okay, talk to you soon I hope. Or not that’s cool too if you’re busy. Something like that I guess <3  
<3 Aleks (Deimos!)

 

 _(Me)  
__omg check out this weird dick-shaped cheeto I found_ _  
_ _(Me)  
__Totally looks like a dick right?  
            __(Me)  
__I wonder if there was an AU Star Struck college what the Prince would major in, or if like since he’s a prince he wouldn’t even bother going  
            __(Me)  
__Someone needs to write me a mountain of fanfiction where the Prince is in college with Pelgrad and they have all these cute study dates  
            __(Me)  
__I bet Pelgrad would study physics or something else super smart and brainy  
            __(Me)  
__Haha Tatiana got her fat face stuck in the cheeto bag  
            __(Me)  
__Am I an awful owner for just laughing at her rather than helping?_

 

subject: re: Happy New Year!                                                                                                      
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
  
Hi Aleks,  
Sorry this is so late. I did take a nap after I got in actually, and then I went over to see my mom and my sister for a bit. In my family it’s a New Year’s Day tradition to eat good luck foods like black-eyed peas and pork chops. Not sure if you’ve ever heard of that.  
Anyway we Earthlings aren’t used to staying out until 2am like you Martians are. That party was pretty wild. I’m still pretty tired so I’m just going to bed at depressing early old man time, but how about tomorrow we chat? I’ll be online at seven-thirty. Text me if that time won’t work. Also I saw all your texts from today. I think the Prince would study political science.

 

myshonok-deimos:

Read More -->  
  
#my dumb headcanon #text post spam #why am I still awake at 3am? #practically-praxis

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turn-0f-mind said: omg yes  
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subject: re: Happy New Year!                                                                                                  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Hello and good morning!  
7:30 works fine! I’ll be there <3 Sorry I didn’t email back right away. I was fighting a boss and didn’t want the beep to wake you. I promise not to spam your phone anymore, sorry about that. I was just bored. Also political science makes a lot of sense, although that’s so sad to think of him like trying to learn all these things to help his people and then yeah blublublub all my feels. Um okay, talk to you tonight!

 

myshonok-deimos <=> starstruckwonder

| turn-0f-mind: One-shot PWP, Study Hours  
| I blame myshonok-deimos for this. There were other things I planned to do this afternoon

ohhhhhhmmmyyyyyyygoddddd you actually did it COLLEGE AU I AM SO EXCITED dasfjljhlhghg (keysmashing)

#ssc fic rec #I fucking love you #not even drunk just feels

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Deimos: hiya!  
totally not stalking for you or anything

Praxis: Haha, hello! You’re very punctual

Deimos: def didn’t want to be late for our date <3  
_Sent at 7:30pm on Wednesday  
_ … boop?

Praxis: Sorry! I was still getting settled  
My roommate was asking me a question

Deimos: yeah! ok cool take your time

Praxis: No, I’m here now

Deimos: hello!  
how was work?

Praxis: Boring but uneventful, about all you can ask for I suppose!

Deimos: lol true I’ll admit I worry about another accident happening!  
you were way too casual in our fanmail exchanges telling me you’d gone to the hospital btw  
like fifty percent mad at you for it (jk)

Praxis: Aw, sorry! My job really isn’t that dangerous I promise

Deimos: no I know I’m just teasing you <3  
so hey um wanted to ask  
_Sent at 7:49pm on Wednesday_

Praxis: Yeah?

Deimos: um um um um  
asdfgfhgjkl; this is what you get when I stay sober for this

Praxis: ???  
What do you mean?

Deimos: trying not to bolt on you  
ahaha nervous  
um I wanted to talk about the party?  
you seemed kind of pissed I guess and then you left so early?  
just didn’t know if you were still mad....

Praxis: Oh  
_Sent at 7:56pm on Wednesday_

Deimos: hey say something  
please  
fuck

Praxis: No, I’m here!  
Imagine me frozen with my fingers on the keyboard :)

Deimos: <3 know that feel  
_Sent at 8:04pm on Wednesday_  
omg way too sober for this

Praxis: Sorry, sorry  
So I’m not mad at you  
Let’s go with confused. I’m really confused about a lot of things, but I’m not mad at you for it.

Deimos: okay yeah I thought you looked kind of confused-mad so that makes sense  
um yeah

Praxis: That party was wild. I couldn’t believe they set your car on fire

Deimos: well sacha bought it from me so really it was his car to burn  
I did think it was going into an art show  
Turns out he just wanted the motor and guts for the show

Praxis: And the people there  
I’m pretty sure we were trespassing too.

Deimos: weirdos tend to get art degrees  
or getting an art degree makes you a weirdo  
idk  
um but like remember when I told you about stealing fire exit signs?

Praxis: No?

Deimos: over fall break! And later I said Sacha got a boot stuck in his nail?

Praxis: Oh right. Yes I do remember that.

Deimos: so yeah that  
idky i brought it up except it was at the warehouse too  
guess im trying to justify being a weirdo  
like i did warn you  
um

Praxis: You did warn me. I’ve actually been re-reading the email you sent me right before Christmas, where you explained the reason we couldn’t meet was I would hate you IRL

Deimos: do you?

Praxis: Definitely don’t hate you, Aleks  
Promise 

Deimos: yaaaay <3

Praxis: But okay don’t bolt on me but you really are SO different IRL!

Deimos: is I told you so appropriate?

Praxis: Definitely appropriate :)

Deimos: yaaaay <3  
teehee  
ugh nervous

Praxis: Aw, don’t be nervous

Deimos: nope too late already happening  
ok but like be real are you mad I got super trashed and we set the car on fire and then like I’m pretty sure I was dancing all over the place (hopefully mostly all over you maybe idk)

Praxis: Haha, Aleks, you’re fine! I’m not mad  
Ridiculously, ridiculously confused.  
To be honest though I was ready to bolt from that party, but I’m glad I stayed. I think I like being confused by you ;)

Deimos: shameless flattery will get you eeeveeeerrryyyyything  
I’m glad you stayed too

Praxis: Yeah  
You know you’re pretty cute when you’re passed out drunk.

Deimos: omg lol now who’s the weirdo?

Praxis: Haha sorry okay that is weird to say  
I was just thinking about having to carry you from the car into bed.  
Do you even remember the party?? You really did get trashed!

Deimos: mostly? mostly not?!

Praxis: Haha, I was surprised you stayed on your feet the whole time  
You definitely can drink way more than you should for your size

Deimos: more flattery?! maybe?!  
no im awful I know im sorry  
I thought you were mad at me so idk  
nervous  
_Sent at 8:42pm on Wednesday_

Praxis: Well I was a little mad at first. Your friend Sacha is really rude.  
And you never explained to me why he said yes when I asked if he was your boyfriend

Deimos: yeah  
um yeah  
yeah I’ve been thinking about that  
about how I totally do owe you an explanation  
_Sent at 8:48pm on Wednesday_

Praxis: Is he maddogcain? I’m looking at that Bon Voyage drawing and you dedicated it to him.

Deimos: yeah thats him

Praxis: His blog is so weird

Deimos: its also nsfw so watchout he’s a risky follow lol  
I love it though  
always brightens up my dash with some quality wtf

Praxis: Yeah I am not following him

Deimos: heh  
um  
scale of one to ten I’m guess the answer is yes you kind of hate Sacha?  
you so looked ready to murder him  
but I promise he’s a really good friend and nothing he said he meant to be mean about  
um what he said about ssc was a joke  
he’s my best friend  
only friend  
oh um except you  
fuck wait  
not that you’re just a friend  
(deimos omg shut up)  
aahhhh you just keep typing nooooo

Praxis: stop!  
its ok!  
Ha, I just pasted my response into notepad so I wouldn’t lose it  
Sorry. You type so fast!  
  
Deimos: I KNOW IM SORRY  
that little “Praxis is typing” is going to start popping up in my nightmares

Praxis: this is why I think you’re really cute you know  
it’s not just because you look adorable passed out drunk  
  
Deimos: omg stop saying that  
I am not a cute drunk

Praxis: Deimos you are a really cute drunk  
*Aleks  
  
Deimos: lol!  
hey more people know me as deimos than aleks anyway

Praxis: You should try chatting more with others in the fandom  
I bet you can make friends with people besides Sacha

Deimos: you so hate sacha dont you

Praxis: Hold on let me paste this in and finish typing.  
Stay there and don’t freak out  
I promise it’s nothing awful just a lot of confusion.

Deimos: ok waiting  
thanks for the heads up lol  
_Sent at 9:17pm on Wednesday_

Praxis: I definitely don’t even know your friend Sacha well enough to hate him. You talked about him a lot before we met, but I guess I just had a much different idea of what he would be like. And especially how he would act. He doesn’t seem nice to you either. But then again you are also very different IRL, so I don’t know what to think. And I’m sorry but I have to ask -- did you ever date him? Why did he say he was your boyfriend? Is he gay? Does he know you are? Does he know I am? I’m sorry it’s been driving me crazy. I don’t want to hate your best friend, that would make me a pretty awful boyfriend.

Deimos: omg are you my boyfriend  
_Sent at 9:24pm on Wednesday_

Praxis: Oh  
Um, am I?  
Maybe too soon, sorry.  
Also did you read the whole thing?

Deimos: no totally just that last part  
_Sent at 9:26pm on Wednesday_  
ok done  
also um ok so  
no  
idk  
bi  
yes  
yes  
those are your answers

Praxis: Okay…  
Those are my answers I guess.

Deimos: :c  
also idk but you can be my boyfriend thats cool  
like if you want

Praxis: argh Aleks you are too cute

Deimos: shameless flattery!

Praxis: Okay then I don’t hate your best friend.

Deimos: yaaaay <3  
lol good boyfriend

Praxis: :)  
_Sent at 9:32pm on Wednesday  
_ So not to sound like a stalker but I went through all our past conversations yesterday now that I know you IRL more

Deimos: you sound like a stalker

Praxis: Haha  
But you said your roommate freshman year owned the first three SSC books and that’s how you got into series

Deimos: yeah

Praxis: So, Sacha?

Deimos: yup!  
lol he wont admit it but he’s a super nerd for it  
shh top secret he ships pel/pri too

Praxis: That’s kind of cute

Deimos: he would murder you  
dont you dare tell him I told you

Praxis: Haha, won’t promise :)  
But that does make me feel better about things  
I was so mad at him for what he said!  
I forgot all about your sassy deimos art series

Deimos: He’s not so awful once you get to know him <3  
also im pretty dumb and angsty and he’s known me since freshman year  
besties!

Praxis: Haha  
Well it is Earthling bedtime

Deimos: aw <3  
yeah you must still be tired  
poor old man

Praxis: I am!  
Sorry I am lame

Deimos: no I think its cute lol

Praxis: :)  
Okay goodnight

Deimos: niiiiiiight <3

Praxis: Oh  
Feel free to text me anytime  
I’ll turn the beep off if I'm somewhere I can't text or I'm asleep  :)

Deimos: you are so going to regret that  
but ok lol

Praxis: Probably!  
Okay goodnight

Deimos: <3 <3 <3 night!

_Praxis is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Praxis comes online._

 


	17. Chapter 17

subject: Date Night?  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi Aleks!  
This is going to be short since I need to scoot out the door to work, but I’m free Friday night if you want to do a date thing. Online though, I’m not sure I can do the drive again this week. We can just chat or something I guess? Tonight I’m babysitting for my sister so I’ll be busy but feel free to text me whenever.  
-Marcus

 

 

subject: re: Date Night?                                                                                                    
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Look, look! I’m awake at Earthling hours for once! I need to run to the registrar’s office and make sure I’m squared away for Monday. Classes start, did I mention that? I’ll be a lot busier again, expect gross whining and moaning about why I ever thought I wanted to get my MFA. Like, what do I even think I’ll do with it once I have it? Teach? Can you even imagine that? God I’m so useless, it’s pathetic, whine whine whine better go get some cheese.  
Friday night I actually have plans, but I could maybe cancel. Once I think Sacha might be awake I’ll text him to see. He wanted my help getting his piece put together for the show next weekend. I’m really excited for him as much as I’m almost scared to see what he made from the gutted parts of my old car. But it’s at the Grantin arts center and they’re having this reception for him and everything. It’s next weekend. Do you want to maybe come crash? Promise no one will set anything on fire this time. Well, unless Sacha’s piece involves fire but I doubt it. Look it up online and you’ll see how classy it all looks. They do like free wine and cheese and will make Sacha say something about his art, which he fucking hates so it’s worth the cost of admission alone just to watch. (Okay it’s free so you know what I mean). It’s a four hour drive from here but only like an hour, half and a half for you I think, right? We’re staying overnight and then driving back Sunday. Sacha knows a place to crash, but I don’t think I can let you stay with us (not my place, not my friend) but since it’s not so far maybe that’s okay? idk just thinking I want to see you again. I didn’t even get to kiss you last time. Unless we did kiss, and I don’t remember it. Did I get a midnight kiss from you?  
Omg this email is ridiculously long. I didn’t mean for that to happen. I’m going to toss my laptop aside and get dressed now.  
<3 <3 <3  
Aleks

 

 

 

_(Marcus)  
I’m looking at your email right now on my lunch break  
            (Me)  
I’m still waiting at the registrar’s office :c  
(Marcus)  
Really? But you were awake at such a reasonable hour!  
            (Me)  
ikr  
            (Me)  
Here have a dumb selfie lol gpoy  
(Marcus)  
Aw, cute! Here I’ll send one back  
            (Me)  
omg hot stuff in uniform be still my heart  
(Marcus)  
Haha. My work clothes, really?  
            (Me)  
Don’t judge me! They make you look tough  
(Marcus)  
Hey I am definitely not judging you for calling me hot ;)  
            (Me)  
Anyone ever tell you that you are the cutest dork ever when you flirt?  
(Marcus)  
Is that flattery?  
            (Me)  
Shameless flattery  
(Marcus)  
Oh the best kind then  
            (Me)  
Yup  
(Marcus)  
I should eat the rest of my lunch. Keep going, just I need my hands  
            (Me)  
I don’t have anything to say really, just super bored sitting here waiting. I brought my sketchbook but bleh  
            (Me)  
Still there chewing? What’s for lunch? I bet it’s a sandwich. You seem like the apple and sandwich type  
(Marcus)  
Close. Banana and chicken wrap  
            (Me)  
Omg you are too much I love it. Oh! My turn ttyl  
(Marcus)  
Ttyl! _

  


 

subject: re: Date Night?  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

I’m at my sister’s house and this is on my phone so definitely will be short. Did you figure out if you’re free for tomorrow night yet? I told my sister I’d take the girls to the skate rink Saturday before its shut down, but I’ll be home and doing nothing after 8 or 9? Figure that’s not too late for my martian prince ;)  
Let me know!  
-Marcus

 

 

subject: re: Date Night?                                                                                                    
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

I can’t get out of my Friday thing, Sacha really does need my help. Sorry! I’ll be around Saturday though, just text me or whatever for the time. I’ll either be here on my laptop or somewhere else in the apartment near my laptop. Also did you want to come see the art exhibition? Free wine and cheese! Interesting art stuff to look at! Free Deimos kisses! Okay don’t feel pressured, you’ll still be a good boyfriend if you skip. I would completely understand not wanting to drive 3 hours round trip just for the pleasure of looking at a bunch of weird sculptures and hearing Sacha mumble his way through a notecard. Um, the weekend of the 19th I don’t have anything planned. Maybe I could drive down to see you? We can try to beat that zombie game you bought, unless you already beat the rest of it without me. Although if I get assigned some crazy homework I’ll have to do that instead. Maybe I’m a little nervous about classes starting up. I’ve liked winter break a little too much.  
Okay later! <3 Aleks

 

 

myshonok-deimos <=> felixity  
  
| felixity: I’m too ashamed to post this to the archive, but I couldn’t let myshonok-deimos live down her infamous SSC movie night tags. This one’s for you, darling!  
| “O Captain, my Captain!” (Pel/Kit, AU, non-canon compliant, crackfic, underage)  
| Read More →  
  
practically-praxis deserves half the blame for this, why are you all looking at me?!  
  
#what have I done #I said it was a guilty ship #the guiltiest of fucking ships #okay but why is this so hot  
  
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myshonok-deimos <=> maddogcain  
  
| oхуительно!  
  
#I just needed these on my dash again #teh terrible things i would do to pel #wonder if the artist is hot  
  
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subject: re: Date Night?  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

I set my alarm a little early so I’d have plenty of time to write this before going to work. Okay, from last email I didn’t address a few things. First, I did get a midnight kiss from you but it was on the cheek. Also probably like a dozen other people also got a kiss from you. You were all over the place! But it was pretty cute when I could corral you into sticking near me, so I think it would be fun to take you out to a club sometime. Do you ever go? You seemed to really have fun at the party. You’re a good dancer. Maybe we could go out when you come down on the 19th to visit.  
Also just so it is clear, Aidan’s room won’t be an option. (I mean, unless you share the bed with him, but as your boyfriend I’m going to object to that!)  I’ll sleep on the sofa if you want to take my bed, or of course you’re welcome to sleep in my room with me. But I mean literally sleep -- no pressure, good intentions, trying not to trap a poor starving artist in my house again like on Christmas, not planning for anything to happen, etc. But also of course I’m open to whatever else happening. Okay, this isn’t dorky flirting so much as just weird stalker nonsense. Guess you’re not the only one who gets nervous trying to write this stuff, huh? I just don’t want a repeat of last time. Not that I think you will necessarily, just I worry. I still feel bad I could freak you out so terribly that you’d run out like that.  
And yeah I am going to skip the art exhibition. It sounds interesting, but I already had plans for that weekend. I’m going to see a movie with Aidan and some other friends from work. Thanks for inviting me though! Maybe next time. You said that you’re staying with one of Sacha’s friends? He seems to know a lot of people. Are any of them your friends as well? Lots of people knew you at that party. Guess I’m still confused by IRL you. I think I need to meet him a few more times, so I really am sorry to skip the art show. We already bought the tickets or I’d find some excuse to bail. (Okay I also really want to see the movie, it’s that new sci-fi film -- Infinity Edge? The trailer looked so good)  
Oh, about your class schedule. Do you know when all your classes are? What are you taking? I’m very interested! Unless you don’t want to talk about it. Also don’t think that you are useless, because you are definitely not. Do you have any pictures of your non-SSC art? If it’s anything like your SSC art or the Martian landscapes that you did, I’m sure that you’ll be able to sell it or maybe get a job illustrating books? Okay I will admit I don’t know what kinds of careers there are for people with art degrees, but I’m looking at some internet search results that both make me feel like a stalker and say that you have a lot of options. You could work in a museum! That sounds fun.  
Well this email is very long, and I’ve already finished my coffee. I’ll talk to you again soon, if not through email and text then tomorrow night for our date!  
-Marcus

 

 

subject: re: Date Night?                                                                                                    
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Wow, long email you sent me! I love it. I’m sitting here waiting for Sacha to text that he’s on his way over, so I’ll try to address everything I can. Let’s go!  
Okay first - you don’t sound mad about it, but sorry for apparently kissing everyone around me at midnight instead of just you. Oops! And I don’t really go out to clubs because that’s not Sacha’s scene anymore, but yeah I do like loud music and dancing. I guess I really like when it’s so loud that no one’s talking. That no one can talk, because the music is crushing your chest, and then it’s just this vibration and being close to people, even strangers, and it feels like you’re celebrating that silent, anonymous sense of belonging to something, even if it’s just the beat of the music in that moment.  
Sorry, that’s weird and depressing. I’ll be honest that even with your email waiting for me I woke up feeling kind of stressed out and anxious. I’m really nervous about Monday. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, being here in grad school, like why? I enrolled because I didn’t have anything better to do, but I just finished 4 years of school so it’s exhausting. I’m sick of classes and essays and assignments. I’m sick of being stressed about finishing projects I don’t care about, and I’m sick of not caring about my projects. Meeting you has been great so I try to just stay focused on that but it’s hard.  
Ugh, this email is gross. I’m sorry. I’ll write you again later. I’m going to curl up with Tatiana until Sash is here

 

 

_(Marcus)  
Hey I just got home and saw your email, you ok? I’m here if you want to text. Know you said you were busy with Sacha tonight  
(Marcus)  
I’m going to watch a movie with my roommate, but I’ll keep my phone on me. Text when you can? Kind of worried I guess (sorry)  
            (Me)  
Heeelllllooooooooo!!  
            (Me)  
Oooo shit its late  
            (Me)  
sorry I just saw this didnt mean to worry you  
            (Me)  
Text spamming your phone hahaha wheee sp;inny drunk  
(Marcus)  
Hey :)  
            (Me)  
no way  
(Marcus)  
Haha the beeping woke me  
            (Me)  
You said youd turn the beep off!  
(Marcus)  
Tomorrow’s Saturday, no work  
(Marcus)  
Correction today is Saturday  
            (Me)  
yaaaaaay lol sorry  
(Marcus)  
It’s fine glad you texted. Feeling any better?  
            (Me)  
drUnk lol so yes  
(Marcus)  
Everything go ok with the art stuff?  
            (Me)  
Yeah! we ‘re here drinking now  
(Marcus)  
Oh Sacha is with you?  
            (Me)  
Yup and tatiana  
            (Me)  
gpoy  
(Marcus)  
Oh my! Did you just shower?  
            (Me)  
Teehee its pg13 I’ve got my boxers on just bed is soooo snuggly fuck wet hair on my pillow  
            (Me)  
Come join meeeeeeeeeeee  
(Marcus)  
I’m in bed too so okay  
            (Me)  
yaaaaaaay  
(Marcus)  
Thanks for texting but I’m fading to sleep again  
            (Me)  
Earthlings cant handle 3am  
(Marcus)  
Nope ;)  
            (Me)  
goodnnniiiiiightttttt_

  


 

subject: re: Date Night?  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi Aleks! Sorry for falling asleep again so quickly last night (this morning?). I was really glad you texted but honestly so tired! Sounds like you ended up having a fun time. I’m so sorry you were so stressed yesterday about school. I have a lot to say, but we can talk about it tonight. I’ll try to be home around 8 exact but I’ll text you. Drink plenty of water and feel free to spam my phone all you want until I get online. I’ll try to message back, but I’ll have my hands full trying not to be a bad uncle and lose my nieces inside the mall. They roped me into promising to take them to the Hello Kitty store before we do ice skating.

 

 

_(Me)  
Hey looking at your email, sorry too about waking you up like that  
            (Me)  
Really looking forward to seeing you tonight  
(Marcus)  
Hey me too  
            (Me)  
Caught you!  
(Marcus)  
In the hello kitty store send help  
            (Me)  
ngl kind of fucking love hello kitty so I’m on team niece  
(Marcus)  
Now watching them skate  
            (Me)  
Are you skating too?  
(Marcus)  
More like clutching the rail in a circle  
            (Me)  
Jealous sounds like fun anyway better than my dumb day  
(Marcus)  
Back at my sisters house for dinner. Why’s your day dumb?  
            (Me)  
Bored lonely whine and cheese bleh  
            (Me)  
Fuck ignore that so mopey and dumb  
(Marcus)  
Okay texting at the table sorry sis - hi  
            (Me)  
No sorry be with your family I’m fine. I can wait another two hours for our date  
(Marcus)  
Here my niece wants to say hi, here’s a pic  
            (Me)  
Aw she’s cute! Tell her I like her barrette  
(Marcus)  
She says thanks. My sister also says hi  
            (Me)  
Hello!  
(Marcus)  
Whats for dinner on your side of the screen? We’re having chili mac  
            (Me)  
My dinner is ramen and beer. Oh and the last slice of pizza from new years  
(Marcus)  
My sister says you are such a guy. Mind if I show her your selfie from thursday?  
            (Me)  
lol pouting in the registrar’s office? Sure I guess  
(Marcus)  
She thinks you’re cute too. She asks if you have a straight bother  
            (Me)  
lol I have a stepbrother who I assume is straight but idk for sure we barely ever see each other  
(Marcus)  
I didn’t know you had a stepbrother! Or maybe I did  
            (Me)  
Well we’re not close or anything so thats why  
(Marcus)  
I should keep eating  
            (Me)  
Yes go eat! Thanks for the pick-me-up, I can definitely sit here patiently to wait now  
(Marcus)  
Okay see you soon :) _

 

 

Subject: Sunday funday!                                                                                                 
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Okay I don’t really think today is going to be a fun day, but I wanted a new email thread since we already had date night. Thanks for being so sweet about my mopey stress bullshit stuff. You’re right that just because I’m in grad school doesn’t mean I have to stick with it, although I still say that my dad would be fucking pissed as hell if I dropped out after making him pay for a semester. I might as well stick with it. I think I’d rather suffer through something I at least know I’m capable of doing than try to figure out wtf else to do with my life.  
Also you’ll notice that this is being sent at early Earthling morning hours, but it’s really just very late Martian night. I haven’t been able to sleep yet. Just been poking around my apartment feeling sorry for myself still. I’m not sure how much you enjoyed our date, since it was mostly just a lot of me whining and you having to put up with it. What do you even see in me, anyway? Honestly I’m not that friendly of a person, I just get excited about fandom stuff. But I mean I’m glad you like me. I like you. This email sucks. Today sucks. Will suck, I guess, once I sleep so it actually feels like tomorrow rather than Saturday. Martian timezones get weird like that. I definitely should stop typing and sleep. Yeah, laptop away.

 

 

_(Me)  
Hey will you text me when you wake up? Text me until I wake up  
(Marcus)  
Sure, I’ll be an alarm clock!  
(Marcus)  
Oops I’m looking at your email now  
            (Me)  
yay alarm clock  
(Marcus)  
Were you asleep?  
            (Me)  
Kinda  
(Marcus)  
You should sleep, you sent that email at 5am and its 7 now  
            (Me)  
Yeah I know I will I just wanted to say hi to my boyfriend  
(Marcus)  
Oh, okay. Hi!  
            (Me)  
Hey  
(Marcus)  
Feeling okay?  
            (Me)  
Stresssssssss school stuff bleh I’m okay. Sorry for the whiney email  
(Marcus)  
You can send me all the whiney emails you like ;)  
            (Me)  
Yaaaaaaay  
(Marcus)  
Need me to lavish senseless praise at you?  
            (Me)  
No I’m good now really  
            (Me)  
Two hours sleep and a good morning text from my bf is enough to get me smiling again thanks  
(Marcus)  
Anytime ;)  
            (Me)  
Also why do you wake up at 7 on the weekend??  
(Marcus)  
That’s sleeping in for me!  
            (Me)  
Earthlings  <3 okay I’m passing back out, alarm clock me again at noon?  
(Marcus)  
Sure I’m just doing chores today  
            (Me)  
Yay ok thanks <3 _

 

 

myshonok-deimos: Fighting those back to school blues!

Based on turn-0f-mind’s PWP “Study Hours” because college AU is just a thing this fandom needs

#my art #the martian prince #captain pelgrad #star struck chronicles #this is my otp #if only my study sessions went like this

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myshonok-deimos <=> turn-0f-mind  
turn-0f-mind:  
|          myshonok-deimos:  
|           |  
|           | Fighting those back to school blues!  
| BBY YOU SPOIL ME SO MUCH

Only as much as you spoil me!! But I mean if you really want to thank me you could write me a part two… before I decide instead to illustrate felixity's Pel/Kit monstrosity >D

#why yes this is shameless begging #perhaps bribery #or extortion #sassy deimos

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subject: First Day Back  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi Aleks! I don’t think you ever said when you’re classes are. Do you have a lot of night classes? I don’t see you as the sort with an 8am lecture! But maybe you do, who knows. I just got home. I’m going to go make dinner, but I wanted to send this over since I didn’t get a chance to text you at lunch today. After dinner I’ll be free to come back here in the office to chat with you. Otherwise if I go to bed before you’re free, let’s try again for Tuesday night? I thought about you a lot today. Worried about you really, haha. Just hope your semester goes great. I think it will.  
Okay, talk to you soon.  
-Marcus

  


  
Subject: re: First Day Back!                                                                                              
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Heeeeeeyyyyyyyy had fun talking to you tonight! Thanks for getting online even though i texted so late. Feel free to alarm clock me in the morning. Not quite as bad at 8am but still I need to have my butt on campus by 10:30 -- oh but also I mean I’ll set the alarm on my phone too so you don’t have to. Ttyl! <3 Aleks

 

 

subject: re: First Day Back  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi Aleks! Writing this while I wait for you to be online tonight. I’m sending you a picture too that I thought you might like. You know how my sister’s husband is in the navy? He’s out at sea currently but last time he was around this might have happened. (You’re not the only one who gets drunk and does silly things!)

Attachment: uniform.jpg  
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Subject: re: First Day Back!                                                                                              
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Okay like don’t join the military or anything because I wouldn’t be happy if you were gone for months at a time but YES PLEASE MORE UNIFORM DRESS UP! Okay I’m popping open the chat to yell at you properly <3 <3 <3 <3

 

 

subject: Hump Day!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Teehee it’s wednesdaay 3am I know we aledy chatted tonight (last night?) but I’m awake still because omg I am so stressssssssssssssed about school I really dont want to be sdfoing this. How am i idogoing to doo another semester of stress and stuff. I likkke art but idk if i like school even with my therapists letter so like the prorfessors leave me alone but then all the other students. Its jus so many people. I  hate epople. Thtey hate me too my dad hates me and my stepbrtother ad my stepmom and my real mom left. I jkissed sacha  but i didnt tell you because im dumb idk sorry uselsess This is why i got a cat i like my cat and knowing i have acat is nice almost as nice as knowing i have you ugh imn and bored and drunk but i loooooveeeeeeeeeeee yoooouuuuuuuuuuu  <3 <4e4 <3 <3 <43,3 keysmaehfing! Ugh ilu ilu ilu ikluuuu i love you ilu ,23

 

 

_(Me)  
Did you check your email before work this morning?  
            (Me)  
Are you already at work? _

 

 

subject: Delete my last email  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Hey do me a huge favor don’t even open that email I sent you, please? Just delete it. The one called “Hump Day” just delete it please.

 

 

 _(Me)  
Hey I need to put my phone away before class starts but you need to delete the email called Hump Day  
            (Me)  
Please I was drunk just delete it  
            (Me)  
I know you don’t always check your phone at lunch but please I really need you to delete that email don’t read it please  
(Marcus)  
Hi just got home but its deleted  
            (Me)  
Did you read it?  
(Marcus)  
Nope, deleted it  
            (Me)  
You are the fucking best oh my god thank you  
            (Me)  
Thank you literally shaking in relief thank you  
(Marcus)  
No problem  
(Marcus)  
Everything okay?  
            (Me)  
Yes totally fine are you going to be online tonight?  
(Marcus)  
Yup after dinner! Going to get takeout because I feel lazy  
            (Me)  
_ _Cool see you soon!_  


 

 

subject: Weekend at last!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi Aleks! I know you’re going to be busy with the art exhibition but text me lots if you can! Have fun and be safe, drink lots of water if you plan on drinking! Okay I won’t say all my other worry-wort stuff and leave it at that. Except let me know if you send any drunk emails or fanmails I shouldn’t read ;) Okay I’ll stop teasing you about it. I was a good boyfriend and deleted that email, but I’m dying of curiosity what was inside it. Maybe someday you can forward me the copy out of your sent box.  
Well, I’m seeing that movie later today. That should be fun! I wish you were seeing it with me. I’m looking forward to next weekend already! I was just thinking that each of our emails is kind of like a date. I know I look forward to getting them. Chatting and texting is nice, but I like when you can really sink into a subject. I thought what you had to say about dancing and loud music was really beautiful. I’d never thought of it that way before. I see why you like it. Anyway just stuff I’m thinking about. Guess I’m sitting here thinking about you ;)  
Miss you already and talk to you soon  
-Marcus

 


	18. Chapter 18

subject: re: Weekend at last!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Hey Marcus. As you can see it’s brilliantly late Martian hours, so either a long Saturday night or a very early Sunday depending on how you want to interpret this 2am email. I’m sorry I didn’t return any of your texts today. It was a lot of rushing around. Super fun though you really missed out on some cool art and free cheese.  
I’m excited about the 19th you know. If you can’t already tell from my composure (composition?) I am stone sober. Only drug in my system is caffeine. I didn’t feel like drinking I guess. I keep thinking about that email I wrote and then made you delete. Thanks again for that, by the way. Also thanks again for putting up with all my spazzing this week about grad school, my future -- just my angsty dumb life in general. IRL me is a mess. I wish I could just be my fandom self, whoever that is. I wish IRL me could say the kind of stuff you think is cute. I wish I didn’t have to tell you this in an email either, but hopefully you’ll read the whole thing.  
Anyway. The email I made you delete was 95% typical me whining about my life and praising you. The remaining 5% -- Marcus I genuinely like you a lot, so please keep reading after the end of this sentence: I’ve kissed Sacha.  
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It really doesn’t need to be a big deal. It was years ago, freshman year in the dorms. Nothing’s happening between us now and he was never my boyfriend or anything. We never dated. It’s really not a big deal. I didn’t want you to know because honestly, and this is pathetic, but the honest reason is that I didn’t want you to hate me. I know I know “Oh Deimos I wouldn’t hate you” -- but you would have, if I’d told you that night you drilled me about him. You might hate me right now as you’re reading this. You probably do hate me. I’m very easy to hate. I can’t imagine any reason you like me except I put out on the first date.    
But I think you’re great. Amazing, actually. I’m sorry IRL me sucks. I’m painfully aware of how much IRL me sucks.  
I think when I said I was excited about the 19th I meant to say terrified. Hell, I’m scared enough just to send this email. I might keep it in my drafts for the rest of my life. Actually you know what? I

 

 

 _(Me)_  
_Hey hot stuff good morning_  
_(Marcus)_  
_What are you doing awake this early!_  
_(Me)_  
_Suuurrrrrpprrriiiiiissseeee no I’m catching you at the tail end of not sleeping_  
_(Marcus)_  
_Are you really? :( Go to bed!_  
_(Me)_  
_Can’t! Seeking pancakes and coffee for Sacha’s hangover_  
_(Me)_  
_I’m driving_  
_(Marcus)_  
_Right now?? Don’t text and drive!_  
_(Me)_  
_I’m pro at this_  
_(Me)_  
_Still in the driveway jk_  
_(Marcus)_  
_I’ll talk to you when you’re stationary again :)_  
_(Me)_  
_ <3 okaaaay!_

 

 

  
subject: sunday is now crashday  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Hiiiii! Oh my gosh am I so tired. You have no idea. I came home earlier and collapsed. Totally dressed, too. I literally just sat down, flopped over, and didn’t move for like five hours. Tatiana woke me up to get fed. Good to know that in the event of my unfortunate demise that my cat might alert the authorities if only to get her food bowl refilled!  
I’m really looking forward to seeing you this upcoming weekend btw. lol it’s only Sunday and I’m ready for Friday… are you sure you’d be willing to take IRL me to a club?? I’m only going if we’re drinking. Emphasis on we. I’ll pay for the cab. I made it far enough into the semester (lol 1 week) to get the tuition check from my dad. I’m a high roller this weekend. <3 Consider it a bribe for putting up with IRL me.  
It’s late enough I think you might be in bed already. Sorry again for not emailing or texting you earlier. <3 <3 Later!

 

 

  
subject: Re: sunday is now crashday  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi, Aleks! Sounds like you had a fun weekend. Uneventful, hopefully, no stepped-on nails or partial trespassing this time! I was already in bed by the time you send that email, and I’m willing to bet you’re asleep right now as I’m sending this one. Or at least I hope my poor Martian prince is getting some much-needed sleep! I’ll have to start saving up extra sleep this week, to prepare for keeping up with you this weekend. Honestly the prospect is a little intimidating. I’m not sure if you remember how exceptionally bad I am at dancing! Okay, maybe I’m having some second thoughts about my cavalier offer to take you out to a club. Aidan’s been teasing me about it, I think that’s why I’m getting self-conscious. I’ll suck it up and have fun, promise :) Just don’t be too disappointed if I try hiding somewhere. You might need to drag me back to the dance floor... I keep reminding myself that the club probably meets fire code, unlike that warehouse! But I’ll try not to worry about it and just have fun. Ah, it’s only Monday, and already I wish it was Friday...  
Talk to you soon  
-Marcus

 

 _(Me)_  
_Chat tonight?_  
_(Marcus)_  
_Sure! 7 ok?_  
_(Me)_  
_Yeah!_

 

 

subject: Quick thing I drew  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Hey hey hey good-looking, you’re still at work, but here’s a surprise for when you get home! I got bored and decorated the margins of my notes with SSC characters. I stuck this in my queue for the weekend, but you can have a sneak peek!

Attachment: sketchysketchilu.png  
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subject: Re: Quick thing I drew  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

These are cute! Don’t think I didn’t notice you put an eyepatch on Pelgrad again…

 

 

subject: Re: Quick thing I drew  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

He looks so good in it I can’t help myself!

 

 

subject: Glorious Thursday  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

ONE MORE DAY UNTIL FRIDAY AAAHHHHHHHHHH yes I’m excited if you can’t tell! Since youre being Good Uncle Praxis tonight on babysitting duties we wont get to chat but I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE YOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU tomorrrooooooooowwwwww TOMORROW! Friday is tomorrow! Okay so maybe since I knew we werent chattig tonight Im drunk cleaning my apartment. Dont worry I plan to hide my laptop and phone after this, no too-drunk emails being composed tonight. Just cleaning, im only going to clean tonight vwahaha run dust bunnies run!!! Oops ok blurry gonna hide you

 

subject: Re: Glorious Thursday  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi Aleks! Did you catch all the dust bunnies? As you can probably guess, I’m sending this before leaving for work. I’m on my phone in the driveway letting the car warm up a little. It’s supposed to warm up later today at least. Well I slept in a little so this is all I have time to write. I will … see you later!  
\- Marcus

 

 

 _(Me)_  
_Hey! In my car with my stuff, heading out_  
_(Me)_  
_See you in like 3 hours_  
_(Me)_  
_jk stopped to get gas like two feet from my house I’m a mess_  
_(Me)_  
_Where do you put your phone when youre working? Does it stay in your pocket?_  
_(Me)_  
_Tell me later when you get a chance to read through all these. Im curious where I hang out all day_  
_(Me)_  
_me being the phone that is_  
_(Me)_  
_holy shit gas is expensive_  
_(Me)_  
_OK I’m off for reals now_  
_(Me)_  
_seeeeeeeeeeee_  
_(Me)_  
_yoooooouuuuuu_  
_(Me)_  
_SOOOOOOON_  
_(Me)_  
_I’m heeeeeere!_  
_(Me)_  
_ <3!_

 

 

Aleks drummed his fingers into the steering wheel and looked again to the front door of Marcus’ house. He glanced down at his phone and tapped to make sure the screen would stay lit. No new messages. He picked up his phone with a sigh and then sent another heart, only this time with a question mark. He looked to the house, carefully checking the front windows for a hint of shadow or motion.

Marcus could still be driving home, could have gotten caught by his boss on the way out the door. Only one way to find out, really. Aleks thumbed into the contact listing and then tapped to start the call.

“Aleks?”

His teeth clenched at hearing the shock in Marcus’ voice. For some dumb reason, Aleks thought it’d be like when he did this to Sacha. He wondered yet again what he thought he was doing, like he hadn’t thought that enough already on the drive down.

Marcus covered enough to say swiftly, “Hi! I heard you texting, sorry, I’m guessing you beat me home? There’s a key under the mat you can use, so you don’t have to wait outsi--”

Aleks snatched his phone down and skipped a trembling finger over the red dot enough times that the call ended. He wished he hadn’t asked Sacha to cat-sit. It cost him a six-pack, a frozen pizza, and the unknown disaster that always happened when he left Sacha alone in the apartment for an entire weekend. It’d also cost him Tatiana, so that Aleks only had his backpack to drag out of the passenger seat.

The car door made a good satisfying slam. He shoved his phone into his pocket before going up to the door. The scratchy woven straw of the mat snatched at his skin as he tore it from the cement porch to expose the slim little key waiting there. The metal key stabbed and skipped over the knob before Aleks jammed it into place, twisted hard, and burst into Marcus’ house. He threw down his backpack harder than he should, given that his laptop was inside.

“Marcus?” called a voice. Someone appeared in the kitchen doorway, and Aleks felt his stomach drop. Marcus’ roommate seemed not half as startled as Aleks felt. The reaction made sense once he said casually, “Oh. Hey. You must be Aleks.”

The roommate yawned and lifted the mug of coffee in his hand up to his face. He was short, small, with flattened spirals of blond hair and round nose, rounded cheeks, glass-pale freckles -- cute. He was cute. And half-dressed, just wearing a t-shirt and boxers as he stood there eyeing Aleks.

“Well, Marcus isn’t home.” It’d just been several painfully awkward minutes of the both of them staring without saying anything up to that point. “Um, I’m making breakfast. Make yourself cozy, or whatever.” He gestured a bit and then turned to go back into the kitchen.

Aleks slowly picked up his backpack from the floor and kept it held close as he peeked around the doorway into the kitchen. The roommate stood at the stove to monitor the hiss and crackle of bacon cooking, the mug of coffee still in hand. He only seemed half-awake even though it was late afternoon.  

Aleks ducked his head back before he could get caught watching. He looked to the front door, put his gaze over the living room, and then retreated down the hall to find the closed door to Marcus’ room. He set his sweaty palm on the cool metal of the knob and then wiped his hand on the denim press of his thigh, second-guessing himself at frantic speed. Aleks checked down the hall toward the front half of the house.  

He went into the office instead, the door reassuringly half-open already. He stared at Marcus’ leather swivel chair in front of the immaculately clean desk with the blacked monitor in sleep mode. The computer hummed quietly, the internal components whirling and clicking, and Aleks settled down on the floor near it.

He sat cross-legged and got out his laptop to balance over his knee. There was nothing all that interesting on his blog, but he scrolled through it anyway before pulling open some of his homework. He pointed his eyes at the screen without seeing the words of the article and then thumped the back of his head into the desk once he’d gotten tired of pretending to read.

If he bailed, Marcus would never invite him over again. Aleks rubbed at his face and then set his laptop aside. What he wouldn’t give for a tubby soft belly to scratch, but instead he had to ask Sacha to cat-sit. He was going to come home to find his apartment on fire. He was going to find Tatiana trapped in the closet or lost in the cabinets. Maybe that was a good enough reason to leave.

The drifting sound of voices elsewhere in the house brought Aleks’ chin off his knees. He scrambled up from the floor and hopped over his laptop and backpack to avoid kicking either on the way over to the door. He nudged around it enough to peer down the hall.

Marcus stood in the entry wearing his work uniform of blue coveralls and held a grubby well-worn backpack at his side. Standing next to him was the roommate, still half-dressed and toting around that coffee mug. Aleks stood frozen a heartbeat longer before slipping out of his hiding spot.

“Dunno,” the roommate said. “Somewhere. You want anything? I can make you a BLT.”

“No, thanks, I think we’re -- hi, Aleks!” Marcus caught sight of him and smiled. Aleks got closer, saw Marcus shift, and this time didn’t make things nearly as awkward as he decided to edge in for the one-arm hug being offered.

Marcus squeezed him then let him go under the watchful, smirking-cute smile of the roommate. Aleks looked down at his sneakers and felt heat fill his face.

“You met Aidan already, right? Aidan, this is Aleks. Aleks, this is Aidan -- my roommate.”

Aleks flicked his gaze sideways to the hallway.

“Oh, we met. Hi, again, good morning.” The roommate lifted the coffee mug in salute. “Are you staying for dinner-slash-breakfast?”

“Aidan works the night shift, did I explain that? You’re both Martians. Er -- night owls, I mean.” Marcus smiled between them for a moment before looking to Aleks. “I didn’t expect you this early. I need to shower and change before anything else… Aidan can keep you company though, that way I won’t feel like I’m totally neglecting my hosting duties.”

He laughed. Aleks didn’t so much as smile. He glanced from his sneakers to the roommate’s bare feet and back, that was it. When he stayed that way -- head down, shoulders up, silent -- awkwardness rose uncomfortably between them. Rather than stick around to see how it resolved, Aleks turned and hurried for the office. He didn’t need company while he waited, he’d brought his laptop, his tablet, a sketchbook, plenty of things to entertain himself with while he waited.

Aleks rushed into the office and closed the door much too loud, almost slamming it. He pressed his back against the painted wood and rubbed a shaking hand over his forehead. He never should have asked Sacha to cat-sit. Tatiana was going to find a way down the stairs. Once she managed all the way across the street before Aleks caught her. He dug his phone from his pocket and hastily tapped a message to Sacha.

A quiet knock startled him into nearly dropping his phone. He tucked it away quickly. “Aleks?” came Marcus’ voice from the other side of the door. “Hey, can… I come in?”

Aleks looked to the knob, but it didn’t have a lock. Strange that Marcus would ask it that way, when this was his house, his office. Aleks backed away from the door before realizing that wouldn’t work -- he hurried forward again to open the door. Just a small amount, enough to give his answer.

Marcus eased the door open a little further and then pushed his head through, followed by a shoulder and then more once realizing it was clear. Aleks gathered his laptop from the floor. He stood there holding it next to Marcus’ desk, hopefully looking like he came in here for some reason other than to hide.

“Did the drive go okay?” Judging by the tentative, worried smile, Marcus hadn’t come in here just to ask that, but Aleks nodded anyway. It got him a murmured response back of, “That’s good.”

Clearly Marcus didn’t know what else to say. He looked around the room, and Aleks tried not to stare at the deliberate way Marcus turned his head to compensate for his missing eye. Aleks carefully set his laptop on the desk and then got his phone out of his pocket.

“Oh,” said Marcus. Quietly, sounding surprised, maybe disappointed -- Aleks glanced up quickly, but already the man’s expression was changing. Noticing he had Aleks’ attention, Marcus popped together a quick smile. “My phone’s in the other room.”

Now sounding apologetic, so that Aleks just shrugged. He tapped quickly, took a step closer to Marcus, and then held the phone out to show the _Sorry_ waiting to be sent. No point in sending it, if Marcus was just going to read it from the screen. Marcus took a step closer as well and tilted his head some to bring the small characters into focus.

Aleks pulled the phone back once Marcus glanced to him. He shrugged again and dropped his eyes to the screen. Sacha’s reply arrived as he watched, so Aleks tapped into the message notification. He wasn’t even at the apartment yet, which meant Tatiana was probably on the kitchen windowsill plotting her escape or waiting for Aleks’ car to return. He should have brought her with him, even at the risk of stressing her out with a long car ride.

“Aleks?” He looked up to find Marcus watching him with another tentative and worried smile. “Did you want to come meet Aidan, maybe? I think you’ll like him, you two have a lot in common.”

“You could play that zombie game together,” Marcus offered. After a good stretch of awkward silence, too, so that Aleks brought his shoulders together and then kept them there. He leaned into the edge of the desk.

“Aidan’s good at video games. The game system’s his,” Marcus continued. “I bet you’ve played a lot of the same games. And Aidan draws, sort of, he does pixel art on the computer. It’s pretty neat, I bet he’d be happy to show you some.”

More silence, not even a shrug since that’d require first lowering his shoulders out of their defensive hunch.

“Hey, Aleks?” Marcus’ tone changed, softening into something of a hush like sharing a secret. “I already explained everything, so you don’t have to be nervous. Aidan knows you don’t talk.”

Aleks felt his brows make a desperate collision. Marcus kept speaking, rushing the words faster like that might make them less terrible. “I can give you Aidan’s number, or loan him my phone if that’s easier. Or you can use a notebook! That was Aidan’s suggestion, except I told him you probably text faster than you can write by hand.”

Numb spread into his fingers and toes as Aleks stood there. He wasn’t sure he was breathing anymore. He stared at Marcus’ smile until became painfully obvious that everything just said was the entirely wrong thing to have been said. The smile faded. Aleks pulled his gaze away before he could see what replaced it.

He looked to the floor instead, at his sneakers and then over at Marcus’ socks peeking out from the frayed cuff of the coveralls. Aleks hastily started to take off his shoes. He should have thought to do that at the door. He flicked his attention up to Marcus just briefly, just long enough to see the continued lack of smile. Marcus looked confused again, like he had on New Year’s, only worse because Aleks felt certain that anger wasn’t making up the other half of his bewilderment. He seemed disappointed.

Aleks’ fingers twitched around the edge of his phone. He clutched the device into the knots tumbling around his middle. He turned his head aside and pressed further against the edge of the desk. Unless he either tried crawling over the desk or sliding around to the side somehow, Aleks was trapped. He took in one quick breath and then another.

The jittery sensation only got worse, especially as Marcus shifted another step closer. “Aleks? I’m sorry, should I not have said anything? I didn’t think it was a secret, necessarily, I mean -- it’s pretty obvious, he was going to notice, I just didn’t want him to blurt anything out and embarrass you…”

Aleks shook his head, slow at first, and then frantic as Marcus just wouldn’t shut up about it. He gripped tighter into his phone and shook his head again, breath rushing in dangerous ways now. He should have brought Tatiana, to hell with listening to her complain about it half the drive, he should have just looked up online if it’d really hurt her, or sucked it up and taken her to the vet’s office to ask.

“Aleks…?”

This was such a disaster. He hadn’t even managed to get through the first night of the trip, not even the first hour of being inside Marcus’ house. Aleks shook his head again, eyes scrunched tight. It helped not to see how close Marcus stood.

When a touch fell against his elbow, Aleks nearly separated from his skin to avoid it. He dove sideways and checked wildly except the room hadn’t changed any between one panicked breath and the next. Still just the one door, with Marcus in the way, so he scurried to get the desk chair between them. He jammed his phone into his pocket before grabbing at the back of the chair. He swiveled it between them with a wide-eyed wariness, staring directly at the shocked, startled arrangement of Marcus’ handsome features.

Aleks had only thought it was awkward before. Awareness of how incredibly weird this must be for Marcus did not help him in the least. His gaze flicked to the door. Trembles shook through him. He would have paid literally any price to have Sacha burst into the room in that exact moment. He shouldn’t have lied about where he was going for the weekend.

“Okay.” Marcus recovered enough from his shock to start smiling again, in a very obviously forced and placating kind of way. “Okay, Aleks, I’m sorry.” It seemed almost like a question.

Very quickly, Aleks looked between the door and Marcus. At a much slower pace, Marcus carefully made the same check, only he moved toward the door as well.

“I’ll go ahead and shower now.” Marcus spoke slowly, obviously trying not to drive Aleks any further into panic. It kind of helped. More helpful was the way Marcus opened the door and started to put himself on the other side of it. “There’s a powerstrip under the desk if you need to plug in your laptop. Do you need the wifi password again?”

Aleks shook his head. He dug his fingers into the leather upholstery of the desk chair. Marcus’ frowning look of disappointed-confusion somehow hurt worse than seeing him angry-confused at New Year’s.

“Okay,” Marcus said softly. He seemed reluctant to leave, hesitating over something. After a bit of effort, his smile took on a more genuine edge. “I’m glad you’re here, Aleks. Tonight’s going to be a lot of fun. And, ah, Aidan won’t bother you in here. Sorry about all that.”

Marcus held a steadily worried frown until Aleks gave him a flinching kind of nod, a rapid bob up and down where he agreed to something without actually understanding it. Only when Marcus nodded back with relief and slipped out of the room did Aleks realize just what he’d agreed to -- not bolting. Which meant it’d been an option.

Aleks eased himself into the desk chair and sat cross-legged in it. He grabbed the edge of the desk and dragged the chair closer to his laptop so he could snag it. He glanced at the door, but he couldn’t hear anything. He pulled his laptop the rest of the way into his lap and then glanced at the door once more, just to be certain.

Aleks sat like that for a while, periodically checking the door while he idly looked through his email and blog. He brought up his Star Struck art folder to rename and reorganize some of the files. When a soft knock and Marcus’ voice called to him, Aleks closed the lid on his laptop and peered expectantly at the door.

“Aleks?” Concern sharpened his tone as Marcus knocked again, a bit louder.

Belatedly Aleks hopped to his feet and went to the door. He popped the latch and then hurried back a few quick steps, so that he was still backing up when Marcus peeked into the room. A flash of relief plucked a smile over his face. “Hi.”

Aleks lifted his hand some.

The smile spread as Marcus stepped further into the room. His dark hair shone sleek and damp from the shower, and Aleks found his gaze settling on the indent of the elastic band as it ran over Marcus’ brow and disappeared into his hair. As he watched, Marcus’ fingers caught strands and pulled them from beneath the band. They flopped back into place in heavy, damp clumps.

Aleks’ fingers twitched against his thigh. He glanced sideways at his backpack. Not knowing if he’d get disappointed-confusion or angry-confusion again made him keep still, though, rather than dart for his sketchbook. He looked back to Marcus only to see it was too late -- entirely too late, the two states of confusion had merged on him. Aleks froze, staring helplessly at Marcus.

From his pocket came a short vibration. A new text. Aleks pulled his phone out without pulling his eyes from Marcus. Only once he was certain Marcus didn’t intend to get any closer, Aleks glanced down at the screen.

 

 _(Sacha)_  
_chunky ran off_  
_(Sacha)_  
_shes dead now_

 

Aleks snorted softly and cradled the phone comfortably to type his reply.

 

 _(Me)_  
_That joke is never funny_  
_(Sacha)_  
_says u_  
_(Me)_  
_Ever heard of the boy who cried wolf? What am I going to do the day she really does escape on you?_  
_(Sacha)_  
_fatass cant run far_  
_(Me)_  
_Not reassuring. She’s quicker than you think_  
_(Sacha)  
shes lazier than u think_

 

“Aleks?”

He glanced up from his phone to find Marcus watching. Aleks felt the smile on his face as a slow awareness of tight cheeks and crinkled eyes. Soon as he realized what he was doing, he stopped. An abrupt stop, too, flinching his expression precisely like being caught at something. Aleks hastily thumbed off the phone screen and tucked the device back into his pocket.

“Everything all right?”

Aleks nodded without lifting his head. Marcus had put on socks again, different ones, these were white still but had green stitching along the toes. He saw Marcus’ socks come closer, and Aleks resisted the urge to flee. He glanced up instead.

Marcus stopped moving like that single wary flick of Aleks' gaze turned him to stone. A nervous smile caught at the corner of his mouth. “Sure,” he said suddenly. As if Aleks had been the one asking questions, which didn’t make sense. It made even less sense that Marcus smiled again and backed toward the door.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he said. “I’ll be in my room. It’s just next door, across the hall. I’ll leave the door open. Think about what you might want for dinner. I actually have groceries this time, or I’ll treat you somewhere if you want. Or we can order pizza again. I’m not picky.”

Another smile, this one warm and not so awkward, even though Aleks hadn’t done anything beside freeze in place. Marcus nodded slightly and then left, the door pulling into a tight, secure click after him.

Aleks stayed rooted exactly where he’d been left. After several minutes his pocket buzzed, and he slipped his phone out to take a quick peek at the notification. Sacha, asking about a specific video game. Aleks directed him to the shelves and guessed correctly on the second try at which wrong-case he might have stuffed it in on accident. Someday he’d get all the cases open to swap the discs around properly.  

He got nothing back from Sacha after that. He could imagine his friend sitting there in the beanbag, probably already started drinking the case of beer Aleks left as payment. Aleks wished he was there as well, either stretched out on the floor or curled up on the bed, maybe already drunk and too lazy to do much than flick his fingers at Tatiana.

Cautiously he looked at the door. Aleks crept a little closer and silently worked the knob over. A smooth, soundless crack appeared for him to peek into the hall. Aleks pushed the door open a little further and strained his hearing.

 

 _(Me)_  
_Are you in your room still?_

 

 

Aleks waited nervously, but the reply appeared almost immediately.

 

 

 _(Marcus)  
_ _I am! :)_

 

 

First he peered down the hall to make sure the coast was clear, no one in the entry or the bits of dining room and living room he could see on either side. Facing him across the hall was the open door to Marcus’ room, although Aleks couldn’t see much except the side of a dresser. Midway down the hall was the roommate’s open door. Aleks ducked his head back and eased the office door closed a bit more, so it was just his original cracked-open peep hole.

 

 _(Me)  
_ _Will you be mad forever if I go home?_

 

No reply appeared, and Marcus didn’t appear in the open doorway either. Aleks kept his hand on the office door, ready to flinch it fully shut if needed. At last his phone buzzed.

 

 _(Marcus)_  
_No. I won’t be mad._  
_(Me)  
What then? Disappointed?_

 

 

Aleks stared down at the screen like he could will the words into appearing. He didn’t even know what he wanted to see from Marcus, the truth or a lie, because that angry-confused-disappointment said plenty already. Abruptly Aleks found himself wondering if that was the same expression Marcus made when they talked online, only without Aleks around to watch.

 

 _(Marcus)  
_ _A little_

 

Nothing else followed.

 

 _(Me)  
_ _I’m sorry_

 

Still nothing.

 

 _(Me)_  
_If I left right now I’d be home early enough we could chat online before bed_  
_(Me)_  
_You know that zombie game can be played online too_  
_(Me)_  
_I’m worried about Tatiana_  
_(Me)_  
_I left her alone with Sacha_  
_(Me)_  
_I’m sorry_  
_(Marcus)_  
_So you’re leaving?_  
_(Me)_  
_I was thinking about it?_  
_(Marcus)_  
_OK_

 

Aleks looked from his phone screen the open bedroom door and back again.

 

 _(Me)_  
_Unless you don’t want me to?_  
_(Me)  
Did you want me to stay?_

 

  
  
Peripheral movement brought Aleks’ head up. Marcus filled the bedroom doorway, phone in hand and a puzzled frown twisting his brow beneath the patch. He glanced down at his phone screen, but Aleks slowly easing the office door open soon caught his attention. Aleks led with a timid, flimsy smile that nearly collapsed when Marcus just looked surprised to see him. Before Aleks could jerk back into his hiding place, though, Marcus hastily threw together a smile.

“I want you to stay,” he said. And then, even with that out of the way, Marcus kept at it. “I’d like it, Aleks, if you stayed. I don’t want you to feel like you have to though, or that I’ll be mad if you leave -- I won’t be mad, but, yeah, I will be disappointed. I’d be devastated if you left, but that’s just because I’ve been looking forward to seeing you this weekend so much. I think the club tonight will be fun, and, I’m sorry about Aidan. I’m sorry I ambushed you with him like that. I might have gone overboard on trying to play friendship matchmaker. I guess I just didn’t want you to hate my best friend.”

It was obviously too much for him to fit into a text message. It might have taken Marcus all night to get that typed out. Aleks stared at him.

Slowly his head turned to the side while his eyes stayed locked on Marcus’ chagrined look of apology. At the last second Aleks flicked his gaze to the open door further down the hall. He leaned slightly and tilted his head but still couldn’t see the roommate anywhere. He returned his attention to Marcus. Aleks hadn’t realized the roommate was also the best friend. He should have. Marcus didn’t talk about many other friends in his emails or chats.

Heat rushed into his cheeks. Aleks tucked his head down and then lifted his shoulders. He fiddled with his phone and then hastily tapped a response.

 

 _(Me)  
_ _I don’t hate your best friend_

 

“That’s good,” Marcus said quietly.

Aleks glanced up at him for the strange tone but found no explanation either in the soft look he got in return. He fussed at his bangs and ducked his head down again to behind the long concealing sweep. A sideways step nudged him into Marcus, another small step squished him in further. By the time Aleks folded his shoulders together, Marcus figured out it was a hug and put an arm around him.

“Thanks,” Marcus said, in that same quiet tone. The word brushed into Alek’s hair along with the press of Marcus’ lips. “Does this mean you’ll stay?”

His cheek rubbed into the soft cotton of Marcus’ shirt as Aleks nodded. The arm around him tightened. Aleks glanced up to see a bright smile getting aimed down at him, and he ducked his head swiftly to conceal a matched smile of his own.

 


	19. Chapter 19

“I’m getting another beer, do you want one?”

Aleks nodded without lifting his head from the sideways droop over his sketchbook. He felt the bed shift as Marcus got up, and his pencil stopped long enough to compensate for the motion. Soon as his drawing surface stabilized, Aleks resumed. A few quick flicks extended the line of the Prince’s arm for him, but then Aleks decided he didn’t like the angle and modified it some, lightly whisking the graphite into a better position with a series of incremental strokes.

Voices drifted indistinctly from further down the hall, and Aleks glanced to the half-open bedroom door as he heard footsteps approaching. To his relief, only Marcus appeared in the doorway. No sign of the roommate, even though Aleks kept hearing him elsewhere in the house. Every time Marcus left the room, he heard them talking without knowing what was being said.

Marcus smiled and held out the koozy-clad beer can. “Here you go. Hey, that’s looking really good!”

Aleks sat upright with his legs crossed and accepted the beer. He crunched the lever into the tab to open it and then nudged the sketchbook toward Marcus a little in silent go-ahead to get a better look. Once he finished getting the Prince’s arms around Pelgrad, it’d be more or less complete.

Marcus picked up the sketchbook. “Are you going to post it to your blog?” He eased onto the bed near the nightstand, where he’d been sitting before with his back against the headboard.

Aleks shrugged and accepted the sketchbook back from Marcus. Maybe if he got desperate, later in the semester. He didn’t plan to do more with the sketch, like scan it for a digital inking or anything. He set it aside for the moment. Maybe he’d leave the Prince in a wispy state of never having hands. He hated drawing hands.

Marcus shifted his long legs on top of the patterned comforter and crossed his feet at the ankles. He looked nice, lounged into his bed like this, with the dark-stained wood headboard at his back. Even the way he held his beer and lifted the can struck Aleks as oddly graceful, like if instead they were at a fancy dinner together rather than washing down delivery pizza with cheap lager.

Ordering pizza had been Marcus’ decision, after over an hour of Aleks just shrugging his way through intermittent questions about what else he might want to eat -- or, rather, where else he might want to go, what else he might want to do besides hide. Shrugging got him out of needing to answer or explain himself -- shrugs were useful like that. Truly a universal gesture.

The sudden unease to Marcus’ smile clued Aleks in to the fact he was staring. Tell-tale warmth flooded his face. He and Marcus both looked away at nearly the same time, with the same flinching quickness. Aleks’ throat flexed around a quick chugged effort at getting more beer inside him faster. Sooner he moved past the flirty-tipsy stage and went straight into horny-blackout the better.

Aleks lowered the can with a scrunched-together expression of containing a burp. He pressed the back of his wrist to his mouth and made a soft, “Pah!” Sacha always teased him for never being able to take an entire can down in one go. Sacha could, shotgunning it from the bottom or chugging from the top. Best Aleks ever managed was dribbling beer all over his face. He’d given up after a few months’ concentrated effort. He knew precisely how much he could take from the top -- only six ounces, half a can. He owned a measuring cup, thanks to his own stupid determination.

“You know, I nearly just reminded you to slow down, until I remembered we’re pre-gaming on purpose.” Marcus flashed him a nervous smile.

Had he looked this nervous before going to talk to the roommate again? Aleks thought all the time he’d spent quietly drawing while sprawled on Marcus’ bed might have reassured him that Aleks really did plan to stick it out this time. He’d gotten too drunk to drive himself anywhere, that was proof enough he planned to stay. That he had to stay, at least the first night. Bailing wasn’t an option anymore.

After this beer, maybe, they could leave. He’d do better at the club anyway, somewhere loud and crowded. He could hide in plain sight there. Aleks flicked a guilty look to the door.

Marcus sat forward. His feet slipped from the bed same as the smile slipped from his face. “Did you want me to leave?”

Aleks turned his head, fixing Marcus with the full of his attention. Confusion worked knots over his brow as he considered the question and overly concerned tone. His head tipped to the side.

Apparently Aleks’ little ‘say what?’ gesture wasn’t universal like shrugging, since Marcus got to his feet. “Sure. No problem, sorry,” he said quickly.

Aleks shook his head, but that pushed Marcus another step closer to the door.

“I’ll check my email. I’ll be in the office.”

Precisely as if these were decisions being made in the instant Marcus said them, but he sounded so bewilderingly confident about them. He certainly spoke faster than he typed, although, sometimes he spoke very slow when being careful. Marcus was just like his typing, actually. Everything -- his texts, his emails, his house, his entire life -- everything matched, how he was online and in person. It was put together and thought out, everything so orderly and nice, all this time and care put into the upkeep and maintenance of a well-ordered, pleasant life. It didn’t seem fair.

Hastily Aleks made a quick beckoning gesture to invite Marcus back, but he’d already turned for the door. The gesture was being made at the glossy-dark back of his head. Without thinking, Aleks snapped his fingers like calling for Tatiana.

It certainly got him Marcus’ attention. They stared at each other, Marcus looking surprised and then confused, Aleks’ expressions mirroring that of his host. How had things seemed less awkward between them when shit was literally on fire?

The only source of combustion in the room was the scarlet-hot shame crawling up Aleks’ neck. He upended the rest of the rest of his beer and then held out the empty can, like it’d be any less rude to have snapped at Marcus for that reason instead.

“Sure.” Marcus sounded as wary as he looked. “Sure, I’ll get you another?”

Aleks nodded, one quick up-down affirmation. He waited until Marcus came near and then pulled the can back a little, his intent to lure Marcus even closer. Getting off the bed might involve falling.

Marcus grabbed at the empty air alongside the can, and Aleks knew he’d fucked up. Soon as he saw the sudden downward pull of Marcus’ mouth and the forward slope of his brow, soon as he saw that determined one-eyed glare, Aleks realized his mistake. It didn’t seem like Marcus knew it’d been on purpose though, which immediately made everything a million times worse. Marcus went for a second attempt, and Aleks held the can absolutely steady. He should have known better than to give Marcus a moving target to grab.

Soon as Marcus left, Aleks flopped face-first into the comforter. Chugging that beer had been a mistake. Coming here had been an awful mistake. Giving out his real name, his address, texting, all of it -- a mistake. Of course things were only going to get awkward the more Marcus got to know him and not Deimos.

Aleks grit his teeth around a whine and scrunched his eyes shut against tears. He should have brought a handle of vodka with him. He could have chugged it while hiding in the office the first go-around, that way Aleks could do something other than make a complete fool of himself and anger-confuse-disappoint Marcus. It was so much easier to not give a shit about awkward silences when drunk.

He should have brought Tatiana. People liked to pet her, she did great at introductions. Holding her gave him something to do besides look at his feet. It gave him a good excuse not to get hugged or touched otherwise, because he was already busy holding a cat. He should have insisted Marcus come to his place instead.

If he bailed, that’d be it. This was his third strike. He’d fucked up both Christmas and New Year’s, but all he had to do tonight was not spazz long enough to get drunk -- blackout drunk -- for when Marcus dragged him home from the club. And he needed to make sure Marcus drank, too, so they’d repeat Christmas and have sex. If Marcus was going to put up with him, Aleks needed to be sure he put out. He’d need to hide his car keys, in case he woke up with the urge to bail.

Maybe he could give them to Marcus. Snap the explanation at his boyfriend like bossing around his cat. Morse code snaps maybe, snap once for ‘do you hate me?’ and snap twice for ‘do you regret this?’

He should have stayed home, made up an excuse. Like a sudden onset of fever. Food poisoning, maybe, or alcohol poisoning. He should have drank more while cleaning his apartment. Chugged the drain cleaner maybe.

A shocked voice reached through his misery. “Aleks?”

How far did Aleks think the kitchen was, that it wouldn’t take Marcus more than a few minutes to walk to the fridge and back? Did Aleks really think he’d be able to get away with face-down sobbing on Marcus’ bed without anyone noticing? How could beer betray him like this? Aleks didn’t want to be mopey-drunk, he needed to be horny-drunk.

Without lifting his head, Aleks swept his hand over the bed beside him. His fingers brushed along the hard edge of his phone, but he knocked it further away rather than closer. Sniffling to try stopping the wet flow, he turned his head enough to glare through tears. He dragged his head up and rubbed his sleeve into his face. Aleks peeked through his bangs at the doorway, but it was empty. No one on the bed, nothing different or out of place on the nightstand. He snatched up his phone before it could escape the bed.

Aleks sat upright. Nothing different either on the bookcase, jammed with all of Marcus’ worn copies of everything read a dozen times. The mirror-topped dresser, still spartan bare except for a framed photos of his family on either side. The bathroom door, closed but for an inch of darkness. Closet door, fully closed. Laundry hamper, discretely tucked into the corner.

And then an unopened beer, sitting in its koozy and carefully set on the floor. That was new. It felt a bit like a trap somehow, small aluminium bait left unattended in the empty doorway. Aleks retreated to the headboard while keeping his eyes on the half-open door to the hall. His phone vibrated in his hand. A new text from Marcus.

He snapped a quick glance from the screen to the doorway. Empty.  

 

_(Marcus)  
Are you online? :) _

 

Aleks checked the doorway first before glancing at where his backpack slumped beside the dresser.

 

_(Me)  
no _

 

He glanced again to the doorway and then settled more comfortably to start typing.

 

  
_(Me)_  
_but I stopped crying_  
_(Me)_  
_yyaaaay?_  
_(Me)_  
_bring me cheese i have whine?_  
_(Me)_  
_lied no wine here just me_  
_(Me)_  
_mopey drunk me blububub_  
_(Me)_  
_:c ilu_  
_(Me)_  
_sorry_  
_(Marcus)_  
_OK!_  
_(Marcus)_  
_its ok_  
_(Marcus)_  
_u r so fast!_  
_(Me)_  
_Haha now you sound like Sacha <3 _  
_(Me)_  
_OMG NOPE_  
_(Me)_  
_FML_

 

For a half-second, Aleks feared he’d broken the dresser mirror. He covered his mouth with both hands. Air sucked in through his fingers. This couldn’t be happening.

Footsteps, approaching, and then Marcus in the doorway. He last-minute dodged the beer can, needing to turn his entire head down much too far to find it. His awkward side-step was just as fumbling as the way he asked -- “Aleks? What was that? Are you okay?”

All Aleks could think to do was jerk a hand from his mouth to point at the dresser. Like he was accusing his phone of something. Everything, maybe, whatever he could.

“Your phone?” An outstretched hand kept Marcus from walking into the dresser as he moved toward it while keeping his eye on Aleks. “Did you... ?”

 _Throw it_ , was the rest of that sentence, and Aleks started nodding before he’d even finished it. Marcus stared at him for a moment longer before looking down at the dresser top. He suddenly leaned closer to inspect the mirror. Hopefully he wasn’t looking at a crack.

After a long delay, Marcus picked up Aleks’ phone. Broken. Absolutely broken, he knew it even before Marcus said anything. What he did say came as a surprise, though. Marcus even sounded surprised as he said it. “I might be able to fix this.” He fiddled with the phone some, his back to Aleks. “Yeah, I think I can fix this.”

Aleks eased off the headboard. Without meaning to he’d gone flat up against it. He crawled to the end of the bed to get a better look at his phone even before Marcus turned around to show him it.

“Oh!” Marcus startled back a step. “Oh, sorry, you -- Um. Well, your phone’s okay -- see?” He held out a bright rectangular mess of broken glass. “I don’t think the internal components are damaged. Just the screen broke, but I can replace that, it’s not hard. I’ve done it before.”

Aleks rose up to his knees for a better look. Either his eager lean or the fact he swayed prompted Marcus to get closer, right up against the edge of the bed. That was fine, Aleks draped his arm around Marcus to help keep his balance. When Aleks checked, he found Marcus making that tentative-worried smile he liked a lot better than angry-confused and certainly a lot better than confused-disappointed.

When they’d kissed, what had it tasted like? Aleks couldn’t recall. Rum, maybe -- spiced and heavy with a settling heat, that seemed to match his jumbled memories of that night. He knew he was staring again, Marcus looked plenty nervous for Aleks to know he was staring.

“So, yeah.” Marcus’ gaze slid to the side. He seemed a bit red in the face. “Um. Yeah. I can fix your phone. No big deal.”

Aleks kind of liked seeing Marcus look so flustered. Even though he knew he was staring, and even though he knew the stare was making Marcus nervous -- he kept at it. Maybe Marcus looked so nervous because he knew Aleks was about to kiss him. If he was drunk enough to be sobbing and throwing his phone, surely Aleks had gotten himself well into blackout drunk territory. Except, Marcus lifted his head back when Aleks tried swaying close for a kiss. Brow twisted beneath the cut of the eye patch, mouth bracketed with a frown -- confused-frustrated, maybe, or wary-confused-mad. 

Aleks sunk down to sit on his heels. He glared down at the comforter and watched the pattern slowly blur into teary-eyed softness. Stupid phone, stupid drunk texting, he shouldn’t have said that about Sacha. Third strike. No way he’d get another shot after this royal fuck up.

“Oh. Oh, no, Aleks -- don’t cry.” Marcus eased onto the edge of the bed. “Don’t cry. I can fix your phone. I’ll order a screen for it tonight. Or, there’s a kiosk at the mall, I think, they’ll overcharge but that’s okay. I can go tomorrow, before you get up. It’s not a big deal, really. Don’t worry about your phone. Okay?”

Aleks shook his head with a hard sob. He averaged a new phone twice a year anyway with all the abuse his life inflicted. Last replacement happened after Sacha shoved him into a pool. He was long overdue for breaking his stupid phone.

“Okay. Okay, well… I don’t mind about the mirror. It’s barely noticeable. I’m not mad about it or, even upset about it. I’m not mad about anything. I’m not mad at you. It’s okay. Please don’t cry.” Marcus was starting to sound increasingly desperate. “Really, I’m not mad. I don’t care about the mirror. I don’t even like it. You’d have done me a favor if you broke it. I still get freaked out seeing my own reflection sometimes. There’s usually towel over the damn thing, I just took it off before you got here.”

Aleks sniveled and scrubbed his face clear enough to get a good look at Marcus’ expression. Desperate, he’d been right about that, but relief was starting to take over as Aleks’ sobs faded.

The smile Marcus gave him seemed too fragile for Aleks to accept. What did Marcus mean about a towel over the mirror? Aleks puzzled over it with drunken fascination.

Marcus seemed to take Aleks’ bewilderment as encouragement, though, because his smile strengthened. “I’m really not upset about anything. Promise. Worried, definitely. Extremely confused, I’ll admit I am ridiculously confused again, but I already told you that I like being confused by IRL you."

Aleks’ breath had hitched midway between another sob and trying to laugh. His smile afterward got him a wide, warm grin from Marcus. When Aleks scrubbed a sleeve over his face, Marcus jumped up from the bed.

“Oh, here --” He left and returned almost immediately. A handful of tissues formed the first part of his peace offering, the entire square box made up the other. “Have some cheese.”

Aleks shook his head some, enough to bring his bangs down like a curtain. He turned his head to the side as he hastily blew his nose and sniffled, both sounds as quiet as his smile. He fussed incessantly at a fresh tissue, still sniffling but no longer in need of anything to sop up moisture.

The bed sagged with Marcus’ weight. Aleks shifted onto his side so their shoulders brushed. He leaned into Marcus a little. After a short delay, Marcus closed up more of the gap. Another hesitation and his arm lifted. Aleks nestled under it before Marcus could carefully try getting it around him. He squeezed his arms tight around Marcus. Since he wasn’t sure how else to say sorry, Aleks pushed in close. His seeking lips smushed into the corner of Marcus' mouth.  

“Oh!” So softly-startled that Aleks started to jerk back, but Marcus caught him with gentle insistence and a quick, “Wait, sorry." Followed immediately by a toe-curling deep kiss where Aleks’ hands flailed helplessly behind Marcus’ back, just as wispy non-existent as the poor unfinished Prince.

His hair, that’s where Aleks could hide them. Fuck drawing all those delicate slim fingers when he could get them tangled into dark velvet gloss. That’s how he could finish the drawing. Too bad he’d hit the blackout part and wouldn't remember it.


	20. Chapter 20

The lack of fur in his face provided the first clue. A bright stream of sunshine behind his closed eyes offered the second. He tried to remember going to bed and couldn’t, his memories of the night before mostly ended once they hit into mopey bawling. Aleks rolled his head into a pillow that wasn’t his with a soft, near-silent groan.

Suddenly Aleks pushed to his elbows. His head turned to take in the empty, unrumpled section of king-size bed beside him. He glanced to the alarm clock on Marcus’ nightstand and then stared once he saw it was barely past eight. No wonder Marcus never slept in, he’d put the bed directly in the path of the window and then hadn’t bothered with curtains. Accordion blinds filled the window and let in far too much natural light.

Bleary-eyed but not excruciatingly hung over, Aleks sat upright to look around everywhere even though it was immediately obvious Marcus wasn’t anywhere in sight. Aleks wore yesterday's shirt and boxers, and he spotted his pants and sweater folded into a tidy bundle on the dresser next to a glass of water. His socks lay on the floor next to his sneakers, which were tucked beside his backpack. Marcus must have set everything neat and orderly for him to discover like this. Definitely not a repeat of Christmas, when he’d woken up to find their clothes strewn everywhere and Marcus sprawled naked in the bed with him.

Slowly Aleks slipped his feet from beneath the warm fluff of the covers. He kept a cautious watch on the closed door as he snagged his backpack closer. A bit of searching left him empty-handed and confused, but when Aleks wandered into the bathroom he found his toothbrush sitting next to the sink. The ziploc containing rest of his toiletries rested in the corner of the counter, just on the other side of an electric toothbrush stand. The cottony-fuzz feeling in his mouth did seem a bit like he’d brushed his teeth before passing out. Small victories.

Watching the back-and-forth scrub of mint foam over his teeth in the mirror popped a puzzle piece into Aleks’ head. He wandered out of the bathroom and started a slow search for his phone. He found the quarter-sized puncture of shattered mirror buried in the edge of the wooden frame and winced to see the hairline crack that ran from that point all the way to the top edge. Then again, his blackout-drunk puzzle piece involved Marcus hating the mirror.

Aleks flapped out his jeans and tried to ignore the weight and jostle of his car keys in the front pocket. He shucked the jeans on over fresh underwear and then slipped into a new shirt as well. Unlike his perpetually just-too-warm or just-too-cool apartment, Marcus’ home allowed for him to skip the sweater.

Brushed, washed, dressed, and room examined thoroughly, Aleks sat cross-legged on the bed with his laptop and the glass of water. He checked his email and blog but didn’t bother with more than confirming Marcus hadn’t sent him anything. A yawn prompted him to look at the closed bedroom door. He almost felt like he could crash right back down for more sleep, but instead Aleks set his laptop aside.

A long hesitation passed before Aleks slipped from the bed again. He set the empty glass on the dresser and stood there watching the door. Finally he tiptoed barefoot to the door and pressed close. Nothing, no drifting small sounds to help him understand. Slow, incremental rotation eased the knob over, and then Aleks carefully pulled the door open a crack. He couldn’t see much, just the wall opposite, a little of the hall, a little of the office door.

Knots tangled inside him as Aleks edged the door open further. He peeked his head out. Impossible to judge at this distance if Marcus’ flip flops or sneakers were missing from the pile in the entry. Aleks glanced to the closed office door.

The skittering motion his fingers made on the painted wood hardly counted as a knock. Aleks tapped again before trying the knob. A quick peek inside confirmed the office was empty. He quietly eased the door closed.

If the roommate’s bedroom door had been open, Aleks might not have been able to get past it. Fortunately he found it closed, and the hall bathroom empty, which only left the front two rooms for him to check. Heart pounding, Aleks inched along the hallway wall as the living room came slowly into view.

Marcus took up the entirety of the sofa and then some. It didn’t look comfortable for someone as tall and broad-shouldered as him. His sock-clad toes stuck out from the edge of the blanket, and he was half-hugged, mostly-hunched around his pillow and the arm of the sofa both. Marcus usually sat so carefully everywhere, he moved like a bull in a china shop even when simply pushing a grocery cart. Asleep he seemed unaware of his size.

A half-drunk glass of water, both their phones, and the eye patch cluttered the otherwise tidy coffee table. Aleks’ frozen shock melted into curiosity as he crept up on the back of the sofa. He turned his head to the hall and then glanced down at Marcus’ disorderly sleeping sprawl. Inky black tresses bunched between his head and the pillow, they draped into the socketed scar always hidden by black fabric.

Aleks’ fingers curled into the back of the sofa as he leaned for a better look. A prickling over his neck warned Aleks he was about to get caught staring. He jerked his head up at the sound of grooved metal teeth sliding into the lock. His breath caught around choked indecision. Keen awareness of the carpet fibers beneath his toes filled him as he tensed to flee.

The door opened to reveal the roommate, tousle-headed and bleary-eyed, bundled haphazardly into his coat, rumpled in the tell-tale way of someone coming home after being out all night. His acknowledgement of the situation involved a raspy-voiced, “Hey,” and a flapping hand before he shuffled straight into the kitchen and out of sight.

From the sofa came a deeper sleep-rough, “Hey.”

Aleks flicked his gaze down in time to watch Marcus groggily lift his head. As Marcus’ head turned toward the door, though, Aleks realized he hadn’t been spotted yet.

From the kitchen the roommate called out in a slurred hungover way, “Owe me twenty bucks.”

“What?” Marcus sounded only marginally better. His head turned to the kitchen. The movement finally put Aleks into his field of vision. The sudden, “Oh!” Aleks expected. He’d yet again startled Marcus without meaning to.

A chagrined smile and hand wave formed his apology. Marcus smiled -- and then suddenly stopped. Aleks did as well, their expressions mirroring each other in swift progression. Aleks looked down at where his fingers curled against the grey suede of the sofa. Heat burned his cheeks and ears, it crawled down his neck. He gripped the sofa a little tighter.

He heard fabric shifting, a leaned over reaching kind of motion in his peripheral vision. Aleks glanced up through his bangs. Marcus fumbled the eye patch into place, looking equally heated -- not in a fun-flustered way that he seemed to remember. His puzzle piece earlier with the broken mirror fit into place, and Aleks started moving.

“Shopping.” It had the stretching sound of a yawn. The roommate’s next response got lost in the coffee maker.

Marcus turned warily to keep track of Aleks as he rounded the sofa. “Hi, Aleks. You’re up early! Or -- what time is it?”

Aleks sat right next to him on the sofa, almost on top of him. A ridiculously awkward series of adjustments followed in which Marcus made room for him and Aleks persisted in getting close. Aleks stopped abruptly and turned his head in time to see the roommate appear in the open division between entry and dining room.

“Eight. Nine.” The roommate shrugged out of his coat and slung it at one of the chairs. He wasn’t wearing a shirt underneath, just creamy-pale skin like too many airbrush layers. A studded belt secured tight-fitting dark jeans at his hips. “More nine than eight hopefully.”

Staggering half-awareness got the roommate turned around. “I got up at three. What am I doing. How many hours is that. Eighteen?” Only the last was an actual question.

Aleks felt his head go up and down. Since he was turned around blatantly staring, it only felt fair to answer.

The roommate failed to notice as he meandered deeper into the kitchen. Aleks heard a cabinet bang open, ceramic clink together -- the sound of a mug being put back with its buddies. Already the faint aroma of coffee mingled with the bright motes of sunlight from the windows filling the wall behind the dining room table.

“Aleks, did you sleep okay? How do you feel?” Both questions nervous and warm to match the smile Aleks found when he whipped around from staring at the kitchen. The quickness of the gesture tipped Marcus’ smile closer to nervous.

Puffy white tissues in lieu of cheese formed another puzzle piece, and Aleks put a slower glance toward the kitchen. Footsteps approaching, the roommate’s suffering sleepy shuffle.

“All right, I’m out,” he said. His shoulder ran along the hallway wall in a sideways lean. “See you tonight.”

Marcus’ head turned some, but his eye stayed on Aleks. “What time are you getting up?”

“What’s today. Saturday? Sure.” He bounced to the other wall to reach his bedroom door. “Two, three. Coffee’s in the kitchen.”

“Thanks,” Marcus said. At last he looked away from Aleks to call after his roommate with bossy-affection, “Set your alarm, though. I might go out.”

A grunted effort at humming dismissal formed the roommate’s reply. The door closed on whatever else he might want to say.

Aleks slid forward and set his hand on Marcus’ knee to get his attention. He waited until he had it before offering a small smile. He waited until Marcus returned it before sliding even closer, his leg going over Marcus’ amid tangle of blankets. He got an arm around him as well.

“Oh,” said Marcus. Soft and surprised, with a long delay before Aleks felt the squeezed affection get returned. As the hug gained strength, so did Marcus’ voice. “Hey… Good morning. Aidan made coffee, if you want some? Honestly I’m surprised to see you up this early. Did you sleep okay?”

Aleks peeked up at Marcus’ smile and then impulsively decided to go for it. A hasty kiss on the cheek formed his answer, it even made a distinct sound, a sweetly-soft snap of flesh on flesh contact. He jerked back in time to catch Marcus looking surprised again.

“Heh." 

It wasn’t much of a laugh. Mostly amused air leaving him. Aleks remembered another puzzle piece, a faded one from Christmas, how Marcus’ one eye seemed wide enough to make up for the hidden one, or perhaps Aleks wanted to remember how he’d looked asleep on the sofa with the other eye showing for once. 

Aleks glanced down the hallway to where he could see the flattened profile of the closed door. His head leaned with the gesture.

“Everything okay?”

Even before he looked to Marcus, Aleks was nodding. He rose from Marcus’ lap and, without thinking, patted him on the head. As if he were Tatiana.

Slowly, Aleks closed his eyes and took in a breath to avoid just bolting right out of the room. He could feel the carpet under his toes again. Keen awareness of every inch of his body filled him, and he wanted all of it out of that immediate situation. His eyes opened, and he found Marcus smiling up at him with pretty obvious confusion.

Aleks jerked his hand behind his back. He shrugged, looked down at his feet, ran for the kitchen. He nearly got tripped up in the roommate’s shoes, slung near to the door as he could manage in a half-dead daze. He caught himself on one of the dining room chairs and straightened.

“Aleks?”

He held up a hand. The sideways glance would have worked on Sacha to say he was fine. Unfortunately it brought Marcus up from the sofa in concern. Aleks flashed him a quick smile and pointed at the kitchen cabinets. He needed to turn head some to see the coffee maker, and he shifted his pointing once he spotted it. 

Belatedly Marcus snatched up the sheet to half-hide the fact he wasn’t wearing pants, meanwhile Aleks was fully dressed. Aleks desperately wanted to comment on the flip in their Earth-to-Mars schedules, that he’d woken up before Marcus. Caught him sleeping again, just like at Christmas.

He could feel the smile on his face as tight cheeks again, only this time he wasn’t staring at the screen of his phone. Aleks looked aside for the coffee maker and then let go of the chair.

“Oh, right. The coffee," said Marcus. 

Aleks opened the wrong cabinet at first and found an impossible amount of things to cook with. No less than four measuring cups stacked together. Deep square dishes, stuff even higher up beyond his reach. Certainly not coffee mugs, even though this was right above the coffee.

His ransacking search found the cabinet just as Marcus caught up with him. He’d abandoned the sheet idea to brave just his boxers and a soft white shirt that brushed Aleks’ shoulder as he reached above him.

Aleks nudged him with his shoulder to say thanks as he took the mug. He went over to the coffee maker and poured someone’s souvenir mug from Ireland full of hot, fresh delicious caffeine. As he pulled open the fridge to look for milk or cream, Aleks heard the knock of Marcus’ hip into the counter.

A sneaking look through his bangs revealed Marcus watching him with a thoughtful expression. Not quite worried, not quite awful. Warmth seeped into his fingers as Aleks curled them around the coffee mug. He lifted it and blew gently over the surface to watch the splashed-in milk swirl beige through the dark liquid depths. He watched Marcus in return over the lip of his mug, and then finally Aleks gestured a little.

“Hm?” Marcus straightened from the counter.

Once more Aleks stirred the air over his coffee. Shame burned his cheeks and ears at the helpless lack of understanding evident in the way Marcus’ smile took on a desperate edge.

“A spoon?” Marcus turned to pull open the drawer he’d been leaned against. “I have spoons, here.”

Aleks set his coffee on the counter as he slipped up next to Marcus. He plucked the spoon from Marcus’ grasp and set it beside the mug as well. Even with both hands, Aleks could barely capture one of Marcus’ hands, but he tried again. He pulled him from the kitchen.

“Oh? Okay, um --” Marcus went along willingly even though Aleks highly doubted he’d be successful in actually dragging him anywhere.

Aleks let him go once in range of the coffee table. Remembering the shattered state of his own phone, Aleks snagged Marcus’ and held it up. He wiggled it some in the air to ask his question.

“Oh. Sure,” said Marcus.

Blatantly not understanding the question, so that Aleks had to struggle against rolling his eyes. He stared at Marcus’ phone for a long moment before snapping the screen up to reveal the keyboard. How old was this phone? He glanced up incredulously before fumbling his way through the clunky navigation to get into Marcus’ messages. Unreal that Marcus would hand over his entire phone like this, but Aleks only dug into his own thread, reassuringly right at the top.

He frowned at the arrangement of nubbed letters for a moment before working his thumbs in a slow, poking effort at getting, _sorry_ , typed out. Once done he brought the phone over to Marcus and handed it over unsent.

Marcus smiled first before looking down to see the message. “Oh. About last night?”

Worried Marcus might forget to look, Aleks put a hand on his arm to get his attention. A million apologies would have poured out of him, with one of his own keyboards under his fingers, but for now Aleks just nodded. He kept nodding under he was certain Marcus saw the gesture. Nods were absolutely universal. They had to be.

A wide smile broke over Marcus’ face. “Oh. Well, don’t be. I don’t think you have anything to be sorry about. Um, do… you remember last night?”

Aleks started to put his head to the side for the first part of a slow back and forth denial. He remembered his toothbrush next to the sink that morning, his pants folded on the dresser. It was hard to put the puzzles pieces he did remember in order, but the shredded tissues seemed to be one of the last.

Bitter sting flared from where Aleks pulled his lower lip into his teeth. He pulled his shoulders up instead. A shrug suited. He sort of remembered, but it didn’t explain this awkward as fuck morning. Would Christmas have been this awful, had he stuck around?

“Oh. Well… Your phone’s broke, but, I thought I’d go to the mall once it was open to get it fixed for you. If you wanted. I mean, I just assumed.”

Aleks nodded. He leaned into Marcus to get his hands around the phone. He pulled it close to get comfortable best he could over the blocky keys.

_thanks <3 _

He glanced up at Marcus with a quick smile and then kept typing.

_thats sweet of you. i remember throwing my phone :c haha spazz mopey drunk me is a handful sorry! <3 i can go to the mall with you? _

Aleks frowned at the message for a moment. Out of curiosity he hit send before handing the phone over to Marcus. To his delight, the bright mess of broken glass on the coffee table actually buzzed. His poor dead phone wasn’t so dead after all. Aleks left Marcus for a moment to go look at his own phone.

Gingerly Aleks pressed at the broken web of glass. If he strained, it seemed almost possible to tell what was displayed on the screen beneath. He slid his finger along the screen to see if he could swipe into anything further.

The disappointing results turned punitive as pain nipped his finger. Aleks frowned at the stubborn crystal of broken glass that decided to hitch a ride on his skin. He lifted it closer, intrigued by the whisper-thin edges of the fierce little shard.

“Oh, did it cut you?” Marcus asked.

Aleks shook his head as he turned, his fingers flicking down to his side. A flurry of silent rushed snapping loosened the shard and eased out the sting at the same time. He tossed the phone into the sofa cushions -- because what more harm could it do -- and then gestured to the phone in Marcus’ hand.

“Oh? Sure, the mall. Yeah, um, I’m not sure when it opens actually. Do you want to look that up, and -- maybe I can get started on breakfast?”

Aleks meant the shrug to be agreeable, but Marcus seemed discouraged for a moment instead. His shoulders lowered some, just a soft kind of slouch, but Aleks hastily smiled and switched into a nod instead.

Suddenly he felt grateful for a reason to flee down the hallway to the bedroom, even if only for the few minutes it’d be realistic for him to fetch his laptop. Aleks remembered in time not to slam the door, but as he pressed it shut with his shoulders he knew everything about this had to be weird and awkward for Marcus, too.

All those smiles were definitely looking increasingly desperate. The cold clink of metal around his fingers brought Aleks’ attention to the fact he was clutching his car keys. Aching effort got his hand unclenched, his bare feet into motion to fetch his laptop. Before leaving the bedroom he decided to stuff his car keys into the top drawer of the dresser.

Only as he wedged open the heavy wood drawer did Aleks think of the privacy violation this might entail. Thank God he only found neatly matched and folded shirts snugged into sharing space with equally tidy tank tops. Aleks dropped his keys on top and then pushed the drawer closed. That accomplished, he snagged his laptop and sketchbook both before returning to the kitchen.

 


	21. Chapter 21

From across the room came the quick, soft sound of fingers clattering over the keys. Marcus looked over to see Aleks perched in one of the dining room chairs with his laptop popped open. The rapid clicking stopped, Aleks staring directly at him now that Marcus was looking. Hastily he pulled his eye back to the stove. The typing sound resumed at the same quiet, furious pace.

Marcus gripped the handle on the skillet to make sure he pushed the wooden spoon squarely into the yellow pool of rapidly scrambling eggs. The phone on the counter beside him beeped, and Marcus set the wooden spoon aside. He couldn’t resist looking across the kitchen to check on Aleks -- a mutual feeling, apparently, since Aleks watched him in return.

He seemed a bit like a cat ready to pounce, perhaps, or maybe the about-to-be-pounced on mouse ready to flee. Marcus didn’t know what to expect from Aleks in that moment, nor what might await him on his phone screen once he checked.

 

 

subject: Earth to Earth??                                                                                         
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
  
Hi Marcus! Greetings from across the kitchen. I won’t be able to write this email if you keep looking over at me, you know. … Okay, good! Thanks <3 Do you have sugar for my coffee pretty pleeeease? Also good morning hello I slept solidly (I think??)  <3 <3 <3

 

 

Even conscious of Aleks watching for his reaction, Marcus laughed without really meaning to. It seemed like a too-loud rumble for such an otherwise silent moment.

He looked to the eggs and then hastily set aside his phone. “Right. Sugar. Um, hold on.” His eye was on the spoon in the pan shoving opaque cooked egg into the liquid when Aleks appeared suddenly at his shoulder.

Marcus swallowed the urge to jolt or maybe whack Aleks in the face with the spoon. He had no idea how silent one person could possibly be, until meeting Aleks. He managed to sneak up unseen and unheard no matter which side he chose for approach. Marcus didn't think even a third eye would help him keep track of Aleks.

Aleks flashed an apologetic smile, impossibly cute with pink across his cheeks and half his bangs in his face to peek around. His fingers whirled around the top of his coffee again, in a gesture that apparently meant he wanted sugar. He followed it up with a flick of his hand around at the kitchen. No idea what that meant, but it seemed like a question.

Marcus tilted his head toward the opposite side of the kitchen. “The sugar is up with the spices. The cabinet to the left of the sink? It’s in a glass canister.”

Aleks spun in place, and the cabinet easing open on its hinges proved only marginally louder than the soft clink of the spoon mixing the sugar around inside the mug later. He returned to his seat at the table in the same perched position with his feet up on the edge of the chair. Marcus recalled the complete lack of table or even a single chair besides a beanbag, if that counted, in the cozy nothing that comprised Aleks’ one-room apartment. Aleks sat the same handful of ways regardless of the surface’s intent and more often chose the floor. Or a bed, apparently, when given the option.

The eggs reached the stage of needed stirred continuously, so Marcus gladly diverted his full attention at the skillet and spoon in his hands rather than get distracted thinking about last night. He heard Aleks clicking on the laptop trackpad and tapping only a few keys rather than a flurry of them. By the time Marcus finished the eggs and had toast almost ready, Aleks sat huddled around his sketchbook.

A wary, sharp gaze snapped over the top of Alek’s knees when Marcus came over to talk to him. Instead of getting near Aleks, he went last-minute for Aidan’s coat draped messily over a chair. He chose an interested, “What are you drawing?” and hoped for the best.

He got a shrug, not quite the worst reaction, considering Aleks tucked his head down and resumed sketching. Maybe he was finishing the Star Struck art he’d started last night. The toaster saved Marcus the necessity of trying to untangle last night right away. He transferred Aidan’s coat to the back of the sofa temporarily before going to get breakfast onto plates.

Aleks pulled the sketchbook close to his chest when Marcus tried to put the plate down on the table in front of him. The flinching quickness of the gesture worried him, but Marcus just smiled and went to get his own plate along with silverware.

“Did you find out what time the mall opens?” Marcus asked. He inspected one of the coffee mugs to make sure it really was clean. Sometimes Aidan unloaded dirty dishes without realizing it, obliviously trying to be helpful while zoned-out at the wrong hour of day.  

Only when Marcus turned around did he realize Aleks had been nodding for a while. Yet again he'd forgotten the necessity of looking to Aleks for a response rather than listening for one. And Marcus knew he kept doing it, too, by the increasingly exasperated way Aleks stopped nodding once he was sure Marcus saw him.

Marcus poured his coffee, splashed in some milk, and then went to sit at the table across from Aleks rather than next to him. That seemed safest, after yesterday. And last night.

Aleks alternated furious-quick pencil strokes in between bites of food. Whatever he was drawing, he went at it like racing a deadline. Maybe it was something for school, which explained the reluctance in letting Marcus see it. So far, Marcus hadn’t seen any of Aleks’ professional art.

“So,” he decided to say. The interest in Aleks’ sudden glance encouraged him to keep going. “Was there anything else you wanted to do at the mall? Besides get your phone fixed, I mean.”

A shrug, short and quick. Aleks’ eyes flicked down at his sketchbook before he settled into sitting cross-legged. He scooted the chair closer by grabbing the edge of the table, and then he plucked up his laptop. Now it was frantic typing in between bites of his breakfast and sips of coffee. The skid of Marcus’ chair against the linoleum brought Aleks’ eyes off the screen and stilled his fingers.

“Oh. No, keep going, I just need to get my phone.” He barely had the words out before Aleks resumed. By the time Marcus reached where his phone lay in front of the microwave, it beeped expectantly.

 

subject: Re: Earth to Earth??                                                                                         
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Mall opens at 10am so idk what else is there to do (I mean besides the obvious??) but I’ll look, keep eating. Also thank you for cooking! Thank you for the water! Sorry I smashed your shit! Ahahaha I’m ridiculously nervous but I hid my keys … maybe you should lock the door -- or tackle me if I bolt? idk. but sorry again for spazzing. I’m okay now <3 <3 I’m glad you talked me into staying.

 

 

  
Aleks’ emails were a lot easier to read alone at his desk, rather than at the dining room table with Aleks himself staring right at him. Conscious of the undoubtedly goofy grin on his face, Marcus looked across breakfast at the living embodiment of such passionately cute and exuberant writing; someone impossibly silent, one of the shiest, most withdrawn people he’d ever met, equally one of the cutest as well. Head to toe cute as Marcus knew too well.

“Um.” Marcus realized he’d forgotten to say anything back, and that Aleks seemed to be waiting on him. It was hard to tell since his eyes were locked on the computer screen.

“Don’t worry about last night.” Marcus bit into his toast. Chewing bought him time to think more about what to say back. Aleks crammed in so many things all at once. It was easier to keep up with him when Marcus could take his time composing a response.

“I’m glad you decided to stay. And, sorry … If I make you nervous. Or, I guess I do make you nervous.” Marcus clenched his jaw in sudden regret. Something like that would have gotten backspaced out of existence immediately. “Not that I mind -- I mean, that’s fine if you are, or, no, sorry. I guess it's not.”

Across the table, Aleks’ head shook back and forth. The long brushing sweep of his bangs teased at showing more of his bright-eyed smile that was already half-hidden behind the laptop and edge of Aidan’s favorite mug. Once he saw he had Marcus’ attention, Aleks shook his head again as if that meant something.

That eager-shy smile strained Marcus to the point that he stabbed too hard at the last bite of egg. The tines of his fork skittered off the plate some. Aleks seemed to jump at the sound, and Marcus realized he’d started to frown without realizing it. Hastily he broke into a smile as well.  

Marcus couldn’t decide if he was relieved or terrified by the sudden assault of Aleks’ slim fingers across the keyboard. Abruptly his thoughts turned to Aleks’ slim fingers snarling into his hair last night. Did Aleks remember any of it? He wasn’t sure what might happen if he asked.

Marcus picked up his phone to wait for the new email while drinking his coffee. What he wouldn’t give for his other eye still, so he could watch Aleks even as he watched the screen in his hand.

 

 

subject: Re: Earth to Earth??                                                                                         
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com> 

Teehee <3 Do I make you nervous?

 

 

Marcus looked up to find Aleks watching with a shy smile firmly in place, even when Marcus forgot to say anything and just stared. “Yeah,” he said at last. The next, “Yeah,” broke on a chuckle. “I am nervous. I think it’s safe to say you’ve caught me off guard. With my pants down, literally.”

From across the table came a hushed, “Heh.”

Marcus was sure he heard it this time. He thought he had earlier, right after Aleks kissed him on the cheek. He looked down at his empty plate, rose up from his chair part way and then quickly sat again. His ankles hooked around the chair to scoot his lap under the table. Marcus hoped desperately that he wasn’t blushing, even though his face felt hot like he might be.

Across from him, there wasn’t much shy in the eager grin on Aleks’ lifted face. He kept looking up even as he typed and only looked away to hit send, judging by the single click of the track pad and subsequent beep from Marcus' phone.

 

 

subject: Re: Earth to Earth??                                                                                         
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

If you’re done eating do you want to go chat in the office? :D

 

 

“Sure.” Marcus grabbed readily at a means to get Aleks out of the kitchen for a minute. “Sure. If you want to head that way, I’ll get this cleaned up. And maybe dressed, if we’re going to the mall.”

Aleks shrugged before scrambling out of his chair. He picked up his laptop along with the last bite of his toast, which turned out to be a bit much at once. Aleks’ cheeks puffed under duress until he quickly chewed respite for them.

Marcus watched him leave and then braced his head in his hands for a long moment. He pictured electrical schematics until his boxers no longer revealed exactly how impossibly cute Aleks proved to be -- even when it utterly perplexed him that Marcus really was meeting the same person he chatted with online night after night. Even actively watching Aleks type his messages didn’t make them seem real.

Cleaning up in the kitchen consisted of dumping the dishes into the sink to be dealt with later. Marcus pulled his pillow and the blanket off the sofa along with Aidan’s coat. The entire bundle came with him into the bedroom, although Aidan’s coat ended up finding another temporary home across the bed.

Signs of Aleks getting up that morning lingered as spots of clutter that Marcus felt a certain fondness for seeing. The empty glass sat on the dresser, rather than making the trip into the kitchen, and Aleks’ dirty laundry sat crumpled beside the upturned contents of his backpack. The bed sheets on half the bed were tossed back in a tumbled mess that Marcus flicked somewhat straight as he returned his pillow.

Normally he checked the weather at his computer in the morning. Marcus took a guess that it’d be roughly the same temperature, and hopefully this wouldn’t be a day where he ended up wrong by twenty or thirty degrees. He washed his face at the sink with the light off, brushed his teeth while picking out a sweater, and ran out of things to do rather quickly.

No small amount of trepidation saw him at the office door calling, “Aleks?” as a warning before he looked inside. He found Aleks wedged into the corner, knees up and head down, furious pencil-scratching pausing at Marcus’ interruption.

The terrified upward flick of Aleks’ gaze stopped him in the doorway. Soon as Marcus froze in place, though, Aleks’ eyes seemed to widen slightly. A sheepish smile broke over his face, and Aleks hastily flipped the sketchbook closed. His laptop sat open beside him on the floor, and Aleks pointed to it before settling cross-legged. He dragged the computer across his spread-open lap and then looked up with another smile, this one less sheepish and more inviting.

Considering the rapid-fire pace, Aleks typed rather quietly. He did everything so quietly that shouldn’t come as a surprise, but yet Marcus still found it remarkable. When he sat at the desk and typed in even just the password to his email account, those few keystrokes seemed obnoxiously loud in comparison.

 

subject: Re: Earth to Earth??                                                                                         
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

This email is a trap, watch out!

 

Deimos: CAUGHT YOU! :D  
teehee  
hhiiiii  
<3 <3 <3  
….?  
_Sent at 9:42 AM on Saturday_

 

Despite the cute, energetic messages appearing in fast succession, Aleks himself looked entirely emotionless, almost bored. Until he glanced up to find Marcus watching, and the typing stopped. Then he looked terrified, same as he had yesterday hiding in the office. Marcus felt terrified as well, that Aleks might burst into another panic attack where he turned white-face and shaking, small chest working in a breathless bellows and his face scrunched up to hide behind closed eyes and obscuring bangs.

Hard, thumping nervousness extended from Marcus’ chest. It forced a smile onto his face, because sometimes that would get Aleks to start smiling back. “I’m not sure if I should say my responses or type them,” Marcus admitted.

A fast skittering of typing accompanied a shrug. Aleks’ solemn, nearly blank-faced wariness didn’t waver. Marcus needed to look away to see what appeared in the chat box.

 

Deimos: its whatever I guess?  
sorry I know this is super weird :c

 

 

Marcus swallowed and wondered if ducking his head to where he couldn’t see Aleks meant that Aleks couldn’t see him, either. Somehow he doubted that. He’d never sat in that corner, though, so really Marcus had no way of knowing. He looked at the small arrangement of punctuation and letters. It seemed such a meager understatement of something Aleks clearly found upsetting.

Carefully, Marcus composed his reply.

 

 

Praxis: It’s OK :)  
I think I’ll type instead of talk

Deimos: me too  
(lolololol)  
omgsonervoushelp  
omg stop laughing

Praxis: !

 

 

They swapped a stare over the top of their screens again, Marcus’ soft, chuckling grin vanishing in favor of cold-seeping horror. Aleks’ fingers flew over the keys -- without looking, at either his hands or the screen. Marcus needed to look back and forth between the two as he typed sometimes. Aleks stopped and lifted a hand to point urgently at his screen. Marcus hastily lowered his head to look.

 

Deimos: didnt mean that!  
you can laugh!  
sorry my lols aren’t literal they are lies  
stop looking at meeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Praxis: OK!  
Okay. But, I like looking at you!

Deimos: :c bleh please just ignore me for a minute  
please  
_Sent at 9:56 AM on Saturday  
_ Deimos: IRL me I mean, lavish this me with all your attention

Praxis: OK that’s easy  
I can do that :)

Deimos: yaaaay <3  
okay  
GOOD MORNING!! Like I haven’t said that a million times

Praxis: Well, you rarely get to say it!  
So I think that’s fair

Deimos: yeah ok about that WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU  
where are your curtains?! the sun woke me up!  
I awoke with the sun like some kind of Earthling!

Praxis: I’m usually up before the sun so it doesn’t bother me?  
I didn’t think about that, sorry. Maybe I’ll get curtains at the mall

Deimos: omg stop I’m just teasing you its fine dont buy curtains bc of me  
oh hey there’s a theater at the mall, did you want to see a movie?

Praxis: Oh, maybe. Anything good playing?

 Deimos: idk define good

 Praxis: Haha. I’m looking up what’s showing

 Deimos: me too  
horror movie at 11:20 (weird time for it but ok) we could see

Praxis: Oh that might be fun

Deimos: spooooooky fun! yeah ok <3 yay  
thanks for taking me to get my phone fixed <3 sorry again for spazzing yesterday

Praxis: You’re fine! Sorry to make you spazz?

Deimos: pfffft  
please, trying to pay my electric bill makes me spazz sometimes. trying to interact with my amazing perfect please dont hate me boyfriend is only like number seven on the list of top ten spazz-worthy disasters

Praxis: I’m not number one? :C

 

It was hard to say for certain over the comparably loud sounds of both his computer fan and his typing, but Marcus thought he heard a sudden airless giggle from the corner.

 

Deimos: nope sorry not even close  
thats a good thing trust me!

Praxis: I bet :)  
But, it’s okay. I’m not upset. Are you?

Deimos: asdfghjkl;  
should I be? no?! idk!  
idddkkkkkk I’m sorry millions of times sorry idk what I was doing yesterday, that was so much spazzing!! we didn’t end up going to the club did we? I have like no memory of that if we did  
I remember drawing Pel/Pri and boozing it with you and then uuggghhhhhhhh so much mopey drunk crying I am so sorry  
but I’m fine now <3  
_Sent at 10:17 AM on Saturday_

 

 

Marcus swallowed. He resisted the urge to peek over the edge of his monitor at where Aleks was sitting. He looked at the keys instead, thinking over his response. It didn’t help that he heard Aleks stir and shift the longer he sat there knowing Marcus wasn’t typing anything.

He decided to lead with, _Okay_ , and was working on an accompanying smiley-face when Aleks’ actual face suddenly appeared to the right of his monitor. Not smiling -- he looked incredibly anxious, and it didn’t help that Marcus knew he was glaring at his keyboard. At least until getting startled made him stop, Marcus knew he looked ready to fight the keys to make the right words appear.

“Jesus!” Marcus yelped. He jerked back from his computer so fast that the leather desk chair spun his knee into the side of his desk. His muffled cursing protest about that fact sent Aleks scurrying into the corner. He danced over his laptop to avoid kicking it and then knelt down to snatch it. His head turned for door, and then all of him started to move for the door.

“Wait! Wait, it’s okay! I was just thinking! I - I’m sorry, I’m not mad --” It took him forever to get untangled from his chair and around the left side of the desk to stop Aleks. “I do that, when I’m thinking -- I get teased for it, at work, Aidan teases me for it, too, if he was awake he’d tell you --”

Too late, Marcus realized he’d just cut off Aleks’ only means of escaping the room. The back-and-forth rapid flicking of Aleks’ wide-eyed, sharp gaze from him to the door behind him was just like yesterday.  

Marcus flinched sideways for the desk. He almost banged his leg into corner as he hurried for the chair. He remembered Aleks wielding it at him like if the chair had been smaller he might have thrown it to make Marcus leave. Marcus put himself into it, pushed close to the computer.  

“I’ll respond,” he said hastily. “I’m typing. I’ll -- okay.”

 

 

Praxis: Sorry! I look really angry when I’m thinking  
It’s a bad habit  
It doesn’t mean I’m mad at you though I promise

 

Aleks tucked the sketchbook under his arm and balanced the laptop with one hand. With the other hand he awkwardly flicked together a response. He glanced to Marcus entirely red in the face and then hurried into the corner. He disappeared beneath the edge of the monitor, flopping down to sit there on the floor. Unless Marcus lifted his head and gave the game away, he couldn’t see Aleks anymore. He looked to the flashing chat box.

 

 

Deimos: ok thx sorry  
_Sent at 10:31 AM on Saturday_  
Deimos: okay okay  
I’m here again, sorry  
planet Deimos is stabilizing sorry

Praxis: Also sorry I yelled, you just scared me!

Deimos: I KNOW  
I know I know I keep doing that omg I swear I don’t mean to

Praxis: I know, it’s okay!  
Really. Not mad. Resting anger face? :C Sorry

Deimos: <3  
Haha okay. Okay <3 Really? Do you just look mad like all the time?

Praxis: I think the eye patch makes it worse.

Deimos: asdfghjkl;  
haha I feel so dumb ok sorry yay <3 I was like, it’s over! He hates me!

Praxis: Aleks, I promise I don’t hate you  
Really

Deimos: <3 <3 I promise I don’t hate you either  
ugh can I take my laptop in the car? don’t take this the wrong way but idk if I like hanging out with you irl

 

 

Marcus stared at the blinking cursor and then slowly looked at where his fingers rested on the keys. He looked up to see _Deimos is typing…_ even as he heard the furious pattern of keystrokes from the corner.

 

 

Deimos: asdfgdhjkl;  
omg no no no no I didn’t mean that  
I love hanging out with you I’m sorry I just meant  
uugghhhh I meant I hate ME IRL hanging out with you like not YOU IRL hanging out with me  
iidddddkkkk I’m sorry

Praxis: Aw, it’s okay. Don’t be sorry.

Deimos: no no I really am sorry  
I need to be sorry, that was a shitty thing to say  
you never finished building that time machine did you? :c

Praxis: Sadly no :) But that’s okay  
I’m glad you’re here Aleks. I’m sorry things are weird. I’m trying to make them less weird?

Deimos: challenge accepted!!  
no wonder you look so mad :c sorry I make things weird and dumb  
_Sent at 10:43 AM on Saturday_

 

 

Marcus lifted his head to look at down-turned curve of Aleks’ face caught in the pale glow of the laptop screen. “Hey. Aleks? I don’t think you make things weird or dumb. I really like that you’re here.”

Aleks’ eyes flicked up. His blank expression was so hard to read, Marcus couldn’t tell at all what Aleks might be thinking, since his fingers were frozen over the keys.

“I know I’m kind of sucking at this,” Marcus said. “I keep asking you stuff when we’re not looking at each other, I completely messed everything up with Aidan. I can’t even type fast enough to tell you what happened last night, because I have no idea what you remember. I think I’d need all morning to get the email put together for you. I don’t think it’s going to be any easier to tell you, either. Not that it’s even anything bad, just...”

A small flurry of typing formed Aleks’ reply. Marcus lowered into his chair some to see the words.

 

 

 

Deimos: talking is hard  
(lol)  
_Sent at 10:42 AM on Saturday_

 

 

The loud burst of laughter brought Aleks up from the floor. Marcus worried for a moment it’d been the wrong kind of reaction, until he saw the bright, shy smile. Aleks balanced his laptop on one arm again and glanced between the screen and Marcus.

The laptop wobbled as he typed, and Aleks caught at it with a jolt. He walked over to the desk and flashed Marcus a quick smile before settling his laptop across the computer tower. Surface stable, his fingers flew nimbly over the keys as he stood where they could more easily see each other.  

 

 

Deimos: omg I would die if I broke my laptop not even funny  
okay well if nothing happened that you’re mad about then maybe you can just write me that email later? maybe tomorrow while I’m driving home?  
whatever happened I’m really sorry but thank you for taking care of me  
it was sweet of you to put me down for the night like that

Praxis: Sure :)  
Yes, nothing happened that I’m mad about. Promise. Your three hour drive home might be long enough for me to write that email

Deimos: haha  
omg stop looking at me

Praxis: I like looking at you!

Deimos: shameless flattery! my dumb face!

Praxis: You have a cute face :)

Deimos: omg shut up

Praxis: Nope ;)  
Looking right at it, definitely a cute face

Deimos: asdfghjkl;  
okay okay enough stop <3 teehee hi  
we should leave now if we’re gonna see the movie

Praxis: Okay :) Sure

Deimos: <3 <3 <3 ttyl then, once I have my phone back!

 


	22. Chapter 22

Standing in front of the cell phone repair kiosk with Aleks, Marcus realized his small kindness might be a bigger one than he first thought. While Aleks hung back as a silent shadow, Marcus handed over the broken phone, chatted with the technician about the details of the repair, and arranged for them to pick up the phone again after the movie. The same thing happened at the movie theater, when Marcus bought their tickets and Aleks hovered behind him.

By the time they found seats and settled in to watch the previews, Marcus found himself thoroughly distracted by thoughts of imagining a hundred small interactions of daily life turned silent. Aleks’ comment about paying his electric bill suddenly made sense. Nothing else did, in that moment, as Marcus thought about how he might have bought movie tickets without speaking. Point at the movie poster? Write it down on something? Did Aleks type on his phone and go around showing the screen to strangers? Somehow, Marcus doubted that.

Aleks’ elbow nudged into his side. Marcus glanced over and felt confused for a moment at the way Aleks was glaring at him, until Marcus realized he must have looked ready to murder the movie. His brow felt tight like he’d been scowling. He’d give himself a headache, if he kept it up.

He smiled to show Aleks he understood the joke, and Aleks’ mock-glare popped into a matched shy smile. When Marcus decided to go for the cliche arm-lift out of curiosity, Aleks wedged into his side. Unfortunately since they’d chosen a horror movie, their position had to reset several times as Marcus kept flinching at all the jump scares. It seemed to amuse Aleks, at least. He smiled through most the movie, which Marcus admittedly watched very little of.

When they returned to the repair kiosk to pick up Aleks’ phone, Marcus started to pay only to have Aleks elbow him out of the way. His gut instinct was to argue or insist -- Marcus didn’t want to make a thing out of it, but he knew Aleks lived on meager means. However, Marcus also wasn’t about to say anything when Aleks couldn’t say anything back. He did at least thank the technician, since Aleks immediately jerked his phone close under his face and started messing with it the second it landed alive and tap-able in his hands.

Aleks glanced up with a bright-eyed grin at Marcus and then looked down at his phone to tap out rapid-fire text. Soon a beep came from his pocket.

 

 _(Aleks)_  
_yayayayayayayayayay it lives!_

 

“Yeah, it does! Good as new?”

Aleks’ head bobbed in a nod. He glanced between the screen and Marcus for a moment and then wandered further from the kiosk. Marcus followed him, a bit amazed at how well Aleks could walk and text at the same time.

 

 _(Aleks)_  
_Are you going to sleep ok tonight after that movie? Haha you jumped so much!_

 

Marcus needed to stop walking in order to read what was on the screen. When he looked up, Aleks had stopped as well to wait. He looked oddly concerned.

“I startle easily,” Marcus said. “I wasn’t really scared.”

Aleks nodded. He looked at his phone and then thumbed the screen into blank silence to match the rest of him. Aleks slipped the device into his pocket and then shrugged, whatever that meant. Before Marcus could put too much thought into it, Aleks turned and started walking again.

Marcus caught up with him. He started to ask where in the mall Aleks might want to go -- any particular store, anything he might want to window-shop or purchase. But then Marcus realized he might only get a shrug, or a text that he’d need to stop walking just to read. Aleks meandered through the mall as if he knew where he was going, or perhaps that was just a natural consequence of the mall being set up in a loop.

“Are you hungry?” Marcus thought to ask, as they turned around in front of one of the anchoring department stores.

Aleks’ head turned from the study of a window display. He looked to Marcus and then shrugged.

“We could get something at the food court.”

Another shrug, although the quick up-and-down gesture seemed more agreeable than ambivalent. Since they’d stopped walking, Aleks whipped out his phone. On the touch screen, his typing was quieter than ever.

 

 _(Aleks)_  
_Yeah, I could eat! <3 Whatever’s fine, you pick something._

 

Marcus found Aleks’ small, half-hidden smile waiting for him when he looked up from his phone screen. “Sure. Well, food court is back this way? It’s near where we parked, actually.”

Another fast shrug formed Aleks’ response. He was making eye contact, though. Marcus took that as encouragement. He smiled and turned to lead the way back through the mall. After a minute or two he remembered to walk a little slower. His sisters forever complained about his long legs out-pacing them, and Aleks stood only a little taller than Bridget.

Aleks didn’t seem to have that same trouble, though, or if he did, he didn’t say anything about it. Or, text anything about it. As they walked, Marcus caught a half-second of his own reflection in the passing store window. No wonder Aleks kept looking terrified of him. He looked elsewhere, just in time to avoid clipping a baby stroller going the opposite way.

At the perpetually crowded food court, Marcus went the long way around to avoid pushing his way through too many people. His first suggestion of where to eat got a shrug, as did his second -- a slower shrug, Aleks’ thin shoulders coming together and then taking more time than strictly necessary to separate again. After that Marcus decided to join the nearest line rather than keep asking.  

As they stood there waiting, Marcus recognized the tiptoed bob-and-weave effort Aleks was putting into seeing through and around everyone in front of them. “Don’t worry about seeing the menu,” he said. “You pick out everything at the counter.”

Aleks stopped moving. The flinching, abrupt stillness didn’t seem like a good thing, either. He glanced up at Marcus, expression utterly inscrutable. He didn’t reach for his phone, and Marcus felt a nervous smile spread over his face almost by reflex. Hastily Marcus decided that the other side of the food court needed his attention until it was their turn.

Soon as Marcus stepped up to the counter with a cheerful, “Hi! A chicken burrito, please, with black beans and white rice,” he realized he was making a huge mistake.

The girl behind the counter spun his freshly-warmed tortilla to the side and then smiled at Aleks. He shuffled reluctantly closer. Without making direct eye contact, Aleks pointed slightly to her side of the glass.

Confusion crossed the girl’s forced, polite effort at pretending to care about her job. “Burrito?” she guessed.

Aleks nodded. Marcus stood there feeling trapped -- would it be rude or helpful of him to try ordering on Aleks’ behalf? He glanced at the remaining line of choices and suddenly wasn’t hungry at all. His stomach sat full of churning knotted regret.

“Um, what kind of meat do you want?” the girl asked Aleks.

Shoulders up, shoulders down formed Alek’s reply. He started to point, but Marcus already had a worker trying to ask him questions as well. The rest of the assembly line and the cash register waited further to his right, and Aleks was to his left -- his blind side. No way for him to be subtle about keeping an eye on Aleks, when he only had the one to use.

Marcus stepped further down the line and gave the rest of his order to the impatient worker in charge of wrapping everything together -- he knew it was absurd, but Marcus always felt a bit guilty for picking too many things. Once he’d reached the comparative safety of the equally-impatient cashier, Marcus turned to take in Aleks’ progress.

Looking down, shoulders tight, shaking his head - apparently, Aleks’ progress had gotten stuck somewhere at the halfway point. Marcus couldn’t imagine it helped to have frustration pouring from both those now stuck behind Aleks in line and the worker trying to get Aleks’ burrito put together. Aleks glanced over to find Marcus watching him. Marcus knew that probably didn’t help, either, and he wasn’t sure if his nervous smile came across as encouraging or if it just shouted how much Marcus had no idea what to do.

Aleks looked to his half-assembled lunch and then purposefully took a large sideways step to get further along the line. He pointing through the glass, a bit insistent. The worker’s hand hovered over a few items that all received headshakes until finally Aleks nodded. A mound of wispy white cheese curls landed on top the rest, and Aleks nodded once, firmly.

The resultant silvery tube got jammed into a paper sack, and Aleks practically lunged to snatch it from the counter. Apparently Marcus was paying for lunch, and Aleks was getting them a table. Or running for the car. Maybe running for the house. Hopefully not running home.

Marcus thanked the cashier, although his sincerity slipped when he saw the giggly ‘wtf’ look she exchanged with a coworker. It burned him inside to think they’d make fun Aleks, even if he knew every customer suffered mockery, regardless of weird behavior or unusual appearance.

Increasingly worried full-head turns failed to reveal where Aleks might have gone to eat. Someone bumped into his left side, and Marcus hastily checked before stepping further out of the natural flow of movement. He found a stationary trashcan instead to occupy the blind spot while he continued looking around for Aleks.

Finally he spotted waving arms. Aleks stopped and sunk back down into his seat once Marcus made an acknowledging half-wave with his hand. Seated, Aleks’ dark head and plain, dark-colored clothes made him impossible to spot again, so it seemed to take Marcus twice as long to reach him. Whenever he looked away to make sure he didn’t run into anyone or anything, Marcus needed to stop walking to re-orient himself. At last he made it to the table and plunked down into the seat opposite Aleks.

Mutual embarrassment kept lunch between them quiet. Aleks’ phone stayed in one hand, his eyes never straying far from the screen. To judge by the attentive scrolling and intermittent taps, he was checking his blog. Besides the pinkish tint that faded while they ate, Aleks didn’t seem too wildly upset.

The upward flick and then long, held gaze made Marcus conscious of the fact he’d been staring. Or at least caught watching Aleks, when Aleks didn’t seem to like being watched. Marcus fumbled for something else to look at instead. Something else to do, maybe.

He decided to try talking to Aleks, either to compound his problems or assuage them. “Um, is there -- anything good on the tag?”

The shrug was entirely expected, yet still somehow disappointing. Aleks kept his eyes on his phone as he tapped. Only when he flicked an expectant look up through his bangs did Marcus think to get his phone out of his pocket to check.

 

 _(Aleks)_  
_Hey found a table. I’m near this weird sign advertising idk what_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Community college, I’m reading it now. Anyway mostly red with some super excited students full of lies and airbrushing. I’m next to it._  
_(Aleks)_  
_Over here!_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Nothing all that great on the tag. Wanna go home after this?_

 

“Sure,” Marcus said. “Sorry, when I was looking for you that I didn’t think to check my phone.”

Aleks shrugged, quick and easy, and then hopped to his feet. He wadded his trash together and stuffed it into sack along with some unused napkins. Marcus did the same and gladly let Aleks weave around the tables and people to find a trashcan.

They left the crowded food court and started for the parking garage, although along the way Marcus lost Aleks. He stopped and turned, panicked for only as long as it took to realize Aleks was three store entrances behind him, stopped-still and staring with obvious interest.

Marcus doubled-back to check. “Did you want to go in?” he offered, before even seeing which store caught Aleks’ attention. As Marcus nearer and saw the plethora of colorful, cute merchandise arranged in the window display, he started to grin. “Oh, yeah! I nearly forgot. Let’s go inside,” he said. Without thinking, he grabbed Aleks’ hand.

Aleks jerked his hand back so fast he nearly fell over. He shook his head, once quick, and then again frantic. Before Marcus could react with anything other than surprise, Aleks took off -- head down, shoulders up, face buried in his phone as he walked away so fast it barely avoided running.

Suddenly Marcus had a terrible conundrum -- go after Aleks, or stand there to read whatever made his pocket beep. Marcus decided to go for his phone, since chasing Aleks seemed good way to end up chasing him directly into oncoming traffic instead.

 

 _(Aleks)_  
_no fucking way am i going in the hello kitty store lol no forever_

 

Marcus looked up from the screen in time to see Aleks disappear around the corner. Holding his phone, Marcus checked to make sure he wouldn’t be in way before typing out his reply.

 

 _(Me)_  
_Why not? I thought you liked Hello Kitty? :)_

 

The reply appeared quickly. Marcus had no way of knowing if it meant Aleks was still on the move or if he’d stopped. He suspected the former due to the rushed, unpunctuated nature of the text.

 

 _(Aleks)_  
_kinda fucking love it but not going in there_  
_(Me)_  
_Why not? I’ll get you something!_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Bribery?!_  
_(Me)_  
_Sure! :D_  
_(Aleks)_  
_lol nope good try though_

 

Marcus frowned down at his phone. Aleks hadn’t gone into any of the stores, even if they’d wandered around to look at several. Maybe he only shopped online. Marcus lifted his head to look around carefully, but he didn’t see Aleks anywhere.

 

 _(Me)_  
_Can I ask why? Sorry, curious. Worried I guess._  
_(Aleks)_  
_uhm bc I’m a guy and hello kitty is super cute girly shit? please lets just go_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Where’d you park?_

 

Hopefully that meant Aleks was all the way in the parking garage and not sneakily watching him from somewhere Marcus couldn’t see, because he knew the glare he was giving his phone had to be a nasty one. Marcus poked his way over the physical keys of his dumb old phone.

 

 _(Me)_  
_I’ll go inside with you. Trust me no one will notice you. I’ll distract everyone, and you can pretend not to know me._  
_(Aleks)_  
_omg what are you going to do??_  
_(Me)_  
_Be a 6’ 2” tough guy with an eye patch. I’m good at it ;)_

 

No reply appeared right away. Marcus wondered at that for a moment, and then kept wondering about it the longer his phone stayed silent. He looked up in time to see Aleks himself returning at nearly the same quick pace as he’d left. He rushed to Marcus, right up close, so Marcus just stood there holding his phone as Aleks shoved in for a fast, frantic hug.

It was already ending by the time Marcus recovered from his surprise. Aleks bounced back from him and started tapping, both hands occupied with his phone rather than around Marcus. He flashed up a shy smile before looking down to keep typing.

 

 _(Aleks)_  
_Good thinking. You can glare at anyone who tries to start shit about how much Hello Kitty is adorable. I got your back. I might be pocket sized but I wont hold my punches :D_

 

Marcus’ laugh carried too much relief for him to keep it quiet, but Aleks didn’t seem to mind the loud contrast to his quiet smile. Rather than risk doing anything to send Aleks scurrying for cover, Marcus kept his hands to himself as they went into the store.

Conscious of the way Aleks hovered behind him, Marcus wandered over to where most of the art supplies and stationery sets seemed clustered. It put a display rack between Aleks and both the front store windows and the customer making small talk with the sales clerk. Marcus could barely see over the display, and he was the tallest person in the store. He didn’t think anyone would be able to see Aleks -- or, rather, that Aleks would be able to see anyone.

Aleks snatched up a pencil and then hastily set it back when a little girl came wandering through with her mother in tow. When they were relatively alone again, when he grabbed up the pencil to keep looking at it. Aleks put it back and then crouched with the same quick eagerness to look at some zippered pouches.

The dim background music and floating soft-spoken voices of the other people in store caught Marcus’ attention in time. Rather than interrupt the hushed quiet, he typed into his phone.

 

 _(Me)_  
_See anything you like?_

 

Marcus expected a shrug. Instead Aleks glanced at his phone screen and then, without really looking, thrust the zippered pouch in his other hand up at Marcus. Classic back-to-school designs of chalkboards, fat yellow pencils, and bespectacled kitty mascots decorated it. Taking it from Aleks, Marcus flipped a quick peek at the price tag. It seemed excessive for something so small, but Marcus knew far too much about how tiny things could carry large cost. Bridget’s Christmas present had included a single quarter-sized canister of eyeshadow that cost thirty-two dollars.

“Nice,” Marcus said. He forgot about keeping his voice down, but Aleks didn’t seem to mind. He was already on his feet, phone in his face and hands busy.  

 

 _(Aleks)_  
_It’s so stupid cute I almost hate it. Buy it for me? :D_  
_(Aleks)_  
_If I really do get a bribe lol_

 

The sideways glance that Aleks gave him stayed in place long enough for Marcus to finish reading and look up in time to catch. “Sure,” he said. “I actually felt bad I didn’t get you anything last time, when I came here with my nieces. I didn’t see your text about liking Hello Kitty until we’d already left.”

The fast hunch and release of Aleks’ shoulders made Marcus uncomfortably aware of his own voice, the deep timbre of it that seemed to carry everywhere despite his efforts at being quiet. It worked well for when he needed to shout across the noise of welding, machinery, and a dozen others talking at once. It worked less well when he was trying not to embarrass his extremely shy boyfriend in the middle of a pastel-coated wonderland of apparently too-cute accessories.

Rather than point out the awkwardness with an apology, Marcus went to pay for the pencil pouch Aleks wanted. While the clerk rang up the purchase, Marcus checked for Aleks and spotted him already waiting back outside the store. That was unfortunate, since Marcus would have liked for Aleks to hear the complete normalcy of the transaction.

No one was staring at Marcus, that he could tell at least, and certainly no one was making any comments about him. A perfectly normal sales transaction, as if Marcus were buying milk or something else trivial. And then Marcus remembered the repair kiosk, the ticket window at the theater and the God-awful disaster of ordering lunch.

The casual way he said, “Thanks,” seemed to hurt somehow, even though it was soft.

“Of course!” The sales clerk beamed. “Thanks for coming in! Have a great day.”

Marcus smiled in return and then took the plastic bag barely weighed down with the flimsy fabric pouch inside. How many transactions for Aleks ended up with him running away and the sales clerk making a ‘wtf’ face behind his back? Or, worse, to his face, so it was no wonder Aleks so rarely looked directly at anyone or anything besides his phone.

By the time Marcus joined Aleks outside the store, it was hard to keep his smile neutral as he turned over the shopping bag. Harder still was keeping the smile in place when Aleks just shook his head and walked off, not even willing to be seen holding the mascot-printed store bag slathered in cute. Marcus had walked through this same mall carrying all kinds of shopping bags on too many occasions to be bothered. He did two Christmases and three birthdays before telling the lot of them very firmly that even if they liked the perfume or the sleepwear and not the lingerie, he was never going back into those stores.

But Hello Kitty, he could handle. Strangely the fact Aleks was shy about this seemed so trivial in comparison to … Everything else. All those hundred small interactions of Aleks’ day. Marcus suddenly understood far more about being in Aleks’ top ten. Thank God he wasn’t number one, then. Or, maybe he did want to be the worst thing for Aleks to deal with.

In the car, Aleks all but ripped the bag from Marcus to get the pencil pouch in his hands. He tore off the price tag and then sat there fiddling with the zipper. The long, concealing sweep of bangs blocked Marcus from seeing most his expression, but it seemed to be a smile.

Marcus tried not to feel discouraged, especially since Aleks seemed content and relaxed as he set the pencil case aside and balanced his phone into hands. The furious pace of tapping that followed surely meant Aleks was writing something -- saying something -- even though he knew Marcus couldn’t look at his phone while driving. Aleks tended to fire off messages almost like taking breaths sometimes. After several long enough pauses, though, no beep came from his pocket.

Probably talking to Sacha, or maybe Aleks was typing up a text post for his blog. Marcus tried not to think about it. He tried to focus on driving, which was something that definitely deserved and needed his full attention. Unfortunately, Marcus had a lot on his mind. It made for a quiet drive back, silent to the point that even Aleks noticed, because he suddenly pointed through the window at something like he wanted Marcus to explain it.

Regretfully, Marcus had to reply with, “Oh? Sorry. I didn’t see it.”

Aleks shrugged and turned around in his seat for a better look at whatever had caught his interest. For a moment, Marcus considered the harm in looking as well. Several vividly imagined wrecks later, Aleks turned back around and resumed typing.

“It’s fortunate you don’t get carsick trying to read. My sister does,” Marcus said. “Deborah? She can’t go thirty seconds trying to look at her phone before feeling queasy. I told Mom that means we don’t have to worry about her texting and driving, at least.”

From the corner of his eye, Marcus saw Aleks nodding along as if he were possibly interested in idle chit-chat about people he hadn’t met yet. Might not ever meet, but, Marcus didn’t want to think about that. He’d put that with the rest to be worried over after Aleks left, like if this counted as their third date or not, or if it did why Marcus thought that mattered.

Marcus had his head so full of thoughts he wasn’t trying to think about that he didn’t leave enough room for the thoughts he did need to have, quite desperately, like remembering to slow down and look sideways to line up his car in the garage. Aidan had helped him run a stripe of electrical tape along the wall so he’d know how far forward was okay. Marcus had only really needed it maybe the first week after the accident, but he liked having it. It saved him from awkwardly bumping the front end of his car into the storage rack.

The precarious balance of stacked clutter and home improvement projects shook free under the duress of a sudden low-speed collision. Quickly Marcus switched into reverse and backed his car a few feet clear of the tumbling mess, but the damage was done. Not any damage to his car, hopefully, or the storage rack, or the crap falling from it, but Marcus didn’t especially care about any of that. He turned off the car.

Tension crawled over his shoulders as he realized he waiting for Aleks to say something. Did that make it less awkward or more awkward, that Aleks wasn’t going to say anything? More awkward, because it meant Marcus needed to say something. Laugh it off somehow, even though he’d just put everything back on the storage rack after convincing himself he wouldn’t smash into it anymore.

Marcus decided just to get out of the car. Maybe he wouldn’t say anything about it either. That seemed like a great plan, until he caught sight of all the stuff on the floor or half-rolled under his car that needed to go back on the shelves.

The door to the kitchen opened with impeccable timing. “Marcus? Marcus, what -- Oh.” Aidan took in the state of the storage rack with a soft, sympathetic frown. He was dressed for the day, which meant Marcus at least hadn’t woken him with the noise.

The passenger door opened to let Aleks come join a situation already awkward enough without the silent way he saw Aidan blocking his access to the house and then simply chose to go for the open garage door rather than do anything about it. Marcus hoped the front door was unlocked, otherwise he’d need to cut through the house to go open it for Aleks.

Aidan descended the steps in his socks and folded his arms against his chest for warmth against the cold air. “Marcus, I’ll pick this up if you wanna head inside,” he said quietly. The nod of his head in the direction Aleks had disappeared made his meaning clear.

“Oh. No, thanks. I got it, don’t worry about it. Is the front door unlocked?”

“Unless you locked it,” Aidan said. Rather than go back inside, he came up on one side of the mess as Marcus reached the other. Aidan knelt to swiftly start grabbing up pieces to a busted-apart plastic organizer.

It didn’t take them long to get the storage rack back together, not when Aidan could just hand everything to Marcus rather than try to jump, toss, or otherwise attempt to somehow stubbornly get at the shelves beyond his reach. Aidan couldn’t be much taller than Aleks, the two of them both in the same range Marcus considered short even if he wasn’t stupid enough to say that to Aidan’s face. He’d bought a step-stool for Aidan to use in the kitchen. It sat collecting dust in corner of the garage. Aidan tossed things or jumped for them instead, or would demand Marcus get it down if they were both home and awake.

“Sorry.” Marcus watched as Aidan crawled under the car to reach an escaped length of PVC pipe. “I didn’t mean to hit it.”

“No shit.” Aidan’s voice nearly disappeared into the difficulty of wiggling out from under the car again. He got to his feet and looked the nub of pipe over before handing it to Marcus. “I didn’t think you did.”

“I wasn’t looking,” Marcus said.

Aidan smiled. “You’ll look next time. Or you’ll smack into it, who cares. So long as you don’t plow your car directly into my bedroom we’re cool.”

Marcus thought about the arrangement of the house. “The foundation would stop me from getting through the kitchen at this angle. I’d have to take out the entire living room coming in from the street, assuming I could ramp the porch. Or circle around in the backyard and try getting through my room on the way to yours.”

“Like fifty-percent terrified you have this planned out,” Aidan said. He grinned and then bounced in place. “Freezing, oh my God! I’m going inside.” He darted for the kitchen and hurried up the steps. He held the door for Marcus, who switched the garage door into grinding motion before following.

They found Aleks in the kitchen, a mug in one hand the other pointed at the coffee maker. Before Marcus could puzzle out the question, Aidan spoke up with the answer. “Yeah, go ahead. I just made it fresh.”

Aleks nodded and turned to fill his mug. The exchange prompted Marcus to check the clock on the microwave. “What time did you get up?” he asked Aidan.

“One-thirty. Let’s see how well I run on less-than-five. Weekends, gotta love them. I’ll probably nap later. Or not.” Aidan spoke as he walked into the living room where a paused video game and abandoned coffee mug explained his Saturday afternoon activity. He grabbed up the controller and then plunked his headset back in place.

“Sorry, roommate came home.” Aidan unpaused the game to the immediate crescendo of ominous music that Marcus automatically associated with fierce yelling in Aidan’s impossibly too-cute-to-be-angry voice. “Son of a bitch! Which of you assholes shot me? I said brb. Don’t fucking laugh, Ethan, I’m coming for you now. I’ll spawn-camp you if necessary.”

Aleks’ around-his-bangs look of shy curiosity collapsed when he caught Marcus watching. He flinched his gaze down at his coffee instead and then shrugged. The sideways glance at the door to the garage got followed up with another shrug before Aleks left the kitchen. Marcus made the transition into the entry and watched as Aleks walked down the hall toward the -- bedroom or office? Office, Marcus noted with sharp relief, and Aleks turned at the door to beckon at him.

“Yeah. Be right there,” Marcus said. He lifted his hand in the same dorky half-wave like he had across the mall food court and then turned for kitchen like he had any excuse at all to be in there. After a few minutes of hiding near the toaster, Marcus’ pocket beeped. A new email from myshonok-deimos, with less-than-three for the subject line. Marcus decided to read it at his computer instead, and put his phone back in his pocket.

“Aleks?” His initial peek into the room worried Marcus, since the corner was empty. Movement behind the desk revealed Aleks perched cross-legged in the chair and already scrambling to vacate it.

Aleks stood next to the chair with his laptop and gestured at the chair -- playfully, kind of whisking his hand over it like presenting a showcase prize. Marcus realized he was still scowling over the storage shelves and all those hundred small things stuck worrying him. It was times like these he walked the neighborhood in circles until he untangled the thoughts in his head.

Aleks motioned to the chair again, looking perhaps a little worried himself. Marcus made a conscious effort to smile instead. “Sorry. Thinking again. Um, I haven’t read your email yet.”

The smile dropped from Aleks’ face. He moved away from the chair with his laptop held close and then shrugged. He kept standing there as Marcus decided it was safe to walk over and sit at his desk. Aleks stood for a moment in his blind spot before walking around to stand where Marcus could see him. Since this also let Aleks put his laptop on the computer tower, Marcus had no way of actually knowing if that was intentional.

They looked at each other. Marcus looked away to type in his password. “Um. Well, I hope it’s not anything bad? I had fun today… did you?”

He looked up in time to catch lips together and curved, that shy, quiet smile that seemed just as exuberant and cute as less-than-three hearts and rapid-fire assaults on proper grammar and punctuation. Aleks nodded and pointed to the blind spot -- the computer monitor. Reluctantly, Marcus took his eye off Aleks to read the email waiting for him.

 


	23. Chapter 23

subject: <3  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Hi handsome! Greetings from next to you in the car. I’m getting a head start on this one cause I think it’s gonna end up long. First omg THANK YOU for my new pencil case I LOVE IT and YOU ARE THE BEST thank you so much!! <3 <3 Sorry that you had to bribe me into the store lol but thanks for doing it. Really. Remind me later and I can tell you a sad story about tiny bby Deimos wanting one of these but never getting to have one. Or don’t remind me, thats cool too.  
Okay I better hurry if I wanna beat you to the house cause you are driving like it's serious business right now haha. You really do look pissed when you’re concentrating on something. Or you are really fucking pissed at me right now and thats why you’re not saying anything, but I know you said you just look that way when you’re thinking soooooo idk? Hope you’re not mad about anything or feeling frustrated...  
So this is the part where I get spazzy and it's probably a good thing we’re in a moving vehicle I can’t throw myself out of to escape. But I do want to say a very sincere thank you for today. I’m so happy to have my phone back. And I did a movie and lunch mall date with my boyfriend! <3 A real actual date! Aahhhh so dorky and perfect thank you! I had a lot of fun! But on a more serious note if you  
omg jk  
Everything above? In the car. This? In the office. You? Hopefully reading this in the kitchen. Me? Desperately eager to chat. I’ll be here waiting. Unless you really are pissed with me, then I can go fuck off in a different room so you can use your computer without me around.  
<3 Aleks

 

 

 

Deimos: ?  
_Sent at 3:41 PM on Saturday_  
Deimos: you’re looking at me so I guess that means you read my email?

Praxis: Yeah :)

Deimos: Angry for real?

Praxis: Nope! Just confused again :)

Deimos: LIES! Those smiley faces are lies like my lols! LIEEEEEEES!!!!!  
omg sorry im a jerk idk why I had to start screaming that everywhere but guess I like not being the only weird one?  
asdfghjkl; (ok good you laughed)

Praxis: I’m really not mad about anything. I guess my face thinks that I should just punch all my problems until they go away.

Deimos: lol mine is like RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!  
Hide until your problems go away!  
Freak out when they don’t!

Praxis: Haha :)  
Okay, I want to read your email again.

Deimos: ok! <3 sorry its long

Praxis: I like when you send me long emails :)

Deimos: teehee <3  
_Sent at 3:56 PM on Saturday_

Praxis: Okay. Definitely not mad at you for anything :) I’m really glad you had fun.

Deimos: Is it going to bother you if I point out the excessive amount of angry backspacing involved in that response?  
Ooooo answer is yes  
you’re looking at me  
fuck  
hi  
sorry

Praxis: No, it’s okay! It doesn’t bother me.  
I keep changing my mind about what to say.

Deimos: again sorry if this is out of line but like you really don’t type that much slower than me, you just delete half of what you say!  
totally not creeping on IRL you or anything (or maybe I am idk)

Praxis: You can creep on IRL me :) He’s okay with that.  
What was your more serious note? I’m guessing you got interrupted by my fabulous parking job.

Deimos: heh yeah a little … are you ok?  
Is your shit okay? Didn’t get too smashed up or anything?  
Booze me up again tonight and turn me loose, I’ll trash the whole garage like a rockstar and no one will even notice! ;D

Praxis: Haha, sure! But everything’s OK, nothing broke. Except my pride maybe. Sorry I got so upset.  
Am still upset I guess.

Deimos: its ok!  
Honestly I didn’t even think about it but i bet its super fucking hard to drive with one eye!  
I’d totally try it for the drive home but that would probably end with my car exploded in a ditch on fire or something  
but yeah i didnt think about that so next time I can drive <3 sorry! If you won’t yell at me for it I can even text (maybe like at red lights lol) so it wont be so painfully stupid bc of me  
omg and I made you DD at new years and drive all that way to see me… hahaha I really am the worst  
_Sent at 4:11 PM on Saturday_  
Deimos: ?

Praxis: Thinking :)

Deimos: Just say what you’re thinking!

Praxis: I don’t want it to come across the wrong way.

Deimos: ok?  
well I will try to take it the right way  
or I will spazz until I understand so long as you’re willing to throw explanations at me while I run around in frantic circles terrified you hate me

Praxis: Okay, well, I don’t hate you. Definitely don’t hate you.  
Okay. Well, I am thinking, that I don’t especially like that I cashed my car into the storage rack. It’s embarrassing. I didn’t mean to do it, and I know how I could have avoided it. It’s my fault. I was careless.  
I would never try to get that close to anything while driving or parking, but my garage is small and I need to pull my car in further than I’m comfortable with to get the garage door closed behind my car.  
I wouldn’t drive you anywhere unless I felt safe doing it. I know where my blind spot is and how to adjust for it. I can still see all my mirrors while driving, and I make sure to pay attention. I’m glad you never thought about my driving before today, and, it’s upsetting to think you don’t want me to drive anymore.  
That you don’t trust me to drive.

Deimos: D:  
you were thinking all that?

Praxis: I got a lot more. That was just off the top.  
Sorry

Deimos: it’s ok!  
and I do trust you! you can drive me places!  
holy shit have you even seen me behind the wheel?  
I sometimes let Sacha drive me places for fuck’s sake  
ok im not sure why I thought pointing out my reckless lack of concern regarding motor vehicle safety would be helpful this is the circling spazz part I warned you about

Praxis: I need an explanation to throw!

Deimos: hurry!

Praxis: <3!

Deimos: hahahahahaha ok thats a good explanation

Praxis: IRL you looks really cute right now, for the record :)

Deimos: omgshutup  
teehee <3 ok  
IRL you looks really handsome right now <3  
also you’re a great driver and really please dont feel bad I genuinely didnt realize it was because of your eye until you looked so devastated about it and your roommate knew why  
I thought maybe you just did like a normal fuck up. I backed up into a light pole once, totally sober and broad daylight idk what happened

Praxis: That does make me feel better.  
Not that you hit a pole! Was this recently?

Deimos: nah my other car. I won’t catalog the entire rundown of how much shit I hit with that car hahaha or you’ll never trust me to drive you anywhere!

Praxis: Well I like driving :) So I’ll probably want to drive, if that’s okay.

Deimos: a-okay! feel free to chauffer me everywhere <3  
I totally trust you with it, promise. I just didn’t want you to feel like you had to  
trying to helpful lol sorry

Praxis: No, it’s okay. I appreciate it. Everyone tries to be helpful, I know that.  
Guess I don’t like the attention.

Deimos: totally get it  
well this as awkward of point as any for my serious note then I guess  
unless you needed to spew more thoughts at me?

Praxis: About hitting the storage rack? I think I got that out of my system.

Deimos: ok <3 good so well I was going to say -- on a more serious note if you want to just ignore me while we’re out in public that’s okay  
probably easier actually  
you never should have told me it was okay to creep on you cause now I’m just blatantly watching you not know what the fuck to type

Praxis: Guilty as charged!

Deimos: throw it at me, what’s got you glaring?  
don’t want to ignore me I take it?

Praxis: Well, yeah! I like you. I like interacting with you and looking at you and paying attention to you. But I understand that it makes you uncomfortable, so I’m not sure what to do about that.  
You didn’t want to go into the store, but you did go, and you said you were glad that you went.  
I don’t know what to think now. I’ve confused myself.

Deimos: sorry I am weird and confusing :c  
or before you tell me I’m not  
lets at least please agree that I make things weird and confusing  
because I want to make them less weird and confusing for you, and i dont think I can do that unless they are weird and confusing to begin with … if that makes sense

Praxis: It does :)

Deimos: wait what just got angry backspaced to death?  
tell meeeeeeeeeeeee  
or else I’ll spazz in a circle convinced it was a confession about how you secretly hate me and want me to go away

Praxis: Don’t do that!  
It wasn’t that. I was agreeing with you. I was going to say that it’s like with my eye.  
Let me explain that.

Deimos: explain away  
entering spazz-circle holding pattern until further notice

Praxis: Okay.  
Well, okay. You’re right. I do want to say, “You’re not weird!” or “This isn’t confusing!” But you’re right, it is, a little. (Okay a lot actually)  
I don’t mind that it is. I don’t want you to think that this bothers me. Any of this, being with you, this weekend, everything’s fine on I guess a very high level overview. If … that makes sense.

Deimos: Everything’s okay even though it’s not?  
quintessential opposite motto of my life maybe lol okay, makes sense. I’m trying to say the same thing

Praxis: Right. And, that’s what I meant, when I said it was like my eye. If I told myself I was no different, and that nothing was different, I’d probably hit that storage rack every single time I parked my car.  
But instead I figured out something that would work for me with how I am now. Even though I’d rather just be like I was.  
Someone who didn’t need to do things differently.

Deimos: yeah

Praxis: Don’t know what else to say?

Deimos: <3 guilty

Praxis: :)

Deimos: lol I’m looking right at IRL you, he’s got a much better smile  
what’cha thinking?

Praxis: How hard it would be to make custom icons for the chat system. I’m going to say harder than I possibly think and leave it at that.

Deimos: pfffft  
ok so we agree things are weird and confusing thanks to me, yay! idk how to make them less weird but maybe I can tackle the confusing part?  
like if you want to ask me weird embarrassing shit about my dumb life I’ll try to stand here and answer without tooooooo much spazzing

Praxis: Actually I wanted to ask, are you comfortable standing there??

Deimos: NO  
but if I sit on the floor you can’t see me, right? and I can’t see you (or as much as you as I like, which is a lot!)

Praxis: I could bring a chair in from the kitchen

Deimos: I’m looking at a chair right now

Praxis: ?

Deimos: can i share? :D  
(let me sit in your lap boyfriend what is your problem)

Praxis: Oh! Sure :) Yes.  
_Sent at 5:18 PM on Saturday_

Deimos: ok  
here?  
ok  
here?

Praxis: not really

Deimos: haha ok  
_Sent at 5:22 PM on Saturday_  
Deimos: well good effort  
boo :c I wanted that to work

Praxis: Sorry!  
Wait I have an idea hold on.

Deimos: ok?  
_Sent at 5:25 PM on Saturday_  
omg you are not  
what!

_Praxis is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Praxis comes online._

 

 

Deimos: got it?  
_Sent at 5:42 PM on Saturday_

Praxis: Yes!  
Okay be patient with me, new keyboard

Deimos: <3 np  
your roommate is far too trusting. I would have told you to fuck off and die

Praxis: Well he’s been trying to get me to buy this stupid thing, so I told him letting me test drive it for a day was a good sales pitch.

Deimos: oh that died a furious backspace death, what was it?

Praxis: An unfunny joke.  
Wait there’s a pop up I’m not sure what to do about. Let me go ask Aidan

Deimos: ok  
I will wait here and get cozy  
yay bed  
much better than standing  
this is my homeworld lol  
wb!

Praxis: Thanks! I should be good now.  
I promised him I wouldn’t click on anything else besides this chat box.

Deimos: so much murder if you’d asked to borrow MY laptop  
then again that would’ve defeated the point lol  
also be sure you logout and then also nuke the browser history from orbit JUST IN CASE

Praxis: Haha okay :) But I’m not worried if Aidan gets into my email I guess.  
He wouldn’t go snooping. I know where he sleeps ;)

Deimos: that winky face does not make that sentence less creepy, mr internet stranger  
okay well dual laptop slumber party seems cozy enough soooooooo dumb question time lets get this over with  
throw ‘em at me I’m ready  
wait

Praxis: Confused backspacing!

Deimos: I know!  
okay okay just one rule dont ask dumb shit like why or I’ll throw this laptop in your face and you will straight up never see me again (bc murder)  
only questions about the present please!

Praxis: Okay. The equivalent of asking me how I drive with one eye, rather than how I lost it in the first place?

Deimos: yes please!  
<3

Praxis: Okay :) Easy.  
Okay, so, here’s one. How do you order pizza?

Deimos: lol online, all the places I order from have online ordering  
except the chinese place but Sacha’s friends with one of the dudes working there so I just call and beep my way through it

Praxis: Beep?

Deimos: yeah he’s like, hey aleks you want the usual? and then I beep and he says okay and I beep again before hanging up  
I always have to pay cash at the door but its so worth it  
oh but if that dude doesnt answer I just hang up and walk to the place near me if I’m determined to have kungpao chicken  
there I just point at the menu... its actually super easy because I’m not sure the lady at the counter speaks much English  
she’s kinda nice actually  
I’m just really lazy and the other place is better plus like stranger danger idk  
lol sorry long answer

Praxis: I like long answers! I like watching you type too :)  
How about your electric bill?

Deimos: you can do it over the phone without talking, its all button-prompts but then sometimes the system fucks up and they reroute you to a human… lol thats when I hang up and try back later  
I wish theyd do it online without charging you. sometimes I suck it up and pay the like $3 instead to do it online but omg so poor do you know how much ramen that is?  
I should probably order checks from my bank and then mail in the payment but omg who does that anymore?!

Praxis: Well, I do!

Deimos: of course you do <3

Praxis: I’m guessing you don’t ever go to fast-food places? I’m thinking of the call box outside.

Deimos: nope can’t, I have to go inside and suffer the awkwardness of pointing my way through it … kind of like at lunch today  
um sorry about that btw  
awkwarrrrrd

Praxis: I’m sorry too :C  
I guess I should have picked somewhere that didn’t offer a dozen choices.

Deimos: lol yeah being asked non yes/no questions is a nightmare but its okay really  
honestly I was way more freaked out doing that kind of bullshit in front of you than actually having it happen if that makes sense  
I’m used to strangers eyefucking me like I’m the biggest weirdo on the planet  
I mean it freaks me out and I hate it just… in front of you is like a million times worse. And strangers I get to walk away from but you I’m stuck with  
… in like the best way

Praxis: I understand. I’d rather have hit the storage rack without you or Aidan around to see me do it.

Deimos: oh yeah always easier to fuck up in front of yourself than others

Praxis: Yeah :)

Deimos: plus people working retail and fast food and stuff, they dont really give a shit and hate you anyway lol  
sit down places are hit or miss, sometimes way easier if I can get through sitting down/drinks and them realizing they’re stuck with me pointing at shit and nodding

Praxis: Hmm… Okay. What about movie tickets? I was thinking of that earlier.

Deimos: oh thats easy  
I don’t

Praxis: What do you mean?

Deimos: like to see movies and stuff, I don’t go  
lol leaving my apartment in general except school or to get food/necessities isn't something I do voluntarily  
so like if I’m somewhere else it means someone’s with me, and then they buy the movie ticket or whatever  
oh yeah also going out to eat too like I’ll just get someone to order for me  
actually idk why I offered you unlimited questions when I really only have 3 answers -- online, I don’t do it, Sacha does it for me

Praxis: Well, I can buy movie tickets and stuff, that’s easy. I’ll admit that I would find it a little weird to order your food for you, but if you’re okay with it?  
I wanted to offer at lunch.

Deimos: totally okay with it and yeah I know it’s weird, that’s why this is the “lets talk about my weird and confusing bullshit” party  
why the fuck are we doing this sober  
_Sent at 6:37 PM on Saturday_

Praxis: Stop watching me type!

Deimos: haha okay fine back to my side of the bed fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine  
but now I know you’re over there erasing thoughts about me!  
All those Praxis is typing messages were fucking backspaces -- whole novels of possible conversations destroyed!  
I’m selfish give them to me give them all to meeeeeeeee

Praxis: Okay, okay.  
I don’t mind if you watch me, just actually looking over my shoulder as I type…

Deimos: hahahaha ok ok I know I’ll behave  
teehee <3 so long as you’re okay with me kicking you like this

Praxis: I’m okay with it, but if you go for my face I’m blocking with Aidan’s laptop. He might not like that.

Deimos: lol I wouldnt smash my favorite hunk’s gorgeous face! <3  
now spill, what were all those backspaces?

Praxis: Well, I was going to say, I would rather have this conversation with us both sober if that is okay.

Deimos: fine <3 I was joking anyway  
super nervous

Praxis: Aw, don’t be! You don’t seem that nervous.  
Um, that was meant as a compliment.

Deimos: lol nice to know I’m handling my shit (I know what you meant!)  
but yeah no I’m okay, I’m not thaaaaaaat nervous. Not as bad as yesterday for sure, that was top-level panic sorry again.

Praxis: It’s okay. Can I still ask questions?

Deimos: yeah! <3 go for it

Praxis: Okay. Do you only shop online?

Deimos: depends. but I go to like the store and stuff all the time, that’s fine. the big supercenter has self-checkout which is like one of my top ten favorite inventions, thank you to whoever came up with that  
then again like most places the retail workers aren’t really looking to talk to you unless necessary and if they are I just leave ‘cause fuck it

Praxis: Okay. How about school? What do you do if the teacher calls on you?

Deimos: well first of all I’m in like grad school and shit so like there isn’t a whole lot of being called on anymore lol  
but this falls into the “do it online or dont do it at all” category. so like if my professors want to ask me anything they email me and if I want to ask them anything same thing  
then otherwise it’s just sitting there listening or working on whatever depending on what kind of class it is … I do a lot of studio hours which is just purely me going out there and doing art for credit but like I can sit in lecture and take notes and write essays/take tests whatever

Praxis: Oh. Is it okay to say that’s easier than I thought it’d be?

Deimos: yeah you can say whatever! its fine, I won’t take it the wrong way  
the college helps out like blind kids and deaf kids and dumb kids and super weird kids so idk, red carpet I guess  
lol did you know your boyfriend is a rockstar of being weird? I get special treatment :D

Praxis: I nearly said “That must be nice!” before I realized it probably isn’t.

Deimos: hahaha yeah <3  
aw hey thanks for being so sweet, this awkward Q&A is totally less awkward than I thought it’d be

Praxis: I’m glad! I don’t want to make you feel awkward or nervous.

Deimos: you don’t! talking to you is really easy <3 I’m mostly convinced you don’t hate me lol

Praxis: I promise I don’t hate you. I’m trying to think of what else I want to know…  
Oh, okay. What are some of the other things in the top ten?

Deimos: of what my favorite inventions?  
lol the internet  
smart phones omg my phone i love my phone its the best  
we go everywhere together lol we sleep together  
I remember not having it  
those were sad sad days for bby deimos

Praxis: So many backspaces I’m sorry

Deimos: hahaha you need a “wtf my boyfriend says the weirdest shit” smiley face  
lol I’ve seen the “my boyfriend does the weirdest shit” one already IRL

Praxis: :D?

Deimos: close!

Praxis: ;D?

Deimos: omg stop <3  
<3 <3 <3  
ugh you are the best thank you for today  
<3 do you mind if I post a pic of that pencil case to my blog?

Praxis: Sure, go ahead!

Deimos: yay!! <3  
don’t worry I won’t tag you or anything  
lol brb?? from chat i guess?? idk keep talking lol I’ll multitask  
_Sent at 7:16 PM on Saturday_

Praxis: Okay. I nearly offered to take your photo with the pencil case. Good thing I thought that one through.

Deimos: haha yeah my #gpoy tag is like entirely tatiana’s fat face  
ugh miss her h/o gonna text Sacha to make sure shes alive and within sight

Praxis: Okay, there’s a question. What do you do about your cat? Do you take her to the vet? How do you call for her?  
_Sent at 7:21 PM on Saturday_

Deimos: yeah I take her to the vet! I spoil the fuck out of her lol  
I’ve been taking her to the same vet the whole time I’ve had her so thats not so bad, they know to expect my weird confusing bullshit. I usually need like a solid 24 hours of spazzing and maybe one or two reschedules before I actually make it … sometimes I get Sacha to do it for me/with me  
for like routine stuff obvs if she was really hurt I would go immediately or at least die trying  
and I trained her to obey like snaps and clapping and shit so I can get her attention, she’s mostly good about it… i’m terrified of her getting out tbh so the fact Sacha’s being a dick right now is super not helpful

Praxis: Everything okay?

Deimos: yeah he knows better than to fuck with me on this  
im sure she’s fine  
omg these tags hahaha don’t judge me

Praxis: Oh did you post to your blog?

Deimos: yeah! go look lol

Praxis: Can’t! I promised Aidan I would confine myself to this chat box.

Deimos: aw… you are so trustworthy! okay here look on my screen  
click on anything and die  
_Sent at 7:33 PM on Saturday_

 

 

 

myshonok-deimos: now I won’t lose fistfuls of art supplies into the black netherworld that is the bottom of my backpack!

#my life #hell no I didn’t spend actual money on this #made my date buy it for me #thats right you heard me #date swag #first date realness #shameless bragging

felixity said: is he hot?? post pics!!  
felixity likes this  
tardigradedeathposture likes this

 

 

 

Deimos: hahaha oops  
felixity just asked if you were hot and wants me to post a picture of you  
omg she’s impossible I just got an ask demanding more details about my date hahahaha

Praxis: Oh? :D Okay. I’ll let you post my dumb face to your blog if you want ;)

Deimos: omg no

Praxis: Why not? I don’t mind.

Deimos: omg no please dont post me to your blog either  
no photos, no names, no details (although I’m bad about that haha) and definitely no revealing who I am IRL on my blog ever  
deimos is supposed to be a girl anyway, remember? but if you’re cool with it I’ll probably start to mention on my blog that I have a bf <3 maybe I’ll try my hand at 2am drunk text posts bragging about you instead of whining about the lack of love in my life lol  
also just bc you looked upset a minute ago and still look upset can I say something really blunt that you might not like?

Praxis: Yeah. Although, I might need an explanation thrown at me.

Deimos: ok np here it goes  
I love your dumb face  
All of it, both sides, all your angles, everything  
so me not wanting to post pictures of you and being shy about posting details and stuff, that’s all me. that’s not at all bc I’m like ashamed of you or dont want anyone to see you or anything like that -- its not that, promise. I love your face. All of you, haha, you look great. I’m super lucky a hunk like you is even willing to send a whiney mopey loser like me one fanmail, let alone attempt to date me like omg wtf be still my heart  
so like with the mirror and stuff, I totally get that, and I’m not saying anything has to change for you there.  
but with me I just want to make sure you know how much I like what I see when I look at you, and I like looking at all of you, your whole face  
omg say something  
do something  
asdfghjkl;

Praxis: Thinking!

Deimos: omg just say what you are thinking boyfriend it is not that hard!

Praxis: Okay. Haha, ok. I am thinking that’s kind of embarrassing, you’re right, it is blunt and I’m not sure I like it… even though I do like it.  
Also when you say the mirror, do you mean what happened last night? I wasn’t sure if you remembered that.

Deimos: yeah I remember throwing my phone  
and then like what you said about the mirror, I remember that

Praxis: Am I hypocrite for saying talking about this is making me uncomfortable?

Deimos: hahaha nope go right ahead say what you want  
we don’t have to talk about it anymore I just wanted it out there… you still owe me an email about last night but I’ll forgive you when I never get one

Praxis: No, I think I can get through an email okay. Just right now it’s uncomfortable.

Deimos: okie dokie! np <3  
okay lies one more real fast just to check is like the whole topic off limits or just right now its not okay?

Praxis: Um, I think just right now. In an email would be okay. It’s a bit much when I’m pressured to respond right away and also we’re looking at each other.

Deimos: okay well I am the opposite I think, right now I’m comfortable talking about my bullshit but getting it in an email might send me in circles… I need the immediate reassurance of just looking at you to make sure you’re still willing to put up with me lol  
also omg not trying to pressure you D:

Praxis: No! No, I didn’t mean it that way :)

Deimos: ok <3 won’t take it that way

Praxis: Okay, so, what should I do about dinner? Do I just decide and get you food, or should we talk about it?

Deimos: lol okay easy boyfriend don’t like dominatrix-style boss me around or anything (or I mean maybe it’d be hot if you did?? idk lol probably not)  
but yeah since we’re here talking already thats fine, or just check with me if we’re in public that’s fine too  
yes/no questions are best, its probably a bit much to expect you to understand the rest right away. I keep forgetting you’re not Sacha  
ooommmmggggggg

Praxis: stop!  
<3!  
Don’t throw your laptop!

Deimos: lol ok

Praxis: I understood what you meant. He spends a lot of time with you IRL, so I’m sure he’s gotten used to interacting with you. Unlike me.  
(Didn’t backspace that one even though I wanted to...)  
I’m thinking about New Year’s Eve now.  
Nothing bad!  
Just thinking. Private thoughts if that’s okay.

Deimos: yeah <3 lol (and yay! sorry I’m such an attention whore)

Praxis: I like giving you attention :)

Deimos: <3 good lol  
also okay this is another last night thing but its about me not you so maybe not off limits?  
just that idk like  
_Sent at 8:21 PM on Saturday_

Praxis: I must admit whatever you’re working on is making me nervous.

Deimos: omg its just backspaces I lied  
ok lol nvm  
sorry thats obnoxious  
might try to email you it lol but nothing bad just paranoia that you hate me

Praxis: Okay. Well, I don’t :)  
So for dinner I could cook something, if you wanted. Grilled cheese sandwiches and soup maybe?

Deimos: Sure!  
omg actual food! haha you are magic

Praxis: You don’t want to come sit in the kitchen while I cook, do you?  
Aidan won’t bother you.

Deimos: ummmm am I jerk if I say no?  
sorry ‘meeting new people’ is higher on the list than ‘interacting with my boyfriend’ so … trying to avoid a spazz session tonight

Praxis: I actually wanted to know what else was on that list, rather than the favorite inventions one. But then I thought maybe you knew that and were dodging the question on purpose, so I let it drop.

Deimos: omg wut  
no I’m just dumb but thats sweet of you! aw you really do put so much thought into what you say! haha unlike me, I just ramble like crazy sorry… (you know I actually try to reign myself in a little sometimes… just really excited to be with you <3)  
but idk sorry I’m going to hide in here away from your roommate probably the rest of the night unless you want to leave the house entirely  
sorry :c know that sucks  
at least you have a big cozy bed?

Praxis: Is this like going into the store, and I should bribe you?

Deimos: no  
no… its not like that  
you could probably talk me into going out there and saying hi … I think I could manage introductions again without freaking out this time. I can probably manage sitting in the kitchen while you cook  
just I’m going to hate it and be super nervous and then what if I fuck it up? if I run away and slam a door like a stupid fucking kid, that’s humiliating and you already had to have at least one awkward conversation about me/my bullshit with him even before I got here  
bleh  
_Sent at 8:37 PM on Saturday_  
Deimos: ok  
no  
idk  
sorry  
_Sent at 8:45 PM on Saturday_  
Deimos: ok  <3  
okay <3 okay okay!  
go cook omg! I’m okay <3  
_Sent at 8:52 PM on Saturday_

 

 

 

 _(Me)_  
_Greetings from the kitchen :)_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Hello from the bedroom!_  
_(Me)_  
_Do you want 1 sandwich or 2?_  
_(Aleks)_  
_2!_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Wait are these like sandwich halves or wholes?_  
_(Me)_  
_1 sandwich = 2 slices of bread + 2 slices of cheese_  
_(Aleks)_  
_omg are you making me do math just to eat?! I will starve to death_  
_(Aleks)_  
_1 sandwich in that case btw <3_  
_(Me)_  
_OK :)_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Curious what your roommate is doing. Still playing that FPS?_  
_(Me)_  
_The lack of profanity and violent threats tells me no. He’s playing something else now._  
_(Me)_  
_Possibly asleep? Seems quiet._  
_(Me)_  
_Nope. Inventory screen was up, he’s off killing things now. Swinging a sword around and shooting fire._  
_(Aleks)_  
_Nice! You just described like every RPG ever so no idea what he’s playing but okay.  
(Aleks)_  
_Nothing different here in the bedroom for me to report on, but I'm already at 12 notes on that post!_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Haha you are popular I am being assaulted by anon asks now asking about you_  
_(Aleks)_  
_I suspect all of these are felixity lol_  
_(Me)_  
_Tomato soup ok?_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Sure!_  
_(Me)_  
_Good. I don’t have another kind of soup now that I look._  
_(Aleks)_  
_lol well nice of you to offer anyway I appreciate it_  
_(Aleks)_  
_It was even in the form of a yes/no question!_  
_(Aleks)_  
_lol good boyfriend you are learning the proper care and keeping of your deimos_  
_(Me)_  
_That makes you sound like my pet!_  
_(Aleks)_  
_lol or sex slave_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Considering I’m literally in your bed waiting for you to return and lavish me with all your attention_  
_(Aleks)_  
_omg I just vividly imagined art I must draw_  
_(Me)_  
_Yeah?_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Not ruining the surprise lol_  
_(Me)_  
_OK ;) Returning!_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Yaaaay! <3_


	24. Chapter 24

subject: <3!!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
  
GOOD MORNING! Greetings from your bed, haha! You are in the shower right now and it is some god awful Earthling hour and do you realize how much I must adore you that I’m even upright and lavishing you with affection right now!! But also thank you for coffee and omg haha I think I drooled on my laptop falling asleep literally at my keys wtf  
This is the email you’ll reply to while I’m driving, about Friday night’s spazz fest, and I thought about what you said, like actually said, about taking a long time to write it because you don’t know what I remember.  
So here is my version of that particular series of bad choices starting from the top:  
Arrive at boyfriend’s house!!!! no boyfriend :c  
Call boyfriend to demand he explain why this is happening >:C  
Get inside and caught by roommate first thing D: !!!  
Awkward silence and staring…….  
Roommate speaks  -- NO QUESTIONS?! ROOMMATE LEAVES ME ALONE?!  
(unbeknownst to Deimos, roommate was warned in advance!)  
? :c ?! :3 ?? (Sneakily watch roommate bc im weird)  
Run away before noticed!  
Hide (<3 in your office, don’t worry I didn’t peek at your stuff! I just checked my blog and shit)  
Heard you come home, yay!  
Saw you with roommate, boo!  
But, boyfriend, yay!  
D: NO INTRODUCTIONS ARE THE WORST!  
AAHHH BOYFRIEND NOOOO SORRY DONT HATE MEEEEEEE  
D: D: D: D: OMG NO THIS IS WEIRD!  
NOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYONE KNOWS IM WEIRD!!! IM SORRY IM WEIRD NOOOOOO!!!  
(commence spazz-circle, escape blocked, can’t hide how weird I am from boyfriend, spazz circling intensifies, Deimos implodes)  
(MEANWHILE! Should I just leave? Maybe I’ll leave! I’m worried about Tatiana??? wtf??? Blahblahblah text-spam Sacha weird shit, lololol besties oommmggggg dont hate meeeeee)  
(AND THEN! You left me alone then we texted so thank you, yet again, for talking me into staying.)    
Boyfriend yay! Bed yay cozy! thank you much better yay please let me just stay here and not have to be weird anymore :c I don’t feel weird here … except right now when you keep asking me to do things besides hide bc thats weird soooooo be less weird! get drunk! drunk people are weird and funny! Fuck em if they dont like me! I am the weird kid but drunk so fun yay!  
Drink! Get drunk, quick! Drink too much! Boyfriend is so sweet to me thank you boyfriend! Sorry I am weird lol we can go to the club soon I am good at loud places where no one is talking lololol  
D: NO WHY LEAVING COME BACK??  
(um remember last night when I talked about snapping my fingers to get Tatiana’s attention? yeeeeeah sorry about that wtf me)  
omg omg nooo why did i do that nooooo im so weird ommmgggg :c :C :C :C :C :C :C H: HFYY?WE ?fgfngmjjdnnnn  
(mopey drunk Deimos is not coherent and hates his life)  
(Boyfriend returns, justifiably surprise at this sudden downward turn of events)  
!!!!!!!  
OMG WEIRDO STOP  
(stop crying, get shit together, try to lure boyfriend back to bed via drunk text spamming)  
“lololololol pls come back pls dont hate me :c jk?”  
(overwhelmed boyfriend loses control of the English language)  
“hahaha loser ok <3”  
EXCEPT!!! NOT THAT!! DRUNK!! WEIRD!! OMG! OMG! WEIRD THING WAS SAID! BOYFRIEND JEALOUS OF BEST FRIEND NO STOP! 1+1=</3 NOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
(phone is hurled across room to stop the stupidity pouring from the mind of a terrified spazz-circling Deimos)  
!!!!!  
BOYFRIEND! AH! SORRY! OMG! (you get the idea I guess lol)  
(Boyfriend tries to fix all the things blahblahlah mopey drunk sobbing -- suddenly shit gets real)  
omg no wut boyfriend ilu face amazing you amazing fuck mirrors but more you amazing yes you amazing thank you aw yes <3 sweet boyfriend tissues and kissing ooo yay but BLACKOUT!  
…. okay, that’s pretty much it.  
Your turn!  
<3 Aleks

  


subject: Re: <3!!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi Aleks,  
Well it’s been about three hours so you might be nearly home. I assume you’ll come looking for my response, so, here it is! Although I don’t think you’re going to like it much, because … I’m still writing it. So this is the email to tell you I’m still working on my explanation, please don’t run around in frantic circles that I hate you. Definitely don’t hate you :)  
Also, how was your drive? I miss you already, which is silly since I’m sure my phone is going to blow up just as soon as you’re out of your car. Or I hope that you wait until you’re no longer driving. “Don’t text and drive!” is something I would think, but then maybe you’ll take it the wrong way, so I would sit here glaring at my keyboard until I thought of a nicer way to say it.  
Apparently you are not the only one who rambles sometimes :)  
Talk to you later,  
Marcus

 

 

  
  
subject: Re: <3!!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

WHAT! How dare you make me wait!  
It’s okay I forgive you <3 <3 Emailing you now that I’ve rolled around rubbing my dumb face all over my fat silly kitty. She’s fine, by the way, I didn’t find her locked in the cabinets. Also nothing on fire or destroyed. I would suspect Sacha of lying to me about being here except I’m looking right at the mess he left ;p maybe I’ll drunk clean  
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ok. I’m sure I’ll think of something to text soon lol  
<3!

  


subject: Re: <3!!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

PS! I won’t text you while driving <3

 

 

subject: Re: <3!!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Now I have to sit here and think of a nice way to tell you not to text anyone while driving....

  


subject: Re: <3!!  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

teehee <3 good luuuucccckkkkk

Attachment: dumbfacelolgpoy.jpg  
395K       View       Download

 

 

 

subject: Friday  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi Aleks,  
I’m really sorry if any of this comes across the wrong way. Hopefully it’s obvious I’m not mad :)  
Here is my version of events, from the top:  
\- Receive call from my boyfriend because I’m running late and he’s running early -- how are Martians so fast?  
\- Admit there is a key under the mat because my roommate always locks himself out of the house, and I’m marginally more worried about Aidan breaking into the house than someone finding the spare key under the mat.  
\- Arrive home to find Aidan woke up early, but assume things are okay because Aidan knows not to bother you.  
\- Say hello to you :)  
\- Introduce boyfriend to roommate like a good host, realize I am post-work disgusting because, again, I am running late and everyone else is early.  
\- Begin to execute brilliant plan of friendship matchmaking.  
\- Watch as plan fails for reasons as of yet unknown, so this was very confusing for me.  
\- Apologize to Aidan, who does not care very much because he is only on his first cup of coffee.  
\- Decide to check on you, but am very confused and not exactly sure what I have done wrong, even though it is obvious I have done everything wrong.  
\- Thinking maybe I shouldn’t act like things are wrong though, so, make dumb small talk. Again, I am very confused and being stupid, because now you have your phone out to tell me something, and my phone is in my backpack.  
\- Get an apology from you.  
\- Watch you on your phone, more confusion, decide to continue with plan. Compound problems by explaining plan even as it is obvious plan was a terrible idea.  
\- Realize everything above has been the wrong thing to do from beginning to end.  
\- Worried boyfriend might throw computer chair at me, leave.  
\- Worried boyfriend might leave, worried asking him to stay will come across wrong, actually I can’t even remember what the hell I did next besides go take a shower. Your version of this part says “Deimos implodes” so perhaps my part is “Praxis explodes.”  
\- Get out of shower, put on clothes, go look out front window to make sure your car is still outside. (Whew!)  
\- Find you in the office again, less all-caps screaming at me to go away this time! :)  
\- Except you still seem wary of me, so … confused.  
\- Watch you on your phone, happily texting whoever isn’t me standing there freaking you out.  
\- Concerned what might be found to throw at me if I do not leave, offer instead to leave.  
\- Runaway and hide ;)  
\- Get text from you! :) Except … you want to leave :C  
\- Understand why, so, not mad… but, sad, because I like you, and wanted to hang out with you IRL, because IRL you is confusing (but I like being confused by IRL you). More explosion of worry, not sure how to convince you to stay or even if I should, start feeling bad all over again for last time you came to stay at my house… etc etc.  
\- Watch all your texts arrive and have no idea what to say. Say stupid stuff anyway, confusion intensifies.    
\- Revert to apologize and explain mode to lure boyfriend into staying.  
\- Wisely decide to abandon earlier matchmaking plan, put boyfriend on one end of house and tell Aidan to stay away. Aidan continues to have a lack of interest, but is curious if I still plan to go out to the club later. (Future Marcus will discover his roommate has money riding on this actually happening).  
\- Return to find you on my bed with your sketchbook, drawing.  
\- Unsure what to do, stand there and ask you, get only shrugging and become confused again, not sure what a shrug means.  
\- Receive text from you indicating you have chosen “drink and draw” for your activity, apparently we are pre-gaming, which I learned after New Year’s means to drink before going to a place where more drinking occurs …  
\- Go along with chosen activity. Increasingly worried and confused, thinking about everything but no idea what to do about anything and trying not to think too much so I won’t look angry and scare you into thinking I’m really mad...  
\- Tell Aidan maybe going out is a bad idea, maybe we won’t go, maybe I won’t go, have no idea what I’m doing yet … (I guess this is my version of a spazz-circle?)  
\- Order pizza, drink some, watch you drink a lot, realize I am getting into something I have no idea how to handle, worried about literally losing you at the club (Don’t ask, I just worry about stuff), worried about trying to dance, why did I invite Aidan, why did I tell Aidan I was going, so many people are going to want to say hello to you because I told Aidan my plans, realize I am in way over my head, no idea what to do… Decide to do nothing about any of this.  
\- Decide to ask Aidan for advice.  
\- Regret asking Aidan for advice.  
\- Concerned/worried/over-thinking everything, so, decide you want me to leave you alone.  
\- Try to leave quickly before things are thrown at me.  
\- Hear noise behind me, realize it’s you snapping your fingers.  
\- No idea what to do. Accept empty beer can. Leave, original plan was to leave, decide to stick with that plan.  
\- Repeat poor choices by asking Aidan for advice.  
\- Decide never to talk to Aidan again. (Immediately regret this choice, double-back to apologize and explain, remember why I let him live with me in the first place besides smaller mortgage payments)  
\- Return to find you crying.  
\- Continued lack of knowing what to do, decide leaving is still the best plan.  
\- Decide to leave beer as peace offering because ???  
\- Get phone, check email. Decide to try luring you online to ask wtf if I should do because desperate and confused and out of ideas and receiving bad advice from Aidan.  
\- Ask “Are you online?” and add a smiley face because I am a dork I don’t know. This email is hard to write and I’m tired of writing it. (Dreading it really)  
\- Receive back, in order:

  1. no
  2. but I stopped crying
  3. yyaaaay?
  4. bring me cheese i have whine?
  5. lied no wine here just me
  6. mopey drunk me blububub
  7. :c ilu
  8. sorry



\- My responses, in order, that tragically suffered backspace death before they could even make it onto the screen:

  1. Oh, Okay! Well, I am online if you want to talk :)
  2. Aw, I’m glad! Why were you crying though? Is everything okay?
  3. Haha, yay!
  4. Okay, I’ll bring you cheese :)
  5. That’s okay, I like you! :)
  6. Aw, what’s wrong? Too many feels? ;)
  7. (I had to look up what ‘ilu’ stood for. I’m actually glad I didn’t have to think up a response to this one!)
  8. Don’t apologize! I’m sorry, too.



\- So if you distill my response down you get what I really sent, which is “OK!” (Because everything is okay on a high-level overview when it comes to me with you, since I like you so much!)  
\- Decide to sacrifice proper grammar and spelling in order to catch up with you.  
\- Relieved to get a text back from you.  
\- More texts, sudden noise! Was that something breaking??  
\- Abandon everything to save boyfriend.  
\- Find you trying to escape through the headboard, unable to find threat, realize you have thrown your phone, realize you have broken your phone, realize the mirror is cracked, realize I know exactly what to do about about this at least thank God.  
\- Implement plan to fix broken phone.  
\- Realize plan is working.  
\- Get stuck on above two steps, unable to think of further actions, so… stick with what is working.  
\- Suddenly boyfriend is crying, continue to focus on the broken phone since I can fix it.  
\- More things are broken than just the phone, but, don’t care they are broken so explain that. Over explain, excessive thought-sharing, please stop crying :C  
\- Success! Continue with plan!  
\- Attempt to hug boyfriend, since he is only armed with tissues and I’m reasonably certain I can handle having tissues thrown at me.  
\- Receive hug and a kiss! Unexpected!  
\- Plan was too successful! Back to not knowing what to do, because plan only went as far as “comfort crying boyfriend until successful”  
\- Decide to return hug and kiss (seems safe enough…)  
\- Kissing escalates.  
\- Am way too sober for this, do not know what to do, decide to ask you.  
\- Ask if you want to go to the club.  
\- Receive shrug.  
\- Ask if you want me to go into the office so we can chat.  
\- Receive shrug, am lured by more kisses.  
\- Ask if you want to have sex.  
\- Receive shrug.  
\- Decide to leave, but ask if you want me to stay after apologizing and explaining.  
\- Receive shrug.  
\- Take pillow, tell Aidan to leave without us, tell him just to leave, give him $20 to leave.  
\- Try to remember Christmas better, try to remember if you nodded, try to look through my text history but it only goes back three weeks, freak out for a bit.  
\- Decide to go ask you. Obviously I am not thinking clearly at this point.  
\- Find you crying.  
\- Terrified. Loop through apologies and explanations.  
\- Ask if you are okay.  
\- Receive shrug.  
\- Decide everyone involved needs less of this and more sleeping, convince you this is an excellent plan through an elaborate scheme of smiling and asking nicely.  
\- Return to living room.  
\- Stare at ceiling for hours.  
\- Wake up and have a wonderful day hanging out with my boyfriend despite all of the above being very worrisome and confusing for me.  
So there you have it. That’s my version of events. I’m going to send this before I break my backspace key.  
Talk to you later :)

  


Marcus pushed back from his computer chair and snagged his empty coffee mug on the way out of the office. In the hall he heard Aidan’s voice drifting through his closed bedroom door, and Marcus checked the time on his phone out of habit. Which was the only reason why he was standing outside Aidan’s bedroom door, it wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. And Aidan’s voice tended to carry, especially when he got excited like this.

“--right! No, I know. But, like, here comes Marcus suddenly with this determined look in his eye. Oh, my God, you should have seen him. Like a man on the warpath. He comes right up to me and is like--”

Marcus could imagine all-too well the sudden intake of breath where Aidan would puff up his chest and try to stretch for the differences in their vocal ranges like he did the differences in their heights.

“--’Aidan, let me borrow your laptop.’ And I’m like, fuck off, what the fuck, you have a computer leave mine alone. This is the best part, get ready, he looks me dead in the eye and says, ‘I need it to get laid.’”

Riotous laughter burst forth. Aidan continued through gasps, “No, it’s true! Swear to God! Of course I let him borrow it, are you fucking kidding me?”

That booming voice of his carried just as well through a closed bedroom door as it did the shipyard, and Marcus used it without thinking. “Aidan! I told you not to repeat that!”

And then he had the door open, the knob in his hand, even though it’d been closed and he never opened Aidan’s door without knocking first.

“Holy fucking shit!” Aidan yelped and bolted up from his desk. The cord on his wired headset caught, yanking curls one way as he went the other, and Aidan flailed to get the two separated. “Jesus Christ! Oh my God!”

Mingled into Aidan’s excessive overreaction came the sudden flurry of his computer audio switching from headphones to speakers. “--happened? You okay?” The concern seemed limited to only one voice, still laughing, so at least Aidan hadn’t been running his mouth to an entire gaming server.

“Is that Ethan?” Marcus demanded.

“Yes! Fuck, it’s just Ethan!” Aidan shoved the cord back into his speakers, silencing the continued sound of amused mockery. “Brb,” he said into the mic, before tossing the headset atop his keyboard.

“I told you not to repeat that,” Marcus said. Almost like an echo, he heard the teeth-gritted, furious snarl of the words. He kept a stranglehold on the doorknob to avoid getting his hands around Aidan’s neck instead. “I only said that so you’d do it. I don’t want you repeating it.”

Aidan’s tone turned simpering to whine his excuse. “I didn’t think you meant Ethan. It’s a funny story, Marcus, and who is he going to tell? I told him it was a secret.”

“I told you it was a secret!”

Aidan bit his lip.

“Don’t,” Marcus snapped.

More pouting filled Aidan’s round, innocent face of pure manipulative evil. Moisture began to collect in the corners.

“Don’t you dare, don’t you dare --” Marcus let go of the doorknob and took a step of retreat into the hall. “Stop it, Aidan.”

“But you yelled at me. It was scary,” he whimpered.  

“I’ll murder you next time,” Marcus growled. “See how scary that is.” He jerked the door closed before Aidan could wrangle an apology out of him.

“You’ll go to jail!” Aidan shouted. “You’ll be the first suspect! Means, opportunity, motive! All point to you!”

Marcus thumped his palm against the wall on the way to the living room, just to let Aidan know they weren’t done yet. He busied himself in the kitchen instead, attacking the dirty dishes and scrubbing the counters until he no longer quite so desperately wanted to throttle sense into Aidan.

A cheery, poorly digitized melody started up in his pocket, and Marcus got his phone out expecting to see one of his sisters’ names on the display. Instead it was Aleks, which couldn’t be a good thing.

“He-- hey.” The universal _hello?_ wasn’t a yes-no question. Marcus nearly opened with it. His fumbled recovery did not sound smooth, but he bravely forged forward with, “Did you get --”

A small series of continuous beeps interrupted him. Marcus pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at the screen as if that might help him understand. As he watched, the call ended, but his phone switched into text notification beeps instead.

 

 

_(Aleks)  
WHERE ARE YOU  
(Aleks)  
GET ONLINE  >:C _

 

 

 

Marcus stared at his phone. Apparently Aleks had gotten his email. He sent back a quick _OK_ , even though Aleks knew he had his phone in hand. He’d just called to make sure. Nothing good waited for him back at his computer, but Marcus went anyway. He typed his email password with a deafening series of keyboard clicks. Almost immediately the chat box popped up with one furious message followed by _Deimos is typing_ to let Marcus know to expect more.

 

 

  
Deimos: WHAT IS THIS WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH SENDING ME THIS  
WHY WOULD YOU SEND ME THIS  
WHAT IS THIS  
EXPLAIN >:CC

Praxis: I don’t know!  
Stop!

Deimos: NOOOOOOOOOOOO  
cant stop help circling why why why  
why you send me this why

Praxis: Send what??

Deimos: sdfghjkl  
this email you sent why why why

Praxis: About Friday?  
I said I wasn’t mad!  
I’m not mad!  
_Sent at 5:48 PM on Sunday_  
Praxis: Aleks?

Deimos: ok  
okay  
you seem confused

Praxis: Yes  
Yes I am very confused.

Deimos: ok  
i am being weird :c sorry  
_Sent at 5:55 PM on Sunday_

Praxis: Is it okay to say that I like that you’re weird? I’m just very confused. I don’t know why you are upset.  
Or, I do, you are upset because of the email I sent.  
But I’m not mad about what happened.

Deimos: do you hate me?

Praxis: Promise I don’t hate you.

Deimos: ok <3  
that was it you can go now sorry  
_Sent at 6:01 PM on Sunday_

  


As Marcus stared at the blinking cursor, he felt both relieved and frustrated that Aleks wasn’t watching him type. More frustrated than relieved, until he didn’t feel relieved at all. He knew he needed to type something. He’d let the conversation lapse long enough for the chat system to time stamp it, like they were done talking, even though Marcus wasn’t even sure yet what he needed to apologize for.

  


Praxis: Okay. But, I’d like to stay if that’s okay with you. I want to know why you’re upset.  
Can we talk about this?

Deimos: idk  
ok  
but no  
idk  
:c

Praxis: I could put a smiley face at the end of each sentence for you, so you’ll know I’m really not mad about anything. It’s kind of the same as getting to look at IRL me :)

Deimos: its nothing like getting to look at you  
IRL you is better looking  
but I’m really fond of those silly smiley faces so ok

Praxis: Okay :)

Deimos: um ok, your version of events is awful  
idk why you didnt throw me out of the house  
or at least out of your bed omg you can just like fold me up and stick me in a dresser drawer why would you leave me this huge bed and go cram yourself on tiny sofa

Praxis: I want to say it wasn’t awful, but it kind of was I guess.  
But that’s okay :)

Deimos: pfft  
you  
ok  
well that makes sense  
just don’t say “I like awful” bc I don’t! do not want! no repeat!

Praxis: Agreed! And, I don’t think we will, because now I know more about the care and keeping of my Deimos :)

Deimos: ok stop it  
thats too much  
I am mad at you boyfriend but thats ok too I forgive you

Praxis: You’re mad at me?  
What did I do?

Deimos: nothing  
but that is ok

Praxis: You’re mad at me for nothing??  
Do I apologize for nothing then? ;)

Deimos: NO  
NO CUTE JOKES  
>:C

Praxis: Well, I’m not sure what else to do.  
Sorry  
Only a question because I’m not sure what to be sorry about. In general though, I’m sorry.

Deimos: NO  
>:C

Praxis: ???

Deimos: omg tatiana bit my face lol kityy no stop tears not food

Praxis: Okay I’m looking at my email.  
Are you crying??

Deimos: yes  
furious tears  
of terror bc BOY FRIEN D WHAT YOU DO  
7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777  
777777777777777777777777777777777 WHY  
wYHYHWHWWHHYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyy  
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Praxis: Should I start looking up schematics for a time machine??  
Aleks I have no idea what I did wrong or what I said wrong, but I’m really sorry.

Deimos: 7!  
7 why why 7 why boyfriend why

Praxis: 7?  
7 o’ clock? What happened at 7?  
I don’t remember the timestamps  
IRL doesn’t timestamp

Deimos: “I had to look up what ‘ilu’ stood for. I’m actually glad I didn’t have to think up a response to this one!”  
7  
7y7y7y7y7yy7y7y7y7y7y7y7y7yy77y7y7y7y7y7y7y77777777777777yyyyyyyyyyyy!!!  
_Sent at 6:21 PM on Sunday_

Praxis: Okay.  
Okay, thinking.  
Please don’t panic  
Please stop crying  
I am so sorry  
_Sent at 6:24 PM on Sunda_ y  
Praxis: Continuing to be sorry.  
Aleks I can’t think of anything except I’m sorry. I could keep typing that over and over. Would a million be okay?

Deimos: NO >:C  
EXPLAIN

Praxis: I’m not sure I can? I’m sorry  
Let me think?  
Can I email it to you?

Deimos: nkdfngiandfkdsnf’

Praxis: … no? Is that no?

 _Deimos is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Deimos comes online_.

  


With no one around to hear him, Marcus voiced his frustration with a single definitely-angry, “Fuck!”

He pushed back his chair and pushed his fingers into his hair. The snag of the eye patch string drew the gesture up short, and it did not make him happier. On the contrary, in fact, it seemed insult to injury. Running his fingers through his hair was something he liked to do, and now he always worried about knocking the eye patch loose.

Thinking of what to do sent him around in circles. even though Marcus just sat in his computer chair, head in hands. Metaphorical circles, spazz-circles, as Aleks described them. God only knew what Aleks was doing, three hours away when Marcus had work in the morning and needed to be asleep in three hours. Even assuming a reckless drive worked out in his favor, no guarantee he’d be able to squeeze it all in.

His gut instinct was to go ask Aidan, because this involved both time management -- something Aidan excelled at -- and a relationship… something that Aidan at least had more experience with, compared to him. Unfortunately he was in the middle of deciding never to speak to Aidan again, after catching him gossiping.

Marcus scrolled through his phone contacts and looked briefly at the computer clock before deciding to risk it.

“Hello?”

No screaming in the background, that was good. “Hey, sis.”

“Oh, hey,” Julia said. “I’m about to wrangle the girls for bed, what’s up?’

“Um.” Marcus should have thought of a lead-in excuse before calling. Now it would seem urgent, when he wanted to seem casual. “Never mind. I, uh, had a question about something, but, I don’t want to interrupt your dinner. I can just ask you later.”

“Oh, are you sure?”

Her voice carried the drifting, distracted warning that almost her entire attention was focused on something else. Since Marcus still couldn’t hear screaming, he imagined his sister at the kitchen window watching the girls crawl all over their playhouse in the backyard. Since it was January, it seemed more likely she was flipping through a magazine or trying to watch the muted television, since he’d know if it was unmuted.

“Yeah,” Marcus said. “Yeah. Um, that was it. I’ll talk to you later.” He needed to get her off the phone now, before she remembered to ask how things went with Aleks.

“Later,” said his twin. He almost expected the rhythmic punctuation of gum chewing on the casual send-off, even though it’d been years since she stopped the habit.

Marcus hung up and then went for option two, now that he’d thought up a good excuse. Unfortunately his call went to voicemail. Marcus faced the terrible indecision now of going to his last resort -- Aidan -- or forging ahead on his own. No way he was calling his fifteen-year-old baby sister for advice on this, not if he ever wanted to hear the end of it.

That did leave him one sister, if he’d blown his opportunity with Julia and gotten Stef’s voicemail. Did Deborah date? Marcus tried to think if she’d ever mentioned any boys at school. He’d need to ask. Or bribe Bridget into telling him, which was probably the faster method, but he’d give Deborah a chance to confess first.

None of this was getting him any closer to a plan for handling the unfolded clusterfuck still stretched across his screen. Marcus sighed and checked his messages, even if he hadn’t heard a beep from his phone. Would sending something prompt Aleks to throw his phone again?

An email notifications arrived as Marcus was still staring at his phone trying to think of what to do. He almost started to check on his phone before remembering to simply look up at the computer monitor. The email was from Aleks.

Forwarded, from Aleks, specifically, the infamous Hump Day email he’d received a flurry of pleas to delete without reading. Marcus kept his hands on his phone. He didn’t dare reach for his computer mouse. This seemed entirely too much like a trap, even before the chat box started to fill.

  


Deimos: fine  
ok  
fine  
fine if your goung to hate me then hate me right  
here  
have it all  
i sent it  
read it  
hate me  
miojfk,g;’d.g;s.lfmakwkf

Praxis: Wait

 _Deimos is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Deimos comes online_.

 

 

  
Only on the second ring did Marcus realize he had no idea what his lead-in was going to be. Maybe he’d think of one before Aleks answered. On the third ring, Marcus fully comprehended the futility of what he was attempting. The fourth ring clicked at the end in tell-tale of switching to voicemail, or so Marcus thought, and he nearly hung up before realizing Aleks had, in fact, actually answered the phone.

The fact that Marcus expected a _hello?_ just proved how much he was in over his head. He got fast-paced hitched breathing instead, the distinct sound of furious sobbing.

His lead-in ended up being, “Don’t hang up! Don’t -- just, wait, let me explain, let me explain, I didn’t know if you meant it, because, on your blog you - you say that to the girls you chat with, so, I didn’t know what to say back to something like that and -- I’m, fuck!”

Lying there with his head on his desk, Marcus wondered if Aleks heard the hard thwack he’d just made. He was never going to convince Aleks now that he wasn’t angry, but he could still hear the frustration in that last final word -- a definitely-angry _fuck_.

A single beep answered him. One small beep.

Marcus suddenly understood completely why Aleks had thrown his phone, because he wanted to do the same. “I have no idea what that means,” he said. It came out as a groan, maybe a growl, and then Marcus lifted his head. Furious lines of text filled the screen.

 

 

 

Deimos: OOOOOOMMMMMGGGGGGGG OOMG OMG OGM GNOO GEGSG N STOP COME HEE CO  
BOYFRIEEEHNHFD COME HERE COME HEE COMGERE!!!  
NNNOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOO  
BOYFRRIEENSS NOOOOOOOOOO DRIUHNT O@@!@!!!!! NOO OMG!

Praxis: OU KJH!  
OK!  
OK!  
<3!

Deimos: <#!!  
<##!!  
,, ,rget3 1  
<3!

Praxis: Okay. I’m going to hang up.

Deimos: i will type slow  
bc drunk

Praxis: Okay. I am sorry.  
ALSO Backspacing! Aleks, why are you drunk! How much did you drink?  
Are you okay?

Deimos: yes  
wait  
in order  
bc sad  
much  
yes  
:)

Praxis: Okay. I wrote that email without thinking.  
Or at least, I tried to just write what I was actually thinking, rather than edit it a lot.  
If that makes sense.

Deimos: yes <3  
ty  
sorry :c

Praxis: It’s okay. Or, I’m very sorry too

Deimos: okay less sad more typing  
hello  
your Deimos is stabilizing

Praxis: Oh thank god

Deimos: he h <3 sorry still drunk so  
did you read my email?

Praxis: Oh. Not yet. Should I?

Deimos: aashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrdgsaahhhhh  
aahh idktu idk  
idk

Praxis: ok!  
Okay. Okay. I won’t then. Or, when you  
Argh  
Okay.

Deimos: later?

Praxis: yes!  
Yes. Later, tomorrow.

Deimos: yes  
ok  
bed now

Praxis: Okay.

  
_Deimos is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Deimos comes online_.


	25. Chapter 25

Door knob in hand before he was even thinking about it, shoving the door open without even shouting through it first. “Aidan, I need your help.”

“Holy shit!” This time the reaction didn’t seem excessive or an overreaction. He spiraled back from his desk, the headset cord yanking out to emit a familiar breathy voice.

“-- Aidan? God, that better be Marcus again and not someone --”

“I’m sorry!” Marcus let go of the doorknob and stuffed his fingers into his hair instead, not caring if he knocked the eye patch off. “Tell Ethan to fuck off, I need you to come help me make sense of this.”

“Jesus fucking -- I can’t even -- oh my GOD!” Aidan shrieked from the floor. “I hit my goddamn head!” He rubbed at the back of it as he got untangled from both his desk chair and the side of his bed. Half the blankets dragged to the floor as he clawed his way upright. Aidan kicked his desk chair away in a huff. The headset suffered further as he snatched it up. “Brb,” he snapped. He knocked the speaker over trying to shove the audio jack into it.

By the time his fury rounded on Marcus, the rest of him was starting to round out as well. The hard lines at his mouth softened. “What did you do this time?”

“I didn’t mean to,” Marcus said.

“No shit.” Aidan sighed and set a hand against his arm. After a bit of him leaning there, Marcus stepped back into the hall. Aidan followed and closed the door behind him.

“Aleks wanted to know what happened Friday, so, I wrote an email to tell him. And, on Friday, that text with the ‘eye-ell-you’ I think he actually did mean, ‘I love you,’ so, but -- I didn’t know that!”

“Okay,” Aidan said. “Okay, so. Fuck. Okay.”

“Okay,” Marcus echoed.

They stood in the hallway thinking it over for a moment, each leaned into opposite sides of the wall. Marcus thought to smooth down his hair and adjust the eye path. Aidan swirled a finger into one of his curls, tousling it all the worse even after suffering his headset all day.

“So, okay, he meant it. Please tell me you didn’t brb him.”

“I didn’t. Or, no, he said he was going to bed. We stopped chatting.” Marcus only then thought to check the time. Aidan mimicked him, they reached into respective pockets for their phones like a mirror had been set between them. A carnival mirror for the differences between them, but they’d so far managed over two years of living together without the cops getting called. Guys at work had already paid up for lost bets on short odds.

“It’s early,” Marcus said. “For him this is way too early. But he also said he was drunk, so he could be tired.”

“Okay,” said Aidan. “Or just in bed. You said he likes beds.”

“I said -- okay.” Marcus shot him a glare from the short distance between them -- a long downward lean that turned looming if he didn’t keep his head flat against the wall. “Fine. Yes, he uses his bed like a desk or table or, it’s about the only solid piece of furniture he has in that place, so. He would only say it like that if he meant going to sleep.”

“Or just wanted to stop talking to you,” Aidan said. “But, fine. Whatever. You have time to think about it. Why else are you freaking out?”

“He sent me that email. The one I deleted, he forwarded it to me out of his sent box.”

Neither of them spoke after that, for long enough that they both thought to check their phones. Marcus needing to keep track of Aleks, Aidan not wanting to miss work.

“Well,” said Aidan. He kept his phone out but only to better keep an eye on the time. “Let’s think about it. Do you love him?”

“I don’t know,” Marcus said. “Maybe. Probably. I don't know.”

“Okay. And you think he loves you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. He sent that attachment with the same acronym in it to me. I looked through everything else and that was the only time. So. Maybe. Do less-than-three hearts count? He’s been sending me those since Thanksgiving.” Marcus lifted his head from the wall to look at Aidan, more wilted than looming this time. “What do I do? Do I apologize? Do I read that email first? There’s something awful in it.”

“I know,” said Aidan. “You are a fucking lunatic that this is even an issue. I would have ripped into that thing the moment it landed in my inbox. The fact you even deleted it and then emptied your trash so I wouldn't read it. Jesus, Marcus. No wonder.”

“Stop it,” growled Marcus. “No teasing.”

“I won’t,” Aidan said. He held his hands up. “I’m not. Hey, come on. I love you. See? How fucking easy is that.”

“You love everything.”

“I do not. I hate parking tickets. And … I don’t know. I was going to say mean people, but, you’re kind of a jerk and I still love you, so.”

Marcus chuckled and eased off his lean from the wall. “Well, I’m not going to read it. I told him I wouldn’t. Or, I said I would read it later. I think.”

“Wait, what did you say?” Aidan asked him. And then, when Marcus just stared at him, Aidan asked again -- “What did you say?”

“I don’t remember.”

Aidan stared at him a moment longer and then leaned up on his toes suddenly, getting closer to Marcus’ face as if reaching for the top shelf in a cabinet. A suspicious look crossed Aidan’s round, wholesome lie of a face before he eased back down and said, “Huh. Okay? Really? Like, didn’t this just happen?”

“No, it did. It did. Here, just -- it’s still on the screen.” Marcus turned and led the way into the office. He sat at the chair and let Aidan lean into the blind spot, right up close to get a better look at the screen. He brought the chat box in front of his practically-praxis email account’s inbox, carefully making sure first that none of the emails showing had unusual or noteworthy subject lines -- except the one at the top, still unread, with only a little of the message body showing.

 

 **Deimos**         **Hump Day!** \- Teehee it’s wednesdaay 3am I know we aledy chatted tonight (last night?) but I’m awake still because omg I am so str

 

“Okay.” Aidan leaned into him to get at the mouse. The cursor veered immediately toward the unread email.

Marcus shoved Aidan’s hand. “Click on it, and I will --”

“Fine,” huffed Aidan. “You are unreal. Just unreal. All that time we spent staring at it last time, you still haven’t read it.” He quieted as his eyes scanned the last few messages showing in the chat box. A soft huff of laughter escaped him. “This doesn’t sound like you.”

“I was in a hurry,” Marcus said.

“Can I read the rest?” Aidan asked. “I won’t look at the email, promise.”

“Yeah,” said Marcus. “Um, not too far. Don’t go past where it ends, when he signed off this morning. You can’t read what’s above that.”

“‘kay.” Aidan had his eyes locked on the screen, both round orbs flicking furiously back and forth as he scrolled steadily upward. Marcus had no idea how he made sense of reading it reverse, but Aidan never seemed to have trouble keeping up. He ran on Martian time, opposite of Marcus, same as Aleks.

“Well?” Marcus asked impatiently.

“You both sound drunk. Or, he’s drunk -- you just sound stupid,” Aidan said bluntly. “What is wrong with you? You are making him suffer all night wondering if you secretly are reading that email, you know. Because literally every other man on the planet would have read it by now.”

“Oh.”

“And furthermore, you still didn’t explain what you meant in your email -- the whole reason he blew up at you in the first place -- Jesus, Marcus, I have to go to work. I can’t even begin to tell you all the ways in which you fucked this up.” Aidan leaned back from the desk and disappeared further into where Marcus remembered being able to see. He had to lean back in the chair and turn to bring Aidan back into view.

“What do I do? Apologize?” Marcus went for his phone but only managed sliding open the keyboard. He looked up at Aidan. “What if he starts to text back? What if he throws his phone? Maybe I’ll call him.” He already had the phone to his ear.

“Jesus fuck, Marcus.” Aidan reached out and slapped the phone away from his head. He caught quite a bit of Marcus’ ear the same time, although it seemed mostly accidental and hurt about as much as expected. The furious tirade continued, “What is wrong with you? Calling him? Fucking calling him?”

“He answered last time I called him --” Marcus shoved the chair clear as he knelt to get under the desk for his phone. “The call’s still going!”

Aidan fell over his back. “No! Hang up!”

Marcus’ hand closed over the phone despite nearly all of Aidan dangling from his shoulder in an attempt to yank him away. Marcus smacked his head on the underside of the desk as he wedged the phone up to his ear. He desperately hoped his rough-voiced, “Dammit!” due to hitting the desk didn’t get heard by Aleks.

The automated voice of Aleks’ mobile carrier’s default message reading out numbers seemed strangely reassuring, only until Marcus realized what it meant. “He didn’t answer.”

“Yeah, no fucking shit.” Aidan clambered off him now that the damage was done. He stood clear while Marcus awkwardly un-wedged himself from under the heavy wood desk. “What did you expect Marcus? He doesn’t fucking talk, remember? Ever, according to you, or --”

“I said I don’t know.” Marcus scratched where he’d hit his head. He felt only hair, his scalp, occasionally the tension of the eye patch string. “I don’t know why, or when it started, or if he’s always been like this or if he is always like this, to everyone, but it seems that way. It has to be.”

From Aidan came a snarling kittenish fury as he stomped for the door. “This is such bullshit that I have work! Tell me the rest later, or, I’ll bluetooth you in my car maybe. Are you staying up?”

“I think I’ll drive there.” Marcus was already following Aidan to the door. “It’s three up, three down on average only. I can maybe do five total if I hurry. I’d have enough time to nap before work.”

Aidan tried to block him at the door. Marcus was reluctant to move him, so he stopped with a hand over his roommate’s head. He braced into the doorframe, intentionally looming over someone no taller than one of his sisters. “I’m going,” he said. “Move.”

“You are not,” Aidan said. “And I will not. You have work in --”

“Nine, I have nine hours until I need to be at work. Even if I do three there and three back that leaves me plenty of time to convince Aleks that - that - fuck, that email! What do you think is in it?”

“Just go read it, oh my God!” shrieked Aidan. He punctuated this when a hard stomp of his foot. Marcus had no real way of knowing if his aim was intentional, but it stung. He shoved his hand into Aidan’s back and sent him sprawling into the hall.

“CPS!” Aidan stayed a limp obstacle for Marcus to try getting around if he wanted further down the hallway. “911! Fuck you! Jesus, you lunatic. If you don’t get there and tell him you love him, I will straight up set this house on fire. Also, I am calling in sick and driving you.”

“What?” Marcus felt his brow melt out of a furious glare from trying to think about the best path around Aidan. He wasn’t about to step anywhere near his roommate’s hands nor feet. “What? No. Go to work.”

“No. Hell no. You are not driving there anyway starting this late. When did you get up?”

“Uh.” Marcus turned his head toward his computer without seeing it, forgetting once again where to even put his head. “Seven-forty-ish?” The actual answer would be in his chat logs.

“And when did you go to sleep?”

“Um.” Marcus started to move toward the computer before remembering why he was even being asked these questions. “Early. I got enough sleep last night. I’m not tired. I told you, Aleks fell asleep while we were chatting last night. We didn’t defile your laptop.”

“Like you did my bed.”

Marcus turned his head to find Aidan standing in the hall, hands braced into the wall on either side. He knew better than to start fighting with Aidan, but then again he wasn’t the one obstructing the fucking hallway. “I bought you a new bed.”

“I know. Goddamit, you’re impossible be mad at. Don’t murder me on the way to the car, but, for fuck’s sake Marcus I am driving you if you’re going.”

“You have work.”

“Argh!” Aidan charged toward him. Marcus flinched back with his arm up without thinking -- or rather, thinking of flying purses and wildly swinging slaps from tiny sisters barely half his size. Unfortunately his gut reaction made him easier for Aidan to grab. He got both arms wrapped around Marcus’ lifted forearm.

“Get off me.” Marcus pulled his arm back, taking Aidan with him. “I can drive just fine at night now, it’s fine!”

“Don’t make this all about your eye, goddammit, that’s cheating!” Aidan barreled into him to no effect, other than making it impossible for Marcus to clear the hallway. His arms wrapped around Marcus’ chest. “I hate you. There, I said it, I hate you forever. You are such a jerk. Fine. But I will at least be late for work and tell you some of the ways in which you fucked up.”

“Really?”

“No, because I hate you --” Aidan shoved him, or rather, shoved back from him. Marcus stayed in place. Aidan put arm’s length between them. “Fine. Let’s review. Aleks, is nervous. He is terrified -- of everything, from the sound of it. What was his version of the frowny-face ‘eye-ell-you’ text again?”

“‘ell-oh-ell, please come back, please don’t hate me, frowny-face jay-kay’” Marcus said. “That was his version.”

“And your response?”

“I said I had to look up what ‘eye-ell-you’ meant, and that I was glad I didn’t have to think of a response to that particular text.”

Aidan shook his head and muttered under his breath.

“I know,” said Marcus. “In retrospect, I get it, that was dumb.”

“Understatement.”

“I know, but, okay. I told him it was okay. We swapped less-than-three hearts.”

“But you didn’t read the fucking email, you idiot. Of course you heart him right now, you don’t know what terrible thing he’s been trying desperately to tell you. How are you not jumping all over this kind of honesty? Doesn’t that get you all big and hard? Go read it, right now, and then for fuck’s sake if it pisses you off then I’m on standby to light this fucker up but please don’t say anything to him about it. Not without, I don’t know -- at least sleep on it. Don’t drive there, that’s completely insane. You are the craziest internet stalker ever.”

“I am not.” Their positions switched, so that Marcus was the one suddenly blocking the hallway. It wasn’t more than an adjustment of their bodies, Marcus stepping backward while Aidan’s arms crossed.

Aidan’s round eyes went rounder, his head tilting to the side some. “You kind of are, Marcus. Like, love you, but you kind of are. It’s tragic. You are in way too deep on this one. I’m not even sure I can help you. It seems almost -- I don’t know. Unethical. Someone should warn Aleks.”

Marcus felt behind him until he found the office door. He pulled it all the way closed. “What are you doing? What -- is that, a threat?”

Aidan shrugged. “Maybe. No. I don’t know. You’re doomed. That’s my advice. Come clean or give up. If he sent you that email twice it means he wants you to read it and then not hate him for whatever the fuck’s inside it. Same as I bet you’d feel a lot better if he saw that Deimos folder you’ll murder me for looking inside of. I ought to do you both a favor and send him a copy.”

Marcus got two steps forward before Aidan realized he was serious and started scrambling for cover. He turned for clearance into either the living room or kitchen, but it didn’t matter when Marcus tackled him down across the entry instead.

“You wouldn’t!” He shouted like he needed the entire shipyard to pay attention to him.

Aidan yelped back a frantic, “I won’t! Holy shit!”

Marcus kept going, hands clenched into the front of Aidan’s shirt. “I can’t believe you told Ethan about what I said! I told you not to tell anyone!” Pausing in between breaths reminded Marcus to let go of Aidan. Getting stared at reminded him to let Aidan up from the floor.

“Jesus! I’m sorry!” Aidan rose only as far as sitting. He rested his arms across his knees and tilted his head back for the effort of looking up at Marcus. “I’m sorry. Really. You’re right. I’m sorry, but, it’s funny! I wasn’t making fun of you. It’s just a funny story. It’s cute-funny, Marcus. It’s cute. I’m sorry. I just thought it was funny.”

“It’s not funny,” Marcus said. “It’s not funny, okay? I had to borrow your laptop to talk to Aleks. That’s the only way I get to interact with him, so how the hell is that going to get me laid? I told you, okay, he shrugged. Okay? Shrugged. I get shrugs from him. And I have no idea if I fucked up at Christmas or if I can trust my memory or what he says -- I almost wish I had video or --”

“Okay. Calm down.” Aidan hopped to his feet. He grabbed Marcus by the shoulders. “First off, no video surveillance on any part of this house, ever. That is crazy. Secondly, I know you. I know you, Marcus, and there is no way on any planet in this universe or a million others that you date raped some poor shy kid you met off your dumb internet nerd blog. Holy shit, calm down.”

Marcus finally remembered to push Aidan off him now that he had a clear path to the door. He grabbed the knob, Aidan grabbed his other hand. “Marcus, calm down!” A hard yank brought him off the door, successive pushes got him toward the hall. “Email! Remember? You need to read it. Go read it. And, I’ll make sure Ethan doesn’t repeat the story. I won’t repeat it to anyone else. I’m sorry. Promise I won’t slash your tires or rip your battery to keep you here tonight.”

“You wouldn’t.” Marcus remembered in time to turn his head over his right shoulder to watch Aidan shepherd him back down the hallway. “You might?”

“No. Far more likely to hurl myself across your hood. No way you’d drive off with me attached to the car.”

They swapped grins at the doorway to the office. “Sorry to make you late to work,” Marcus said. “I’m sure there’s nothing too bad in that email. You’re right. Aleks worries more than I do.”

“You’re perfect for each other,” Aidan said. He flashed an insincere yet somehow still encouraging smile and crashed his shoulder into Marcus to half hug him, half shove him into the computer chair.

Marcus watched him back out of the office. Only once the door closed did he shout, “Go away!”

“Shut up!” Aidan shouted back from the hall.

Marcus chuckled some and looked to his screen. He minimized the chat box and then looked once more at the broken piece of sentence revealed by the message preview. _omg I am so str_ \-- what? Strained, strayed, stressed, he and Aidan both agreed stressed was the most likely word interrupted, but it took Marcus several minutes of staring to understand the solution,   _stressssssssssssssed._

Another long drawn out smear of lettering drew his attention, _i loooooveeeeeeeeeeee yoooouuuuuuuuuuu_ , followed by nonsense, self-declared banging at the keys. He tried not to look, not to read, but his attention jumped over the words with guilty obsession.


	26. Chapter 26

Aidan caught him at it. Sitting on the living room floor in front of the coffee table, papers strewn everywhere, red pen sticking out of his mouth and highlighter in hand. Marcus turned his head at the sound of the front door opening. He spat out the red pen. He didn’t bother with anything else, because he’d thoroughly been caught and knew it. He’d lost all track of time.

Eventually Aidan remembered to close the door on the cold blast of winter morning trying to invade the house. He stood there staring, bundled into his coat and red-cheeked from the cold, work clothes underneath. Exhaustion pulled his expression beneath the slow-crawling realization of just what he’d walked into the middle of.

“Holy shit,” said Aidan.

“Go away,” muttered Marcus.

Aidan ignored him, coming over for a better look. “Is this everything?”

“Yeah.” Marcus looked down at the string of typo-laden text he’d just highlighted. “I stole a printer cartridge from you.”

“Cool.” Aidan stepped around a spread of papers. “Or, not cool, but, okay. Did … you call into work? Your shift started thirty minutes ago.”

“Yeah. I’m not going.”

“Okay.” Aidan stood there taking in the chaos of printed emails, fanmails, blog posts, and chat logs. Marcus more heard than saw his roommate walk around with the same tiptoed effort of not disturbing the work in progress. A light touch traced over his shoulders, one side to the other, as Aidan crossed behind him. “This is a whole new level, you know, even for you.”

“It was too hard trying to do it on the computer,” Marcus said. “Switching between windows…”

“No. I get it.” Aidan slung his coat onto the arm of the sofa on his way into the kitchen. He kept talking, voice lifting in volume to stretch over the distance. “Did you read that email?”

“Yeah.” Marcus didn’t bother to raise his voice in return. It would either carry or not, and he was more focused on trying to read between the lines on months worth of messages. Almost his entire relationship with Aleks existed on all these printed sheets. A written record of nearly everything they’d said to each other, minus their texts only because Marcus had no way to save them. He hadn’t realized they would disappear from his phone until he tried to go back to the ones from Christmas Eve.

When Aidan’s hand slapped against his shoulder, Marcus looked up from his study of Aleks’ rushed explanation of _omg no not like I was going to text stop as in stop-stop just like I wrote this text to tell you I’d never done anything before so like hey maybe not or something not but then I definitely remember being like oh fuck it at the time but then later I woke up and spazzed because hey that happened, tada! ahah nervous_.

“What?” he asked Aidan.

“I said… Have you been up this whole time? Not actually what I said, just staring at you and realizing how dead you look.” Aidan was, in fact, staring at him. Round, freckled face rather close, although Aidan lifted back as he spoke. Since Marcus was sitting, Aidan got to loom over him for a change.

“Yeah. Couldn’t sleep.” Marcus shrugged. He shuffled a stack of papers to find the one he wanted and brought it closer for inspection.

“So… what was in the email? What’s his terrible secret? I’m guessing it wasn’t that he really can talk and this whole thing has been a really elaborate prank to get back at you for stalking him? Kind of was rooting for that one. Seemed so harmless.” Aidan’s teasing smile faded as Marcus more or less ignored him. “That bad?”

“No… I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure it out.”

Marcus looked out at the explosion of black text dotted and strung along hundreds of pages that comprised their living room. Aidan joined him in staring. Neither of them said anything, and then Aidan went back into the kitchen when the steady drip from the coffee maker ended.

“You’re pushing twenty-four,” Aidan called out to him. “Want a cup?”

“Yeah. I think I might drive there.”

Aidan returned carrying his Ireland mug and looked at Marcus over the rim of it. “Let’s get back to that. I’m more interested in the email. What was in it?”

“Nothing. Everything. I think everything’s wrong,” Marcus said. “I don’t understand any of this.”

“Yeah. Join the fucking party. I’ve been in a continual state of not understanding this since July. I never should have encouraged you. When the cops come interview me, I’m going to probably need a lawyer just to avoid being accessory after the fact.” He blew over the top of his coffee before taking a noisy sip. “I’ll have to tell the reporters you seemed like such a nice guy.”

“Stop it. It’s not funny.”

Aidan’s reply was another noisy slurp. “It’s a little funny. Come on, Marcus. He’s clearly into you. Why are you this stressed?”

“Because I don’t get it. Okay? I just, I don’t. None of this makes sense. I thought I understood it, I thought I knew what I was doing, but I don’t. Obviously, I don’t.” Marcus snatched up one of the papers and shook it at Aidan. “This stupid drunk email he sent me, the worst thing in it is kissing his best friend. That’s it. He freaked out that much over it, so, I have no idea -- does it mean anything? Should I care? He cares. He threw his phone across the room just for mentioning my shitty texting matched his friend’s style. Am I supposed to throw my phone for mentioning you and him are both Martians? He doesn’t want me jealous of his friend, but, should I be jealous? Do I need to be worried?”

Aidan spread his hands in a helpless gesture. “Asking the wrong dude. I have no idea.”

Marcus stared up at his roommate. “Now how am I supposed to tell him you and I dated?”

Coffee nearly went up Aidan’s nose as his next noisy sip got interrupted. He coughed. “Jesus, Marcus. We went on a date. Singular. One date. And, just, tell him. It’s not a big deal.”

“Everything is a big deal!” His voice booming again, even though Aidan stood right in front of him without any walls or doors between them. “Everything is _wrong!"_

“Ooookay,” drawled out Aidan. After a very long, awkward silence in which Marcus felt grateful the lot next to his house sat empty. Probably one of the chief reasons the cops hadn’t gotten called on them yet.

Aidan shrugged slightly, expression winced up in sympathy. “Marcus, I think… Maybe you should sleep on this. You’re at twenty-four, call it quits for today. You always think the worst of everything. I’m sure it’s fine.”

Marcus shook his head again. He started to gather up the papers while keeping their order as best he could. When Aidan offered to help, Marcus pointed him toward the ones spread under the front windows out of reach. “You can put those together. They’re all blog posts, public stuff.”

Aidan set his coffee mug on the carpet as he knelt. For a while they worked in silence except for the soft rustle of paper. “Heh. I remember this one,” Aidan said suddenly. He held it out toward Marcus. “His phone drowning in a pool. You know, if you get married, this should be, like, part of the invitations or something. The ‘how we met’ story.”

“Shut up,” Marcus growled. “Stop it.”

“It’s cute,” Aidan muttered under his breath. He turned away and continued muttering, as if Marcus couldn’t hear him, when in fact they both knew perfectly well that he could. “Fucking internet stalker cute that is.”

Aidan stopped and glanced over to Marcus. He sat back on his heels with the coffee mug. “That’s a good question,” he said suddenly. Without any prompting, so Marcus had to wait to know just what the rest of it was. Three further coffee sips got him the answer, given at the same time Aidan went into the kitchen to get a refill. “Would I be flattered or terrified, in Aleks’ place?”

On his return, Aidan stood by the sofa for a better perspective on the scene. “It definitely looks less psychotic with them stacked, versus spread everywhere, although now I can see just how much there is … Which is good! He knows you. He knows you’re mostly a nice guy. Just … weird.”

“He’s weird,” Marcus said. Only a lack of sleep let the overly defensive, poorly chosen words escape him.

“Oh, yeah,” Aidan agreed. “Oh, yeah, that definitely works in your favor. Okay, so, I’m Aleks. I am the shiest motherfucker on the planet being wooed online by this nice, mild-mannered sci-fi nerd. I’m at the point where shit’s getting real, and I have this terrible secret about myself that I don’t especially like, but, I can’t really do anything about it at this point. I need to be honest, because I’m facing an inevitability, and it’s probably better to come clean voluntarily than get caught. Plus I like this guy a lot, so it’s worth it to me to suffer a little risk now rather than risk everything if it this works out. Except, I don’t want to be honest, ever, because fuck that’s terrifying, it feels like shooting myself in the face for no reason, but not being honest is eating me up inside.”

“Wait, are you saying this as Aleks, or are you me now?” Marcus asked.

Aidan shrugged and took a sip of his coffee. “Like I said. You’re perfect for each other.”

 

 

 

subject: Everything  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>   
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi, Aleks. I think this is officially the hardest email I have ever written you. Maybe that I’ve written in my entire life. I don’t know how else to start it or what to say, so here we go. Here is my confession, to match the one you sent me, because lols and smiley faces aren’t the only things we lied about. I read your email. I want you to explain it, because I don’t even know how I feel yet about what’s inside it. I don’t know how you feel about it, if I should be worried that things aren’t okay. I’m pretty sure I know how you feel about me, because you’re very honest with your feelings. I don’t think I am. I advertised myself as an open book, but I neglected to show you the cover first. Here’s my terrible secret I’m scared you might hate me for knowing.   
I knew you were a guy before I messaged you, or at least I strongly suspected enough that I messaged you wanting to find out for certain. I’m sorry I lied. I guess it’s not really lying, or maybe it is, but it doesn’t feel honest. I should have been honest. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so into you. Aidan’s been teasing me for it, because I really do like you and have for a while just from following your blog. I like all your funny drunk text posts and excited keysmashing, I like your art a lot, and I thought your life sounded interesting. I thought you sounded interesting. I thought you were this kind of wild-child cool art kid out having fun adventures, and then I actually got to know you. I started to read between all the lines. I save all our chats and emails and sometimes I go through them like a total crazy person just too look up what you said about something three months ago. You make jokes about it, but I think I really am an internet stalker. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be. I just liked you. I wanted to get to know you better, and then I did, and that didn’t help at all it just made it worse. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I’m crazy for you. Literally, I have gone completely insane. I also haven’t slept. This email is a mess. It needs more backspaces, but I’m scared if I start trying to clean this up then I’ll just delete everything instead.   
From the top then, trying to keep this orderly:   
\- in July SSC fandom’s favorite Pel/Pri shipper and fanart wonder extraordinaire myshonok-deimos posts about a drowned phone after a pool party  
\- Pathetic lurker of the fandom practically-praxis thinks this post is funny and shows roommate  
\- Roommate interprets story to be about a guy, confusion ensues, definitive answers are sought, obsession takes hold, bets are made, pride at stake, roommate is the devil, this is all his fault somehow, cannot lose, must beat him, furious he’s right but then maybe also glad to be wrong.  
\- Months pass in which I look through your archive for further clues even though I’ve convinced Aidan with the collected evidence and Aidan would like for me to stop talking to him about it    
\- Decide most direct method is best, conceive plan to message you  
\- Chicken out and send anonymous dumb ask  
\- Revert to bad habits and decide to bribe you into speaking to me, ask about commissions  
\- Decide to tempt you with a selfie opportunity, ask about cat (Aidan’s idea)  
\- Finally message you directly, have no idea how to broach subject, terrified  
\- Find you incredibly easy and pleasant to talk to, just as friendly and passionate as your blog posts or messages to bloggers you know a lot better than me, one follower among hundreds (you’re pretty famous in the SSC fandom… I was honestly intimidated messaging you because of that)  
\- Still no idea how to broach subject, decide to out self as guy first to see if that works  
\- Receive drunk fanmail in which I am right, you are a guy, we are both guys, we both like Pel/Pri, obsession intensifies   
\- Suffer accident at work, all prior plans derail as life is suddenly derailed   
\- Message you back after Halloween, try not to feel sorry for self because of above, glad for obsession to serve as distraction from above, confuse friends and family with actions, determination takes hold, temporary insanity occurs, write fanfiction to lure you and then panic about taking responsibility for it. (Hi, I’m Tiberius, I wrote something stupid with the help of my roommate and then considered strangling him in his sleep to keep him silent about it)  
\- Confuse us both by mentioning drunk cleaning fanmail you don’t remember, attempt to clear up said confusion by tried and true method of apologize and explain, plan fails, continue to message you without receiving responses even though you are updating your blog and so therefore online, suspect you are avoiding me, sad, assume worst, excessive thought-sharing, everything works out better than expected but now terrified of doing it again and never hearing from you  
\- Realize I am in over my head  
\- Continue with plan because obsession and stupidity  
\- Receive increasingly friendly messages from you peppered with hearts and exclamation points, am confused by everything, not sure if you like me, I definitely like you, run around not knowing what to do and ask roommate and sisters for advice because my last relationship was three years ago and did not involve anyone like you  
\- Above is meant in best way possible  
\- Realize you have a lot of problems in your life that bother you, become concerned/worried because I like you, obsession continues to intensify, want to invite you to meet me, obsession has grown to the point I’ve figured out your college and therefore where you must live, thank God you answered when I asked so I could stop pretending like I didn’t know where you lived.  
\- Invite you to my house for Christmas, offer bribe of SSC movie, try not to be get hopes up, dismiss your concerns because I think I understand them… Do stalker stuff like buy a new video game I know you haven’t played but want to   
\- Hopes skyrocket, you are adorable, fail to comprehend the enormity of what I have undertaken, execute dumb plan anyway, seems successful, literally let myself become drunk with success, plan is way too successful and backfires horribly  
\- Wake up hungover in the wrong bed of empty house with evidence of obviously successful plan and no evidence of you, memories hazy, commence complete total mental breakdown   
\- Receive increasingly desperate advice from meddlesome twin sister who likes to sabotage my life sometimes to pay me back for making her teenage years hell and roommate/best friend/sometimes attempted murder victim/live-in perpetual pain in my ass  
\- Decide to disregard all reasonable advice and rational thought  
\- Make a lot of bad choices, drive all night, terrify friends and family, nearly get self killed, write you an angry email, mope around feeling sorry for myself, continue to terrify friends and family, try to forget about you  
\- Unable to forget about you, regret angry email, regret trying to push you away   
\- Desperate to see you again, agree to wild party despite disliking loud music and dancing  
\- See you again, see you at wild party, watch you dance, hear people talking about you, become confused, nothing makes sense, everything I thought I knew is a lie, who I am, what is God, existential crisis where I ignore you because I cannot comprehend what my life has become due to all of above  
\- Decide to formulate plan to handle all of above, start tackling the reality of my situation, start to think everything is okay, start to think I am doing okay  
\- Oversleep and neglect checking email/phone for messages from boyfriend in morning, but check at lunch, see I have been asked to delete an email without reading it  
\- Fight temptation as I eat, return to work, think about response/actions  
\- Receive increasingly frantic pleas from boyfriend to delete drunk email  
\- Decide to delete email, adore boyfriend too much. Become obsessed with email, stare at it in trash, invite roommate to stare at it, spend an entire weekend staring at it until emptying trash to prevent nosy roommate from reading it without permission, decide to forget about evil secret email   
\- Easily forget small obsession with secret email thanks to massive obsession with boyfriend  
\- Have IRL hangout weekend with long-distance boyfriend  
\- Write long email explaining Friday, try to be thorough, look up unknown acronym in preparation for composing response  
\- Suffer partial mental breakdown, assault sleeping roommate, told to go away, threatened with murder, receive good advice and ignore it  
\- Write stupid email for stupid reasons I can’t even explain except to say that I thought you didn’t mean it, or I didn’t know if you meant it, so I didn’t want to say it back unless I meant it, but I didn’t know if I meant it when I wrote that because I hadn’t thought about it yet, I just knew I liked you, I am bad at feelings, this part was and continues to be really dumb and confusing, I am so sorry  
\- Justifiably terrified boyfriend receives stupid email and demands explanation  
\- Fail to apologize and explain self successfully   
\- Fail to reciprocate and understand trust and honesty given by boyfriend  
\- Fail to understand situation  
\- Fail to fix problems  
\- Bribe roommate out of calling the police when discovered sitting in the living room with evidence of obsession exploded everywhere (see attached photo of collected explosion)  
\- Receive good advice from roommate  
\- Potentially understand situation better  
\- Write another stupid email (this one) because I clearly don’t learn from my mistakes   
\- Apologize profusely and explain that I was scared you’d hate me if I admitted any of this (I am very sorry I wasn't more honest at first)   
\- Grovel for forgiveness (<3)  
\- Hope to see you again soon   
\- Marcus

  
Attachment: IMAG0215.jpg   
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	27. Chapter 27

Marcus woke smothered under the protective shield of his pillow and wrapped in the uncomfortable warmth of sunlit-heated blankets. Equally uncomfortable was the fast-fading memory of a bizarre nightmare where Aleks’ lips moved, but Marcus only heard beeping. Irregular, intermittent beeping not unlike text notifications.

As Marcus untangled from the blankets, he heard two more beeps. He snatched his phone off the nightstand. Another small alert escaped the device as Marcus fumbled into his text messages.

 

_(Me)  
I sent you an email but will you text me first before reading it? Doesn’t matter what time you wake up (assuming the sun is still up I guess?)  
(Aleks)  
Boyfriend are you a vampire now  
(Aleks)  
reverse vampire  
(Aleks)  
I have risen as well, not a vampire only hungover  
(Aleks)  
omg wtf  
(Aleks)  
Are these messages from yesterday?  
(Aleks)  
Omg did we chat last night?  
(Aleks)  
Oh God what is this  
(Aleks)  
D:  
(Aleks)  
omg no  
(Aleks)  
omg no nooooo  
(Aleks)  
WHAT DID I DO  
(Aleks)  
WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE _

 

Marcus stared at Aleks’ unfolding panic. A fresh message appeared, stacked beneath the rest. After a half-second delay the phone beeped to tell him about it. Marcus hastily worked his thumbs over the keys, even though he knew catching up with Aleks was a doomed effort.

 

 

 _(Aleks)  
omg omg omg nnnnoooooooooooo  
          (Me)_  
_OK!  
          (Me)_  
_It’s ok!  
(Aleks)  
omg what day is it what time is it  
(Aleks)  
Why are you here what is happening  
          (Me)_  
_Give me a minute to wake up?  
          (Me)_  
_I’ll get online :)  
(Aleks)  
???????????????????? _

 

Reluctantly Marcus set his phone on the bathroom counter. He kept the screen tilted to where he could see it as he brushed the fuzzy feeling from his teeth. Splashing a little water on his face didn’t help him feel more awake. The longer his phone remained silent, the more he worried. Despite the silence Marcus checked anyway, but he only saw that bewildered string of question marks which said nothing and everything.

Was the silence from his phone a good thing or a bad thing? Marcus took the risk of making Aleks wait even longer and went into the kitchen. He found leftover coffee from that morning sitting in the carafe. Rather than dump it and make fresh, Marcus poured the cold dregs into a mug. A little milk made it more palatable, but not by much.

A sleepy shuffle and heavy sense of dread carried him into the office. Marcus settled into the swivel chair and opened his email. He expected the chat box to pop up on its own, maybe something in all caps screaming at him followed by _Deimos is typing_ , but the landscape of his Inbox sat unchanged. No little chat box, no new emails.

Marcus drained half the coffee while trying to think of the best approach. He glanced to the eerily silent phone in his hand. At last he pulled up the chat box and began to type.

 

Praxis: Hello :)

Deimos: !!  
uhhhh hi???

Praxis: Yes, hello!

Deimos: omg  
why are you not at work???

Praxis: I called in once it got to be 6am  
Couldn’t sleep :(

Deimos: aww :c  
that’s my fault I guess  
uggghhh all this trash in the chat log from yesterday...  
I need a breathalyzer on my keyboard jfc

Praxis: Haha, aw. It’s okay  
Are you drinking water?

Deimos: yes <3  
I passed out super early anyway  
I’m not as hungover as you would think… which is good cause I got class

Praxis: When is your class?

Deimos: at 2

Praxis: Oh.  
Maybe this should wait for later?

Deimos: ummm  
nnooooooo… better do it now while I’m out of booze lol  
guessing you wanna talk about these emails and uh  
yesterday’s spazz session… which, again  
I’m really sorry :c

Praxis: It’s okay :)

Deimos: that smiley face is a lie, it’s not okay :c  
um btw  
I read your email while I was waiting for you to get online sorry  
I know you said to wait but I mean I did message you first before reading sooooo

Praxis: Oh. You did? You read it?

Deimos: yeah  
and you read mine?

Praxis: Yeah, I did.  
_Sent at 12:37 PM on Monday_

Deimos: uuuummmmmmmm  
soooooooooo…  
ugh idk what to say

Praxis: Haha, yeah. Same. Sorry, I just woke up.  
Really tired still.

Deimos: you need sleep D:

Praxis: I have coffee. That’s kind of the same thing.

Deimos: glorious nectar of the gods <3  
um okay so… your email is crazy  
totally crazy

Praxis: I know :(

Deimos: I mean like it’s kind of flattering? I guess?  
mostly terrifying  
extremely worrisome  
who else might be stalking me omg  
nuke my blog from orbit lol  
then again idk if anyone else in the fandom is as crazy as you

Praxis: So you’re not mad at me for lying? Or, misleading you I guess.

Deimos: hmmm kinda? not really idk  
I mean a lot of this is upsetting and I don’t like that you did this, but it seems a bit like kicking a puppy to yell at you for having a crush on me  
or from keeping secrets cause … pot kettle you know?  
guess I can’t complain too much that my boyfriend is a scary internet stalker ;D

Praxis: Haha. Aw, okay. I deserve that :(

Deimos: aw no that was a joke!  
you seem pretty harmless <3  
this email is a lot to think about … but I’m definitely not mad at you <3

Praxis: That’s good.  
I’m not mad at you for anything either.

Deimos: idk why you’re not  
this chat log is a fucking disaster  
I want to say, “omg idk wat happened” but I do know what happened.  
I was really bummed about being home even with Tatiana waiting for me so I started drinking way before getting your email about Friday… like, soon as I got home  
then it was a lot of hating myself and feeling scared and your side of things was so awful to read … like really awful idk chugalug therapy I guess  
ugh I’m really awful  
blububublub idk why you even put up with me :c

Praxis: Because I like you! :)  
And it’s not putting up with you. I don’t want you to think of it like that. At all, because it’s not.  
And you’re not awful, either. I think you’re great.  
_Sent at 12:52 PM on Monday  
_ Praxis: Aleks?

Deimos: hi im here :c

Praxis: Hello :)

Deimos: blubulblubbbb…  
I know its my turn to talk about my weird and confusing bullshit but idk  
nervous

Praxis: Aw, don’t be nervous.  
If it makes you feel any better, I’m really not even all that awake. I’m not sure I’m capable of being angry. Too tired for that :)

Deimos: heh  
poor Earthlings can’t handle being awake all night  
promise me tonight you’ll go to bed early and get lots and lots of sleep for tomorrow?

Praxis: I definitely plan to do that :)

Deimos: okay <3  
ugh wish I could make you delete everything from last night and just forget about it :c  
honesty sucks

Praxis: Haha. Yeah, I guess it does. But, I want us to be honest. I think we should talk about this stuff. It’s only going to be harder if we wait.

Deimos: yeah i know :c  
_Sent at 1:07 PM on Monday  
_ Deimos: um okay so ask away I guess?  
I’ll explain best I can (or run around terrified idk)

Praxis: Haha, aw. Okay. Well if you do start running around terrified, I’ll be sure to throw a nice explanation. Or, try to, at least.  
I guess the first thing I want to ask you about is kissing Sacha, because when I asked if you had ever dated him you told me no…

Deimos: thats true, thats not a lie  
we never dated  
kissing was just one time  
freshman year in the dorms so like years ago and we never dated or did anything else, he was never my boyfriend, we never dated  
I know my blog is full of lies but like I really have tried to be honest with you… mostly I guess idk  
my life is stupid and angsty so I guess I lie sometimes to make it seem better or at least different...  
that night you asked me about Sacha I was scared to tell you the full truth, but it really is true that we never dated, I promise. He was never my boyfriend, we never dated, I just kissed him the one time and it was really fucking stupid so I wish it’d never even happened anyway and I’m sorry  
I’m really, really sorry

Praxis: Okay…  
Okay. Well, okay. That makes sense. I was worried it’d happened recently. By the way you reacted I thought it would be worse. What am I missing?

Deimos: ???

Praxis: Your email. Was that the only reason you wanted me to delete it?

Deimos: idk  
yeah  
kinda  
no  
idk  
just the whole thing is dumb and angsty  
what I said about Tatiana and school...  
it was just a lot of stuff I didnt want you to read

Praxis: Oh.  
Okay? Maybe I’m not understanding this then.  
Or I mean, I know I’m not understanding this. I don’t understand anything about this email or what your life is really like. I am horrendously confused by IRL you.

Deimos: i am confusing and weird :c

Praxis: A little :)  
_Sent at 1:21 PM on Monday  
_ Praxis: Sorry, I meant that to be playful. I don’t mind being confused, but I guess I am starting to wish I wasn’t so confused. I don’t like that things keep getting so awkward between us because of everything I don’t understand. I’m scared you might decide to stop talking to me, or that I’ll hurt you without meaning to because I can’t understand you. I’m scared I’ve already hurt you, and you’re just too nice tell me the truth. And I hate feeling like this, I don’t like worrying about this. I want to be able to understand you better, and it seems like whenever I try I just end up pushing you away or fucking it up somehow. It’s not fair.  
Sorry, I’m feeling frustrated. Guess I am mad after all.  
At myself, not you!  
Excessive thought sharing :(  
Maybe I should make more coffee.

Deimos: poor tired Earthling boyfriend :c

Praxis: Sorry :(  
That was a bit much.

Deimos: no, it's okay!  
You can thought-share in excess all you need! It’s okay really  
... honestly its kind of nice seeing you lose it a little  
sleep deprived boyfriend is far more coherent than drunk deimos at least <3

Praxis: Don’t feel like you need to respond to what I just said.  
Maybe I do understand why you wanted me to delete that email. I’d like to delete part of this chat now.

Deimos: haha <3  
yeah right? gosh where is that time machine  
hey I have to go soon but um just so you know, about yesterday and all the weird confusing screaming I did  
dont feel like you need to respond to any of that, ok?  
um number 7 in your email or the drunk keysmashing in my email  
all of that nonsense, don't feel like you have to say anything back  
sober me totally gets it  
even counting the time you spent quietly stalking me its a bit early for that so…  
just no one’s ever been as nice to me as you are, and I never thought anyone would  
I got a little carried away I’m sorry  
_Sent at 1:37 PM on Monday  
_ Deimos: So I’ll stop saying stuff like that  <3  
and we don’t have to talk about it anymore

Praxis: Oh  
Is that really okay?

Deimos: yeah! <3  
really, promise -- totally okay  
sober me gets it, sorry drunk me spazzed about it  
shit I gotta close my laptop and start walking to class

Praxis: Oh? Okay :)

Deimos: sorry! text me?? not trying to bail on this conversation, promise  
much as I want to lol  
no jk <3 <3 <3

Praxis: Haha, okay. I’ll text you.

_Deimos is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Deimos comes online._

 

 

  
_(Aleks)_  
_Okay sorry I’m here_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Nearly forgot to feed Tatiana! Always a good idea to do that before leaving my apartment_  
_(Aleks)_  
_You know in case I get hit by a car crossing the street or something_  
_(Aleks)_  
_No, not really. It’s a safe walk don’t worry_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Boyfriend did you fall asleep?_  
_(Me)_  
_No im here sorry!_  
_(Me)_  
_I went to the kitchen to get more coffee and make lunch._  
_(Aleks)_  
_Ooh whatcha making?_  
_(Me)_  
_Sandwich. Too tired to cook :(_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Boyfriend is broken D:_  
_(Aleks)_  
_You should take a nap while I’m in class_  
_(Me)_  
_I’m tired but not sleepy. And my room is too bright_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Resisting and failing against the urge to say I told you so_  
_(Aleks)_  
_You know I liked waking up early and eating breakfast with you. IRL hangout weekend was really fun <3 Sorry for freaking out on you_  
_(Aleks)_  
_...yet again :c_  
_(Me)_  
_Aw, it’s okay. I’m back at my desk now to eat._  
_(Aleks)_  
_ok sorry I’ll stop spamming you soon_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Almost there_  
_(Me)_  
_Are you going to be late?_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Maybe lol but its okay_  
_(Me)_  
_I hope you’re not late :(_  
_(Aleks)_  
_running omg_  
_(Me)_  
_Did you make it?_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Made it!_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Waiting for class to start :/ why did I run_  
_(Me)_  
_I’m glad you weren’t late :)_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Yeah me too lol might have just gone home rather than walk in late with everyone staring_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Whatcha doing?_  
_(Me)_  
_I’m looking at types of blackout curtains and debating a drive to the store_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Omg are you really?_  
_(Me)_  
_Yeah but now I’m thinking I should ask Aidan what kind he has first. He would probably kill me if I woke him up though_  
_(Aleks)_  
_D:_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Don’t wake him up then. I like you alive haha_  
_(Aleks)_  
_You could use a blanket or a drop cloth to cover the window_  
_(Me)_  
_Oh, that’s a good idea_  
_(Me)_  
_I should probably stay awake so I’ll be able to sleep tonight_  
_(Me)_  
_Maybe I should stop drinking coffee too_  
_(Me)_  
_Do you turn your phone off in class? Should I stop texting?_  
_(Aleks)_  
_teehee its on silent text spam me all you want pls_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Sneaky lap texting >:D_  
_(Me)_  
_I refuse to encourage this >:C_  
_(Aleks_  
_pfft its fine there are like 4 people blatantly texting_  
_(Aleks)_  
_I’m classy enough to do it sneakily_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Aw you were serious lol OK fine_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Small group discussion time now. I get to be in a group by myself yay_  
_(Aleks)_  
_For like half a second I was scared my professor was going to make me move seats to join a group. I started eyeballing the distance from here to the door for a quick escape_  
_(Aleks)_  
_I’m waiting for everyone else to be done with the assignment. Already finished mine_  
_(Aleks)_  
_And freedom! Walking home now, that was my only class today_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Boyfriend why you no text me :c_  
_(Me)_  
_Hi again! I took a shower and got dressed. Made it as far as starting the car before deciding I shouldn’t drive anywhere_  
_(Aleks)_  
_D: omg how broken are you??_  
_(Me)_  
_Haha. I’m fine. Just tired, but better safe than sorry. Especially after hitting the storage rack on Saturday._  
_(Aleks)_  
_Aww… were you going to get curtains?_  
_(Me)_  
_Nah, thought I’d do grocery shopping. Almost out milk_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Hmm I should do that. Almost out of ramen_  
_(Me)_  
_Oh hey, there’s a new story on tag!_  
_(Aleks)_  
_:D !!!_  
_(Me)_  
_Not Pel/Pri though_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Boo!! >:c_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Oh yeah haha that reminds me! YOU wrote that bakery AU! Write me more Pel/Pri!!_  
_(Me)_  
_Oh, no, I did confess to that didn’t I? Perhaps my greatest shame_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Your shame is my glory. I love that AU_  
_(Me)_  
_Blame Aidan. He talked me into it. And helped write it._  
_(Aleks)_  
_Haha, well, good. I’m glad he did, it’s a cute story. Hardly anyone writes cute AUs for SSC_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Your roommate seems okay. Maybe next time I’ll suck it up enough to actually say hi and hang out_  
_(Me)_  
_That would be nice :) Don’t feel pressured though_  
_(Aleks)_  
_I won’t lol or maybe I will, who knows. Feeling pretty guilty still about ruining your Sunday_  
_(Aleks)_  
_And making you miss work :c_  
_(Me)_  
_You didn’t ruin anything. And, I have a sick leave for a reason. I don’t use it very often, so it’s okay._  
_(Aleks)_  
_Well I’ll try to behave better anyway <3_  
_(Aleks)_  
_Are you online? I’m almost home :D_  
_(Me)_  
_I am! Looking at DIY bathroom remodels and wondering how many sisters I can rope into helping. Hopefully the one asking for me to do this at least._  
_(Aleks)_  
_lol let me guess your twin?_  
_(Me)_  
_Yeah. Promised her I would help, which really means I promised her I would do it._  
_(Aleks)_  
_Exciting stuff_  
_(Aleks)_  
_I’ll pop open my laptop once I get upstairs?? I have homework and stuff but we could chat more_  
_(Me)_  
_Sure! That sounds nice :)_

 

 

Deimos: Hello again!

Praxis: Hello :)

Deimos: Tatiana says hi too. She has her fat face against the screen

Praxis: Hello, Tatiana!  
What kind of homework do you have? Anything fun?

Deimos: lol no  
it’s stuff for seminar super boring  
why do people make artists talk about their art in a professional way... it’s torture just let me either flail incoherently or draw you a picture, like, this is why I went into art to begin with I no talk good  
you think they’d let me submit Pel/Pri? I could ramble forever on headcanons and meta instead that’d be great

Praxis: Haha, maybe! Or you could draw it as an AU to hide the truth

Deimos: hahaha hide my shame yeah  
making progress on that bathroom fix up project?

Praxis: Sorta. I’m pricing out cabinets and debating if bribing any of my sisters into helping is worth it. I’d bribe Aidan, but with his schedule there’s not much point I guess.

Deimos: oh yeah you said he was a Martian

Praxis: Yeah, usually during the week he wakes up after I go to bed… He’s not a DIY kind of guy anyway, not unless it comes to computers.

Deimos: lol I relate. I’d probably hit myself in the face with a hammer like day one

Praxis: Note to self, do not ask boyfriend to assist in home improvement projects

Deimos: omg speaking of project assistance Sacha just texted me  
I’m getting hijacked

Praxis: Uh oh. Not for more trespassing I hope? Watch out for nails!

Deimos: hahaha omg close?? pretty sure it won’t be trespassing at least  
or maybe  
idk  
honestly it probably is lol he told me to wear black  
gotta find sturdy boots and some gloves, we’re hunting for art stuff in the woods  
ttyl maybe??

Praxis: Okay! Have fun  
Be safe :)

_Deimos is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Deimos comes online._

 

 

 

subject: Thinking of You                                                                                                         
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi Aleks! I hope you’re having fun hanging out with Sacha. You’ll have to tell me later what “hunting for art stuff in the woods” entails. Surely you don’t mean actually hunting? Rather than text you to find out, I’ll hide my worry in this email. I’m mostly positive you aren’t wandering around in the woods with a gun. Don’t drink and shoot?? Okay, that’s a bit silly. I blame the lack of sleep while I still can.  
I liked chatting with you today -- playing hooky from work like this is kind of fun. It’s definitely nicer than when I was out because of my eye… I guess that was the last time I missed a day of work besides holidays. Well after sending this email I’ll get off the computer for the evening. I’m sure you won’t be back from your adventure until long after my bedtime. I don’t have any immediate plans for this upcoming weekend, so, maybe we could do another IRL hangout? I could drive to see you this time, if you wanted. Of course you’re also welcome to come here. Selfishly I’d like that, but ultimately I just want to see you again.  
Okay. Talk to you soon,  
Marcus


	28. Chapter 28

subject: Re: Thinking of You                                                                                                         
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Good morning!! Or, I assume it’ll be morning by the time you get this, since it’s nearing Martian bedtime.  
Okay omg you are ridiculous, of course I didn’t go actually hunting. Although kinda close I guess since the objective was to find dead animals. And acorns, I collected an entire shopping bag full of acorns. It was super important they still have the little cap on them. Apparently cap-less acorns are useless. We didn’t find any skeletons or bones or whatever the hell Sacha wants. I think he’s looking for antlers specifically… which, okay, how does that even work? I legitimately thought deer just … idk, had antlers. Like, attached. Forever. But according to Sacha, deer shed them??? Super bizarre. Just proves I know pretty much nothing about nature/going outside.  
Yeah chatting yesterday was nice!! <3 I could get spoiled having someone to text-spam for walking to class and stuff. I mean, you’re nice about letting me blow up your phone while you’re at work during the day, but I try to contain myself. Haha, I mean, not very successfully, obviously… Also, um, annoying curiosity so don’t feel like you have to answer, but -- do you get to sue your work or anything, because you got hurt?? Was wondering about that. I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, though. I feel weird and rude asking. Sorry. Just ignore that if you want.  
Well I’m slowly starting to get buried in assignments, but nothing so urgent I can’t spend some time with you this weekend! Um, since I went to your place last, would you mind coming here? I could maybe multitask boyfriend-time/homework-time if needed, and also I really don’t like abandoning Tatiana. I could bring her with me, I guess, or possibly ask Sacha to cat-sit but he’s gonna be suspicious and I already blew my one decent excuse for leaving town. Just if you came here that’d be great. We could even go out and do stuff. Maybe hit up a party? I can ask Sacha. It’d be free, unlike a club, and more or less same end result, if that’s still something you’re interested in doing. I don’t mind parties. I kinda like them, actually. Sacha always knows of good ones. Oh, but, staying in would be nice, too. Really just spending time with you will be nice. I miss you, too. I wish you were awake, just so I could tell you goodnight. (Ugh, did I really write something so sappy?!)  
<3 <3 <3  
Aleks

 

 

 

subject: Re: Thinking of You  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Good morning, Aleks! I’m checking my email before work like usual. I actually woke a full twenty minutes before my alarm. I went to bed pathetically early, too (pretty much right after sending that email). Clearly I needed the sleep.  
Your hunting adventure sure does sound strange! I’m glad you were only hunting acorns. Your bewilderment about deer antlers is way too funny, but I guess I can see why you thought that. Promise I’m not laughing at you… much :) Gathering dead things out of the woods sounds like an excellent way to contract some kind of disease, you know. I suppose you could bleach or sanitize the bones... I’m too concerned about what I might find if I look up “methods to clean wild animal bones” on the internet. I guess it’s reasonable to assume Sacha knows what he’s doing. Be sure to wear gloves… or maybe stick to acorn collecting.  
For your question about the work accident, it’s okay. You can ask me questions if you want, about pretty much anything. I don’t mind nosy questions. To answer your curiosity, no, I’m not going to sue -- I like my job, after all, and they paid for all the medical expenses. Plus it was partly my fault. Shameful admittance, but, I wasn’t wearing my safety glasses on the floor. Please don’t yell at me… I know it was stupid :(  Lesson learned, huh? Aidan barely kept from screaming at me, but I could tell he wanted to. That’s his job, after all, he’s QC/Safety. He works third shift and I’m first shift. Sometimes we cross paths in the morning, he gets off work at the same time I start. I can’t imagine if he had been working when it happened. That would have been awful. I’m glad he wasn’t there. It was kind of a mess. I guess I don’t really like thinking about it. A lot of the time I forget it happened at all, until I catch sight of my reflection.  
Well. I should finish my coffee and go to work. Sorry I won’t be able to respond during the day. I like seeing what you send me while I’m at work, though, so don’t hold back from spamming my phone :)  
Oh, about this weekend - I can come visit you this time. That’s fine. I’m not sure if I’ll want to leave Friday after work or just wake up early Saturday. Depends on how tired I am? Same for the party offer… let me think about it.  
Talk to you again soon,  
Marcus  
PS - I should be free tonight if you want to chat?

 

 

 

Marcus--  
I drank the last of the milk. Sucks to be you.  
I’ll get more on the way home tomorrow.  
Kisses,  
Aidan

 

 

 

subject: Re: Thinking of You                                                                                                         
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Hiya! <3 Something quick before I dart to class. First off, yay Earthling boyfriend is back on schedule!! I was excited to see your email waiting for me when I woke up. Also don’t worry about scary dead forest creature diseases, ew, no way I’m touching anything we do happen to find… Speaking of which, I promised Sacha I’d go hunting again tonight. Gotta collect more acorns I guess. He wants me over at his place soon as I’m out of class. Sorry!! Maybe tomorrow?  
Oh, um, thanks for answering me about work. That sucks :c I don’t think it was your fault or anything… I mean, accidents happen? Or, idk, just don’t beat yourself up over it I guess. I’m just glad you’re okay now and it wasn’t worse. I know you said you don’t like thinking about it/talking about it, but if you do ever want to talk… I don’t mind listening <3  
And thanks for agreeing to come visit me this weekend!! Yeah I totally get you on maybe not wanting to hit up a wild weirdo party with me haha <3 That’s fine. I’ll just be happy to see you. Show up Friday night or Saturday morning, either works. Whatever you wanna do is fine.  
<3 <3 <3  
Aleks

 

 

 

 _(Julia)  
Hey can you watch the girls tonight?  
       (Me)  
Yeah, sure. What time?  
(Julia)  
Can you be here by 6?  
       (Me)  
If you feed me I can.  
(Julia)  
Deal. I’ll have something ready for you  
(Julia)  
Oh hey how’d your date go? That was this weekend, right?  
       (Me)_  
_Yeah, it was this weekend. It went well! Thanks for asking. We saw a movie and then hung around the house mostly.  
(Julia)  
So when do I get to meet him? You should bring him over for dinner!  
       (Me)_  
_Maybe next time. I’m going to his place this weekend._

 

 

 

 _(Aleks)  
Sometimes I wonder if any of my professors are banging their students  
(Aleks)  
And if so, is it worth it.  
(Aleks)  
Okay this is not an actual strategy for finish grad school that I’m going to do, but it’s mighty tempting on paper  
(Aleks)  
Jfc why did I send that to my boyfriend. Text spamming gone wild sorry about that  
(Aleks)  
I’m heading to Sacha’s now  <3  
       (Me)_  
_I’m babysitting the nieces tonight. How is acorn hunting?  
(Aleks)  
Hi!! Taking a break cause I got separated from Sacha. Gotta use my phone as a flashlight  
       (Me)_  
_Hello! You’re not lost are you??  
(Aleks)  
Probably not. I can see Sacha I just don’t think he can see me. I’ll try catching up here in a minute  
       (Me)_  
_Okay well please don’t get lost in the woods!  
(Aleks)  
Nah Sacha won’t leave me here. I got all these acorns he wants lol  
(Aleks)  
Oops he’s shouting for me, better head his way. Ttyl!  
       (Me)_  
_Okay :) I don’t think my sister will be back until late. I’ll email you in the morning  
       (Me)_  
_Text me when you get home, though? Just so I know you aren’t still wandering around in the woods…  
(Aleks)  
I’m home!! Well, in the car with Sash driving back. We found antlers!!! And a dead owl lol  
(Aleks)  
He’s excited about the owl. Like, way more excited than someone should be about a dead thing. Borderline concerned tbh  
(Aleks)  
Oh but don’t worry I didn’t touch it. We used a garbage bag to snag it.  
(Aleks)  
Okay that’s enough blowing up your phone while you’re sleeping  <3 _

 

 

 

subject: Re: Thinking of You  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Hi Aleks! Good morning :)  
My sister stayed out later than she promised, so I don’t have quite as much time to write this reply as I want. I hit snooze one too many times, whoops. Do you still want to schedule a chat-date for tonight? Hopefully you’re done with art stuff hunting after your successful capture of a dead owl and some antlers. And more acorns, hopefully all with their caps! I was told that’s important ;) I could be online by 7 I think. I’ll text you if not. If you do end up needing to work on school assignments this weekend, I’ll understand. I can bring a book to entertain myself, or maybe there’s something I can do to help? Guess you mostly paint and draw, huh. Probably not much I can help you with there. I couldn’t draw a straight line to save my life.  
I guess that’s all for now. Talk to you tonight I hope!  
\- Marcus

 

 

 

subject: The Great Art Hunt Continutes                                                                                              
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Hello! Writing this while I shove lunch in my face. Believe it or not Sacha still needs more acorns. I actually looked up online where to buy them in bulk. Not cost effective at all, like you either have to get fake ones or these fancy premium organic ones hand-polished and blegh so expensive. Guess I’ll continue to tramp around in the woods. It’s supposed to get below freezing though… brr! Don’t worry, we can still do our chat date! 7 sounds fine. I’ll tell Sacha he has to wait until after I tuck my Earthling boyfriend into bed. <3  
Okay, more chewing less typing -- talk to you tonight!!  
<3 <3 <3  
Aleks

 

 

 

_(Bridget)  
lol can you pick me up that bitch taylor left me here  
(Bridget)  
I’m at the mall  
(Bridget)  
Sorry for swearing  
(Bridget)  
Don’t tell mom :(  
       (Me)  
Okay. Can you meet me out front? Next to the fountain.  
(Bridget)  
Yay thank you so much  <3 _

 

 

 

Aidan--  
There’s leftover chicken and rice in the fridge if you’re interested. Feel free to finish it, I made too much.  
\--Marcus

 

 

 

 _(Deborah)  
Is your old graphing calculator at the house? If so where in your room would I look?  
       (Me)_  
_I’m not sure actually. Check the desk drawers?  
(Deborah)  
Okay I found it  
(Deborah)  
Also why would you keep a graphing calculator in your nightstand? Loser  
(Deborah)  
I told Julia your internet boyfriend isn’t real but she says she saw a pic of him once. Send it to me I wanna see  
       (Me)_  
_I’m not doing that  
       (Me)_  
_And I don’t know why the calculator was there. Probably one of you borrowed it before and put it back in the wrong place_

 

 

 

 _(Mom)  
sink noise again  
       (Me)_  
_You mean the garbage disposal?  
(Mom)  
yes  
       (Me)_  
_Okay. I’ll come over tomorrow to fix it  
(Mom)  
thx u! _

 

 

 

subject: Re: The Great Art Hunt Continues  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Good morning, Aleks!  
I had fun chatting last night, thanks for delaying your plans so we could. I checked the weather for this weekend and it looks snow for Friday night. It’s not supposed to snow too much, at least. Even still I probably shouldn’t be out driving, so I think I will plan for Saturday instead.  
Tonight I’m going over to my mom’s house to fix her garbage disposal. Bridget probably cleaned her fishbowl in the sink and lost a pebble down the drain. I keep telling her to use the wire strainer, but she won’t listen. I’ll probably stay for dinner, so I don’t think I’ll be able to chat with you tonight. I feel guilty for being a wimp about the snow on Friday keeping me from seeing you, so, how about a movie date? Aidan says that he and Ethan will sometimes watch movies together online. They use their headsets to voice chat, but the program he uses also has text chatting! Not that just regular chat is boring or anything. We can always do that. I thought a movie date might be fun. We can both make popcorn! :) Oh, but, if you have more exciting plans for Friday I understand.  
Something I was thinking about last night and didn’t get a chance to ask… Is everything going okay with your classes? I know it was rough for you coming back from break. I hope you have a great semester.  
Talk to you soon,  
Marcus

 

 

 

_(Aleks)  
ooommmggggg I swear I set my alarm but nope overslept  
(Aleks)  
Running my ass to class  
(Aleks)  
uugggghhhhhhh I came in late and everyone looked at me it was awful kill me  
(Aleks)  
Friday movie date sounds fun! I’ll reply to your email after class  
(Aleks)  
How’s lunch? Anything tasty? I’ve had four lattes and zero food so far today yay  
(Aleks)  
Guess you were busy at lunch :c  
(Aleks)  
It’s so fucking cold omg  
(Aleks)  
Latte five no food just caffeine I am one with the cold it can’t hurt me  
(Aleks)  
Inhaling pizza from the student cafeteria then going home fuck today fuck the cold fuck life  
(Aleks)  
Okay disregard I’m fine sorry post-pizza Deimos much happier about life  
(Aleks)  
Boyfrruieenddd why you no text meeee _

 

 

 

 _(Aidan)  
Okay. So everything’s fine, but do we own a fire extinguisher  
(Aidan)  
Everything continues to be fine, but this request is rather urgent  
(Aidan)  
Okay. Everything is fine, but maybe pick up a new fire extinguisher on your way home from work  
       (Me)_  
_WHY  
(Aidan)  
Because I used the other one? Also everything is fine  
       (Me)_  
_You repeating that is not reassuring  
(Aidan)  
Well it’s more reassuring than me saying “holy fucking shit the toaster is on fire what the fuck do I do omg call 911”  
(Aidan)  
Also we need a new toaster  
(Aidan)  
But everything is fine  
       (Me)_  
_I hate you. Aleks is blowing up my phone I don’t have time for this  
(Aidan)  
Fine I’m going to bed anyway  
(Aidan)  
But seriously bring home a new fire extinguisher  
(Aidan)  
Also maybe a toaster I’ll pay you back  
(Aidan)  
I just wanted some goddamn toast _

 

 

 

 _(Me)  
Hi Aleks! Sorry I missed you at lunch. I’m at my mom’s place for the evening. Busy day :)  
(Aleks)  
yaay boyfriend hi  
       (Me)_  
_Hello! I’m about to eat supper. Enjoy your evening! Any plans?  
(Aleks)  
drink ndrrawwwww  
       (Me)_  
_Haha, oh? Sounds fun :) Well, ttyl! Feel free to keep spamming my phone.  
(Aleks)  
ppftttt I behheave  
(Aleks)  
Behave  
(Aleks)  
yes I behave goodnight _

 

 

 

subject: Re: The Great Art Hunt Continues  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Hiiiiiiii I nearly forgot to wrie you an email ops. Sorry for all te htext post spam todat. WAkin u p late really three my whole day off. Uuugghhhh whhhhyyyyy lifeee ewhhwhy you like thissss …. No this weeks been okay tusy today sucjed. I think its like stockhol syndrome with school now lol I’ resigned myselff to the desester. But youre rgretat and talking to you all the tim eis super great too. I liked ipcking acorns with Sacha it was fun. Keeping busy thats the drink … trick lol Keeping busy!! Busy busy busy just like you tso busy. sorry to text so muhchh I know youre bust yu hsvea life besiedes me. why you dont you quit and just tstay to ibetarain me all the ime? haah jk dont do tthat. i shouldnt br ewritingemail this drink idk w hat wirse i could asy tho i aklready confesed kissigng sacha. now im ivnivnibl! i san say all the terribe things maybe you wotn hate me .hokay muchdvodka very drunk mmmaybe i slep now or puke idk  
iluiluikuiul,3 >3 <3

 

 

 

subject: Double-checking...  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

Good morning, Aleks :) I read a little bit of your email from last night (just the first few sentences). I think I might wait for you to wake up before reading further. Not sure if it’s something you’re going to want me to delete instead ;D  
Hope you’re feeling okay. Drink lots of water and take it easy. I need to run a few errands after work today, but I should be home and online after dinner. Let’s shoot for 7? I plan to just grab something quick at the store. Looking forward to our movie date tonight if you’re still feeling up to it.  
Talk to you later,  
Marcus

 

 

 

subject: Re: Double-checking...  
Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>  
to Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>

Ugh. Fatal hangover send help. Writing this from my bed. Not sure I can crawl to the kitchen to retrieve water. Tatiana… Tatiana help me. (She’s not helping. I’m very disappointed) So, yeah, I guess you can read that email. I didn’t say anything awful, just a lot of incoherent keysmashing. Not sure it’ll even make sense. No class today at least. Just studio credits. Maybe more sleep first. Fading fast aahhhh <3

 

 

 

 _(Me)  
Feeling any better? My lunch today is leftovers. My mom always sends me home with some when she cooks. Pot roast, yum!  
(Aleks)  
no food only death  
       (Me)_  
_Aw! Still feeling rotten?  
(Aleks)  
my body is 50% vodka 50% regret  
       (Me)_  
_Do you want to cancel for tonight?  
(Aleks)  
Nnnnnnooooooooo  
(Aleks)  
I leave bed I get water  
       (Me)_  
_I wish I was there to bring you water :(  
(Aleks)  
Boyfriend so sweet aahh  <3  
       (Me)_  
_Lunch over, back to work. I’ll see you tonight?  
(Aleks)  
Yes less death more fun I’ll be there  
(Aleks)  
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 _

 

 

 

Marcus--  
Sorry about the toaster. Login creds below, have fun tonight <3  
username: ethos-ethos  
password: $paceF@iry!  
All my love,  
Aidan

 

 

 

Aidan--  
Thanks for the login, but you still owe me $80 for the toaster, fire extinguisher, and the damage to the cabinets. Just add it to next month’s rent. Be more careful in the future. I put an extra fire extinguisher in the garage. If you want one for your room let me know. Please don’t burn my house down :(  
\--Marcus

 

 

 

Deimos: hellooooooooo  
_Sent at 6:58 PM on Friday_

Praxis: Hello! :)

Deimos: <3!!  
Aahhhhhhhhh it’s really snowing outside. I’m glad you’re not on the road

Praxis: Me too! Even though it would be nice to see you

Deimos: do you think its gonna stick?? will you be safe driving tomorrow?

Praxis: I think it’ll be fine. It’s supposed to warm up a little, and it’s mostly highway anyway. They’ll have salted and plowed

Deimos: okay <3  
So how’s this movie thing work whatcha need me to do

Praxis: Oh, right! Let me email you the link. Aidan let me borrow his account for tonight

Deimos: okie dokie!  
_Sent at 7:06 PM on Friday_

 

 

 

subject: Movie link!  
Praxis <practically-praxis@umail.com>  
to Deimos <myshonok-deimos@umail.com>

I think you’ll need to sign up for an account too? Here’s the link:  
http://watchmovies.to/join/ethos-ethos 

 

 

 

Praxis: Got it?

Deimos: got it!  
oh I can join as guest neat  
are we chatting here or there? you can pop this chat box out and move it btw

Praxis: Oh, really?

Deimos: yeah! hit the up arrow thingy

Praxis: Oh, neat! Okay, maybe chat here then. That’s easy  
Give me a minute to arrange the windows

Deimos: sure! get comfy  
_Sent at 7:10 PM on Friday  
_ Deimos: did you make popcorn?

Praxis: Haha, no. Did you?

Deimos: I thought about it… don’t have any though. I’m eating a bread sandwich

Praxis: Bread sandwich?

Deimos: yeah just 2 pieces of bread together. calling it a sandwich makes it fancy

Praxis: Pretty sure you need something in the middle to call it a sandwich

Deimos: there’s air in the middle

Praxis: Haha.  
Okay, I’m settled. Got everything arranged… ready?

Deimos: yeah! Whatcha wanna watch?

Praxis: Sci-fi okay? Aidan’s got something on here I haven’t seen yet

Deimos: yeah sure <3  
_Sent at 7:18 PM on Friday  
_ Deimos: I recognize like none of these names lol

Praxis: Yeah I don’t think this is very high budget. I figure since we planned to chat through it anyway

Deimos: good thinking <3  
Tatiana is at the window watching the snow aww so cute

Praxis: We’re just getting flurries

Deimos: big fat flakes here. I really hope the roads are okay tomorrow

Praxis: They should be. Don’t worry, if they’re not I’ll stay home.

Deimos: aww :C but I want to see you

Praxis: Me too  
_Sent at 7:32 PM on Friday_

Deimos: shirtless dude nice

Praxis: Haha

Deimos: other dude walking in all casual  
“hey captain we taking off our shirts? nice let me join you”  
oh they’re going into the showers  
this is totally gay  
I ship it

Praxis: New OTP?

Deimos: for sure  
I was just thinking how funny it’d be if this ended up being a gay porn  
like if your roommate tricked you into watching it haha  
or you tricked me into it really

Praxis: I promise this is an actual movie

Deimos: hahaha … do they even make sci-fi themed gay porn?  
they probably do  
you think they do?

Praxis: I refuse to answer on grounds it may incriminate me

Deimos: omg they do  
and you know it  
hahahahahahahaha

Praxis: I’m invoking my 5th amendment rights

Deimos: hahahahahahahaa  
were they on a spaceship  
is it with like aliens and stuff?!  
have you watched weird alien scifi porn omg  
were there tentacles  
sexy suction cup alien tentacles

Praxis: Okay just what kind of porn have you watched?!

Deimos: NOT ANY WITH ALIEN TENTACLES  
hahahahahahahaha  
omg imagine the weirdest AU with that  
wait I think I saw Quenzela/Pelgrad once actually

Praxis: You did not  
Who would draw that?! And why??

Deimos: idk you tell me you’re the alien tentacle porn expert

Praxis: We’re missing the movie. Look, the life support systems are failing

Deimos: aren’t they always? like why do they even bother  
okay okay fine watching  
_Sent at 7:54 PM on Friday  
_ Deimos: uh oh the aliens have tentacles  
do we need to pause so you can take a cold shower

Praxis: >:C

Deimos: ahahahaha jk <3  
_Sent at 8:09 PM on Friday  
_ Deimos: ew gross omg these aliens aren’t very nice

Praxis: Most aren’t I guess. Movie aliens are either horrific monsters set on senselessly destroying humanity or super advanced ethereal space elves

Deimos: space elves omg  
accurate  
does that make the other type of aliens space orcs?

Praxis: Yeah probably  
_Sent at 8:21 PM on Friday_

Deimos: oh rip cute second in command  
there goes my otp  
warning major character death

Praxis: At least he got in a heroic quip first

Deimos: dude died doing what he loved… being sassy eye candy  
guess the captain is probably going to survive

Praxis: Yeah, and the medical officer

Deimos: oh yeah gotta save the female love interest  
_Sent at 8:39 PM on Friday_

Praxis: This is a terrible plan

Deimos: lol ikr? let’s set the entire cargo hold on fire  
literally nothing about that is a bad idea

Praxis: I guess they’ll go for the escape pods?  
Still seems like a bad idea

Deimos: yeah idk eaten by weird tentacle alien or whatever terrible death happens when you float in an escape pod without rescue for ??? amount of time  
didnt they say earlier their distress signal couldn't be received bc they were too far out from the mining outpost?

Praxis: I honestly wasn’t paying attention during that scene. Someone was shaming me about misplaced teenage curiosity

Deimos: hehehe idk who that could be total mystery ;D

Praxis: Haha  
_Sent at 8:52 PM on Friday  
_ Praxis: Oh, they’re idiots. Alien went into that open vent duct just before the explosion, calling it now

Deimos: how do they even know fire hurts it  
maybe the alien likes fire  
_Sent at 8:57 PM on Friday_

Praxis: HA! Called it.

Deimos: sucks 2 be u captain  
so much for that otp  
alien/medical officer only ship left

Praxis: Medical Officer/Escape Pod?

Deimos: kinky I like it  
oh yay she murdered the alien  
guess alien didn’t like fire after all, lucky guess

Praxis: Well most things don’t like being set on fire

Deimos: truth  
oh that’s cheap now suddenly a rescue craft is in range?  
whatever  
think there’s an end credits scene?

Praxis: Oh, something like the alien crawling out from under the wreckage?

Deimos: ew hope not

Praxis: That’s a lot of special effect artists

Deimos: high budget alien, low budget actors

Praxis: There’s probably not an end credit scene, look at the runtime

Deimos: yeah good point

Praxis: Who would want to buy the soundtrack?

Deimos: sad people with poor taste in music  
no end credits scene  
booooooo  
no it was fun haha

Praxis: Yeah, it was fun! Sometimes trashy movies are nice

Deimos: lol yeah definitely  
<3 yay movie date!

Praxis: Yeah!

Deimos: so is this what your roommate does with his boyfriend?

Praxis: ?  
Aidan doesn’t have a boyfriend… I think. Pretty sure he doesn’t

Deimos: oh in your email you said he used this movie watch thingie

Praxis: Oh! Oh, no, that’s just his childhood best friend.  
Ethan actually lives where you do! It’s one of the reasons I was able to figure out where you lived so quickly

Deimos: oh wow okay  
that makes sense I guess… :c maybe I should go through my blog and delete stuff bleh  
nuke the whole thing idk

Praxis: Aw, no. Sorry for bringing it up. Don’t delete your blog! It’s fine  
Mostly it was stuff you said in our private chats  
I don’t think any obsessed myshonok-deimos fans are going to show up at your front door tomorrow except me :)

Deimos: haha  
ok <3  
well I like you <3 so that’s okay, please show up at my front door anytime

Praxis: Is it still snowing? Recklessly thinking I could do the drive tonight anyway…

Deimos: don’t you dare!! yeah it is still snowing… not as much tho  
could just be snow coming off the roof or trees, hard to tell  
but don't drive omg

Praxis: I won’t :) I’d get 30 minutes into it and fall asleep anyway  
Nearing my bedtime

Deimos: aww yeah I guess it is kinda late  
thanks for movie date <3 this was really nice

Praxis: Yeah :) I’ll see you tomorrow?

Deimos: :D !!!! omg can’t wait so excited  
what time do you think you’ll be here?

Praxis: Depends… probably around noon maybe? I want to let the sun come up and melt any slick patches, just to be safe

Deimos: ok I’ll set my alarm for 11  
call if you might be earlier than that  
or just knock loud  
scream maybe lol

Praxis: Haha, okay. Okay. I really should brush my teeth and get into bed

Deimos: big comfy bed <3  
sorry mine’s kinda small lol

Praxis: That’s okay. I’m not going to complain :)

Deimos: aaahhhhh  
okay okay  
goodnight <3 <3 <3 see you tomorrow!!!

 


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